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 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 101
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Purplerider wrote:
If you had someone else, you might be going to eat some Indian glop, instead of having that Porterhouse your mouth was all set for. What did you have on the tube last night? Something interesting? Or did you have to watch Meg Ryan slowly croak because she had a "Woman's disease?", because she wanted to watch it and cry over half of it?

Is what you bought from the local Grocer-rama still there in the fridge? Or did you have someone else in your house help themselves to it all? Is your favorite chair still there? Or did it get tossed because it looked tacky, and didn't fit her idea of the latest furniture fashion?
I can't figure out if you are trying to be funny, or serious when you write these things. But they are funny. I still think you're missing your true talent, Purple - penning country music songs. A little polish and rearrangment of these phrases, title it "Porterhouses, Meg Ryan, and Indian Glop," peddle it to some struggling CW singer, and you gotta hit there. I see another song in your future..."Gimme my Goldwing, F*ck the Gold Ring."

Then women will be coming out of the woodwork to be with you. And of course, then, like so many other artists, the core angst that fuels your writing edge will be gone. But it won't matter then, you'll be rich and have any woman you want, on your own terms, without the Indian glop.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 102
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/26/2018 7:47:53 PM
YAWN-- Hawkings you seem to have monopolized this forum- lol so mad skills!! Rock on
Good thing Purple saved the day PR- you can be very humorous
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 103
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/27/2018 5:32:16 PM

I don’t see any correlation between height and weight.

There is, as far as looks are concerned. Someone who's notably short has less room for err on level of extra "flub". Someone notably tall has more room than your average Joe. And once a guy's not short -- his body type isn't as picky/important as girls'. Hawking doesn't have this problem. He has a notably Good body type which scores him points in the looks range. But it's more something a single guy Has to do when he's Hawking's height and wants some luck. The unfortunate thing is -- Pig is right: Hawking's mentality & how he carries things out is shooting himself in the foot.

However, my “they made contact first” history is much sparser and less diverse. There are about 9 of them (so one every 6 weeks or so), half of them black (very dark black), over half of them very overweight (including all of the white ones except one), none of them with higher educations than high school, all of them either unemployed or with questionable occupations, all of them with terrible writing skills, none of them with a thing in common with me.

Hawking: That's not So bad, actually. On POF especially, a guy can't expect to have girls write him unless he's universally seen in the Top 2-5% in looks (+without glaring bad stuff in his profile). Your somewhat-above-average Joe and less cannot rely on girls writing him or use it as a litmus test.

It's very likely that if you were 5'11", you'd still be running into a lot of problems and ticked about the dating scene (but obviously less of an uphill battle To get some good luck coming your way despite your internal POV/mentality/actions).

As I've always said, you have to change things up. You have to tell your comfort zone to f-off. Not to only hang out with your female friends at the bar/social scene (especially Without utilizing them as leverage which a good female friend will be happy to do for their single guy friend). You have to tell your habits and your POV to sit on the bench and just take a totally different approach -- which will require, again, telling your comfort-zone to f-off. And to be Content being rejected. IMO, for this to Actually happen, it'd require openness to doing so + a solid wing-man to help guide you IRL thru a summer or whatnot, to become comfortable in a total change of things -- and seeing the light. :)
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 104
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/28/2018 12:21:52 PM

Pig is right


This should be my next username. I bet it was excruciating for you to type that.

But yes, the best of looks can be tarnished with a shit attitude, poor body language and how one carries themselves overall. I hated going through the religious indoctrination process in Catholic school, but I am definitely thankful for the other things they instilled in us. We were taught how to walk, talk, sit, stand, shake hands, etc. Anything less than a projection of confidence was not tolerated.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 105
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/29/2018 3:36:03 PM
“YAWN-- Hawkings you seem to have monopolized this forum- lol so mad skills!!”

Especially considering I have made only 2 posts in the “Relationships” forum in the past year and just one in this thread before this one, over a week ago. That takes some “mad skills” indeed.

It’s odd no one ever says “You seem to have monopolized the Off Topics forum” even though I sometimes post in that forum up to dozens of times a week (almost entirely about Trump), though not much lately because I’ve been too busy. Or bored with the responses due to the massive loss of controversial poster “lives” lately. It’s very difficult to debate when there’s almost no one (reasonably intelligent) left to debate with.

Anyway, I had like a million things to respond to here and was going to break this up into multiple posts, but screw it: I’ll at least do you the favor of saying who I am responding to so you can just seek out your name if you don’t want to read this whole thing:

***

*feirene (and to some extent *curvylady1965) “I do think a woman being 6 inches taller is a lot but it's a shame you found people you really connected with and this stopped you from continuing further. From experience in my circles i know most tall women do prefer tall guys but not all of them do.”

There are a couple of unwritten rules on Tinder/Bumble: if a tall woman includes her height in her profile, it’s to discourage shorter men from connecting with her (you aren’t allowed enough characters to waste them actually spelling that out: please nobody shorter than me contact me, and, oh crap, I just used up half my profile allowance writ--); corollary: if a man does NOT include his height in his profile, he’s either short or a tall idiot for not including such a sought-after characteristic, neither of which is usually worth connecting with. Frankly, I don’t have a problem with dating a taller woman but women who’re willing to date “low” without the guy being rich and famous are as rare as two-headed dogs and I’m considerate enough not to waste women’s time unnecessarily so might as well nip those issues in the bud as quickly as possible, which usually means not even swiping right in such cases, but like I said, my friends got me in a pickle.

NOW on occasion I swipe right on a woman who doesn’t mention her height and whose height is not apparent from her pictures and end up with a match and discover after communicating with her that she’s taller than me... but if heights come up in those circumstances, that usually means SHE is the one that is asking ME about my height, so at that point I’m usually screwed anyway. I have never actually made it all the way to a meeting without at least warning a woman about my height if I suspect she's not short. But 2 years ago there was the infamous case on Tinder of a woman with no height listed seeming very enthused about me over the course of a couple of weeks, us setting up a meeting, then a couple hours before the meeting she sent me a text out of nowhere asking how tall I was, me responding with my height and then her standing me up and me never hearing from her again. Like I said, I’m full on rejection, thanks.

Point is, I am not going to purposefully put either myself or the woman in such a situation, but occasionally it happens accidentally, though arguably I could prevent it from happening by putting my height in my profile, but that would also lead to short women not swiping right, even though they might be willing to date short men in real life situations, but online seeing the height spelled out makes them squeamish (this is a true phenomenon – several women have even mentioned themselves being like that in the forums over the years). Anyway, yeah, once in a blue moon I come across a taller woman/shorter man couple and it seems unlikely the guy is rich and famous, and to be fair most of the women I’ve had dates with have been at least an inch or 2 (or 3) taller, but all those women were also very young (and it was a long time ago) – young women have a much more open mind when it comes to dating because they haven’t had a bunch of bad experiences yet with a bunch of different types of men they then write off forever, or a bunch of positive experiences with men nothing like me that they decide are the only types for them. I would tell you my #1 mistake was not marrying one of those young women 15-20 years ago, but marrying any of those women would have been a BAD idea for reasons unrelated to height.

(I will also say, as I have so many times, any woman who claims to have a PREFERENCE for short men [as opposed to not caring or just willing to make an exception for some of them] is clearly insane -- I wouldn't want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member.)

*blackbeauty744 / BLONDE_ANGEL_1 “HawkingJr if I were older and in your area, I would have been so bold to slide in those DMs ;-)” / “If I were young n single & met Hawking, I woulda jumped all over him like a hot tamale”

Thanks!

*Purplerider “At some point, are you going to cut bait and run?”

So long as I continue to breathe (and who knows how much longer that will be?), I will continue to seek female companionship. It is just hardwired into my brain. I wish it wasn’t. Life would be much easier. I know some guys that just don’t care – some of which are traditionally attractive and gets lots of interest, which leads to them treating women like... they just don’t care. I’ve been girl-crazy since first grade. I tried to quit several times, but it’s a powerful addiction, and the worst possible addiction to have when you are not what the typical woman wants. So I try to act like I don’t care for a while, then I’m seeing all the happy couples all around me and I’m right back on that stuff (doesn’t help that all my closest friends are popular females). I can’t quit you baby, but I’m gonna put you down for a little while...

*pig “Hawking, your biggest issue is basing your self-worth on a woman's opinion of you.”

That seems accurate. See above.

*Whisky “You're basing your lack of success because of the quality of women.. that contact you.
Do you ever try and message anyone you like?”

My previous post was not meant to be an overall summary of my OLD experiences but simply an evaluation of the original thread question based on my related experiences. I’ve messaged over 20,000 women in 11 years on this site alone, based almost entirely on me liking them.

*NewYorker “Hawking, I believe you live in FL, where there's no shortage of short women, mostly being Spanish.”

If it’s not height, then it’s ethnicity. I am not Hispanic and my Spanish (despite several years of it, having 2 Hispanic college roommates and currently having a Hispanic best friend) is terrible. Same thing with Asians, except I don’t know any Asian languages at all. Point is, Hispanic and Asian women are mostly attracted to Hispanic and Asian men and have much more in common with them, so they really don’t give me the time of day, having nothing to do with height (and the Americanized among them become as obsessed with male height as American white women). This dovetails into that other topic:

*SS4544Spd “So the way I read this is, is a laundry list of ‘undesirable.’ Sounds like ‘very dark black’ is undesirable. This comment is curious, coming from a man of color.”

I am mixed race and fairly light skinned. My mother is like 90% white (she “identifies” as black or more was identified as being black by the 1 drop of blood rule) and I grew up in a 99% white area, have had very few black friends and am accused by most of having a “white personality.” So, yeah, I am not strongly attracted to “very dark black” but I will say that perhaps I overemphasized that aspect and was really more referring to “ghetto” behavior, which could very well happen with a white person, though not very often. One thing I do find really weird about OLD in relation to this discussion is I almost never come across educated black women of any appearance – admittedly, I’m not exactly in Philly or Southside Chicago, but still, considering black women are disproportionately educated compared to black men, it just seems strange even for largely white and Hispanic Tampa Bay that I’m contacted or viewed only by the “poorly educated” ones. (May have something to do with using “mixed” instead of “black” for my ethnicity. Once I switched to “black” for a few weeks to see what would happen, and nothing did, but that was before my current profile pic that gets tons of views.) No doubt, though, the ethnicity issue is as unhelpful as the height issue – the two combined is why I generally fall into the bottom 1% of dating desirability in the OLD world – just one or the other would be bad enough, but both is like poison.

*Norwegian “Your somewhat-above-average Joe and less cannot rely on girls writing him or use it as a litmus test.”

I think the far bigger litmus test is the views. Because, again, before I used this headless pic, I got sometimes 1 view a month, or 2, or 3. And now I’m getting 50+ a month. And again, they’re basically a cross section of all women. Prior to this experiment, I wasn’t even sure most women “window shopped” on POF. It has definitely proven that either (short) women aren’t necessarily excluding short men from their searches or POF isn’t excluding short men from short women’s matches/random log-in pics. Maybe it’s all curiosity over a headless muscular pic, but at least it’s proof that women are actively seeking out men – but nearly all look at my profile and realize it’s not me they were seeking.

*

*Flowers/Tomas/kiss -- Height/weight “correlation”: Understand, I’m talking about women that literally weigh twice or more what I weigh (which is 120-125 pounds). I coached a college-aged women’s softball team for several years and the best athletes on that team definitely were not what any of us would call “thin,” but many of them could definitely outrun me – most of that “extra” weight was well-honed muscle in appropriate places, and they could undoubtedly climb on top of a mountain in the Badlands as well as I can (interestingly, I met a fairly attractive but not thin lone young woman on top of a Badlands mountain and we started conversing, but then found out she was not straight). THESE are NOT the women I’m talking about contacting me. Furthermore, I find the typical non-athletic voluptuous woman much more attractive than skinny women. But morbid obesity is not only unattractive to me and generally unhealthy but also highly impractical – I cannot even get my short arms around a 250-300 pound woman to hug her. (On a similar note, I also don’t get why 5 foot tall women think it’s awesome to have to stand on a stepladder to kiss 6’5” tall men, but, hey, to each their own, I guess.)

I won’t get deep in the woods over ability to control weight vs. inability to control height, because ultimately, what does it matter? We all are what we are and we’re all attracted to whatever we’re attracted to and there’s really not anything we can do about it.

*

JUST GENERAL OBSERVATION: I continue to be befuddled, or more like, disturbed by Bumble/Tinder. Ignoring the “unwritten rule” above, most women don’t realize I’m short on these apps, yet still, I get a very small number of matches, at least in comparison to most guys I know on them (I use most of the same pictures you see on my profile). Which leads me to believe: maybe it’s my face. Ain’t nothing I can do about that. If I’m ugly to most women, I am ugly to most women. Although my least athletic (but attractive) female best friend says I need to get rid of the muscle pictures because that’s intimidating women like her, who have no interest in trying to run a marathon or climb a mountain with me. Yet on the other hand, my most athletic best friend says those are my hottest pics and will interest the type of women I really want to date: “healthy” women. Who knows? As statistics obsessed as I may be, many things about romantic attractive are nearly impossible to quantify, and it’s very difficult to come up with that one representation of you that the most women will find attractive – you are almost always going to turn off some women by appealing to others. I long assumed intelligence was universally desired and even got dismissed for being too smart.

I do know the dog pic has become a problem. As most of you know, that’s my mother’s dog, not mine – I don’t have one, though I like them a plenty and grew up with dozens (dogs in cities seem cruel to me – ours just roamed free in the country, just like their ancestors). Almost every match doesn’t ask me about climbing mountains or hanging out on Rodeo Drive or what Old Faithful was like but: “What’s the name of YOUR dog?” I mean, I took the picture with the dog because I know Tinder’s own statistics say guys with dog pics get the most interest, but I didn’t really think about how difficult it would be to explain the dog isn’t mine.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 106
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/29/2018 4:27:07 PM
Lie, say the dog is your's and recently died and its too soon for you to even talk about it...but sure would love a warm pillowy bosom for comfort.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 107
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Posted: 5/30/2018 11:04:23 AM
The dog pic is good, you also put a funny comment with it which makes it even better. I don't think you need to say anything more about him/her than it's your mothers dog and he/she is called *whatever* but it's a good opportunity to have a conversation about dogs if you wanted to start one (and it seems the people messaging you want to do that).
As for tall guys kissing short women they tend to have to lean over while i'm on my tiptoes, lol. No ladders involved.

You come off as intelligent and having more specialised interests than your usual guy online, i do wonder if you'd have more success on a more specialised site? Or even using forums for gym fit people, something not so average based like POF.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 108
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Posted: 5/30/2018 1:33:49 PM
Ok, so it's hardwired into your brain. Go get some jumper leads, and try to bypass the circuit. Sobbing in your beer hasn't done you any good up til now, so why fight it?

I'm not a huge country fan, but I admit I like the song "John Deere Green" By Joe Diffie.
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 109
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/30/2018 7:54:49 PM
Just say who the dog belongs to- if you rented for fricken profile, you may not want to disclose! wth DO YOU LIKE DOGS OR IS THAT JUST A FALSITY TOO? Than of course explain your lie!
BTW no accusation an observation- that totally rejects the OP ! Just sayin mad skills
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 110
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Posted: 5/30/2018 10:49:43 PM


The unfortunate thing is -- Pig is right
This should be my next username. I bet it was excruciating for you to type that.

Lol -- actually, the "unfortunate" is in the context not that you're right on something, but it being unfortunate for Hawking that what you say is the case. It's unfortunate to see someone like Hawking in that situation, thinking everything's helpless, when it's not. Someone in Hawking's situation, over so many years, you would instead expect be complaining about it being Tough to get a date, and that the good catches don't go past 1st date, etc. -- not something on the level of "In 10 years of monsterous writing, I've never gotten a slightly-below-average Jane to say Hi back to me." :)

I think the far bigger litmus test is the views.

I agree it's a far Better litmus test -- but I wouldn't bet the farm on it though.

women aren’t necessarily excluding short men from their searches or POF isn’t excluding short men from short women’s matches/random log-in pics. Maybe it’s all curiosity over a headless muscular pic, but at least it’s proof that women are actively seeking out men – but nearly all look at my profile and realize it’s not me they were seeking.

It's not purely height, but you'll be coming up in gals' thumbnails -- no searching required, although if they're taller than you, you won't come up (at least by old-school POF standards). Still, gals 5'4" and below will still see it in their thumbnails, even if a majority of the gals will search with a minimal height at least a few inches taller, if not many inches taller.

But you have to realize that a majority of the gals who view your profile, are Not going to write you anyway. So when you say "but nearly all look at my profile and realize it's not me they were seeking," in the end, you're applying the girl-write-me-first as a litmus test. But yes, seeing the face is probably Some damper as you have the boyish look With the low height. The mystery does probably bring more clicks than it otherwise would -- due to the mystery. But it's obviously better than nothing. Write every single one of them. Even if you're not that into them. You yourself claim you're lightyears from getting a date -- so why not? Practicing on all angles is a good thing. :)
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 111
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/31/2018 4:44:36 AM
Hawking, when you used Bumble (calling the shots yourself when your female friends weren't doing the swiping for you), did you notice if the population on Bumble is a lot whiter, less diverse than on POF and Tinder? Where I live, a significant percentage of the women on POF and Tinder are black, but Bumble is nearly 100% white. Also, within the white, Bumble is mostly "professional" with dolled up photos, while the women on POF and Tinder have a lot more working class and down to earth photos. Was wondering if the trend in my area occurs elsewhere (guessing it does).

Another thing I noticed on Bumble is they're more likely to mention their height and to request a minimum height, also the ones who post their height are almost all taller than average for women (if I remember correctly, average woman in real life is 5'4", and most Bumble women who disclose height are at least 5'8" with quite a few 6'+ (maybe some were born as men?))

What makes the women who messaged you seem unintelligent? Do they have dumb facial expressions? If they send messages, is the writing uneducated / stupid? I realize it doesn't seem smart to swipe yes on a headless photo showing a sleeveless arm. Mindless people will swipe yes on images they like without thinking about compatibility. Smarter people prefer a photo with a face and the body mostly covered with clothes. On Tinder the headless women often are married / poly. Bottom 1% sounds like hyperbole.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
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Posted: 5/31/2018 8:56:04 AM

Lol -- actually, the "unfortunate" is in the context not that you're right on something, but it being unfortunate for Hawking that what you say is the case. It's unfortunate to see someone like Hawking in that situation, thinking everything's helpless, when it's not.


I was responding to Whisky River, actually. I was saying it must have been excruciating for *her* to say I was right because she's no Pig fan.

As for the dog issue, why on Earth would it be anything more than telling her it's not yours and moving on? Is she wanting to fück you or the dog?
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 113
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/31/2018 10:08:32 AM

I bet it was excruciating for you to type that.

Not at all...

I'm on a roll today...agreeing/disagreeing..
I just disagreed with 2 of the major delete "queens" on here...BA and the other one in Off topics...
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 114
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 5/31/2018 4:57:22 PM
Wow, that last big post of Hawkings was both interesting and insightful. I appreciated the honesty in it.

I think this all comes down to the fact that so many of us feel alone. And it gets really frustrating when we keep getting interest from people we aren't interested in yet people we are interested in reject us. When I was a teen and a younger adult I got a lot of interest from many different guys but not anyone I wanted to go out with. The few times I decided to give a guy a chance who I wasn't interested in I just ended up feeling really guilty and sad. And back then I think I looked much better than now. Only one guy I liked ever showed any interest in me but it turns out he was only using me for sex. And now of 12 guys I met since coming back to the dating world in my 30s, 3 of the guys I actually liked and none of those 3 wanted a second date. The other 9 did which really frustrates me. Maybe guys I like are just a little too high of calibre for me to get, who knows. Now I am talking all the time with this other guy who is so great in so many ways and I really really like him but he was working away and now is back home and wants to meet but I don't want to meet because I don't want what we have to end and I have this total fear that as soon as we meet the bubble will burst because he won't like the physical me. I have never ever had someone want to be with me who I want to be with.
 tonym0013
Joined: 9/26/2015
Msg: 115
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Posted: 5/31/2018 7:11:00 PM
All the wrong women
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 116
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Posted: 6/2/2018 12:59:59 PM
Battle between the Walls of text:


I will continue to seek female companionship.
That is a good attitude.


. So I try to act like I don’t care for a while, then I’m seeing all the happy couples all around me and I’m right back on that stuff
You referenced the old blues standard , but your sentiment here reminds me of this song...And thank you of triggering my memory of this song...it's been a long time..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RntN9EfGUvI


Hispanic and Asian women are mostly attracted to Hispanic and Asian men and have much more in common with them, so they really don’t give me the time of day, having nothing to do with height (and the Americanized among them become as obsessed with male height as American white women).
You seem to vacay a lot. Ever try a long vacation to another country where the women value American men? Just cuz they're *American* men, and not because they are 6'1" American men? Maybe a jump start in confidence. Or considered a mail order bride or GF? Hey, just shakin' the tree here, seein' what falls out.


I grew up in a 99% white area, have had very few black friends and am accused by most of having a “white personality.” So, yeah, I am not strongly attracted to “very dark black” but I will say that perhaps I overemphasized that aspect and was really more referring to “ghetto” behavior, which could very well happen with a white person, though not very often.
Yes, that is a problem which doesn't help in your search. ....(I'm sure I'll take some barbs for this)...because in reality, look around, most people date their own race. AND because of, still, some expectations in today's culture. Of course my disclaimer - to ward off the PC crowd - is there's NOTHING wrong dating outside of one's race, but looking around out there, seeing actually how relatively few mixed couples vs same race couples out there....one can infer that it probably makes it more difficult if that's what one wants to do.


One thing I do find really weird about OLD in relation to this discussion is I almost never come across educated black women of any appearance –
This IS a mystery. I always thought educated black women had a shortage of educated black men (or black men, period, given the number of incarcerated) from which to choose. Probably you aren't in the same social circles.


I’m contacted or viewed only by the “poorly educated” ones.
Maybe you don't like them, but Trump loves them.


(May have something to do with using “mixed” instead of “black” for my ethnicity. Once I switched to “black” for a few weeks to see what would happen, and nothing did, but that was before my current profile pic that gets tons of views.)
You need to do more experimentation. Make up a throwaway profile somewhere and change up things, dress, facial expressions, tone in your self-description, etc. etc. See what responses you get.


I coached a college-aged women’s softball team for several years and the best athletes on that team definitely were not what any of us would call “thin,” but many of them could definitely outrun me
What would you have done with them had you caught them?


most of that “extra” weight was well-honed muscle in appropriate places, and they could undoubtedly climb on top of a mountain in the Badlands
But you need a woman who can climb on top of Mt. Hawking.


I cannot even get my short arms around a 250-300 pound woman to hug her. (
Nothing a specification on circumference won't solve.


I get a very small number of matches, at least in comparison to most guys I know on them (I use most of the same pictures you see on my profile). Which leads me to believe: maybe it’s my face. Ain’t nothing I can do about that. If I’m ugly to most women, I am ugly to most women.
You probably need to experiment with pics. Your facial expression is similar in almost every picture. Kinda like a darker, younger, more hip Mike Pence - same expression no matter what. You should experiment with varying that. And you don't smile. Nobody knows what your teeth look like, or whether you have any. (Actually that goes for Pence too...) You're projecting fun places, but you're not projecting that you're a fun person. Actually they look kinda solemn. Loosen up, smile, stick your tongue out, or make a goofy face, or do something different. Make yourself bald (Sure there are apps and sites for that)....maybe this all seems stupid, but after 0/20,000 can't hurt to try.


Although my least athletic (but attractive) female best friend says I need to get rid of the muscle pictures because that’s intimidating women like her, who have no interest in trying to run a marathon or climb a mountain with me.
Nah, most women, or enough of them, like a decent muscular build. Don't listen to her. That part, you're doing right - being the best you can be. Actually, someone has mentioned this, maybe you're listening to your female friends too much.


you are almost always going to turn off some women by appealing to others. I long assumed intelligence was universally desired and even got dismissed for being too smart.
Don't try please every woman. And women do value intelligence, but it can't be too nerdy.

[quoteI took the picture with the dog because I know Tinder’s own statistics say guys with dog pics get the most interest, but I didn’t really think about how difficult it would be to explain the dog isn’t mine.Have you tried a headless torso with a headless dog?
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 117
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/2/2018 5:17:14 PM
A lot of non-smokers?
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 118
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/2/2018 8:54:02 PM
is that really so no men shorter ??? when i do a search i specify 5'5 to 6'5 " i do get men in that height range?do taller women show up on a man's ??? (if interest is opposite sex...)
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 119
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/3/2018 12:42:15 PM
I'm coming off a 4 hr r0ad trip, waiting to slow down enough to waste a perfect weather afternoon with sleep. So this'll be the usual WTF'ery.

"Hawking, your biggest issue is basing your self-worth on a woman's opinion of you."

>>>for those of us not naturally being approached by interested members of the opposite sex, this action is both more natural and subconscious than can be imagined. After all, what do we need a relationship for besides sex? We have friends, we have our hobbies, by our age we have a life we've already established, and unless there's something stressful going on (parents need permanent care, etc), what's a partner going to do to us, or for us, that we don't already do for ourselves?

I'm not being down on relationships, I just mean, if I'm going to risk STDs and pregnancy and other bad parts of relationships, what's the positive that i'm going to get that I can't already do for myself? sometimes its fun to go out in public to an event and be a social ghost, just watch people, soak up whatever good music is on, enjoy whatever food is being presented, take in the whole mood of the place, and then go home. Sometimes for people like us, the biggest reason to even bother with a relationship is, we get an obvious sign of our procreating-worth. otherwise, we all could pay for our own dinner, we don't need someone for that. Dancing? heck, we can do that alone in the rain. It would be nice to find someone of a like-mind who is a great conversationalist...but really, how many first dates finds a person of that caliber?

Putting effort into dating (figuring out what people want, then figuring out how to sell them the idea we're a better source of what they want than the next single person, then approaching them with the salespitch, then not taking it seriously when we get rejected, then repeating the process, then getting the date and not screwing up by relaxing too soon and letting them see our warts and sharp edges) shows us nothing more than....hard work pays off sometimes with results, if luck smiles our way. Like we haven't figured that out already at our job?

I want to work hard to get a date, about as much as I want to bust my ass exercising (I have a high pain threshold, so I don't get that endorphin rush--I just get tired and sore and crave sugar to take my mind off it). I'd love it if a woman made all the effort b/c she took one look at me and said, "Wow!" But it doesn't work that way, for us we have to put in the effort to get the results--but never allow anyone to see us sweat. We have to make it look natural, we have to be desirable but not be desperate. We have to be excited about her body so we don't hide our interest in it and neuter ourselves....but we have to act like we could walk away any second. how tiring. Its easier to walk up to someone who owns a nice car and ask what it costs to own it, than to walk up to a human being and figure out how to make them think we're attractive, yet not let them know we're trying to change their mind.

emotionally-crippled people may have an easier time with relationships. If any warm body will do, then all one needs is to figure out what the price is--a roof to move in under, easy sex, etc. the lower the standards, the cheaper the passage.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 120
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/4/2018 7:01:04 AM

for those of us not naturally being approached by interested members of the opposite sex, this action is both more natural and subconscious than can be imagined.


My early teens were absolutely horrific when it came to girls and I went through some unusually horrible shit with them at the time, yet I still thought I was awesome.


Dancing? heck, we can do that alone in the rain.


It is approximately 1000x better with a woman in a tight black dress and heels writhing all over you.


(I have a high pain threshold, so I don't get that endorphin rush--I just get tired and sore and crave sugar to take my mind off it)


Anyone who exercises will experience all of this at varying levels. I have plenty of days where I don't want to pick up a set of dumbbells, and that's when I hit them harder. It's a choice.

If anyone else chooses *not* to do any of this, that's fine, but don't for one second suggest that those who do what it takes are "blessed", "lucky", or "fortunate".

I've always been of the "find a way" mindset, as I've mentioned before. I have dodged two major bullets in my life over the last few weeks, and this mindset has only intensified as a result
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 121
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/4/2018 5:52:10 PM
"My early teens were absolutely horrific"

>>>I chased women since I had only two neighbors (both female) and was too young to really know what I would have done with 'em (besides play doctor, of course, but like any boy I thought a girl touching me would be great--never did I suffer the "girls are icky" phase), and in grade school, and flirted my way thru the teenage years, with the same luck you mentioned. Then in my twenties and thirties I continued...with the same luck you had in your teens. I guess after your teens, you had your moments :) I always thought I was awesome, still do, and figure its on the other people who don't see what I see.

"dancing is better with a woman in a tight dress writhing all over you."

>>>I imagine it is--but I've NEVER had that. Even when dancing with women who were dating me, the only time they touched my body was to put their cigarette pack in my shirt pocket. That was the only kino going on. An attractive woman wanting to touch my body? that does sound like heaven, and if I had it once, who knows, I might strive to repeat it. I can't miss it b/c I didn't have it, so I don't want to work hard to get nothing again, but I can totally understand how great it must be over dancing solo. Just like I totally understand not putting a woman on a pedestal works wonders--I've seen it with my own eyes. my curse is I want to meet someone who does actually amaze me, and wouldn't mind expressing it at that moment. it makes me feel alive, but again, it can come off as pedestalizing someone. some can take a compliment, some let it go to their head. Today I had a friend compliment me on something, so I recognize that sometimes a compliment makes someone feel uncomfortable.

I admire people who enjoy exercise enough to do it. I used to love doing long bicycle rides, it was great to physically travel to another location along an abandoned railroad track--that was the gain I saw from doing it, not the health benefits which i'm sure existed. But damn i'd also love a salami and prosciutto sandwich on buttered garlic bread with cream soda even more (obviously, a large part of any exercise program is what i'm putting into my body and how often). instant gratification! maybe that's the lure of good food now, over gettin' sweaty and seeing some result later....maybe, assuming you did it right.

I would say that those who can dedicate to exercise are blessed, just like people who can't help it but be creative are blessed, too. I know people who have zero creativity, and can't have fun with their own selves. they don't have hobbies, passions. Me, I can look around at anything and have fun with it. Not that people should be arrogant about whatever mindset they were born with, but...don't take it for granted. Whatever is in your life that makes you better, embrace it. be happy you have it--there are people who don't even have that small blessing.

not everyone has a "find a way" mindset, or learns one. Its great to have--I used to have it, now I have a "prevent it from happening" mindset. I spent half the day with a friend who is out of work and spends her time in bed depressed--while paying someone $35 she doesn't have to mow her lawn. She totally lacks the "find a way". but at least she looks great physically and maybe some man will save her, which is how she's lived thru life. We all have tools in life, and hopefully we learn what they are, what their limitations are, and use them wisely for good :)
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 122
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/5/2018 3:21:58 PM

I guess after your teens, you had your moments :)


The first half of my teens, I endured elders in my family doing everything they could to humiliate me in front of girls. My sister joined in on the fun, too. Just before turning 17, I decided I had enough and was going to make them all eat shit or die trying. I did just that, and haven't looked back since.


I would say that those who can dedicate to exercise are blessed


No, they are making a choice.


I admire people who enjoy exercise enough to do it.


I don't always enjoy it. When I have a day where it's the last thing I want to do, I find the heaviest music on my playlist to get the adrenaline flowing, and it helps. On the cardio side, it's easier to get inspired to walk/run/bike because there are always women in yoga pants at the public park/lake right behind my house.


not everyone has a "find a way" mindset, or learns one.


Again, it's a choice. It's amazing what people can do when just enough incentive or pressure is applied. I would bet my life just about any slob on Earth could "find a way" to jog a one-mile lap around a lake if a Victoria's Secret model were waiting at the end of it to suck his dïck for doing it.
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 123
Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/5/2018 4:02:21 PM
Some guys are just ugly, yet still feel entitled to Araq~
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 124
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/5/2018 4:19:04 PM
sorry your family gave you grief in those days, I only got it from the women I chased :) I think it took 4 decades for me to finally take the hint.

"those who can dedicate to exercise are blessed--no, they are making a choice"

>>>I should have said, "blessed with willpower". I can choose to buy a walk-behind mower rather than a rider for exercise, but is that really an exercise program? I don't have the willpower to diet and exercise, but I have the willpower to spend my money wiser than most I know. So, my finances are fitter than their's, and their bodies are more fitter than mine :) I'm not embarassed about my blessing in life, and hopefully others are not embarrassed they have an advantage, either. But I think a bit of that is due to upbringing--we can be taught by our parents to spend our money well and avoid debt, or our parents may not have a clue. Someone might be driven to work hard on their appearance b/c in their formulative years, someone taught them outward appearance is worth working for. And there may be an issue of genes giving some a better payoff for their hard work, than other people doing the same work:

https://www.mensjournal.com/health-fitness/how-your-genes-could-impact-your-fitness-and-health-goals

still, one should at least try. Any day I don't want to exercise, I make a simple, instinctive, self-trained, unconscious choice--I don't do it :) I wouldn't imagine that music would change my mind about getting sore and sweaty. I don't bother to psyche myself up, I just don't find a reason to. Look at women in yoga pants? I can go online or sit on a park bench and accomplish the same without being sore and sweaty. but when it comes to avoiding wasting money, I don't even have to make a choice or find a reason--I instinctively don't waste money. I plan ahead so I don't have to, or I price-shop--takes just a few seconds, and its so practiced, its instinctive.

"any slob could find a way to exercise if he was going to be rewarded with sex from a model"

>>>I'd agree with that, but few of us get anything close to that reward at the end of exercise. If I thought going back to my original weight was somehow going to magically make more women chase me than when I was that age (living in my own place like I do now, same personality, etc)...then I guess i'd have an incentive and would do it. just like if people putting money aside for retirement immediately got a reward for doing it, i'll bet more people would save for retirement. But how many people save for a retirement that's decades away from rewarding them?

of course...if I was physically attractive and all I had to do was drop 10 lbs to get women again...then there would be a relatively instant reward. but there are genetically attractive people who can get 10 lbs and still have someone see thru it. Exercise to get a date, makes as much sense for me as buying a lottery ticket--it works for others, doesn't work for me. I should exercise for the health benefits....just like everyone else should plan for retirement :)

wait, Skeezix is gone again?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 125
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Any expectations of who would be attracted to you?
Posted: 6/5/2018 5:09:59 PM

is that really so no men shorter ??? when i do a search i specify 5'5 to 6'5 " i do get men in that height range?do taller women show up on a man's ??? (if interest is opposite sex...)

You can search for midgets or those over 7 foot if you want on a Search. But everything outside of Searches (Meet Me & Thumbnails)-- is going to be guys your height or less. You have to go out of your way to Search for guys shorter than you... or wait for them to write you.

I would say that those who can dedicate to exercise are blessed

One's not blessed to be able to exercise -- or able to have a dedicated exercise regimen. The blessed part would to be able to be on a Consistent dedicated exercise program without interfering to their schedule's comfort zone while getting a great price at a gym, etc. :)

To look sexually attractive does not require being a gym-rat. If one wants to mow down "home cooked" aka fatty meals all the time packing on the pounds, yeah, it's going to take a lot more to shed that and put it in line to keep a healthy (sexy) body. Very-overweight-Bob who scorns those drinking every weekend and possibly more, becomes the pot calling the kettle black, when he's eating heaping spoonfuls of grandma's warm-fuzzy-feel-good slop every night. It's habit/comfort-zone that keeps people from having a decent looking body. It's only a Blessing when one can swill down some beer on the weekends and choke down grandma's pork chops & mashed potatoes every night and Still have a decent looking body Without working out at all. :)
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