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 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 26
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Lol, sorry that made me laugh. When they're lied in bed as well that isn't a good look.
And you're right, the site is free so why woldn't people sign up and chance it.

I'm struggling to not reply to the hot guys lately, sometimes i do reply but know they're only after one thing so i let the conversations fizzle out. We're definitely not compatible but i can't help myself.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 27
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/9/2018 7:12:16 PM
If I just look at the last 4 messages from today, 1 is a scammer, 1 lives about 2 hrs away, 1 is originally from the east coast - looks like a wiseguy with his big gold neck chain, 1 lives about 50 mins away.

Everyone likes to list "outdoors" or they may get specific, but when questioned, their interests are mostly fillers.

Summary, most do not give a rat's @ss about compatibility. I particularly get a kick out of those that claim they don't want fwb, so don't contact them if you do, as if they get requests like that. One guy's 2 sentence profile declares he is NOT a cheater! That he never did and would never do that!

****CoolD, was that woman white or black or in between, that you spent the big bucks on for dinner. I think you said she was from Kent.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 28
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/9/2018 8:28:28 PM

****CoolD, was that woman white or black or in between, that you spent the big bucks on for dinner. I think you said she was from Kent.


I haven't dated a white woman since I was 19 back in 1984. I didn't spend that much. I averaged between $45-$50 on the dates. I was slightly over the Leykis 101 rule of $40 and under.

By the way, it's cooldog with a little "c" and a little "d"...
 Belleatrix
Joined: 12/17/2017
Msg: 29
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/9/2018 9:06:26 PM

I'm struggling to not reply to the hot guys lately, sometimes i do reply but know they're only after one thing so i let the conversations fizzle out. We're definitely not compatible but i can't help myself.


Life is short and chatting doesn't equate to meeting in person. Have some fun and let it fizzle out.


and a little "d"...


lmao
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 30
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/9/2018 9:08:47 PM
Okay, what did the big bad white women do to you When I see people jumping ship from whatever their race is, many times it seemed less to do with their new desire, and more to do with not liking their own race.
I'm not counting the guys that target 3rd world girls to live a life of submission with them.

It was the beginning of a sentence, so I capitalized
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 31
Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 9:18:15 AM
About a month ago I put in my profile that I'm not currently looking to meet anyone and that hasn't really changed the number of messages I get or the type. Looking at the last my 20 people to message me in my inbox, here is a summary:

1) guy asking for sex (I ignored)
2) guy asking for sex (I responded out of boredome but won't meet him)
3) guy asking for sex (I ignored)
4) guy I've been talking to for a few months on and off about hockey, food, tv, etc. (I consider him a friend)
5) guy asking for sex (he's asked for sex numerous time but he also talks about other interesting stuff so I keep talking to him)
6) guy asking for sex (I politely declined)
7) guy who is 5'4 (4.5 inches shorter than me)
8) guy asking me to meet him and his friend for coffee to see if I might join a threesome (I ignored and blocked)
9) guy asking for sex
10) guy asking for sex
11) guy asking for sex
12) guy who messaged me "Hey". (I replied back and got no response.)
13) guy who was 5'5 and into anime and gaming, nothing in his profile was like mine. (I ignored)
14) guy asking for sex.
15) a guy I know from growing up who asked me if I had met someone on here yet. (I responded and we made small talk for about a week but nothing came of it.)
16) my cousin saaid hi. (I said hi back.)
17) guy who started off with great conversation then the next convo it was all about sex positions and I couldn't veer the conversation elsewhere so I told him I wasn't interested.
18) a guy with a long beard started talking to me, okay conversation but I dislike is long beard. (We still talk though but he lives far away and I'm not really interested.)
19) 5'6 guy messaged me. I made polite conversation for a while but I wasn't interested.
20) Guy with broken English messaged me to talk about camping but he was 26 and a university student and lived two hours away. Then he asked me to join him in his hot tub. (I declined).
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 32
Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 9:22:19 AM

I'm struggling to not reply to the hot guys lately, sometimes i do reply but know they're only after one thing so i let the conversations fizzle out. We're definitely not compatible but i can't help myself.


I get the same way. Sometimes I just think," I know they are only looking for quick sex and I'm just the next on the list but he's so hot so why not give it a try? Would the experience be worth it? Or would I just end up feeling bad about myself for letting myself be used?"
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 33
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 10:30:19 AM
Wow that is so weird. So many asking for sex. Even the guys that messaged me back before I hid my profile didn't usually mention sex. Even though it's usually their main interest. God they have gotten so good at lying and playing us girls.. They even pretend they want a relationship and dating yet it's so obvious all they want is sex then to move on. Or basically a very casual fwb situation.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 34
Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 10:49:32 AM
Sienna, you are younger and thinner and do not have kids. Guys will try harder with you and be less forthcoming. With me they probably figure I might be desperate enough to do it but if I won't then at least they didn't have to go to any work to attempt. When I was on here at age 24, I didn't get a single message asking directly for sex. Until coming back to online dating at age 34, I had no idea so many men were so sex-crazed. I should have though.
 TheEvolutionOfJessi
Joined: 8/29/2015
Msg: 35
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:00:51 PM
What is this 'who messages you?" nonsense???? lol

lots of looks, no messages... and yeah, being a fat/bland/white woman.... (yes, cooldog I laughed) I message them and the 'horror' that I've made contact.... lol this is even on mutual 'meet me' fellows...

as for how I know they're not compatible or 'qualifiers'... not contributing to the message conversation...takes about four or five exchanges and I sense it's not going anywhere... and that's okay....
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 36
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:31:31 PM

I get the same way. Sometimes I just think," I know they are only looking for quick sex and I'm just the next on the list but he's so hot so why not give it a try? Would the experience be worth it? Or would I just end up feeling bad about myself for letting myself be used?"


Depends on the guy. Most guys won't leave you feeling used because even though it is 'just sex' they do want you to enjoy being with them and are usually socially adept so can make it a pleasurable experience all round.

You've got to be careful though and work out if they just like sex and women or if they hate women and expect us to have sex with them because they want it and think we should fulfil their needs for them coz these 2nd guys are bordering on psychopathy/sociopathy/narcissism.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 37
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 7:35:27 PM

letting myself be used?"


That's not an endearing quality.


feeling bad about myself for letting myself be used?"


Neither is that.


but he's so hot so why not give it a try?


Yes, be an "enabler" for these losers, rather than continue to shun them.

Another SMH moment.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 38
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/10/2018 8:00:35 PM

letting myself be used?"

That's not an endearing quality.


That's kind of a good point. If you want sex don't look at is as being used coz it does sound like you're just gonna lie there and let the guy do whatever he wants and you won't get what you want which i doubt is what you meant. Find the guys who get that women enjoy sex.

I personally went for submissive guys who enjoy pleasing women and get off on that, they're the best type to have casual sex with i found and they make you a brew after. :D
With normal guys i didn't find them enough and needed to get into 3sums to enjoy myself with them.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 39
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/11/2018 2:47:26 AM

: Sienna, you are younger and thinner and do not have kids. Guys will try harder with you and be less forthcoming. With me they probably figure I might be desperate enough to do it but if I won't then at least they didn't have to go to any work to attempt. When I was on here at age 24, I didn't get a single message asking directly for sex. Until coming back to online dating at age 34, I had no idea so many men were so sex-crazed. I should have though.

That is horrible but at least they are honest about their intentions. I think the younger generation of males knows they won't get what they want if they are honest so they just lie and try to pretend they want to date and want something serious.

I hate it. Made it hard to trust what any of them said because you can't tell who is lying and who isn't. It's a thing that requires actions to show their true intentions over time. I just got kind of sick of caring for these guys when all they wanted to do with me was casually use me.

I got so sick of it I almost just got off the site but I had been talking to one guy and he seemed so bright eyed and bushy tailed, I couldn't bring myself to just abandon him.

The ones that are actually interested and give a crap and take it seriously will put the effort in to sending a decent message and to really talking to you and getting to know you either online or in person. It was so endearing when my boyfriend was describing how he was doing his first message to me and how he didn't want to screw it up lol
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 40
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/11/2018 3:05:49 AM
Most guys know what they are doing when it comes to sex. They do sometimes have unrealistic expectations that all girls enjoy the same things or will know how to please them. They also sometimes suck at communication or are lazy or shy and won't tell us how they like it etc.

I think that is why it is better when it is in a relationship atleast for me anyway, and you really know and trust them, more likely the communication will be more open and it will more relaxed, enjoyable and pleasurable.

When I've done stuff with guys I didn't know all that well it was more awkward and just wasn't as good. Obviously some guys like to please more than others. They are good and ones that are good at communicating and like to lead.

That's why I like very dominant men. I like to be told what to do. I mean I have things I like as well but the guy has to take the lead and basically seduce/dominate me for me to get aroused.
I used to want a 3some but butt basically I wanted yo watch my lover fvck a guy and all of that jazz. I didn't want to sleep with another man. I don't want to share him though so I couldn't but the thought is so hot
 Canelas19
Joined: 7/17/2017
Msg: 41
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/11/2018 10:43:56 AM
It's horrendous the tricks some guys play to get away with whatever they want. Especially because most don't even know what they want, pitiful and so shallow. Although asking for sex in such a crude way is not acceptable, and lacks any kind of respect, I would prefer to see where some men are coming from. I can always appreciate honesty rather than a guy treating me like I'm retarded and won't eventually realize of his real intentions. It's just some guys are such predators, only care about their goal no matter at what cost. No integrity, conscience or self respect at all, only entitled selfish brats.


Sienna, you are younger and thinner and do not have kids. Guys will try harder with you and be less forthcoming. With me they probably figure I might be desperate enough to do it but if I won't then at least they didn't have to go to any work to attempt. When I was on here at age 24, I didn't get a single message asking directly for sex. Until coming back to online dating at age 34, I had no idea so many men were so sex-crazed. I should have though.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 42
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/13/2018 8:16:56 AM

Okay, what did the big bad white women do to you When I see people jumping ship from whatever their race is, many times it seemed less to do with their new desire, and more to do with not liking their own race.


The number of non-black women I've been involved with can be counted on one hand. They did nothing to me. I simply have a different racial preference. It happens. No self hate.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 43
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/13/2018 9:35:37 AM
Interesting thread. Very. Some of this should definitely be in the sex thread, but no moderators, so …

We’ve got one woman who likes


submissive guys who enjoy pleasing women and get off on that, they're the best type to have casual sex with i found and they make you a brew after. :D

Hmmm…. Definitely not me. Never been submissive, never will be. I will get you a drink, which I assume is what she means by “make you a brew”?

Then we have another woman who says basically the opposite:


I like very dominant men. I like to be told what to do. I mean I have things I like as well but the guy has to take the lead and basically seduce/dominate me for me to get aroused.

That’s why I like people, and people watching. We have an endless variety, and everyone is different and unique. Makes life interesting, yes?

Okay, I have a question: JulyStorm, in msg 32, you talk about the last 20 messages in your inbox. By my count, 9 of the 20 were “guy asking for sex”. Having never done that, I’m curious how that works?

Something like, “Are you DTF?”

Or “Interested in a hookup?”

Or “I’m looking for a FWB, are you interested?”

Or ????


Belleatrix

and a little “d” …

Lmao

Belle, you should be ashamed of yourself, that was a low blow. And speaking of low blows (smile)


feirene
I'm struggling to not reply to the hot guys lately, sometimes i do reply but know they're only after one thing so i let the conversations fizzle out.

Change the word “only” to “primarily” and you’re closer to the reality of the situation. If he’s a man, a younger man, then sex and the desire for sex is the primary motivating factor in his life. Period. End of sentence. But you have absolutely no way of knowing if that is the “only” thing he may offer.



Depends on the guy. Most guys won't leave you feeling used because even though it is 'just sex' they do want you to enjoy being with them and are usually socially adept so can make it a pleasurable experience all round.

^^^ This. Live is short, and we are meant to enjoy it. Do NOT buy into any religion that makes you think you have to suffer here on earth in order to get into heaven.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 44
Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/13/2018 10:57:53 AM
Lol, how long did that post take you ohenryx? Such a lot of quotes, I wouldn't have the patience I'll give you examples of the types of messages I get. These are actual messages. Some of the actual questions aren't immediate but come withing maybe three or four messages:

1) Are you DTF?
2) Want to wrestle?
3) I'm looking for a little roll in the hay. Is that something you'd like to partake in?
4) I'm looking for a woman who can dominate me. Is that your desire?
5) I'm trying to lose my virginity. Messaging a lot of women hoping that they will be the one.
6) I love curvy women. So sexy. Are you dtf?
7) Hey. Are you into meeting me tonight for a nightcap at my place?
8) Hi sexy lady. You want sex?
9) Your picture made my manrod grow when I looked at it. Are you interested in meeting him?
10) I'm looking for a curvy woman to pound all night long...
11) Morning cutie. Would love to have you join me in bed this morning.
12) You are a busy single mom and I'm a busy single dad. I miss sex. Would you be interested?
13) Really horny right now. Need a woman badly right now. Would you do the honours? I'd let you pick the position.
14) Are you interesting in meeting up for some body-on-body action?
15) Are you interesting in meeting me for sex?
16) Just looking for someone to join me in a little sexual exploration.

And the list goes on...
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 45
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/13/2018 12:45:09 PM
I don't get requests for sex. Older guys are too smart for that, I think. But I do see under first date, it may say, "coffee, walk in the park or....." The or could be followed by a "?" or ":)" I guess they're eluding to sex, but what they're going to get is passed over.

July, it's better that these guys are upfront. I think for a quickie, I'd rather hit up someone with more class, and maybe no psychological problems where they may go to hookers.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 46
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/13/2018 9:44:20 PM
Sometimes the differences between us is what makes it work. I don't put a lot of stock in profiles, I prefer to judge upon meeting. In the past I've been put off by spelling/grammer but upon meeting found them to be intelligent men, just poor spellers.
Obvious huge differences I'll point that out and leave it to them if they still want to meet.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 47
Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/13/2018 10:29:18 PM

I get that nobody really cares and just seems to spam anyone and everyone, just thought it's be interesting to hear your views.


I think it’s mostly the men who are doing the spamming. I’ve only gotten one first contact message that wasn’t a scammer, and I chose to ignore it because her profile made her look like a gold digger. It’s common that men can go months or even years on this site without receiving any messages. I’m lucky to get the occasional response.
 Belleatrix
Joined: 12/17/2017
Msg: 48
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/14/2018 9:39:17 AM

Belle, you should be ashamed of yourself, that was a low blow. And speaking of low blows (smile)


I am unfortunately not familiar with the concept of feeling ashamed of myself, life is too "short", lol
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 49
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Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/14/2018 2:57:17 PM

Sometimes the differences between us is what makes it work. I don't put a lot of stock in profiles, I prefer to judge upon meeting. In the past I've been put off by spelling/grammer but upon meeting found them to be intelligent men, just poor spellers.
Obvious huge differences I'll point that out and leave it to them if they still want to meet.


People can say anything they want on their profiles as well. I know some guys get other people to write them out for them too, and there's even a section on here what helps with that.

I chat to anyone so long as i think they're not after sex or gonna talk BS to me.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 50
Who messages you and you know they're not compatible?
Posted: 4/14/2018 11:06:53 PM
What long frustrated me, even back in my younger dating days was the lack of common interests of guys that asked me out or messaged me. Guys who disliked hockey and sports in general who weren't into the outdoors. I tend to like your rugged outdoors guy or farmboy or small-town boy. Never was asked out by one though. All these city boys not into sports or the outdoors seem to contact me.
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