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 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 26
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When is it ok to say I love you?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
He may love the way she treats him, loves that they have things in common, loves doing things with her, loves her thoughts, the way she expresses herself. He loves her. It may not be the in depth love people have from knowing each other more, but so what? I think he's wanting/feeling like saying something based on feedback too, which we aren't privy to.

Then when it comes to expressing that and a timeline, the gf sounds like she's caught up in the happiness of this new relationship too. There are different types of love, different levels of intensity. Many guys feel love after having sex, where people may find that shallow kind of love more acceptable. I think he should enjoy it for what it is now.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 27
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 12:36:03 PM
Thanks for all the good advice and opinions I really appreciate you all taking time to respond. Right now I am just keeping it at "I really like you!" or "I really really like you!!". We might have date 5 tonite but I don't want to keep her up too late(again) because she has to get up for work at 4:30 AM.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 28
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 12:45:52 PM

OP, you say it when you truly mean it. However, don't say it just in hopes that the other person will return the favor.


That 3 word statement (ILY) is something you can never take back after saying it. The only time someone wants to take it back is when a relationship is headed for the dumpster.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 29
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 12:56:48 PM

Posted By: Newyorker58 on 5/5/2018 240 PM
Subject: When is it ok to say I love you?
Message: He may love the way she treats him, loves that they have things in common, loves doing things with her, loves her thoughts, the way she expresses herself. He loves her. It may not be the in depth love people have from knowing each other more, but so what? I think he's wanting/feeling like saying something based on feedback too, which we aren't privy to.

Then when it comes to expressing that and a timeline, the gf sounds like she's caught up in the happiness of this new relationship too. There are different types of love, different levels of intensity. Many guys feel love after having sex, where people may find that shallow kind of love more acceptable. I think he should enjoy it for what it is now.


Thanks Newyorker58! Yes me and my GF are compatible on so many levels it is really incredible. We are both the same age but she is 3 months younger. She grew up near LA and I grew up near New York City,She was going to The Roxy to she punk bands while I was going to CBGB. She has a 26 year old daughter and I have a 27 year old son. I moved to Minnesota in 1992 and she moved here in 1994. I got divorced from my (1st) wife in 1998 and she got divorced from her (ex)husband in 2000. I'm not really religious but she and her daughter converted to the religion of my birth(it isn't Buddhism as stated in my profile) and she told me that when she sent me a message on Ok****d she offered up a prayer asking for something good to happen. I think it did.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 30
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 3:08:19 PM
... Love is not enough, there must be shared compatibility ...

... I'm glad you speak of it my friend. But is it on the level, you both need for a successful relationship ? It is going to take some time to figure that out so, don't rush into things < that's my OP.

... I wonder why it takes so long sometimes ~ to find out, we are just not compatible with someone?

... Sometimes, it may not be a " bad " choice we have made, but a " sad " choice ...

... Is it that we want so much for the relationship to work out, we ignore or don't want to acknowledge the issues ?
... How many signs do we need to see, before we say adios? Can external factors play a part in prolonging a separation? Seems a bit sad.

... Although I feel , very few things in life are a waste of time ...
... I also think ~ life is but a blink of an eye ...

... So ~ before you say I Love You, put some time under your belts. Make as sure as you can, that there is compatibility . This is how important I think - those three words are.

... WELP anyhoo ~ very best of luck for you both !! I'll be waiting on the fantastically cool, goings on !!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 31
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 3:29:10 PM

So ~ before you say I Love You, put some time under your belts. Make as sure as you can, that there is compatibility . This is how important I think - those three words are.


Yes....time.....since it has only been exactly 1 week since your first date!!

Slow down my friend....let the rollercoaster ride of a new relationship come down from the highs to see if ya'll can handle the lows!!
I get the "instant connection" thing....but we all know the first few months is more like a romantic movie than real life...
just keeping spending time together and get to "really" know each other....and then decide how you really feel!

And.....Good Luck!!
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 32
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 3:32:06 PM
^^^^
wise words indeed ~ you lil' platipie , col ( chuckle out loud )



hi below MsM :)

a lil platipie is described well in the " Redundant Thread " my post # 15 ...
ps ? they make a " skiddleedeedee " skiddleedeedee " high pitched sound, when their happy, col

Oh ! It's my very topmost , favorite complement I like to give !!

 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 33
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 3:39:11 PM
well shucks....I hope that's a compliment!!

<< is now going to Google "Platipie" to see if it is related to a "Platypus"....
 PieAlaMojo
Joined: 4/30/2018
Msg: 34
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 3:43:01 PM
When you're comfortable with leaving the bathroom door open...
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 35
after the wedding is a good time to start :)
Posted: 5/5/2018 5:01:29 PM
I feel the best response to someone telling us they love us, is to ask...what is it about us they love. Many times, the honest answer is the person loves the feelings they feel around us. But what do we really have to do with what they think or feel? sometimes someone just loves the newness, or they are relieved they finally found someone they didn't have reject right away.

I believe the time to say I love you is when you know the person so well, you can answer that question with what is unique about them. You may be able to answer that question sooner or later, depending upon how much you pay attention to them.
 47Seagulls
Joined: 3/16/2018
Msg: 36
after the wedding is a good time to start :)
Posted: 5/5/2018 6:03:18 PM

When you're comfortable with leaving the bathroom door open...


Exactly. Or fart. When can fart and not be embarrassed, we all fart.

Another would be somewhere between you think her/his snoring is cute and the point you want to put a pillow over their head because they snore and its driving you nuts.

Road trips. That's a kicker too. Driver picks the tunes, passenger shuts their cake hole. Or rent a cabin and you're on day 4 of straight rain.

A stressor - loss of job, illness, death in the family. Some of these pull people together.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 37
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/5/2018 10:13:56 PM
Not yet.... way to soon
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 38
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When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/6/2018 7:53:29 AM
Thanks for the advice. I have already told her some of the things I love about her like her face and her nose and other body parts.She didn't seem to mind that at all,lol.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 39
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/6/2018 8:16:18 AM

^^It takes a long time to really love another person. 4 or 5 dates is waayyyyy too soon. You dont know her well enough. Loving her appearance isnt loving her as a person.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 40
When is it ok to say I love you?
Posted: 5/6/2018 8:48:48 AM
Of all the dilemmas to face, I think this is one of the loveliest.
 LDC9999
Joined: 9/16/2017
Msg: 41
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after the wedding is a good time to start :)
Posted: 5/6/2018 10:04:46 AM
Is it love?

Is it Lust?

Is it Infatuation?

There is a distinction.

And remember actions speak louder than words.

@Mustang: you crack me up! Did anyone notice that he changed the subject line yet again. Methinks he's a good 'bad' boy. lol
 hey_suze
Joined: 8/28/2017
Msg: 42
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after the wedding is a good time to start :)
Posted: 5/6/2018 10:45:04 AM
Think I’m slowly falling in love with mustang myself...
Is it too soon to tell him that 😉
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 43
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In love with being in love
Posted: 5/6/2018 10:58:42 AM
GTO
Many times, the honest answer is the person loves the feelings they feel around us. But what do we really have to do with what they think or feel? sometimes someone just loves the newness, or they are relieved they finally found someone they didn't have reject right away.

+1
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 44
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In love with being in love
Posted: 5/6/2018 12:11:59 PM

hey_suze
Think I’m slowly falling in love with mustang myself...
Is it too soon to tell him that 😉

Damn GTO, time to start saving for that plane ticket to the UK! Or, hell, just splurge and put it on the old credit card, worry about paying for it later. Some things are most definitely worth going in debt for.

Wait, wait --- didn’t you talk before about having some huge amount of airline miles? Not as many as George Clooney in “Up In The Air”, of course, but still a bunch?

Road Trip!!
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 45
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In love with being in love
Posted: 5/6/2018 12:31:51 PM

Posted By: ohenryx on 5/6/2018 259 PM
Subject: In love with being in love
Message:
hey_suze
Think I’m slowly falling in love with mustang myself...
Is it too soon to tell him that 😉

Damn GTO, time to start saving for that plane ticket to the UK! Or, hell, just splurge and put it on the old credit card, worry about paying for it later. Some things are most definitely worth going in debt for.

Wait, wait --- didn’t you talk before about having some huge amount of airline miles? Not as many as George Clooney in “Up In The Air”, of course, but still a bunch?

Road Trip!!


Hello Suze

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZiQSy_5ZldA
 hey_suze
Joined: 8/28/2017
Msg: 46
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In love with being in love
Posted: 5/6/2018 12:59:32 PM
Heyyyy thank you for that, but here is a clue to my name IRL 😜

https://youtu.be/2jZVpTtYyPs
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 47
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In love with being in love
Posted: 5/6/2018 3:57:42 PM

Posted By: hey_suze on 5/6/2018 232 PM
Subject: In love with being in love
Message: Heyyyy thank you for that, but here is a clue to my name IRL 😜

https://youtu.be/2jZVpTtYyPs


Haha,well then I guess you better get along home.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1TuGTH3VKM
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 48
In love with being in love
Posted: 5/6/2018 4:30:58 PM
Well, I am honored...more than one attractive woman has complimented me. They may be out of my country and out of reach, but they've made me smile :)

I did have a bunch of airline miles, Henry, but I spent 'em all. The pity is those trips end up being a LDR or a weekend one-night stand. Not that there's anything wrong with those, but I guess I finally reached that age where I want someone more local, to get the gf experience, since I haven't had that in a long while. I want to enjoy the sappy things, like looking in someone's eyes to see their responses after they've gotten to know you and aren't putting on airs, rather than a photo online and imagining what their personality is creating for a response. Or enjoying someone who wants me touching them and taking them around to local events to share and...oh, you get the idea.

maybe that comes from watching real movies and not the porn ones with the pizza guy getting a tip and not much romance...or i'm getting fussy and raising my standards :)

Cindy, hmm...that was my mother's (her relatives came over from England) nickname. She was named after an obscure poem.

" I have already told her some of the things I love about her like her face and her nose and other body parts.She didn't seem to mind that at all,lol."

>>>I think, intitially, that isn't a problem--and of course, it depends upon how one comments on appearances. Not too flowery, not too pervy, but to acknowledge that a woman is beautiful? That's pretty much admitting what she believes or wants to believe is true, and she won't mind the confirmation. Ladies in general are going to wear eye makeup and clothing to accentuate the parts of them they already consider to be attractive.why pretend we don't see it?

as for me being a good bad boy...is that like the "ethical slut"? :) Now i'm curious as to the definition of that term. Tho if we can't agree on what is a real bad boy, we might not think of an alternative. I'm thinking its the flirty, Kokopelli type who aims a little higher in his seduction tactics? instead of picking on the insecurities, he tries to stimulate her intelligence?
 LDC9999
Joined: 9/16/2017
Msg: 49
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In love with being in love
Posted: 5/6/2018 5:16:03 PM
Mustang, to me good bad boys were the boys in elementary school who would put a spider on me. It was harmless (good) but he was naughty (bad) for doing that.

You Sir, make me have numerous WTF moments when I’m reading these threads. On this one it started out as ‘When is it ok to say I love you?’ and part way through it you changed it to ‘after the wedding is a good time to start :)’ lol (that’s a good one)

Now I know better and when I see a subject line change I don’t bother checking because 9 times out of 10, I assume it’s you.

My heart is sadden that hey_suze jumped the gun on casting her sights on you. I guess I shall behave and retreat. BTW my second car was a Foxbody and I got an after-market T-top so I would have thought that we would have had that in common.

Have you see all these movies? https://www.msn.com/en-ca/autos/research/the-5-best-movie-mustangs-of-all-time/ss-AAwAvMp?li=AAggNb9#image=1
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 50
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I hear spring is beautiful in the UK
Posted: 5/6/2018 5:46:43 PM
CBGB, you certainly hit the jackpot with this woman!
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