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 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 229
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??Page 11 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Well, Kiss, the proof is men have d!cks and women have v*ginas....and men spread the seed, and women bear the children. The limiting factor of a species max propogation is uteruses, not penises. That fact has behavioural implications that are with us even today. And Reverend, I wouldn't say biology has "absolutely nothing" to do with it. Yes, societal standards on gender roles are changeable, and have changed. A bunch. But the origin of most these societal based standards are still based on remnants from the historical biologically based roles from the past. Roles that each gender naturally took based on what we had to work with at the time when survival and propogation of the species was critical.. As in..*Grunts*.,."You! Woman! Have babies! Cook! Clean!" "Me man! Me impregnate! Me protect! Me provide!" (Reminds me of that old Jimmy Castor Bunch song lol)....yes, all women have an inner "Bertha Butt" in them....and men have caveman in em too......as that stuff still trickles down a bit to modern times.



Whiterose wrote:
"That implies that men and women have no brains and rely on instinct only. Let’s get realistic, shall we? The truth of the matter is that the older we women get, the less applicable biology and evolution become in attracting a mate. Women are no longer the “guardian of the egg”, because we have no more eggs to guard."
Of course it's not 100% "no brains" and all instinct. There IS implication, though, that SOME of our historical biological heritage and those related roles in today's society/dating/mating rituals are based on historical biological roles. And for your example about older women who are trying to attract a mate, if biology or evolution isn't a factor influencing, why not just find another woman to shack up with in your senior years? Go the "Golden Girls" route? If sex/mating, i.e. biological roles, has nothing to do with behaviour even in senior years, then you'd see more of that.

And depending on a senior woman's sex drive, it may even be preferable to settlw with another woman and avoid altogether the army of geezers sporting pharmacologically enabled juvenile b 0ners equivalent to the time they first spanked it to Miss July in the 1966 Playboy.


TY for your brilliant & patient explanation, I am not as eloquent as you & I no longer have the patience to attempt to explain to ppl who may even think the world is flat!
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 230
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 11:51:59 AM
Whiterose wrote:
What I said is it has less to do with biology and evolution as we get older. For women who are post menopausal to cite biology and evolution as reasons for the man being the pursuer - that line of reasoning doesn't hold water. Many of us are no longer looking for men to provide for us. Our children are grown, and we have our own financial resources.

What many of us are looking for is male companionship. That may include sex - with or without marriage. There are fewer men to choose from in the 60+ age bracket, so my opinion still stands that we should be more proactive in pursuing them. As for your last suggestion, I wouldn't want to live with another woman unless I were a lesbian or had no more interest in sex. I don't fit into either of those categories.
I would agree with "less," certainly. It's also why older folks are more sensible...most of 'em, anyways....they aren't nearly as much slaves to their sex drives and mating, and thus become more immune to the risky stuff younger folks do ....to ...well, get laid. I haven't seen an uptick in senior citizens' lifestyle trends in nude sexting, full body tatooing, or participating in bar wet T-shirt contests, for example, common things young folks do to attract attention to themselves.

I would not suggest that biology dictates that women *should* wait back for men to approach. At any age. Have at it! I maintain though, that biology dictates why, that is the tendency in overall male-female relations, no matter what the age. Even yearning for companionship in one's senior years is biologically dictated in a sense, i.e. the human need for company and the touch of another. AND the fact that most seniors still choose the opposite sex for that...even if sex isn't involved....it's still biology influencing that, otherwise we'd see more "Golden Girls" arrangements.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 231
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 11:53:47 AM

What I said is it has less to do with biology and evolution as we get older. For women who are post menopausal to cite biology and evolution as reasons for the man being the pursuer - that line of reasoning doesn't hold water. Many of us are no longer looking for men to provide for us. Our children are grown, and we have our own financial resources.

What many of us are looking for is male companionship. That may include sex - with or without marriage. There are fewer men to choose from in the 60+ age bracket, so my opinion still stands that we should be more proactive in pursuing them. As for your last suggestion, I wouldn't want to live with another woman unless I were a lesbian or had no more interest in sex. I don't fit into either of those categories.


WhiteRose, that is your perogative & preference, but I am 59, quite post-menopausal & IMO & experience, just because a man (he is part of the equation too, isn't he?) is older himself, does he now want to be hog-tied?

I am verging on rude now, if it doesn't hold water, who is the man w/ me in my pix?

The one who pursued me, not the other way around.

I told him about this thread & asked for his input.

In his years of widowhood, he had women pursue him ( I have no reason to think he would lie to me on this) & he said it was a HUGE turn off. Just bec. he is 66 years old, doesn't mean he has no preferences in physicality of who he is with. (he liked blondes w/ my body type)

I have many female friends who are older, divorced or widowed & every time they pursue a man it backfires- it either goes no where, or sex only, w/ them hurt & angry. We cannot control other people & their desires/wishes.

Putting oneself out there & taking care of oneself may be a good strategy, but I don't think actively chasing them/asking them out leads to a good ending.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 232
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 2:03:39 PM
"Maybe he thinks to be survived in death by a hard on may not be that bad a thing."

>>>sure! he can prop up the coffin lid at the wake.

"For women who are post menopausal to cite biology and evolution as reasons for the man being the pursuer - that line of reasoning doesn't hold water. Many of us are no longer looking for men to provide for us. Our children are grown, and we have our own financial resources."

>>>for some PMW I met growing up, finally reaching that age alive had a benefit of no longer needing to GAS about what people thought. Fiesty old broads who told you what's what. Grandmas who spoke their mind at Thanksgiving.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 233
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 2:46:34 PM

WhiteRose, that is your prerogative & preference, but I am 59, quite post-menopausal & IMO & experience, just because a man (he is part of the equation too, isn't he?) is older himself, does he now want to be hog-tied?


Who said anything about hog-tying? I certainly didn’t.


I am verging on rude now, if it doesn't hold water, who is the man w/ me in my pix?

The one who pursued me, not the other way around.


There is no need to get your panties in a twist, BA. I am saying your biological and evolutionary argument doesn’t hold water for older women as a whole. The fact that your husband pursued you rather than the other way around may have had more to do with your being seven years younger than he and less to do with the fact that you didn’t ask him out.

I also happen to have a man in my life; and I was the one to ask him out. He is five years younger than I. Out of seventeen people in my senior Sunday school class, there were only three men, two of whom were married. He was the only single man in the class. Several of the women in the class were younger and more attractive (in my opinion) than I.

The single women all had their eye on him. One woman in the class invited twelve of us to her house for a luncheon one afternoon, including this man and myself. We were talking, and I asked him if he’d like to grab a coffee after the luncheon. We’ve been a couple now for four years. By the way, the woman who invited us all to her luncheon stopped speaking to me for some odd reason.


I told him about this thread & asked for his input.

In his years of widowhood, he had women pursue him ( I have no reason to think he would lie to me on this) & he said it was a HUGE turn off. Just bec. he is 66 years old, doesn't mean he has no preferences in physicality of who he is with. (he liked blondes w/ my body type)

I have many female friends who are older, divorced or widowed & every time they pursue a man it backfires- it either goes no where, or sex only, w/ them hurt & angry. We cannot control other people & their desires/wishes.


Funny, my partner was very flattered when I asked him out. He liked my looks, as well, including the fact that I don’t color my white hair and have stayed in reasonably good shape for my age. He told me that the only way he was turned off by a woman asking him out was when he didn’t find her attractive.

So, your anecdotal story about your husband and friends doesn’t prove there is anything inherently wrong with asking a man out or that it can’t work. It all depends on how it’s done, as well as the man and woman in question, and how open-minded they are.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 234
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 2:56:27 PM
^^you got yourself a real good man there- most IMo would have done the hump n dump

Of course we know why the other gal stopped talking to you ;0)

you're right, I am younger so it was different- I wish you would have shared your story sooner.

I think you are the exception (or your BF is)

I know tons of women who pursued & didn't fare as well :0(

Wow I did not realize you were 83, you look awesome!

My Mom is only 1-2 years older than you & doesn't look 1/2 as good as you, & she didn't look to date after my Dad passed away 12 years ago.
 Whisky_River
Joined: 10/14/2017
Msg: 235
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 3:11:04 PM
^^You're absolutely right on this WhiteRose. Good on you and your man.
BA and her guy found each other...good on them.

Just don't try to push your nonsense down my throat...is all I am saying. I am not of the personality to be fickle or play coy.
I do me...it works.
It baffles me why some think they are "relationship experts" because they found a man or got divorced...or so and so did/said....whatever.
In a lot of circumstances....I wouldn't look twice at that guy.....they think is so great...just saying.

I know my "worth" and I know what I am attracted to.
Just because a man buys me a meal...isn't making him anymore worthy if I am not attracted to him.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 236
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 4:01:58 PM

Well, Kiss, the proof is men have d!cks and women have v*ginas....and men spread the seed, and women bear the children. The limiting factor of a species max propogation is uteruses, not penises. That fact has behavioural implications that are with us even today. And Reverend, I wouldn't say biology has "absolutely nothing" to do with it. Yes, societal standards on gender roles are changeable, and have changed. A bunch. But the origin of most these societal based standards are still based on remnants from the historical biologically based roles from the past. Roles that each gender naturally took based on what we had to work with at the time when survival and propogation of the species was critical.. As in..*Grunts*.,."You! Woman! Have babies! Cook! Clean!" "Me man! Me impregnate! Me protect! Me provide!" (Reminds me of that old Jimmy Castor Bunch song lol)....yes, all women have an inner "Bertha Butt" in them....and men have caveman in em too......as that stuff still trickles down a bit to modern times.


Huh? My own mother was taller than my dad, and she proposed marriage to him first. I refuse to believe that I’m a mistake of nature because my parents’ courting behaviour’ didn’t fit the norm. Men were never the only providers, even in the Stone Age. Women were gatherers which meant in many cases they gathered up to 80% of the food. Only a small part of the diet was meat hunted by men. Using the biological excuse one could also say that all men want to impregnate as many females as possible to pass on their seed; therefore, men cheating is justified. I don’t think that’s the case. There are men who enjoy the benefits of a monogamous relationship. There are other factors at work beyond our impulses to mate and reproduce, otherwise men would be going around beating their chests like monkies and fighting off potential rivals who attempt to mate with any female.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 237
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 5:53:20 PM
I think that a 59 year old, an 83 year old & a 20 something year old etc. are all going to have VERY DIFFERENT ideas & EXPERIENCES in their approach to courtship, love, sex, marriage etc.

I am glad WhiteRose, that someone who is essentially the same age as my Mother found someone- if I were your age I would have considered the same approach if looking for a male companion.

By the same token, I do not expect my 20-something niece to have the same experiences & approach as I do- in fact, she & I discuss relationships often, she is in the field of Psychology.

WhiteRose, you met a man, expressed interest & he certainly was interested in you. I suspect not just bec. you asked, but he did find you appealing & your personalities were a match. Had you invited him for coffee & he made excuses & acted aloof etc, would you have kept at it?

If you were younger, would you have approached him? When you werei n your teens/20's, did u approach men & ask them out?
When you were younger, if you approached a man & he offered sex only, would you have gone that route? NSA? How would you have felt afterwards if he ditched you? (the forums are rife w/ this scenario)

Since 2005 I have read ppl's posts in this forum:

We had sex & now he disappeared
I am a nice guy but can't get a date/been friend zoned
I am a fat girl/short guy, (wo)men don't wanna date me

Then IRL dozens, maybe over 100 women have told me the same old same old.

I don't expect my 20 something niece to do what I do anymore than I'd do what WhiteRose or any octogenarian does. Or what my parents did when they were both alive & met in the 1950's!

I do like the post in this thread about the Golden Girls- after a certain age that would be a smart choice for many women.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 238
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 7:33:20 PM
White Rose.....darling.....you look fabulous! And good on you for going after what you wanted!!
I'm only 55, but it worked for me as well! 3 1/2 years after I asked him out, we are going strong!!

And yes, I did ask men out when I was in my 20's....it is how I ended up married!
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 239
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/22/2018 8:24:42 PM

Posted By: BLONDE_ANGEL_1 on 5/22/2018 720 PM
Subject: Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Message: I think that a 59 year old, an 83 year old & a 20 something year old etc. are all going to have VERY DIFFERENT ideas & EXPERIENCES in their approach to courtship, love, sex, marriage etc.


My 90 year old mom just broke up with her 82 year old boyfriend. She said he is too controlling and she doesn't need someone like that in her life.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 240
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 12:47:15 AM
Men looking for someone nurturing is nothing to do with biology. I think a lot of men look for a mother figure type to look after them and not even their kids. Society basically shoved women into the supportive category by default, as you can see by the types of roles that were seen as traditionally female.

It may just be that young women were picked up as more prized by default because of the above thinking but my thoughts on this are that young women are more naive and less likely to have experienced many relationships and therefore less likely to pick up on being used or abused (hence why virginity is also prized so that women have nothing to compare with a poor sex life), and this is why we often find old men creepy if looking for someone younger yet when the traditional roles were seen as normal so was the old man/young girl relationship. Sometimes it was even seen as the guy always had money because older men had nothing to offer them except money. I've no doubt some women were after money but i think it's not that common and more the older guy was a predator. Nobody batted an eyelid when Bill Wyman married Mandy Smith but i think people now would find that questionable (she was 14 when he met her and they first had sex).
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 241
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 7:15:22 AM
Hey ! I'm a 65 year old frog ~ that has never been kissed ~ col

^ just one of many ~ of my crafty retorts ...


what's getting OLD > may be OLD ( on- line dating )

heart /sun
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 242
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 7:45:39 AM

My 90 year old mom just broke up with her 82 year old boyfriend. She said he is too controlling and she doesn't need someone like that in her life.

GOD DAYUM!

I'll have what she is drinking!

;0P
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 243
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 8:23:10 AM

My 90 year old mom just broke up with her 82 year old boyfriend. She said he is too controlling and she doesn't need someone like that in her life.



LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 244
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 1:40:14 PM
90? Hmmm, maybe I should be playing the field and not be looking to get into a LTR so fast☺
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 245
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 3:31:36 PM
She (CBGB Mom) may be happier baking some key lime pies, I just hope she gets a juicer & not her hands to do the job ;0)
















bla bla bla my pic of key limes is too sexy i am asking for fruit fetish men to molest me how dare i show that juice
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 246
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 7:46:33 PM
Kissfromarose wrote:
Men were never the only providers, even in the Stone Age. Women were gatherers which meant in many cases they gathered up to 80% of the food. Only a small part of the diet was meat hunted by men.
Sure, but mens' providing isn't just food, it's building things, shelter, etc., hitting other men over heads with sticks and taking their stuff, and creating general order and security for their own group. And women's gathering doesn't trump their primary biological purpose, which was to bear babies.


Using the biological excuse one could also say that all men want to impregnate as many females as possible to pass on their seed; therefore, men cheating is justified. I don’t think that’s the case. There are men who enjoy the benefits of a monogamous relationship.
And mans job IS to spread their seed, from a pure biological perspective. It doesn't justify cheating in modern times. It probably does mean men are programmed more than women to cheat though. And back when spreading the seed was important, there probably wasn't marriage or anything akin to the "1 on 1" relationships today. That's not optimal. There were probably a small amount of men impregnating most available fertile females. What was important to the species was "Bad MF in charge" men spreading their seed...not ALL men.


There are other factors at work beyond our impulses to mate and reproduce, otherwise men would be going around beating their chests like monkies and fighting off potential rivals who attempt to mate with any female.
And the modern day equivalent to "beating chests" is out there, right under our noses...the daily of ticker of the mayhem we see playing out on the streets every day. Most of that is attributable to men. Testosterone can be an ugly thing if it's idle and agitated. It's been that way through history.

What was important was that all available uteruses were filled with a baby, not that all men got 'em some. What was best for the species was for all healthy, fertile women to have sex, but not all health, fertile men. That dynamic influences even today. It's easier for women to get laid. And it wasn't good for the species for smaller/weaker/meeker men to procreate, so they were left to be fodder in wars, workers, bang prostitutes, and probably bang each other. One doesn't have to read these forums too long to see that dynamic, in a way, is still with us, albeit not so harsh these days for those men left outside. As a matter of fact - short/small/meek men should look on the bright side....from a dating/mating point of view, there's probably not been a better time in history to be a short/small/meek man.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 247
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Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 8:18:32 PM
Thanks Angel......but there are some things I doubt we'll be the same page on lol.

In general, though, I DO still believe it's better for women to wait for the man to pursue them, simply because I do believe... men are more likely to take advantage of a woman's pursuit for some easy sex, or pretend they're interested in a relationship for awhile just to get some sex. I know that's what I did back when women made a play for lil ol' moi....

But it's 2018, and let the chips fall where they may. Or should I say let the d!cks fall where they may. And this is probably less of a concern as one gets older. But I still believe it is not a great idea for women with bad man pickers.

Most the women here are middle aged women and older who generally have a BS degree on mens', well, BS. They're likely pretty adept at spotting players representing themselves to be upstanding. So it's up to them. Hey, things have changed, and they have the freedom to do what they want in the dating sphere. To chase men, or to buy coffee on a date.

My other argument with men doing the pursuing, is this has a biological basis because it screened out meek men, because only bold, aggressive men approached women to mate, and these aggressive men were better providers. Thus better for the propagation of the species.

Mustang wrote:
>>>sure! he can prop up the coffin lid at the wake.
Good idea. And his rental bride can use it as a sort of kickstand to prop him up if she uses the "Weekend at Bernie's" retirement plan. Guess he'd have to be propped up upside down though.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 248
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/23/2018 8:21:41 PM

Sure, but mens' providing isn't just food, it's building things, shelter, etc., hitting other men over heads with sticks and taking their stuff, and creating general order and security for their own group. And women's gathering doesn't trump their primary biological purpose, which was to bear babies.


If you research different societies, I’m sure you’ll find that women also participate in building shelters. Some societies are matriarchal, and women participate in decision-making for their tribes. Sorry to say but Stone Age women did a lot more than just sitting lactating by a fire.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 249
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/24/2018 4:51:43 AM
I recall hearing stories that-at least in European countries-during the Second World War, it was women who ran the factories and did all of the dirty and heavy work that normally men would do, because all of the men were in the military fighting in the war. There was no "You can't do that. It's a man's job."
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 250
Why so many physically unattractive men on here??
Posted: 5/24/2018 6:40:25 AM
"there was no, 'you can't do that, its a man's job"

>>>true, that had to wait until the men returned from war and wanted their paychecks back :)
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