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 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 76
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Basil, I was concerned. Your posts made it sound like you were severely depressed, bordering on suicide. I'm glad you don't feel that way. Onward and upward ☺
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 77
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/20/2018 6:31:50 PM
A beautiful goddess of a woman would be attracted to me. She would have an hour glass figure, long, dark hair, green eyes, and sultry, red lips. She would be a freak in bed, a chef in the kitchen, a therapist during hard times, and a coach when I’m off my game.
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/21/2018 2:01:47 AM
You don't ask for much...hehe...
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 79
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/21/2018 4:51:37 AM

A beautiful goddess of a woman would be attracted to me. She would have an hour glass figure, long, dark hair, green eyes, and sultry, red lips. She would be a freak in bed, a chef in the kitchen, a therapist during hard times, and a coach when I’m off my game.


That seems to describe Kelly LeBrock's character in Weird Science.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 80
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/21/2018 11:56:38 PM
"Basil, I was concerned. Your posts made it sound like you were severely depressed, bordering on suicide. I'm glad you don't feel that way. Onward and upward ☺"- Newyorker58


Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that I was. I was just describing how it feels dealing with severe depression. I can get really depressed at night, but I haven't gotten that bad in a while. When I sound overly dramatic, I am usually really tired.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 81
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/22/2018 3:19:15 PM
I’ve spent a considerable amount of time studying this topic and it pretty much has to be broken down by type of OLD and the interaction type.

POF: 11 dreadful years of pure failure, but let’s talk about recent activity: Prior to using my current tricky headless jock-ish main thumbnail pic, I would go months without a view, much less a message, regardless of what pic I used for the thumbnail pic. Since I began using this one as an experiment almost a year ago (and btw, I still look exactly the same, maybe I weigh a pound or 2 less), I’ve gotten hundreds of views – a very diverse assortment of women, from their 20s to their 50s, from the inner city to the rural outlands, from thin as a rail to the size of houses, pretty much in proportion to their ethnic makeup of the market (vast majority white, maybe 20% Hispanics and 10% blacks, handful of Asians), from the “poorly educated” to doctorate degrees, from country to urban, from sea to shining sea. Seriously, if you just run a random search with every attribute selected, that’s what my “Viewed Me” pages look like these days. I’m guessing this means every type of woman is attracted to muscular, tannish headless men.

However, my “they made contact first” history is much sparser and less diverse. There are about 9 of them (so one every 6 weeks or so), half of them black (very dark black), over half of them very overweight (including all of the white ones except one), none of them with higher educations than high school, all of them either unemployed or with questionable occupations, all of them with terrible writing skills, none of them with a thing in common with me.

So what am I to make of this? I think what women are contacting me is somewhat meaningless, in the sense that these women are probably the bottom 1% of women on the site, so they aren’t getting very many messages, and they have to behave like most men in order to have any interactions, that is, the old carpet bombing strategy, as their messages to me would indicate: “What’s up?” “Hey there” “Hello.” So not only am I getting these messages, but so are hundreds of other guys that are much more (and maybe even some that are much less) attractive. It’s far more important who is NOT messaging me: women in the top 99%. Women I would find remotely attractive. Women I have anything in common with. And a whole bunch of such women are now in my “Viewed Me” list, but decided not to message me, undoubtedly attracted to the muscles but then saw my face, my ethnicity, my height, maybe even what I wrote and got turned off. (So far almost no luck messaging these “Viewed Me” women and getting responses, just in case they were attracted but “shy”). So in the end, this pretty much says exactly what I’ve been saying in these forums for 11 years: if I am only getting messages from the bottom 1% of women, then I must be in the bottom 1% of men. BTW, most of the women contacting me are my height or an inch or so less – no really short women, strangely. And most of my unsolicited views are my height or shorter, so POF is keeping tall women away from me (or the women themselves are doing it with advanced search).

Bumble: I’ve only been on it since the beginning of 2018 and have had very few matches despite swiping right on the vast majority of women that show up in my feed, yet I have reason to suspect that a disproportionate number of women I swiped left on probably swiped right on me, therefore my results are skewed toward my own attractions (same is true on Tinder). That said, I can almost always tell who I’m going to match with because it’s usually the woman during a session that I’m like “Eh, she’s not the WORST I’ve ever come across – guess I’ll swipe right since I’m desperate.” Most are overweight (but not usually obese or I wouldn’t have swiped right), have a bunch of kids, weak communication skills and have nothing in common with me, and most annoying, most live like in Orlando or Sarasota (this is much less a problem with Tinder – I could narrow the distance limits on Bumble, but I quickly run out of profiles if I make it very Tampa-centric). Because women go first on Bumble, most never even start a conversation. The two women I matched with that I was by far the most attracted to were not purposeful matches: each one of my female best friends decided to take control of my phone at some point and starting swiping right on everybody they thought was a good match for me, but neither of them paid any attention to the heights the women wrote in the information area, and I ended up matched with a pair of cute, well-educated 5’10”-ers in their 30s (one from each friend). Both wrote me enthusiastically about my movies and travels, and I ended up ghosting them because I didn’t want them to ghost me when I told them my height, because, quite frankly, I’m all full of rejection for my lifetime, thanks. I do feel bad about it, but it wasn’t my fault we got matched to begin with (I told those 2 to read the damn info area before swiping! Behaving just like men...). When I Bumble (or Tinder) on my own, I always swipe left on tall women, no matter how attractive and otherwise perfect for me they might be, because there’s just no point in wasting either of our time.

Tinder: 6 years under my belt here, but the results are very similar to Bumble, in that my rare matches usually come with women I only halfheartedly swiped right on, but I will say that my Tinder matches tend to be younger, slightly smarter and slightly more attractive, but also far less likely to write (including replying to my initial message). There are a lot more bots on Tinder than Bumble, and some of them are VERY good at messing with you.

Match: 20 years on and off, 1 single meeting. My response rate is almost identical to POF’s, but I probably get more unsolicited messages when I have an active membership on Match. And these women are almost identical to those identical to those initiating contact on POF, except in one way: they tend to be much more educated and have decent jobs, because, after all, not too many poor people on Match, where everyone has to pay to play. But still plenty of overweight ones I have nothing in common with. Though, note, the vast majority of women on Match don’t fall into that category. Just the ones actually messaging me.

Real Life: I don’t recall any age-appropriate single woman ever expressing any attraction toward me (including flirting). At least, not in the last decade. Most of the non-age appropriate single women or age-appropriate non-single women who have done so were quite attractive and had a good number of common interests. But unavailable or inappropriate.

Of course, this is what has happened to me in actual practice and now I pretty much think that’s what would be attracted to me. But before I started really researching this and thinking it out? I assumed my “female equivalent” would be a short, dignified, intelligent, analytical, creative, athletic, educated, professional woman, but no such age-appropriate single woman has ever expressed attraction toward me in real life, and very rarely on OLD, unless it was like Tinder/Bumble/HotOrNot and she didn’t know my height before contacting me. I definitely had a much more idealistic view of who might find me attractive when I was younger. At this point in my life (11 years dateless), I’ll pretty much date anyone that I find attractive not to date that’s willing to date me, regardless of what she’s like and realize that figuring out who finds me attractive among women I find attractive is like trying to guess the MegaMillions number, so might as well keep buying every number combination until I will something (with me, likely "my money back”).
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 82
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 12:55:00 AM
Thanks for the detailed reply @HawkingJr

I do think a woman being 6 inches taller is a lot but it's a shame you found people you really connected with and this stopped you from continuing further. From experience in my circles i know most tall women do prefer tall guys but not all of them do.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 83
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 5:55:09 AM
You have been moaning about your heaight hindering your chances at the hotties you prefer, for years. When an overweight woman is available, it's not an opportunity at all, even though it is...and it's back to old "woe is me my height sucks and so do the people who won't automatically accept me."

Give me a break.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 84
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 7:22:49 AM
HawkingJr if I were older and in your area, I would have been so bold to slide in those DMs ;-)
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 85
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 8:17:02 AM

You have been moaning about your heaight hindering your chances at the hotties you prefer, for years. When an overweight woman is available, it's not an opportunity at all, even though it is...and it's back to old "woe is me my height sucks and so do the people who won't automatically accept me."

Give me a break.


I don’t see any correlation between height and weight. An overweight woman would have a difficult time keeping up with an athletic, shorter man. What’s the point if you can’t do activities together?
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 86
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 8:50:04 AM

I don’t see any correlation between height and weight. An overweight woman would have a difficult time keeping up with an athletic, shorter man. What’s the point if you can’t do activities together?


I could say the same thing about overweight person keeping pace with a small person are you like making sh!t up as you go? You know speed has and ability is stamina and length of legs not actual physical appearance. Nobody is stupid enough to say overweight can't do activities where did you get your information from exactly?

"But can women who are packing an extra 25, 50, or even 75 pounds on their frame actually kick ass athletically? "They might pay a price when it comes to speed," says Chuck Hobbs, the head coach for Fit2Train, a triathlon team in Dallas. But in terms of strength and endurance, the answer is, hell, yes. Consider the group of athletes recruited for a recent study at the Institute for Exercise and Environmental Medicine at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital of Dallas. All of them are seriously accomplished, having participated in multiple Ironman competitions, marathons, or distance cycling events. And all of them are obese, with fat making up more than 30 percent of their body weight. "From a cardiorespiratory standpoint, they are very strong and very healthy," says the study's lead author, Santiago Lorenzo, PhD, a cardiopulmonary researcher at the institute. "They have outstanding endurance and are comparable in fitness to fellow athletes of normal weight.""
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 87
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 8:58:34 AM

I don’t see any correlation between height and weight. An overweight woman would have a difficult time keeping up with an athletic, shorter man. What’s the point if you can’t do activities together?


Where the hell did I make such a correlation?

I do know that a bad attitude and blaming everybody else for dating woes you're responsible for equals nil when you're trying to score a serious date.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 88
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 9:36:30 AM

I could say the same thing about overweight person keeping pace with a small person are you like making sh!t up as you go? You know speed has and ability is stamina and length of legs not actual physical appearance. Nobody is stupid enough to say overweight can't do activities where did you get your information from exactly?


I said an athletic, short person. Anyone with an athletic build is likely to have more speed and stamina than an overweight person. It’s basic biology.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 89
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 9:57:18 AM
Rose77, I think it really depends on the individual, how overweight they are, and how the extra weight is distributed. Probably many other factors as well. I used to do half marathons and there were lots of overweight men and women doing the same and a fair number doing the whole marathon. I saw many people who were a good forty pounds overweight. There were also some who were in the sixty pound overweight range. Were they getting the top times? No, they weren't. But many had pretty reasonable times so it really depends on what 'keeping up' is considered.
Hawking, although you have years of being rejected because of your height, I still think you should not be taking yourself out of the race because you assume all people are going to treat you the same way. The day before yesterday I saw a woman coupled with a man. She was tall (maybe 5, 9), had a beautiful face and beautiful long dark hair. She had a slight muffin top but was no more than 15 pounds overweight. He was not what I would have expected to see on her arm. He had a huge stomach, an unkempt beard, an unattractive face by most standards and was shorter that n I. Do I see that all the time? No, but I see it once in a while and you only need it to happen once. Honestly, I get the frustration, but, good things are still possible, Hawking. Just my two cents.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 90
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 10:03:57 AM
And Hawking, oh my gosh, I did not mean the imply that you were anything like that guy!! You're far from it. I'm just trying to point out that height is not always an issue. So sorry I didn't make that clear in my original message.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 91
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/23/2018 1:37:56 PM
Hawking, I believe you live in FL, where there's no shortage of short women, mostly being Spanish. If you can't find a date in that environment, it's time for you to start thinking it's about you, what you say, your attitude, or whatever it is that's standing in your way. For very short women, how many fit guys do they have to choose from? You should be seeing yourself as a hot commodity.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 92
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/24/2018 9:09:22 AM
Women have no shortage of admirers, no matter what their looks or status.

I've used forums where the intention seemed to be to get with other people and some of the fawning was embarrassing but it went to just about every type of woman going; old, married, pregnant, poor, single parent, the conventionally considered ugly, short, tall, saggy, fat, obese, morbidly obese, slim was the least popular actually but it may be because they were not using the forums and were busy meeting people. Physically disabled people tended to be overlooked (from both genders) and not fawned upon unless really young or hot with that.

Pretty much was gym fit guys who got responses back from the women though, and of course the over 6ft guys. New to the forum guys could get good responses immediately if they were either of the above and most other new guys people were wary of or didn't feel the urge to fawn back and got ignored. And for a site where the people said they were sociable and more interested in socialising it really didn't seem so as most of the the conventionally considered ugly men were ignored despite being able to socialise really well or it took them months to 'fit in' and even then nobody was attracted to them nor flirted with them ...oh, almost forgot unless they had money or something to offer, seems that is attractive too.

Anyway i was only supposed to be mentioning that all women are pretty much attractive to some guys, whereas it seems not so much the other way round.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 93
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/24/2018 2:26:11 PM
I pretty much answer all messages i receive-i also solicit men i am interested in-I do not pretend to know who or why "certain men are interested" aware we all take risks when expressing interest- initial contact can fizzle for whatever reasons-Yet often surprised of those who are interested-i am not sure if they read my profile or not- and a few uber christians, uber conservatives (some bigots andmysoginist) have solicited me initiated seemingly innocuous conversations through e- media- the resulting phone conversations were epic failures! In effort to dissuade this I attempt through my e- media conversations to discover as early as possible these "irreconcilable differences". In some cases "You are way too out there for me" message is indeed a relief...
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 94
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/24/2018 4:36:57 PM
Hawking, I've been reading your posts on and off for the past five years.

At some point, are you going to cut bait and run? Good god man, start looking at at this objectively. Women at not all what they're cracked upto be. Just for a minute, think about going somewhere. You don't have to ask permission. There is no debate over where you're going. All you have to do, is grab your keys and go.

Food. What suits you at the moment? If you had someone else, you might be going to eat some Indian glop, instead of having that Porterhouse your mouth was all set for. What did you have on the tube last night? Something interesting? Or did you have to watch Meg Ryan slowly croak because she had a "Woman's disease?", because she wanted to watch it and cry over half of it?

Is what you bought from the local Grocer-rama still there in the fridge? Or did you have someone else in your house help themselves to it all? Is your favorite chair still there? Or did it get tossed because it looked tacky, and didn't fit her idea of the latest furniture fashion?

Start enjoying what you do have. Forget about what you can't have. Is it really worth getting eaten up over?
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 95
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/24/2018 4:40:03 PM

For very short women, how many fit guys do they have to choose from? You should be seeing yourself as a hot commodity.


If I were young n single & met Hawking, I woulda jumped all over him like a hot tamale
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 96
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/25/2018 8:52:30 AM
At some point, are you going to cut bait and run? Good god man, start looking at at this objectively. Women at not all what they're cracked upto be. Just for a minute, think about going somewhere. You don't have to ask permission. There is no debate over where you're going. All you have to do, is grab your keys and go."

>>>I was going to say, it was a matter of age--but HJ is 40, past the age of mellowing like fine booze. I can say, when I was surrounded by attractive women at work, what I was missing out on, was right in my face. Now its not. Out of face, out of mind. Tho I can still go to events like last night, and think of who I know and how much they would have enjoyed this event had they come here with me.

there are times we may over-think things, and the rest of the time....life is easier if we think before we do. Dating after college falls into that middle ground--we have to be honest with ourselves or we chase our tails around.

I won't say that HJ dwells on this 24/7/365. I also won't say that i'm so happy to not get laid b/c I cut down on visits to the grocer. I will take a boring moment to state the obvious...a bachelor content with the small things in his life, may look more appealing than the horny buck with his head on a swivel and a timer going off in his head. Or so the attractive people keep selling me, attitude is everything :)
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 97
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/25/2018 9:00:39 AM
Hawking, your biggest issue is basing your self-worth on a woman's opinion of you. Reading your posts is all one has to do to come to that conclusion. When guys do this, they act inferior, and *that* is what kills it for them. Their body language, attitude, and the way they communicate all scream "inferiority". It's about as subtle as a kick in the balls.

Having met you, I know you're capable of socializing and carrying a conversation, but you just have to extend this beyond people you know and initiate it with those you don't. I'll also say it for the ten billionth time - hit the dance floor.

Find a place near the beach that might have an outdoor DJ/dance floor. Wear as little clothing as you can get away with. (except Speedos, though. don't go there)

Fuck modesty. Fuck modesty right in its ass. You know what it gets you? People complimenting you on your modesty. Big whoop.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 98
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/25/2018 11:56:35 AM
I read most of your post Hawkings....but I have a headache right now.
If I read correctly...You're basing your lack of success because of the quality of women.. that contact you.
Do you ever try and message anyone you like? Men/women that succeed on here...are always saying it's a numbers game.
Or have you thrown in the towel..perse'

Pig is right(I'll use my words)...Once you have ok'd your own defeatist attitude....you will not find anyone.
Some women may be...intimated by you.
Muscles...brains....worldly....jmo.
 blackbeauty744
Joined: 12/1/2015
Msg: 99
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/25/2018 2:03:07 PM

except Speedos, though. don't go there


BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 100
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/26/2018 7:14:36 PM
Hawking wrote:
However, my “they made contact first” history is much sparser and less diverse. There are about 9 of them (so one every 6 weeks or so), half of them black (very dark black), over half of them very overweight (including all of the white ones except one), none of them with higher educations than high school, all of them either unemployed or with questionable occupations, all of them with terrible writing skills, none of them with a thing in common with me.
So the way I read this is, is a laundry list of "undesirable." Sounds like "very dark black" is undesirable. This comment is curious, coming from a man of color.

I'm not totally familiar with your history Hawking, but are you looking to date exclusively white women? If so, could that be part of your problem? Narrowing down the field? Narrowing things down to any particular race will make it tougher, even though whites constitute more likely single women given our current population %. And the fact is, most people still prefer their own race. At least from what I see out there.
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