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 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 101
CLEAVAGEPage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
That's exactly what I figured. It does seem to me that guys don't really care too much about a woman's interests are as guys who respond to my profile appear to not even have read it. Women spend such a long time editing and perfecting their profile but 90% of what draws the guy is the pic. For women, it's the pic that will draw a woman in to looking at the profile. I'd say the guy's pic is 10% for the women and 70% is the profile contents and 20% is the initial message.
CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/15/2018 1:41:31 PM

Maybe but it comes down to the male ego. Men feel better about themselves if they have the better-paying job. Relationships between men who make more money than the women have a much better success rate. It also comes down to practicality. Often the woman is the primary caregiver of children and the amount of hours she can work are less plus she needs to take time off work so the man must be the provider. Yes, this is changing a bit but most men I know have no desire to see the roles reversed.


I do pretty good $ wise but have dated a number of woman who make more ($150K +). A woman can make $3K per week or be a cashier at Target. I don't care. I'm not after her money. Who she is as a person is more important along with physical attraction.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 103
CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/15/2018 1:53:53 PM
" Women spend such a long time editing and perfecting their profile but 90% of what draws the guy is the pic."

The same is true if you reverse the genders. When women look at a guy's profile picture and consider him ugly, or too short or too fat, are they willing to go out with him because of a nice profile? I've seen a lot of women's profiles that only say "If you need to know something, just ask". What brilliance! lol.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 104
hey, don't knock the knockers
Posted: 5/15/2018 3:08:29 PM
"who would turn down both beauty and money?"

>>>the guy who doesn't need the money, as much as he needs confirmation that he's da man. Some guys will turn down, or self-vandalize, a chance with a woman making more, insecure in the idea that she may leave him at any time for a dude making bank. People look for different goals to achieve in dating. Someone who wants to leach off a woman, will choose a stable one regardless of what she looks like, if she's going to put up with his needs. a man confident in his ability to attract a woman, worries less that she makes more. or replace "money" with "intelligence".
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 105
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hey, don't knock the knockers
Posted: 5/15/2018 4:21:55 PM

When it comes to attraction, men don't care what's on a woman's profile, how much money she makes or what kind of car she drives. All he cares about is what she looks like. That's why the profile pictures with women flaunting their bodies succeed in getting them so much attention. If a guy wants to talk politics or sports, he can phone a friend. On a first date, as much as a guy pretends to be interested in what the woman is saying, he's just picturing her naked and wondering when the clothes will come off. This is every man, from the lowest quality to highest quality. When a man and women finally enter a long term relationship, things like loyalty and intelligence matter a lot more.

I disagree. Depends on who you're talking about.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 106
hey, don't knock the knockers
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:09:59 PM

I read a lot of profiles from women who say they don't want a guy who has shirtless pics in his profile


bahahaha, right. Posting shirtless pics works when you're in good shape. This nonsensical claim means nothing.


Another thing that many women (not all) look for is a guy that has no facial hair.


No, this is your own preference talking. Beards have been "in" on a massive scale for a few years now. Don't think so? Try to find a copy of GQ magazine within the last 5 years without a shitload of bearded metrosexual men in it.


but women read profiles a lot more than men and they look for indications of personality.


Eh, no. Online dating has changed. It is not 2008 anymore. Profiles don't mean shit, and they shouldn't. They're a sales pitch people stopped believing in years ago. People are making their decisions based primarily on pictures and stats, then they exchange numbers to get the ball rolling quickly. If someone wants to continue going about this the antiquated way, they have every right, but how much would you care to bet they'll still be here months or years from now pissing and moaning about their shitty luck on POF?
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 107
hey, don't knock the knockers
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:15:27 PM

Another thing that many women (not all) look for is a guy that has no facial hair.


When when I was out last weekend I noticed that most of the hot women were with men who had beards. A lot of these guys were also shorter than me. I guess dating in real life is very different from dating online.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 108
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CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:31:30 PM

Also, when a guy says he has his own house and a good job, it's very attractive.


Looks are maybe 30% of it.


I'd say after the smile, height is the most second most important feature.


All shallow stuff that can change.
Then what?


Also, when a guy says he has his own house and a good job, it's very attractive.


That explains all those limousines pulling up to my house, full of women looking for a rose.

No, wait.....there are no limousines full of women.
Or anything else.


but women read profiles a lot more than men and they look for indications of personality.



Also, when a guy says he has his own house and a good job, it's very attractive. Looks are maybe 30% of it. And with looks, I'd say after the smile, height is the most second most important feature. Another thing that many women (not all) look for is a guy that has no facial hair.


Exactly where among the above things are there "indications of personality"?
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 109
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CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/15/2018 7:14:37 PM

I disagree. Depends on who you're talking about.


I'm talking about attraction. Men are aroused solely by a woman's appearance and flirtatious behaviour. Liking the same bands, movies and books is nice but it doesn't cause sexual arousal or compensate for not being attractive.


That's exactly what I figured. It does seem to me that guys don't really care too much about a woman's interests are as guys who respond to my profile appear to not even have read it. Women spend such a long time editing and perfecting their profile but 90% of what draws the guy is the pic. For women, it's the pic that will draw a woman in to looking at the profile. I'd say the guy's pic is 10% for the women and 70% is the profile contents and 20% is the initial message.


They do and they don't. At first, a woman's interests mean nothing because it's all about seeing if you're into her physically or not. If you're going to be in a long term relationship, her interests and intelligence do matter. Women don't really need to have anything on their profile other than a picture and information saying if they have kids and if they drink, smoke or do drugs.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 110
CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/15/2018 10:26:04 PM

I'm talking about attraction. Men are aroused solely by a woman's appearance and flirtatious behaviour. Liking the same bands, movies and books is nice but it doesn't cause sexual arousal or compensate for not being attractive.


Yeah, but a woman being shallow can be a complete turnoff for me. I couldn’t get sexually aroused by a woman who’s only interested in my wallet.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 111
CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/15/2018 11:32:15 PM
So we all agree? boobs are awesome......nom nom nom :)

The ‘women aren’t as visual’ stuff makes me laugh.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 112
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CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/16/2018 3:47:44 AM


I disagree. Depends on who you're talking about.
I'm talking about attraction. Men are aroused solely by a woman's appearance and flirtatious behaviour. Liking the same bands, movies and books is nice but it doesn't cause sexual arousal or compensate for not being attractive.

Again, it depends on who you're talking about. When you say "men"...you're assuming "most", or saying that something is almost intrinsic or universal. This is far from true.

I am definitely not solely aroused or attracted by appearance and flirtatious behavior. And I am definite that I'm not the only man on Earth for whom this is true. The other options which you offer are "Liking the same bands, movies and books"...these don't have such a big impact with me either. Appearance and common interests are of course important...but that's just not the big kahuna.

What is another big factor in arousal or attraction for me? Her character. Who she is. Why she is on a date with me or wants to be. What she's after, and why. Things like her interests or hobbies, or what she looks like...are not the big secret formula.

Yes, I know...people just don't usually think of this when thinking of arousal or attraction for a man. But that's the problem - people's popular perceptions. This isn't new, and it isn't rare. But it's out there and is how a LOT of us men operate.


but women read profiles a lot more than men and they look for indications of personality.

People have really got to stop saying this.

Eh, no. Online dating has changed. It is not 2008 anymore. Profiles don't mean shit, and they shouldn't. They're a sales pitch people stopped believing in years ago. People are making their decisions based primarily on pictures and stats, then they exchange numbers to get the ball rolling quickly. If someone wants to continue going about this the antiquated way, they have every right, but how much would you care to bet they'll still be here months or years from now pissing and moaning about their shitty luck on POF?

And this too. I don't think that a day will come when nobody is trying to write something real in the profile and read what's in others. If there begins to be more of a trend the other way, it would only be for specific places, like pof, and for certain people who get tired of the profiles being useless or didn't care about them in the first place.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 113
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Posted: 5/16/2018 10:20:04 AM

What is another big factor in arousal or attraction for me? Her character. Who she is. Why she is on a date with me or wants to be. What she's after, and why. Things like her interests or hobbies, or what she looks like...are not the big secret formula.

Yes, I know...people just don't usually think of this when thinking of arousal or attraction for a man. But that's the problem - people's popular perceptions. This isn't new, and it isn't rare. But it's out there and is how a LOT of us men operate.


I think you're talking about what makes you inclined to enter a long term relationship with someone, not what triggers attraction. Men are genetically designed to be attracted to women that would create healthy children with us. That's why we turn our heads when a beautiful woman walks by. I've never heard a man say: "Wow!! I'm pretty sure that woman that just walked by probably has great character!" when an average or below average woman walks by.

Picture this, a woman invites you over for lunch. She doesn't wear make up, her stomach hangs over her pants, she wears baggy clothes and is generally not attractive but she has everything you're looking for in terms of character and personality. Her younger sister who has a perfect body, cute face and long hair walks by in her underwear. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out which one the man will be more aroused by.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 114
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Posted: 5/16/2018 10:54:05 AM

I think you're talking about what makes you inclined to enter a long term relationship with someone, not what triggers attraction

No, what I think I'm talking about is what triggers attraction. As I said.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out which one the man will be more aroused by.

Apparently it does take a rocket scientist. I wouldn't be more aroused by the good looking woman dressed scantily. As I said.

If I find out about the better looking woman's character, and I like it, then I'll be attracted. If the non-attractive woman does have character that I like, would I be attracted to her? No. As you'll guess. But these points remain true.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 115
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Posted: 5/16/2018 11:11:01 AM

Apparently it does take a rocket scientist. I wouldn't be more aroused by the good looking woman dressed scantily. As I said.

If I find out about the better looking woman's character, and I like it, then I'll be attracted. If the non-attractive woman does have character that I like, would I be attracted to her? No. As you'll guess. But these points remain true.


That doesn't make any sense. You said two opposite things in one statement. You said a woman's character, not her looks is what makes you aroused. Then you said you wouldn't be attracted to a woman that has the perfect character for you but doesnsn't look hot. You just admitted that looks are the number one thing for attraction and arousal. If personality aroused you, it wouldn't matter what the unattractive woman looks like.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 116
CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/16/2018 12:40:39 PM

People have really got to stop saying this.


Nah. I will continue saying it. I've got 11 messages sitting in my inbox right now despite the fact my profile says "only here for the forums". This happens regularly. They don't read profiles. One even asked how far I am from Orlando. I'm IN Orlando. A few weeks ago, another asked how old I was.

As I said, people are free to do things their way, but if they respond *only* to people who read their babblefest novels, they're very likely going to be here an awfully long time. In addition to this, if they're hellbent on taking weeks or a month to "get to know someone" through messaging, they shouldn't be surprised when they're left behind. What do you think prompts the countless "ghosting" tales?

If I'm wrong, please point me to the mountain of current forum stories that reveal smashing success utilizing the aforementioned methods.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 117
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CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/16/2018 12:53:28 PM
^^^^My profile doesn't have anything on it really, and I still get messages.
Usually a couple a day or so.
I used to have a profile with a babblefest but not anymore because I'm mostly
not interested and I'm lazy.

Most times, I don't even bother reading the messages of people who's pictures
I don't like, unless the pictures are super weird.
Sometimes I'll look at the profile but not always. I'm pretty visual
with the pictures in here, but not so much when meeting people IRL.

The people I've corresponded most with are those I've contacted myself.
But they are usually out of state and we don't make plans to meet. I think I
plan it that way.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 118
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CLEAVAGE
Posted: 5/17/2018 5:01:35 PM
I've been divorced for 9 years. Of the women I've met online one thing you can never perceive is the personality of a person from a profile. That's something that can only be perceived from a personal meeting.

In 9 years I've read lots of profiles. There is a "limitation" to reading profiles: they all, essentially, contain the same content: beginning with "I love to laugh". Please tell us something that we already don't know. After reading endless profiles and they basically say the same this is it no wonder that some men ignore what is written.

Another turn off is "if you're looking for a FWB move on to the next profile". Most men know women are not looking for this a FWB relationship. To state this up front tells the average decent man that you've been burned and probably have an emotional wall a mile/kilometer high. These men will bypass such a profile: to much baggage (baggage = self proclaimed wisdom). However, the jerk will see this statement as a challenge to be conquered. You're shooting yourself in the foot.

Oh, Friends First! I tried the friends first approach. Two dates without any attempted gestures. DOESN'T WORK! Never see a third date. "You didn't show any non-sexual romantic interest". But isn't that what Friends First is suppose to mean?

There have been a few who are creative and it's interesting to read their profile(s).

But let us be real:

Men and women desire to have "some" amount of physical attraction in a romance partner. To deny this is to deny what we all know to be true.
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 119
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Posted: 5/18/2018 1:06:25 AM
I do read profiles but i look at photos first. If i dont find the women physically attractive i will not do any thing. If i find her to be physically attractive i will read the profile and if i see that we have some things in common than i will message them if not i will not message them. There have been a solid amount of women i have found physically attractive but not bothered to message them at all because i can tell from reading the profile that we have nothing in common at all and if we dont have similar interest i already know its not going to work has i am going to find the person boring and have nothing to talk about.

When it comes to cleavage that is not really something i look for in a profile is more about the face and the body over all has there are a lot of women that are flat chested that i still find attractive. When it comes to how much some one makes i dont really care has long has they are not just some lazy women that like refuses to work at all or something like that.
 mikeparkin2
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 120
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Posted: 5/18/2018 4:23:42 PM
Cleavage is what men had sex with before condoms and the pill were invented.
The trouble with a vagina is it presses on the penis and the semen doesn't flow as well and doesn't give the same satisfaction.
Rubbing the penis on the breasts is much better as there is no restriction of the semen at orgasm.
I much prefer breast sex to vaginal sex.
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 121
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Posted: 5/18/2018 6:47:17 PM
((coma_white ) Oh hell. Is this place still this damned stupid??

I do read profiles but i look at photos first

I think that people misinterpret what this means: We want to know information in both areas. But, using the visual avenue (some pics) provides a lot of info quickly...while going by the written (or spoken) word requires more time to assimilate.

The pic is right there - instant info. Even if you read the words...either before looking at the pic or afterwards. In real-life...you want information in both areas. You have requirements or standards in both areas. But you can't look at a person and instantly "see" all of the words that would describe who they are 'as a person' or all of the words that they'd say to you about who they are. So, guess what...you first look at them and get that information. And, depending on who YOU are and what you're after, you do or don't want to find out the rest...which is conventionally acquired by interacting with them and talking with them - like on first dates, or first messaging.

Imagine if it were the other way around - if somehow magically you could look at a person and instantly know a lot about their character...but in order to know what they LOOKED like, you had to exchange a lot of words in a spoken or written language, spending a lot of time doing so. Then we'd be arguing all of the time in some forum about the phenomena of instantly knowing a person's character and personality but problems arising from trying to find out what they looked like via exchanging a LOT of written or spoken linguistics.

The trouble with a vagina is it presses on the penis and the semen doesn't flow as well and doesn't give the same satisfaction.
Rubbing the penis on the breasts is much better as there is no restriction of the semen at orgasm.
I much prefer breast sex to vaginal sex.

Oooh...I dunno...the breast always seemed to smooth to me - no texture and too soft, so no stimulation. I can't feel a thing when fucking boobies. Does the inside of a yum-yum have more? Seems that way to me - not really more texture or friction or whatever...but it just that squeezes me more in my experience and maybe you ain't getting squeezed enough (?).

And I don't know what the hell you mean by semen-restriction or semen-flow...at orgasm, ain't nothing restricting the flow of my semen. The flow of semen is a result of orgasm...and orgasm happens because of stimulation.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 122
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Posted: 6/17/2018 9:45:24 AM

Eh, no. Online dating has changed. It is not 2008 anymore. Profiles don't mean shit, and they shouldn't. They're a sales pitch people stopped believing in years ago. People are making their decisions based primarily on pictures and stats, then they exchange numbers to get the ball rolling quickly.

I agree pictures and stats are often the most important things for OLD. But the profile can sometimes make a difference for me. A profile with a long list of rigid requirements can be a dealbreaker even though I matched those requirements. A negative profile with a woman complaining about her previous OLD experiences or men in general can be a dealbreaker. A woman having interests or beliefs that are vastly different than mine can also be a dealbreaker.


I'd say the guy's pic is 10% for the women and 70% is the profile contents and 20% is the initial message.

I disagree. Whenever I got more emails, it was often right after I added new and better pictures of myself. The content of the profile may matter. But it's third behind pictures and stats. The initial message is the least important item. I used different types of email messages and it didn't impact my results. Many women probably won't read the email if they don't like the pictures and/or stats.
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 123
hey, don't knock the knockers
Posted: 6/17/2018 10:04:35 AM
Many people may not read the profile. However whenever I'm browsing, I have seen men with good pictures. But sometimes there were things written in the profile that were turn offs to me.


Posting shirtless pics works when you're in good shape. This nonsensical claim means nothing.


IMO they can be tacky when a man is flexing in front of a mirror. They can be good in a natural setting. Like a beach. If he has a nice body. Women are not monolithic. Some won't like shirtless pictures. Others will or at least won't be completely turned off by them in the situation that I described.
hey, don't knock the knockers
Posted: 6/17/2018 1:01:46 PM
Woman say they don't want to see a guy's shirtless pictures but most men won't complain about seeing a woman in a sexy top/bikini. The same goes for pictures sent through text. Most women I've talked to say they aren't interested in d*ck pics. Men are happy to receive topless pics.

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, I love boobs! So I definitely notice when a woman is showing cleavage and I am more likely to click on her profile. But there is a limit. If most of her photos are featuring her boobs, then I think she's trying to hard to rely on her looks to sell herself. I think the downside of a woman's profile with great cleavage pics is a lot of other guys think the same way I do so she's probably overwhelmed with messages so mine will just be another of the hundreds she's receiving and it most likely won't be read because there is only so much time in a day. Some of those messages will be from guys who truly want to get to know her and others will be from guys who think she looks fun for a night or three. They just want to play with them and get laid.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 125
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hey, don't knock the knockers
Posted: 6/17/2018 1:39:36 PM

IMO they can be tacky when a man is flexing in front of a mirror.

Sure, like any photo -- shirtless or not. EX: Insert a duck face on a guy, and it's going to generally not be such good results. :)

But in the end, I agree with the statement that you were quoting/responding to -- generally speaking, it works when you're in good shape, and backfires when you're not. How women (negatively) feel about it by what they claim is inaccurate, when the rubber meats the road -- as OKC has shown.

It's just another example of the dating scene: Just because guys or gals say they like or dislike X, and X is something that carries judgement, don't take their collective word for it.
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