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 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 51
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Rule 34 = If it exists, there is a fetish for it.
 Tyro327
Joined: 4/5/2018
Msg: 52
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/10/2018 6:58:29 PM
Basilisk they are there for a reason you don't talk about fight club.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 53
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/11/2018 9:20:48 AM
I've won a tshirt off a fetish site last week, can't wait to get it then take pics and put one on here. :D
 nba24
Joined: 4/11/2013
Msg: 54
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/13/2018 10:11:19 PM
Julystorm7 i have heard multiple times that with online dating that there are way more men than women and i dont get it. The world wide population is like 51-49% in favor of women so you would think online dating would be the same. So are women like not has desperate or dont care about being single has much has men or something? Why are women not using online dating has often has men? Really it does not make sense at all. I am not sure why more women would be overweight or obese then men. Yeah women in the 30's may have had babies but there are some women that have not had kids and even if they had that dont mean they are going to be overweight/obese. I mean i am sure there are a solid amount of women in the world that have had kids and been able to lose a good amount of that weight and in general getting older no matter if you are a guy or women it is harder and harder to keep weight off has you are suppose to eat less calories has you get older but your appetite dont really decrease along with age to help compensate for that and it gets harder to build muscle has you get older to. You see a lot of guys has they get older that start to get more of a gut than when they where younger.

While about body type i see all the time women with guys who are like bigger fatter then them and like much worse looking than them and the opposite to so i dont think you can really say that some one who is like skinning is not going to be interested in some one that is a little over weight.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 55
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/13/2018 11:53:24 PM
In real life, it happens a lot what you say but the online dating environment is a bit different. I'm not sure why there's way more men online dating than women but there are. And every so often I take a look at the other women in my area to check out the competition and what I've seen is a majority of women who are either single mothers or overweight or both.

Are there a ton of women who have taken themselves out of the dating pool? I think not but many won't come online or have and got scared away by the zillions of sex-crazed men who inundate them with messages. And women do seem on average less sex-crazed so that's another factor. Men tend to have much higher sex drives on average so maybe they are that much more desperate for sex.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 56
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/14/2018 12:30:22 AM
I think it is just easier for women to get dates outside of an online environment.
Men, not so much.
There is a higher portion of men that are like me. Men who are just societal leftovers. Men were not created to be around very long. We were made to be disposable commodities that protect villages, fight wars, and hunt game. Males did not know if they were going to be alive for another season, so they had to plant their seeds as soon as possible. Now that there are less threats, there are more leftover males who do not have a purpose. We still feel the drive to reproduce, but we have nothing to offer. Women almost always have something to offer. That is why they get taken up at a higher rate than men, and at the same time they have to be more discerning because they carry all the biological risks of child birth. They are wired to only go after the best of the best. No one said life was fair. Life can often be a huge ***hole.


Disclaimer: I also realize that my self-deprecation could just be the fact that it is late night and I feel like shit, but whatever. I am too depressed and lazy to fix it right now.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 57
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/14/2018 4:30:57 AM
You could rule out a lot of the men in online dating because they aren't even free to be dating. Loads are in relationships and after a bit on the side, one night stands, or just some kik/dirty chat.

Dating is hard anyway, maybe harder online because you have to be more sociable and open to speaking to people who you have no idea what to talk to them about really and expect to click from that and want to meet.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 58
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/14/2018 4:31:23 AM
^^^

There is a higher portion of men that are like me. Men who are just societal leftovers.

that's the second time on the forums in the past month I've seen a man refer to himself as a "leftover." I understand the concept but your argument about it is unrealistic.


Men were not created to be around very long. We were made to be disposable commodities that protect villages, fight wars, and hunt game.

Created? You are talking about the development of civilization through history and what eventually became societal norm up until the 1950's. Men worked and women stayed home to raise the children due to the fact it was the way society, men and women saw it. This no longer applies in today's society. None of this applies in today's society.


Males did not know if they were going to be alive for another season, so they had to plant their seeds as soon as possible.

Which was only possible through marriage since religion played such a big part in the past up until maybe the 1960's. After all an unchaste woman would become an outcast if she had sex outside of marriage. Men of course were considered conquerors. Even today in some countries a woman may be executed for having sex outside of marriage or committing adultery.

In today's world a man plants his seed because he's horny and will tell a woman anything it takes to get laid. Think "Paradise by the Dashboard Light." Afterwards he is not obligated to take responsibility for the child which may result because of the change in society's view of relationships.


Women almost always have something to offer. That is why they get taken up at a higher rate than men, and at the same time they have to be more discerning because they carry all the biological risks of child birth. They are wired to only go after the best of the best.

Best of the best? Considering the number of young single mothers that statement doesn't even remotely apply. All it takes is a young horny man to say the right things and voila, his sexual need is satisfied. "The best of the best can turn out to be "the best of the worst." In the past marriage was required for this, not any more. In my time it was called the three f's. Find 'em, Fuck 'em, Forget 'em.


Disclaimer: I also realize that my self-deprecation could just be the fact that it is late night and I feel like shit, but whatever. I am too depressed and lazy to fix it right now.

Why would you say your opinion is clouded by your depression. To me it's based on your view of society, just in different way than mine. Your illness is more difficult for a woman to overlook. However from reading your posts I would consider you the best of the depressed. Has your illness affected your ability to communicate with women you are attracted too?
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 59
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/14/2018 10:01:40 AM
"that's the second time on the forums in the past month I've seen a man refer to himself as a "leftover." I understand the concept but your argument about it is unrealistic."-_rise_above_this_

Probably. I wasn't able to sleep last night, and I still can't sleep. Yay, insomnia!


"...This no longer applies in today's society. None of this applies in today's society." "In today's world a man plants his seed because he's horny and will tell a woman anything it takes to get laid."-_rise_above_this_


I was talking evolutionary wise. Humans now are almost identical, biologically speaking, to what we were tens of thousands of years ago. The only thing that changed is our society, not our wiring. We still have in-built instincts that compels us to want to pass on our genes as soon as possible.

"Best of the best? Considering the number of young single mothers that statement doesn't even remotely apply. All it takes is a young horny man to say the right things and voila, his sexual need is satisfied. "The best of the best can turn out to be "the best of the worst." In the past marriage was required for this, not any more. In my time it was called the three f's. Find 'em, **** 'em, Forget 'em."-_rise_above_this_

I never said women can't make mistakes when choosing their mates. In my experience, women put more thought into their mates than men, that is what I was trying to say. They instinctively want the best mate they can find. As said before, they carry most of the risk. Sometimes they choose poorly. They are still human.


"Why would you say your opinion is clouded by your depression. To me it's based on your view of society, just in different way than mine. Your illness is more difficult for a woman to overlook. However from reading your posts I would consider you the best of the depressed. Has your illness affected your ability to communicate with women you are attracted too?"-_rise_above_this_


Oh, you have no idea. It is like having a shock collar on at all times. Except instead of electricity, it randomly inserts crippling suicidal thoughts into your head. All you can think of for hours on end is how much you want to die. It is kind of hard to talk to women when all you can think about is shoving a blade into your gut or gassing yourself with carbon monoxide.
I try to not let the fact that women don't like me bother me too much. At least I know that my face is kind of cute, because I got views pretty often from non-bot profiles, despite the fact I am really out of shape. It is just when I open my mouth, that they turn totally uninterested. Sorry, I am not Don Juan. I don't have the perfect witty romantic poem to recite for every occasion. I get tongue tied when a pretty girl smiles at me. I will randomly walk into a wall or a door frames if I smell nice perfume unexpectedly. I accidently asked a woman out once when all I wanted to do was ask about the price of her painting (She was terrified. It was very awkward afterwards). This is me. It sucks being me.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 60
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/14/2018 12:23:04 PM
Yes I know you meant the evolutionary process but it doesn't apply these days. Young men aren't looking to plant their seeds these days, they're looking to satisfy their sexual desires.


I never said women can't make mistakes when choosing their mates. In my experience, women put more thought into their mates than men, that is what I was trying to say

Do you think all these teenage girls going through puberty are putting more thought into choosing a man. To carry it further roughly 50% of people who chose their mates end up divorced. Some of those women probably put a lot of thought into getting married. Then there's failed relationships.

I was tongue tied when puberty started to kick my ass but I learned to overcome it later in life. Yes for some men it is difficult when attracted to a woman and some never overcome this. I have no advice to offer you about this since I really don't know how I did. "Oh, you have no idea." Actually I do. I'm sure your insomnia will pass as it always does since I'm pretty sure you've suffered it most of your life and because of this you deal with it quite well up to a point.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 61
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/14/2018 12:46:19 PM
Basil, don't go gasing yourself or anything else. When you don't get enough sleep, life looks worse and it's harder to deal with. Being tired makes a person unmotivated, adding on to the lack of motivation from depression. Find a passion and pursue it to make life more rewarding. Do a little something every day that will give you a sense of accomplishment and make endorphins kick in. You're already doing a lot with your continued education.

Men generally seem to avoid doctors, but if you're feeling that bad, it's time to seek medical intervention by seeing someone for your depression. It's best to avoid meds if you can because of side effects, one being weight gain. Life seems bad when you're depressed, but you have to know it's just your brain chemistry doing that to you. By choosing life, you never know what good may come to you in your future.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 62
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/14/2018 3:00:33 PM
Go find something to do that's more entertaining than women. I have, and enjoy it whenever possible. Never for a moment have I ever thought about cutting my life short for any reason. To jump off a bridge, or any way to do yourself in just because of women, is a pretty dumb reason for doing it.

Being married for 23 years, I couldn't count how many times I said to myself- "Why the hell did I get married?" She got in the way of too many fun things I could have been doing, if I was still single. What's worse, is that if I hadn't, I'd have been retired by now. I did, that didn't and I'm now still at work. You gotta counteract having a female in your life for something more worthwhile.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 63
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/14/2018 7:22:13 PM
I have a long time fb friend that wants to off himself, because he can't get a date. He does have a health issue with not being able to grow facial hair and thinks that's why he's dateless and 37. From years of knowing him, I can clearly see it's his attitude. He just lost a great job after talking to a work colleague about her body parts. Then he tells me after messaging women with no response, he went back and gave them a 2nd "misogynist" message to see if they'd respond. Those are his words.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 64
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/15/2018 5:20:37 AM
nothing breeds success, like success. Attractive people have an easier time of asking people out, b/c they get better responses. Its simple lab-rat science--if pleasure brings pain, most eventually pass on pleasure to avoid pain. as Purple pointed out, if you can find alternate sources of pleasure in life, go for them. Sometimes our passion shows thru to someone who is attracted to that, and they come on to us. I asked out a lot of women in my life, being told it would bring me success, yet the only gfs I ever had were the ones who hit on me.

But if you can't find alternate sources of pleasure, then NY is right, its time to talk to a doc to find out what's up. I've known people who went on meds for whatever problem they had, and wondered why they hadn't done it sooner to enjoy life. Not that there's a "pill for every ill", but there's room in life for good experimentation :) Sometimes our problems can be solved, we should try to find out if that's the case.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 65
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/15/2018 8:20:20 AM
NY58 - As his friend, have you told him that it's his attitude?
Because, really, a lot of people are not into self-reflection and finding out how they can change their portion of the world.

"Look, Joe. I'm just a friend but I gotta say it's not your face - it's your attitude. It sucks. That's probably why you got fired - harassing someone at work during work hours. That's not even a good idea off work or in the grocery store. You think of women as something to fill your need as if you were the center of the universe. Little boy, grow up."

He might believe you since you're female and privy to a woman's mentality.

Or maybe not.
 winfieldbrian
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 66
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/15/2018 1:56:40 PM
The women on POF who have been attracted to me have been women who outweigh me. I can handle that, although I wish I'd get responses from women closer to average size. It's when they think they look like 21 year old Playboy centerfolds and treat you like they're doing you a favor by just meeting them are not women that I'm attracted to.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 67
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/15/2018 3:33:31 PM
2ufo, I did say things and try to put it in a nice way since he's suicidal. He's probably pretty set in his ways at his age, and believes what he believes, regardless of what I say. I asked why he has no friends, he said they're all aholes and abusers. He wants to move away from the oppressive weather in the Dakotas. He's got a lot going on. I told him he's got to make plans for everything, finding a job, finding new friends and moving.

Since he's fired, he can't get meds for the tumor he has that keeps him from growing facial hair, that he's hoping meds will shrink.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 68
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/15/2018 4:34:59 PM

They are wired to only go after the best of the best.


Methinks there is a lot of short-circuiting going on.
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/16/2018 4:13:18 AM
IgorFrankensteen:

it is actually very RARE that guys use LOGIC to decide who a good match would be, before making contact


But the ones who actually do think and calculate things, might look less for compatibility, and more for susceptibility. That is, they write to anyone who they have the impression will give them a shot, rather than trying to noodle through whether or not it would make any sense at all to do so.

Hhmm...not for me. And I don't know if I'd say that this is RARE.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 70
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/16/2018 11:02:40 AM

2ufo, I did say things and try to put it in a nice way since he's suicidal.

Sometimes people don't hear things that are said in a nice way... but I'm not there.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 71
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/19/2018 5:29:52 AM
Expectations are disappointing and they are often negated by the expectations of others.

My laundry list of "unwants" won't guarantee I won't end up with the very traits in others I would like to avoid (well, maybe for the exception of a middle-aged cheapskate).
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 72
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/19/2018 9:44:12 PM
"Men generally seem to avoid doctors, but if you're feeling that bad, it's time to seek medical intervention by seeing someone for your depression. It's best to avoid meds if you can because of side effects, one being weight gain. Life seems bad when you're depressed, but you have to know it's just your brain chemistry doing that to you. By choosing life, you never know what good may come to you in your future. "- Newyorker58

Thanks, I am not going to kill myself anytime soon. There are still a few things I want to do. I did the doctor thing before. Yes it does help, but my insurance did not want to pay for the medication I needed. They only wanted to prescribe me downers. Giving downers to a guy who already has severe depression is not a good idea. Working out helps as well, but honestly I can't bring myself to do that again. I am always tired, and Houston weather sucks.
 Mercedes_Me
Joined: 5/3/2018
Msg: 73
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/20/2018 2:44:15 AM
The blind Association
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 74
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/20/2018 4:53:05 AM


There is a higher portion of men that are like me. Men who are just societal leftovers. Men were not created to be around very long. We were made to be disposable commodities that protect villages, fight wars, and hunt game. Males did not know if they were going to be alive for another season, so they had to plant their seeds as soon as possible. Now that there are less threats, there are more leftover males who do not have a purpose. We still feel the drive to reproduce, but we have nothing to offer. Women almost always have something to offer. That is why they get taken up at a higher rate than men, and at the same time they have to be more discerning because they carry all the biological risks of child birth. They are wired to only go after the best of the best. No one said life was fair. Life can often be a huge ***hole.



Your value as a human being is not determined by your ability to reproduce. You're not a leftover man, not in reality and not ever.

People prioritize eachother based on what they want and they refuse to see the person as a whole; they'll micromanage your worth by prioritizing stages of your life in segments, but don't allow this.

I think DBT can help you. Is there anybody in the Houston area that can provide this therapy on a slidiging scale fee or by community financial assistance?
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 75
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/20/2018 7:28:05 AM
Yes there are. I did it for awhile. They get expensive real quick however. I had to choose between doing those sessions and going to college. I chose college.
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