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 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 101
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Attractive Qualities Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
PewDiePie Tells You How to: RESPECT WOMEN!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NsevBxOWFXs
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 102
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Posted: 5/14/2018 7:24:52 AM
"many of the people who don't fall under "good looking", made the choice to not look good"

>>>statistically speaking, average people look average, and a majority are average. It wasn't their choice that their face--arguably the most attractive feature, plus it shows our feelings and expressions, which also makes us attractive or not--is average. So, some of the people who can't attract a stranger from across the room, aren't making the choice. But, they can try to work with what they have--there is an obesity epidemic in this country. But if they slim down or muscle up, will that make up for an average-looking face? Depending upon the woman, it may not. They can spend money (they hopefully have) to look their best with convenience-store clothing or having a female take them shopping at H&M or go online and try some of the sites that pick for you and ship. I've been to some weddings where the bride looked wonderful in a gown and the right makeup...but I knew what she looked like on a daily basis. Sometimes a glamour shot on a profile or showing up for a first date in a 3 piece makes us look untruthful.

an attractive quality can be something that draws in strangers...or eventually wins over that one "Friend" we always wanted to get with. there are fellows who are always getting their pony tailed pulled, and there are others who won't be getting that level of interest, even in a tux. Some people may be willing to not pursue their best, b/c they did not grow up in a household that said, "find a way". others simply won't do it b/c...they don't value their looks as much as others do. I can drive down any road, and see a house that hasn't been cared for and the lawn is rarely mown. Does it mean they are too poor, or too busy...or they just don't worry about what the neighbors think? some people just don't have the proverbial green thumb, and others invest in their yard's appearance. Personally, I went to Catholic school, wore a suit coat and tie, and found it did not attract women to me. For what it would cost me to do a make-over, the rate of return wouldn't justify it. But for others, it could, and they should try it out sometime. Its easy to say it won't work, but try it and find out for sure. of course, for some their problem is, it might work...and then they have to keep it up.

an average looking guy with the right attitude, trumps the one with the wrong attitude. but is the guy with the right attitude going to get near what the hot guy is getting for attention? and i'm not even saying he has to get laid as often. sometimes its nice to go into a store and the salesperson runs over to help, b/c you're attractive. the cop lets you off with a warning, b/c you're cute. you get the sales promotion b/c you have a body that sells anything. there are social benefits to having what others want.

a frog with a wonderful attitude is....a frog with a wonderful attitude. I can commend Taylor Swift for her pretty face and her talent, but her boy-body and how she treats ex-bfs is always going to turn me off. and there's another factor in attracting people...we should be willing to admit our limitations, and go after people in our league. Even if i'm physically handsome, I might not get a Taylor Swift b/c she wants a celebrity--he understands her life and her requirements as a result of being a celebrity and what that entails in a romantic relationship.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 103
Attractive Qualities
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:49:15 AM
I'll disagree with the swineguy too. A person cannot help the face they are born with. Women can at least add makeup but men don't have that option.

Yes, weight can be helped but it's definitely not easy. I've been struggling with my weight for years yet I live a healthy lifestyle, watch what I eat and exercise. If I didn't I'd probably be a lot bigger. Many people can't fathom how difficult it really can be for many people to maintain a good body weight.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 104
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Posted: 5/14/2018 10:12:24 AM
"Women can at least add makeup but men don't have that option."-julystorm7

Ahem, I point you to the future!

https://www.refinery29.com/2017/07/162832/man-wearing-makeup-work-discrimination?utm_source=feed&utm_medium=rss

We are all going to die...


"Yes, weight can be helped but it's definitely not easy. I've been struggling with my weight for years yet I live a healthy lifestyle, watch what I eat and exercise. If I didn't I'd probably be a lot bigger. Many people can't fathom how difficult it really can be for many people to maintain a good body weight. "-julystorm7

I totally understand that. With the way my slow metabolism works, just looking at food makes me gain weight. Once upon a time, I did work out often. Not anymore. I got tired with putting all that work in just to be single anyway.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 105
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Posted: 5/14/2018 11:19:47 AM
Most metabolisms slow down because as adults, you move around less and have less lean muscle tissue. Less muscle means a lower metabolism. That's why you never want to do pure cardio as a weight loss workout. You lose fat AND muscle which lowers your resting metabolism.
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 106
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Posted: 5/14/2018 11:27:13 AM
Can you imagine an OLD site where you have to read a profile before viewing a photo? But these sites are based on viewing a photo. We are a visual society. It does amaze me that many photos are absolutely terrible.

At least try to put your best foot forward but he honest. Attractiveness is subjective to each person's preference. What one person likes might be a turn off to another. In my age group, poor choices really start to show up. Genes might have something to do with it, too.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 107
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Posted: 5/14/2018 12:22:26 PM

Posted By: grover14 on 5/14/2018 113 PM
Subject: Attractive Qualities
Message: Can you imagine an OLD site where you have to read a profile before viewing a photo?


Yeah,I met my 2nd wife on Yahoo Personals back in 2002. No photos there.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 108
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Posted: 5/14/2018 12:24:34 PM
Grover, I would venture to guess that men, more than women, go by pictures. The one thing I find good about OLD is that you can see a person's interests to know what you may have in common. I find common interests attractive.

What is that snazzy looking car in your photos?
 grover14
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 109
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Posted: 5/14/2018 12:39:51 PM
You might be right, NY, it's pretty easy to just scan profile photos and go read the profile later. I'm sure it happens to me considering my preferred haircut. ?? I totally understand that.

My toy is a 39 Ford coupe streetrod. I know, it's a guy hobby, but I know a gal with a killer 66 GTO.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 110
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Posted: 5/14/2018 12:56:04 PM
I get 100x more meet me notices than messages. Those men are not reading profiles. Part of it I think is that a lot of men don't like to read, and maybe they're going the easy route thinking that women actually take the time to do a search to then look up their profile. I don't know why they'd think women would put in that effort when they didn't.

Sweet ride! I love classic cars. I don't have a classic, but do have a 2013 red Mustang, stick, that I love!
 flbl60
Joined: 4/22/2011
Msg: 111
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Posted: 5/14/2018 1:57:51 PM
"But if they slim down or muscle up, will that make up for an average-looking face? Depending upon the woman, it may not." mach1mustang11


Perhaps if I clean my finger nails and clip my toe nails.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 112
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Posted: 5/14/2018 2:10:44 PM

But if they slim down or muscle up, will that make up for an average-looking face?


It will surely beat the hell out of having an average face and below average body. The big attractiveness killer (in the U.S., at least) is obesity.


Personally, I went to Catholic school, wore a suit coat and tie, and found it did not attract women to me.


Yes, I served in the same brainwashing hellholes, too, and nobody found school uniforms attractive. There was nothing "cool" about them because everyone looked alike and they represented our "imprisonment". Everyone would have felt the same if they had been Armani suits.


an average looking guy with the right attitude, trumps the one with the wrong attitude. but is the guy with the right attitude going to get near what the hot guy is getting for attention?


Why would this even matter? It's not about scorekeeping, it's about getting more attention than he did before.


Some people may be willing to not pursue their best, b/c they did not grow up in a household that said, "find a way".


That's exactly the excuse making I'm talking about. At middle age, one is no longer an impressionable child and should possess the ability and free thinking to recognize their own self-defeating attitude.


a frog with a wonderful attitude is....a frog with a wonderful attitude.


Who is more positively perceived than the moping frog. Perception is huge.


That's why you never want to do pure cardio as a weight loss workout. You lose fat AND muscle which lowers your resting metabolism.


Correct, this is where so many people get it wrong or they believe they have to suddenly take on the same brutal regimen a pro bodybuilder would, and that's just false.


Yes, weight can be helped but it's definitely not easy.


As I said, living a shitty and unfulfilling life is really hard, too.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 113
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we may be attracted to...whatever we need/want that particular moment
Posted: 5/14/2018 4:48:00 PM
"nobody found school uniforms attractive. There was nothing "cool" about them because everyone looked alike and they represented our "imprisonment". Everyone would have felt the same if they had been Armani suits. "

>>>which is an interesting concept. My junior high had terrible suits we had to wear, but high school we could choose what we wanted, and the rich kids didn't do Sears and Roebuck. Clothes allegedly make the man, yet when everyone has the suit, we're all just penguins at the Pole :) Maybe clothing is a relative thing? the ladies can probably answer this. Personally, I don't think clothes matter beyond the first few seconds a woman views a stranger. Some women might look at what he wears, and decides its a uniform of some sort and dreams up what life he has--he's a professional, a jock, a clothing horse, etc.

"Why would this even matter? It's not about scorekeeping, it's about getting more attention than he did before. "

>>the scorekeeping suggests there's a difference :) Looks likely trump attitude or performance--a woman might chase a guy with looks, so he doesn't need a wonderful attitude or to even approach. She's chasing him already convinced she wants him--success is totally in his lap. The frog with the wonderful attitude has to convince her she wants to have the frog. she gets to decide.

"That's exactly the excuse making I'm talking about. At middle age, one is no longer an impressionable child and should possess the ability and free thinking to recognize their own self-defeating attitude."

>>>its true, we should all question things we adapted in childhood sometime in our lives. Religion, moral beliefs, etc. We might accept some, reject some, etc.

"Who is more positively perceived than the moping frog. Perception is huge."

>>it is a big factor to an audience who cares. in our daily grind we cross paths with people, but who catches our attention? Usually, its the one with the great looks, the rest are the wallpaper. Our minds can't process everything. But if we are interested in looking for personality that day, then we can be drawn in by Sammy Sunshine--even if he's obese. we like his "Can-do" attitude, probably b/c we're facing a daunting project that day ourselves.

Grover, hope your Standard is running well, I think I have a dead spot in my starter solenoid.
 MadameBoisseau
Joined: 5/11/2017
Msg: 114
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Posted: 5/14/2018 7:10:50 PM

I'll disagree with the swineguy too. A person cannot help the face they are born with. Women can at least add makeup but men don't have that option


Men can groom themselves in a variety of ways women never can with facial hair.
A well trimmed goatee and stache can turn a pasty fat baby face into a handsome daddy-esque face.

The number one issue I see with men not being "attractive" is having no sense of charisma.
The vast majority of men in my age group look the same: jeans, t-shirt and hat.
No hair, either on their face or head.
There is no uniqueness to them, no style, nothing that stands out, all the features that scream masculinity and can provide opportunities to show individuality are sheared off.
It amazes me so few men think of how in the wild many males have manes - and many females thus find hair attractive.

Men will comment: how did that fat guy all scraggly with piercings and tattoos get that hot chick? Its called CHARISMA.
we may be attracted to...whatever we need/want that particular moment
Posted: 5/14/2018 7:11:11 PM
A buddy and I were having a conversation about this over the weekend. It applies to men and woman. To me, a woman doesn't have to be a super model for me to be attracted to her. I've dated woman that turned a lot of heads when we walked into a room, I've dated average looking woman and some that others might not find attractive but they had qualities that were attractive to me. A lot of guys want a woman that will turn heads. It feels good when other people look at your woman (or man) and you think "yeah... she's (or he's) with me!". A lot of people are looking for a Ferrari but they can be happy with a Ford.

Being honest, I'm a boob guy. My second girlfriend was slightly overweight with DDs. She was 5'7. They fit her body very well. I rather be with a woman who is a little overweight with large breasts over someone who is slim and a B cup but... that describes the woman I was with the longest (13 years). I still found her very attractive.

Woman are much more than boobs but this topic is about physical attraction :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 116
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we may be attracted to...whatever we need/want that particular moment
Posted: 5/14/2018 7:20:54 PM

.............but this topic is about physical attraction :)

Welllll.................... actually the OP wrote in her initial post,

What are some non-physical qualities that you find to be endearing or attractive?
we may be attracted to...whatever we need/want that particular moment
Posted: 5/14/2018 7:22:47 PM
And that's what happens when I don't read the whole thread!!! :)
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 118
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Posted: 5/14/2018 7:26:50 PM
Thanks LadyInRed. This thread was originally about attractive qualities that you notice upfront that are NOT physical. Also, they're not directly linked to dating.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 119
we may be attracted to...whatever we need/want that particular moment
Posted: 5/14/2018 8:51:42 PM

Men can groom themselves in a variety of ways women never can with facial hair.
A well trimmed goatee and stache can turn a pasty fat baby face into a handsome daddy-esque face.

The number one issue I see with men not being "attractive" is having no sense of charisma.
The vast majority of men in my age group look the same: jeans, t-shirt and hat.
No hair, either on their face or head.
There is no uniqueness to them, no style, nothing that stands out, all the features that scream masculinity and can provide opportunities to show individuality are sheared off.
It amazes me so few men think of how in the wild many males have manes - and many females thus find hair attractive.

Men will comment: how did that fat guy all scraggly with piercings and tattoos get that hot chick? Its called CHARISMA.


In some cultures facial hair on women is considered attractive. Maybe men all dress the same because their really isn’t that much choice in men’s style. Many women will actually say they prefer men in jeans, teashirts and a hat as opposed to a man who dresses too flamboyantly. When a man’s hairline starts to recede it looks better to shave it all off than to get the combover look. Many women also like clean-shaven men.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 120
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Posted: 5/14/2018 9:25:41 PM
MadameB, most of my exes were what I'd call charming. It's a nice quality for a guy to have.
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 121
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Posted: 5/15/2018 1:46:01 AM
It is very true that that you cant really make your self physical attractive. You either have a good looking face or you dont and there is nothing you can do about that. Makeup is something i hate as i find most women look worse with makeup or like the same but most the time worse. Nothing you can do to change if you have good looking eyes or not and the over all look of having a cute face or not. Now what you can do is weight control and that is for both women and men and how you style your hair. Take any women or guy and add a lot of weight to them they are going to look much less attractive or take any women or guy who is way over weight and have them lose a lot of weight they are going to be a lot more attractive. If you style your hair in a bad way that is going to make things worse. Just about all women look better with long hair in less they are like 80 years old. Weight is not always easy though. Ever person is different and age plays a big factor to. Some people can like eat any thing and not even excursive and will not get fat other people have a hard time keeping weight off. I love food but even if i like really try to eat good and try to lose weight i will lose like only 1-2 lbs in a month and then i will get frustrated and than like eat ice cream. Some people can build music easier than other people can. You could take 2 people have them eat the same and excursive the same and one may build a lot of music and the other one may just build a little music and still have a hard time getting rid of the fat. Even hair there is only so much you can do and even more so if you are a guy. You almost never see women go completely bold but guys normally do with age. Some guys may go bold at a young age where other guy doesn't or one may go gray and not bold for a while where another guy may not go gray but go bold. I heard guys on average start to lose hair at age 34 yet my hair started to thin some a few years ago at like age 27 or like 7 years earlier than average yet i have like zero gray. I would rather go gray better to have gray hair than no hair. I know stress can be a cause of hair lose but you cant always get away from your stress. I am extremely stressed out may be part of why i am losing hair already but my stress is the fact i cant stand my job and i have been trying to find a new job for almost 6 years but no one is like highering its just about impossible to find a job i have tried and tried to find a new job.

Both men and women cant control like the type of nose they have or the way there ears look or limps or jaw line and for women you cant control if you have big boobs or small boobs. So really the only way some one can choice to not be good looking is if they are just lazy like dont comb there hair or they just eat badly and dont excursive or like dont shower the rest is just genetics.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 122
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Posted: 5/15/2018 4:57:58 AM
"Men can groom themselves in a variety of ways women never can with facial hair. A well trimmed goatee and stache can turn a pasty fat baby face into a handsome daddy-esque face."

>>>interesting, b/c as a bald dude, I always figured growing something on my face would just unbalance the overall look of my face. I could invest in hair growth, I suppose, to do what Pig suggested (Work to be the best I can be), but my boss tried hair plugs and they looked like hell. and yes, I didn't get much attention when I did have hair, so I doubt that's going to change--but maybe i'm cynical.

"the number one issue with men is having no sense of charisma. they wear the same clothes"

>>>Also interesting, I thought charisma was charm and personality attributes, not clothes worn. but this returns us to the question, do clothes really make the man? I rode the public bus to Catholic school, and can say, wearing slacks, a crisp Oxford, a suit coat, and a diver's watch did absolutely nothing to attract women. Another Catholic school grad here agreed. which I think brings us back to the point, someone will killer personality can probably stand out regardless of what they wear (Assuming they aren't dressed like a hobo or haven't showered, natch).

I've known hot girls who loved the scraggly fat dude b/c they had issues. I've known women who loved musicians b/c they loved music and dancing. I've known women who loved musicians who sang about emotions and revealed passion in their skill. I've known women who loved sports b/c of the camaraderie it created. A human who is outgoing and engaging, can get attention universally. most people love to be engaged. Politicians and other charlatans can work a room by showing interest in other peoples' stories rather than bragging about how great they are.
 flbl60
Joined: 4/22/2011
Msg: 123
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Posted: 5/15/2018 7:13:32 AM
" There is no uniqueness to them, no style, nothing that stands out, all the features that scream masculinity and can provide opportunities to show individuality are sheared off. " madameboisseau

Cheesy Pick Up Line:

HER: Ooohhh... You have hair like a cave man..

ME: Yeah, and I'm strong like bull..

HER: How long does it take to blow dry..???
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 124
Attractive Qualities
Posted: 5/15/2018 7:50:55 AM
I dislike beards and most facial hair on guys in general. Would much rather kiss a cleanshaven guy. When it comes to clothes, the guys I'm attracted to are your typical jeans and t-shirt guys. But NOT skinny jeans, yuck.

I often wondered throughout my life how to attract guys better. I don't think I'm that bad looking when I look at myself in mirror, even with the extra weight and I try to give myself a confident aura. But I think I really suck at flirting, I'm just not comfortable doing that. When I was in high school, the group of girls I hung out with seemed to have the art down well. We used to go to parties and before I knew it they'd already start the flirting with the guys of their choosing and before long be making out. I just couldn't do that unless I partaked in alcohol, in which case, it all my nerves went away. And in university, it was the same way. I had friends try to help me but I just found it weird. I think it was problematic seeing guys as targets or something. I grew up with only brothers and mostly guy friends (until the above-named high school girls). I've always been so good at being friends with guys but making myself into a sexual interest proved kind of terrifying. My natural personality is I'm a tomboy, not necessarily girly, I was always into sports and never much into pretty clothes or makeup, just wasn't my thing. But guys like girls to be feminine and it's something I struggled with. I always had guys I had big crushes on but I always friend-zoned myself. And because I friend-zoned.myself, often guys probably thought about me as just one of the guys and I heard all their thoughts about girls they liked, even the lewd thoughts. Knowing what was going on their heads made me even more sketched out.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 125
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Posted: 5/15/2018 8:21:57 AM
Madame:
No hair, either on their face or head.
There is no uniqueness to them, no style, nothing that stands out, all the features that scream masculinity and can provide opportunities to show individuality are sheared off.
It amazes me so few men think of how in the wild many males have manes - and many females thus find hair attractive.
Well, can I read into this...that you go crazy over bald men with mullets? If it's well kept? Or the universal sex appeal of a carefully coiffed bald ponytail? I mean, these qualify as "showing individuality," for sure....and yep, they are "manes," as well.

Mustang:
interesting, b/c as a bald dude, I always figured growing something on my face would just unbalance the overall look of my face. I could invest in hair growth, I suppose, to do what Pig suggested (Work to be the best I can be), but my boss tried hair plugs and they looked like hell. and yes, I didn't get much attention when I did have hair,
See above, what's not to say that a well groomed bald mullet, or bald ponytail wouldn't look good on you, and attract female attention? Read what Madame wrote! Be bold! Be different! Start a style trend!


I rode the public bus to Catholic school, and can say, wearing slacks, a crisp Oxford, a suit coat, and a diver's watch did absolutely nothing to attract women.
Clothes aren't as important for the young. Most young people can meet and bang each other with no problem. For older men, it's very important, as is grooming. After all, the "mussed up hair" look that looks sexy on a 22 year old dude, will make women think a 40 or 50- year old dude is homeless. Men must choose clothes wisely though. A 50+ with skinny jeans? And mussed up hair?....then he looks line a homeless person imitating a sausage. Of course there are exceptions, but very few older men can pull that look off successfully.


A human who is outgoing and engaging, can get attention universally
Add sense of humour, and I still believe this is the #1 consideration for a man's attractiveness, especially once men get into their 40s +. Remember the Cindy Lauper rule, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."
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