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When I said it works better for women in their 40s I wasn't dissing anyone. By that age men are more mature about things.
I once spent a lot of time around guys, way too much time in my opinion. To them I was just another guy I think because they would say so many things about women and I would be inwardly thinking wow guys sure are jerks. I'm not sure if it was just because they were together and saying stuff but some of that stuff has sure stuck in my head. There was this one friend of mine who really liked this girl and he used to say things about her to his buddies. Well she came and asked him out and he laughed right in her face, his buddies nearby. Another guy asked him why he wouldn't go out with her because he liked her and he responded "because she's too desperate". That wasn't the last time I saw something like that play out. I think the guys just felt like by not being the one to ask the girl out, that they felt part of their manhood was taken away or something. The guy wants to say "I chose you" and not the other way around.
correct me if I'm wrong....but when you were spending this time with guys....it was when you were in high school/college time?? there is a huge difference between a "boy" and a "man".... and I don't know one "man" that has ever said a woman was "too desperate" because she did the asking....and I am around a lot of adult men where I volunteer at the local Veterans Association....and yes, I hear more than I care for too!
I also have 2 "boys" in my life....age 19 & 20....both are good looking li'l shits....and they are bombarded with female attention online and off....and neither have ever uttered those words about a girl trying to hook up with them....
You're right. They were younger guys. But I still know 30-something men with zero maturity. I do know that the culture in Saskatchewan does seem to be more oldfashioned and guys are not the same everywhere. Much like the rural South and New York City are very different culturally in the States.
I don't know one "man" that has ever said a woman was "too desperate" because she did the asking
She's only "too desperate" or any other negative adjective if the man isn't into her. This has been covered extensively on this forum as well. Two people can behave the exact same way but their behavior may be perceived differently depending on how you feel about them.