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 HanoverFella
Joined: 1/16/2018
Msg: 26
Forum Wisdom?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

She looked like the world's oldest and ugliest whore, so she's the last one who should try to criticize other people's photos.
made me laugh, yet sad...mostly because it still didn’t narrow down who he’s talking about. 😆
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 27
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Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/16/2018 6:49:56 AM
Being shorter and bald is 2 strikes against me in online dating.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 28
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Posted: 4/16/2018 8:32:40 AM
^^^But IRL you would be fine?
I think OLD isn't for everyone. When people are "shopping"
here...they look at things like pictures, height, weight, and income.

IRL...you see someone you like and you just talk to them.
I could be wrong, but I think it's smiles and personality that draw
people IRL.

I realize I don't have anything on my profile, and I'm not really
looking, but I still get messages. I think my age is holding me back
here, but I could be wrong.

IRL I have no problem meeting people, talking to them and getting
or asking for invites for tasty beverages or even dinner.

Basically, at this point in my life, I think I'm too lazy to pursue anything.

PS...WTF...it's snowing here and I'm supposed to go on vacation tomorrow!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 29
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Posted: 4/16/2018 1:19:57 PM
For me, over the many years -- it just accelerated the piecing together of things in the dating & relationship world that others go thru, to see the forest through the trees... which would normally take one longer. And also a greater clarity that what a gal says she likes Is Different than what she actually Does like IRL. Which makes one understand why PUA blogs and the like picked up steam -- it had something to base it off of (even though many PUA stuff, like anything else dealing with dating/working out/etc gets over the top).

Being shorter and bald is 2 strikes against me in online dating.

It's not 2 strikes. Being shaven-bald in a stylish way, especially over 45, is not a big knock. That may not be the style for some gals, but some girls actually like that (as opposed to short or other dating-negatives). If I had a suitcase of $250,000 cash, and I said -- you have 3 months to get yourself lined up and to at Least Start casually dating a gal you're attracted to ... I think your luck would change. :)
 Belleatrix
Joined: 12/17/2017
Msg: 30
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Posted: 4/16/2018 7:21:53 PM

In the forums everything's a big deal. Everything! How you dress, who pays, where you meet/how you get there, text or phone, what constitutes a date/relationship and on and on.
While dating I didn't really experience any of this and reading all this may have scared me off OLD.
Some wisdom in here, some disappointed people, some naive people, just like in real life.


+1
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 31
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Posted: 4/16/2018 8:41:04 PM
cooldog, I say this in all sincerity.
IF I knew of any ladies in your area, of the right size, age and color, I would definitely send them your way. As much as one gets to know another regular Forumite, from their posting history, you are a great guy.

Bald, meh / 5'7'', meh. Your smile lights up this page! A batter isn't out at 2 strikes. Third ball could be a homerun!
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 32
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/17/2018 6:23:49 AM
one of the general problems in getting a partner is, when we are strangers, we are picked on physical features. Then we get to know people, like their personality, and say, "gee, i'd love to date that person". Which doesn't always mean the same as, "dayum, I want to get naked and press together with that person" : ) I've had women want to be my friend, hang out, got romantic when they were drunk...but it sure didn't mean they wanted to have sex.

Physical attributes can bite us in the ass at the bar...but our personality may convince a coworker to break the rules about fraternizing.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 33
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/17/2018 8:46:59 AM
If you look at the way many good relationships started, at least among the elderly (which is something I hear about and ask questions about a lot) there are common themes. They often met in real life, were introduced by friends and family or met at a sports day or a dance or at church or they lived down the road. And they got to know each other first, they courted. But before they courted they met and it wasn't meeting to consider hooking up or getting together, it was a casual meeting. Guys or girls didn't walk all over the dance hall analyzing each other by their height, weight, looks, clothes, etc. A guy asked a girl to dance and then if the dance was enjoyable they'd talk and get to know each other. With online dating we skip a step. We don't even get to the dance. But the problem is we are all strangers. If we could all be at a dance and get to know each other first before approaching, I wonder how much easier it would be to find someone.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 34
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Posted: 4/17/2018 11:06:23 AM

cooldog, I say this in all sincerity.
IF I knew of any ladies in your area, of the right size, age and color, I would definitely send them your way. As much as one gets to know another regular Forumite, from their posting history, you are a great guy.


I'm blushing and embarrassed...


Bald, meh / 5'7'', meh. Your smile lights up this page! A batter isn't out at 2 strikes. Third ball could be a homerun!


*Looks down*...I'm content with the two I have. Three's a crowd...


Boo...Real life has definitely worked better for me. With my preferences, I'm fishing from a pretty small pond.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 35
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Posted: 4/17/2018 11:35:43 AM

*Looks down*...I'm content with the two I have. Three's a crowd...


LOL, Yep, like I said, "a great guy", You's funny!
 Llove2LaughToo
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 36
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/19/2018 7:56:39 PM

spot4username - Msg: 5
What have I learned?

That out of the regular posters very few date or have been with another person in years - in some cases a decade or more. Reading a bunch of incels giving advice is eye rolling.

Yet here they are giving dating, relationship, and sex advice. Advice about meeting a man/woman when they haven't done it in so long they have no idea how it even works anymore. And yes, it is not the same as it was five, ten, twenty years ago.

Some I laugh at but some I pity.

I have also learned that a lot of the regulars can't tell a troll from a hole in the ground. They will feed the trolls endlessly.

There is wisdom in here from the ones who are happily coupled up and/or dating in the real world. As with all advice take it with a grain of salt. What is correct for one is not correct for all.


Very well said!
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 37
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Posted: 4/19/2018 11:56:46 PM
I learned that there are a lot men that really don't like women. It was quite the surprise. I don't mean men with complaints about women and their past bad relationships/marriages, I mean men that hate women. For men having bad experiences, sometimes you've got to kiss a lot of frogettes, before you find your princess.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 38
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Posted: 4/21/2018 7:01:05 PM
I got it ! I got it !
I've learned some amazing forum wisdom, just tonight ~ in this very same thread !!!

" opinions are like arseholes & farts "

^^^ Hmmmm ? Well then, it's obvious to the most casual observer ~
They all must stink ~ OMG phew weeee !!!

I'm not listenin' , to no stinkin' opinions here, no more > that's for sure !!!

^^^
Then again, I might stink this over for a bit :)
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 39
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Posted: 4/22/2018 8:01:49 AM
After reading the forums for over 10 years... I think I date more like a man than a woman.

I've learned that "paragraphs are your friends" too.
 Braylen99
Joined: 4/19/2018
Msg: 40
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/22/2018 1:29:22 PM
The one that care’s the least wins.

Everybody wants to go to a party but nobody wants to host one.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 41
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Posted: 4/24/2018 10:49:54 AM
I learned here that there are ALOT of fish in the sea, but I've been way too picky, waiting for the ever elusive soul mate.

And cooldog, us baldies may have a bit of a uphill climb, but like they say, there is a lid for every pot!
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 42
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Posted: 4/24/2018 11:00:42 AM
^^^ It's always an uphill climb for me since I'm short...
 KPOL52
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 43
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/26/2018 3:28:43 PM
Those B&B Fishladies (Brazen & Bold) who are unafraid to launch a first strike email, are absolute Wildcats in bed.

At least, that's my theory.

I may as well throw in that your average Forum Peep is far more likely to respond to and pay attention to the people above him or her than to the OP.

Such is the Nature of the Forum beast.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 44
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Posted: 4/26/2018 4:10:37 PM
^^
Ha! I love the first strike theory. I don't care for the process of online dating but I will say that I like Tinder and have had more dates with Bumble than any other site. Perhaps it is because I get to make the first strike.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 45
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Posted: 4/26/2018 4:51:40 PM
I'm sure men see someone contacting them as guaranteeing sex, though it may not be the case. That would be the reason why many will respond positively.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 46
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I won the pool for those who are keeping track ;)
Posted: 4/26/2018 5:12:39 PM

I'm sure men see someone contacting them as guaranteeing sex, though it may not be the case. That would be the reason why many will respond positively.

Awwwww bless your passive aggressive little heart.

Whether sex is on the table is always up to both people regardless of how they meet or who makes the first move be it online or in person.

Perhaps men respond positively because they are happy to be contacted by an attractive woman. A woman confident enough to say hi. A woman who isn't bitter and jaded. A woman who is height and weight proportionate. A woman who is not on disability.

I mean who knows what rings another person's bell?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 47
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I won the pool for those who are keeping track ;)
Posted: 4/26/2018 5:31:49 PM
Not passive-aggressive at all, just stating reality. Having the attributes you mentioned is a plus, but if the man's goal is sex, he can easily overlook flaws for a quickie. Men don't care as much about a woman's looks or weight or anything if they're not keeping them around. If I started contacting men, and they all wanted to go out with me, I wouldn't take that as a compliment.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 48
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I won the pool for those who are keeping track ;)
Posted: 4/27/2018 2:27:21 AM
I’ve actually had a few guys who I’ve messaged suspect I’m fake. This is when I had pics up too.
They get a bit defensive and start asking for more/different pics. And kinda play hard to get. Can’t be doing with that.
Fortunately the majority are receptive to a woman messaging first.
Do men really think this signals easy sex?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 49
wait, there was a pool? i guess i belly-flopped that one
Posted: 4/27/2018 5:36:33 AM
some men will see easy sex in a saltine :)

There may be older men, used to the role of being the chaser, who think a woman showing interest in them means *something*. They are used to certain roles. The younger generation has likely seen roles change.
Forum Wisdom?
Posted: 4/27/2018 5:45:56 AM

I'm sure men see someone contacting them as guaranteeing sex, though it may not be the case. That would be the reason why many will respond positively.

I agree, way back when, when I use to OLD I found this to be the case. One of the main reasons I quit contacting men and online dating.
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