Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Women Don't Know What They Want      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 226
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They WantPage 10 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
'It goes without saying' is NOT true, at least in conversations with internet strangers. Thats a point of arrogance - and people post messages in here all the time complaining about stuff like that. Assume nothing. Make replies as idiot-proof as possible. And honest. Being vague and being polite don't work well together. People can never learn from their mistakes if people are too afraid to tell them the truth.
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 227
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/10/2019 12:12:08 PM
I agree kind of but the majority of people on pof don’t come on here complaining.
Why should people have to idiot proof every reply.
Not everyone wants to ‘teach’ in their free time.
But yes to those complaining maybe do an ABC chart :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 228
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/10/2019 1:56:42 PM

A profile is NOT seeking to sell services. (Yes, I'm aware of the joke there).

A profile is selling oneself as a person. You don't have to be selling a Service to offend or clearly turn off others you're trying to market to. If a girl or guy is whining in their profile that's selling themselves, about X/Y/Z they don't like, it does and should turn off people.

Now, I agree with the concept of reducing time wasted for everyone. Problem is, like anything else, you take what one says in a profile as worth it's weight in nickel, not gold. Which is why some will make it Very Apparent in "types" of folk they don't like, which will weed out a lot of options they'd normally get along with. Add to that, many gals getting too many messages they don't like from guys in general, their attitude in the sphere of OLD turns sour in general (which leads to stuff like that). Little patience.

From a marketing standpoint, it'd be better if, like on Match, there were mark-offs of what they want in someone else, where race (among many other things) is merely a part of it. Sure, it's not going to resolve everything for a gal who has a thin line of patience in the OLD-world, but it'd at least allow something to be known which is a known turn-off if spelled out by someone in their profile.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 229
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/12/2019 11:48:25 AM

'It goes without saying' is NOT true, at least in conversations with internet strangers. Thats a point of arrogance - and people post messages in here all the time complaining about stuff like that. Assume nothing. Make replies as idiot-proof as possible. And honest.


I am operating under the assumption that a mature human being, male or female would begin a rejection with an apology. "I'm sorry but".....to internet strangers, co-workers, friends, real life strangers....it's called common courtesy, certainly not arrogance. I also don't assume that people are idiots and I do my best to be honest and that "goes without saying".
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 230
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/12/2019 12:31:38 PM

...it's called common courtesy, certainly not arrogance...

Assuming what you do is what everyone else SHOULD do is indeed a point of arrogance. You don't have to be hostile about the point to be arrogant about it.

Translation of messages through the internet is a coin flip at best. How the receiver translates the message always matters more than the sender.

People have a really hard time accepting anything short of their own perception of self-worth and dignity level as 'common'. Being good at explaining yourself requires an empathy and understanding of your audience, not a demand that they be 'better' simply because that is what YOU want. Being 'Idiot proof' is not about treating others like idiots - it's about playing the PART of the idiot until you understand how they are thinking or working. There are tons of CEOs out there that give the same sage leadership advice -- always let everyone else have a chance to speak, a chance to be heard, and be sure to be the last person to do so. "It Goes Without Saying" is NEVER a rule unless BOTH of you know each other well enough to complete each others' sentences -- and even then, you are still taking a chance of pushing aside the truth out of impatience.

A 'Mature' human being can be found at ANY age, education, and skill level - not to mention income, height, body type and other superficial crap we vote out in these dating sites -- what makes them mature is their ability to listen and understand -- not their ability to dictate, or refuse to take any answer other than the outcome they want. I know a few teenagers who are a lot wiser than many 50 year olds.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 231
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/12/2019 1:13:09 PM
“A profile is NOT seeking to sell services.”

I agree with Norwegian: you are selling yourself with your profile. Legally, you’re certainly in a better position to discriminate with an OLD profile than you are with a store, but aesthetically and morally, both APPEAR to be about equally as repugnant, which is just not something a smart person does with either a business or a profile in modern times.

But your concern really isn’t from the seller’s point-of-view (after all, you call it allowable idiocy) – it’s the buyer’s. If you don’t understand why I would find “NO BLACKS!!!!!” on a profile (or store front) to be offensive, then I don’t even know what to tell you. I suppose you would have told me to just “slide right on by” those Klan members burning the cross in my uncle’s yard when I was a kid. Or my classmates that threatened me with lynching if I didn’t stop talking to white girls. Hell, they’re just words, right? Surely if we ignore these kinds of people, they’ll just go away. Or elect Trump. One or the other.

But do pray tell me why you can take offense to me labeling somebody we both agree is crude, crass and stupid as a “raging b*tch” if I can’t take offense to the same person screaming “NO BLACKS!!!!!!” in her profile?

“I’ve a friend on here who was/is very clear on her profile about who she is and what she wants… One thing guys are surprised about when they meet her is how truthful her profile is.”

One of the best things about being a woman is that you can be a “raging b*tch” right off the bat and still keep the interest of many men, which is, as we men readily admit, our own fault. I mean, to be perfectly honest, although I can’t recall off the top of my head sending a message to a woman I considered a “raging b*tch” in her profile, I’ve definitely dated and would continue to date women I discovered had really “bad” personalities, so long as they were attractive enough and I was desperate enough (which is, pretty much, always). However, I’ve never sent a message to even a polite-sounding woman who said something along the lines of “I prefer black men,” partially because I assume we would have very little in common but also just because that feels REALLY sketchy to me. And I’ve only come across this about 3 or 4 times out of the many hundreds of thousands of profiles I’ve browsed through in 2+ decades of OLD, but every very rare time I saw “I prefer short men,” I immediately knew I was dealing with a woman with serious psychological problems and quickly moved on to the next profile, regardless of what she looked like, because that’s just serious deviancy.

I remember telling this to my best friend once, and she said “And this is why you’re alone. That would be like me rejecting guys who are attracted to short voluptuous Hispanic women.” To which I responded: “Just how many guys have you gone out with that the first words out of their mouth were: ‘I’m attracted to short voluptuous Hispanic women’?” Which is one of the biggest differences between OLD (which she’s never been on since she’s been married more-or-less continuously since the 90s) and real life. This is just a very seriously artificial way to start a relationship -- not a WRONG way, just an artificial one, and writing your personal preferences for a significant other in a profile just makes it that much more artificial.

“Some of the posters above claim to be those things but their comments from their forum history are the exact opposite of what they claim to be.”

If there’s one thing I’ve never claimed to be in these forums, it’s “nice.” Indeed, I’m a deeply disturbed jerk. But you’ll have to forgive me if I don’t put that in my profile. I don’t want to come off as a raging b*tch.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 232
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/12/2019 3:28:35 PM

begin a rejection with an apology. "I'm sorry but".....to internet strangers, co-workers, friends, real life strangers....it's called common courtesy, certainly not arrogance.

The problem with this, is that arrogant people trying to be nice to "lesser" folk -- do this. It's actually not Common to do that, nor reply to anyone they're not into, and for good reason. Much the same that I'm not going to reply to every email I get from companies trying to sell me on anything. They are in no better position than someone online writing me, in terms of getting a reply. A big difference between getting an email from a place selling me something & someone knocking on my door trying to sell me candy bars. A big difference between getting a message from some who-knows person on a dating site, and a gal trying to generate conversation with me at the bar IRL. One warrants a response out of basic human interaction, the other doesn't.

Add to that, said person Explicitly Rejecting the other person via a dating site is highly likely Not going to explain Why (or truthfully Why) they *reject* them. When an online newbie gets over their qualms of never getting a reply -- it then becomes apparent why this isn't exactly "courteous". It's faux-courtesy. Which is why most people Don't do it. :)

The times where you will be crossing the non-courteous line is when you are bantering with them, Then decide you're not interested -- and then just "poof" gone. That said, saying you suddenly lost interest with no reason as to why isn't better at all. You're basically in close to the same boat as if exchanging #s with someone IRL at the bar or something with a stranger (after chatting), later exchanging some texts -- then ending up not interested. Except it has less weight to it, since you haven't met IRL.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 233
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/12/2019 4:28:32 PM

'It goes without saying'
:


people are idiots


There.
I fixed it.


I also don't assume that people are idiots


Take a closer look around you.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 234
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/12/2019 10:05:48 PM

Assuming what you do is what everyone else SHOULD do is indeed a point of arrogance. You don't have to be hostile about the point to be arrogant about it.


I'm sorry but I so totally disagree with you. I don't want or need to understand how a person I've met, with whom I feel I have no compatibility with, is "thinking or working". I don't need to be "playing the PART of the idiot" to provide a polite rejection which includes an "I'm sorry....but".

Did you read the whole thread?
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 235
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/17/2019 10:51:17 AM

Very succinctly put. I was a bit taken aback that my post was questioned in message 184.


Hello White Rose.
I was the use of the word "crass" that surprised me. Very strong word and seemingly very judgemental coming from a woman who posts I always enjoy and respect. Sorry.
 MyTrueCompanion
Joined: 9/20/2018
Msg: 236
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/17/2019 10:59:24 AM

I was a bit taken aback that my post was questioned in message 184.


NARCISSISM 101
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 237
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/17/2019 11:13:34 AM

Hello White Rose.
I was the use of the word "crass" that surprised me. Very strong word and seemingly very judgemental coming from a woman who posts I always enjoy and respect. Sorry.


Shirley - No apology necessary. I just thought her profile sounded insensitive. I agreed with Hawking. I think "Crass" was a good descriptor. I could have been much stronger.

crass Dictionary result for crass
/kras/Submit
adjective
lacking sensitivity, refinement, or intelligence.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 238
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/17/2019 12:17:04 PM
I am wondering If I said to someone "i am sorry etc etc-not happening " and they burst out laughing (if indeed, i was privy to that reaction) what might we the apologetic feel?
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 239
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/17/2019 1:02:52 PM
Hawking...


I agree with Norwegian: you are selling yourself with your profile.

Presenting one's self in the best light is not selling yourself.
In OLD, it's more about setting up a meet/date.
But... if you, NG, and others prefer to assume that a profile is selling oneself I'll concede the point since so many people believe it and I can deal in common beliefs even if I don't believe in them.


Legally, you’re certainly in a better position to discriminate with an OLD profile than you are with a store, but aesthetically and morally, both APPEAR to be about equally as repugnant, which is just not something a smart person does with either a business or a profile in modern times.

As far as I know, neither aesthetics nor morals are legally legislated.
I'm not sure I agree with them appear to be equally repugnant (the differences between OLD and purchasing something in a store have too many differences) - but it IS repugnant and not something an intelligent person does without serious forethought to the consequences.
So there's always the thought of 'was that intentional or simply stupidity'.
I try not to be insulted when people are not trying to insult me but are merely being 'stupid'.
ETA: And I agree with Fullmoon.


If you don’t understand why I would find “NO BLACKS!!!!!” on a profile (or store front) to be offensive, then I don’t even know what to tell you.

I do understand it is offensive to you. I find it offensive and (it was proven to me) I am prejudiced.
But isn't there a difference between someone presenting a public profile for dating purposes and saying 'I won't date black men' (no matter if it's in all caps or politely phrased) and someone physically threatening your life? Why waste your time and energy on someone who won't listen when it won't impact your life? Why call her a raging b*tch when she's merely stupid?

By 'allowable idiocy', I simply mean that it won't impact their lives in a large way. Unallowable idiocy is another matter entirely... leads to entry into The Darwin Awards.


However, I’ve never sent a message to even a polite-sounding woman who said something along the lines of “I prefer black men,” partially because I assume we would have very little in common but also just because that feels REALLY sketchy to me. And I’ve only come across this about 3 or 4 times out of the many hundreds of thousands of profiles I’ve browsed through in 2+ decades of OLD, but every very rare time I saw “I prefer short men,” I immediately knew I was dealing with a woman with serious psychological problems and quickly moved on to the next profile, regardless of what she looked like, because that’s just serious deviancy.

Perhaps you might what to try these women with 'serious deviancy' since you deviate from the norm of social perfection.
Your response to your best friend seems to indicate that it isn't the words you find objectionable, but the timing... i.e. "... that the first words out of their mouth were..."
Yes, OLD is seriously artificial means of beginning a relationship.
So?
We have artificial hearts and knees... they work.
With the continuous social upheaval of life, I'll take all the assistance I can get in dating.

I don't even claim to be nice in RL.
I can be a raging b*tch and trust me on this, putting a preference on a profile - no matter how rudely stated - is nowhere near 'raging b*tch'.

Which was why I didn't understand why you (and others) referred to her as one. I wasn't trying to belittle your experiences, I was trying to understand what a women has to do to be a raging b*tch to a man.
I still consider it a really low bar and will re-adjust my expectations of men when they talk about 'raging b*tches'.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 240
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/18/2019 1:32:08 PM
I am sorry to say that I believe that these forums should be entertaining and sometimes even questionably confrontational which makes them interesting to those seeking an outlet for boredom or depression.....but these long convoluted posting by a couple of guys are just tiresome. Is it just me?
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 241
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:14:20 PM
trying to sanction length, content, or contributions of our comrades is becoming a tedious bullying interruption of the forums.. moving on..

women and men know what they want-it is our compromise to obtain that want, that creates the represented cognitive dissonance-that indeed appears as confusion
but it IS repugnant
to be the excluded party.

ie wanting no exposure to certain energies-yet to participate in any aspect of a free society(including dating, we must subject ourselves to such; or, indeed, self segregate/isolate. be we male female if we do not always know how intense or if the energies can be defused.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 242
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:20:32 PM
but it IS repugnant-To indeed also be one who excludes and or exert control over equivalent human beingsIn order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 SurelyIamShirley
Joined: 7/22/2016
Msg: 243
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/19/2019 3:58:37 PM

trying to sanction length, content, or contributions of our comrades is becoming a tedious bullying interruption of the forums.. moving on.


I didn't realize that this has been an issue before. Apologies.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 244
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/19/2019 5:33:47 PM

Presenting one's self in the best light is not selling yourself.

Yes it is, actually. You're clear-as-day marketing yourself as the point. That's what it means to sell yourself.

In OLD, it's more about setting up a meet/date.

After you've sold yourselves on mutual initial interest, you go about setting up a date. But either way, you're selling/marketing yourself as a catch.

As far as I know, neither aesthetics nor morals are legally legislated.

True. You can say "I do NOT date black men/women!" -- in the rudest, scoffing way -- it's not illegal. You'll get sneered by others, but there's no parking ticket for that.

I'm not sure I agree with them appear to be equally repugnant

I'll agree that there's going to be more weight on one VS the other. But at the same time, the online profile is still going to bear a lot of weight. Especially if it reflects too much IRL.

I do understand it is offensive to you.

It's offensive to most people. "I DON'T DATE BLACKS!!!!" -- screams of ignorance, stupidity, but most of all attitude problems & angst.

But isn't there a difference between someone presenting a public profile for dating purposes and saying 'I won't date black men' (no matter if it's in all caps or politely phrased) and someone physically threatening your life?

That's a misnomer though. "I DON'T DATE SLUTS WHO HAVE KIDS OUTSIDE MARRIAGE!!" -- even if said politely, isn't that better than a guy physically threatening your life? Of course. So? That's not the point. The point is the guy is revealing he's got some serious emotional & POV problems, and it's not a small deal -- even for his own interests.

Why waste your time and energy on someone who won't listen when it won't impact your life?

I don't think one should actually write said girl or guy in said examples -- and I don't think a Vast majority of people who complain about them do. The point is, on a forum discussing it, they point out how F'd up they are. And logically so.

Why call her a raging b*tch when she's merely stupid?

In a public forum, referring to some profile out there one ran into in Either example -- you can refer to them as a raging [bleep] because that's what they are in those examples -- not merely stupid. Although an ACTUAL polite-as-it-can-be version -- then no, then you can make the argument that they are likely just stupid and not a raging [bleep]. How you say things and what you say in a profile reveals about one's attitude/persona. Which is why people, especially gals, like to see one write in theirs.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 245
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/20/2019 2:01:33 PM
NG...
You usually say things best when you limit it to less than 20 words.
Half the things you mention are simply trying to explain my point of view (I thought I explained it well enough) while the other half are trying to explain why I'm wrong.


That's a misnomer though. "I DON'T DATE SLUTS WHO HAVE KIDS OUTSIDE MARRIAGE!!" -- even if said politely, isn't that better than a guy physically threatening your life? Of course. So? That's not the point. The point is the guy is revealing he's got some serious emotional & POV problems, and it's not a small deal -- even for his own interests.

No, the point is that it won't get that far.
The point is to use the profile for what it was intended - to learn more about a person before inviting them for a date.

Hawking...
In one of the posts you say something about not dating women because they stipulate they date black men or they date short men and you "know" they're crazy and not a good fit for you. Yet in a later post, you say that your choices are dwindling because there of increasing age selections and there are only crazy women left in your area.
I'm detecting a logical fallacy between the you KNOW they're crazy and the you KNOW BECAUSE YOU ASSUME they're crazy since they will date you.
Merely something for you to think about and - perhaps - readjust your dating parameters to include those who state they will date short and/or black men.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 246
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/20/2019 2:21:01 PM
as a tall women there are some nice pro points to dating short (5' 4")men. While it is not a limit requirement for myself ; i can see where some taller women would find such positional, logistics extremely rewarding and possibly necessary for orgasmic reasons. this tall vs short seems to rear its head a lot..
it's ironic in this topic-we challenge preferences; however, offensive,petty, shallow, or grand-indeed clear expression of knowing exactly what we want or don't want
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 247
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/20/2019 4:25:05 PM
“But... if you, NG, and others prefer to assume that a profile is selling oneself I'll concede the point since so many people believe it and I can deal in common beliefs even if I don't believe in them.”

Don’t you remember what dating websites sprang from? Personal ads. *ADS* As in “advertising.” Which you use to SELL things. Dating websites are literally a continuation of a form of newspaper advertising, and your profile is your ad, and the product you are selling is a date/meeting with you. How you do not see that connection is rather puzzling.

“Why waste your time and energy on someone who won't listen when it won't impact your life? Why call her a raging b*tch when she's merely stupid?”

Just to clarify: I’m calling said-person a “raging b*tch” here in the forums. Where all we do is waste time and energy on people that won’t listen. I’m not sending “I am offended” messages to women with profiles that offend me and getting into pointless back-and-forths with the ones that actually respond. I’m just telling you, the forum people, how I feel when I see such an ad/profile, because that’s the time and energy wasting discussion here. My actual behavior when coming across such an ad is to think “Raging b*tch,” then immediately move on to the next profile.

“Yes, OLD is seriously artificial means of beginning a relationship. So?”

Again, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing – hell, the vast majority of women I’ve had dates with I met through OLD. I’m just saying, it’s artificial and certain behaviors on here make it feel even more artificial. Imagine going into a bar and everybody’s wearing a shirt that lists the type of people they will date. That’s the equivalent of OLD.

My one true ex-girlfriend and I got to know each other over a year of working together before deciding we liked each other enough to date. That’s exactly the opposite of OLD – as natural as it gets. There’s not much doubt if we had never worked together but came across each other on OLD, she would have swiped left or deleted my message unread (and to be completely fair, when I met her, I didn’t think “Goddamn, this girl is hot!” – I’m not saying I wouldn’t have sent a message to her [depending on her profile preferences] and certainly I would have swiped right because she was cute enough, but I also had to get to know her before I *really* wanted to date her). Now certainly my “complaint” about the artificiality of OLD is rooted in my long term failures and “bottom 1% status” on it – probably wouldn’t give a damn how artificial it is if it was getting me dates left and right.

“I still consider it a really low bar and will re-adjust my expectations of men when they talk about 'raging b*tches'.”

I’m just curious: what is your bar for “raging b*tch” if public rude racism doesn’t come close to meeting it?

“Yet in a later post, you say that your choices are dwindling because there of increasing age selections and there are only crazy women left in your area. I'm detecting a logical fallacy between the you KNOW they're crazy and the you KNOW BECAUSE YOU ASSUME they're crazy since they will date you.”

Surely you’ve seen many of us in these forums quote/paraphrase Groucho Marx/Woody Allen before: “I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would have me as a member”/ “I wouldn’t want to date any woman that would date somebody like me.”

I’m pretty sure I didn’t say every woman left is “crazy.” I’m pretty sure what I said is that every woman left has “issues.” Which aren’t necessarily being crazy. Super-selective, crazy exes/baby daddy drama, etc. isn’t “crazy,” just highly problematic baggage. I also don’t consider a racial/ethnic preference of any type to be “crazy” as this is one of if not the most common human preferences, but publicly announcing it is sometimes a sign of crazy, sometimes a sign of just plain dumb. This is quite different from height: any woman who prefers short men (as opposed to just not caring about height) is in an EXTREME minority, probably 0.001% of all women, making that extremely socially deviant behavior by scientific definition. I mean, there are literally more women attracted to dogs, and pretty much everyone thinks women sexually attracted to dogs are crazy. That’s just too much for me, but at the same time, it’s so uncommon that I don’t really have to worry about it. It’s like worrying about being struck by lightning.

Just make sure you understand me: there is a difference between having a preference for some trait and not caring about that trait or being willing to make an exception for someone with a “negative” trait. There is no doubt that every woman I have dated fell into category 2 (that is, not caring/making an exception) – and although most of them were also “crazy” (or at least had serious “issues”), I am fine with dating such women. I don’t remember a single date saying “I dated you because you’re short” (most didn’t know how tall I was until after we had already connected) or “I dated you because you’re black/mixed” – indeed I ended up being just about the only non-white guy all the white women I dated ever dated, so they obviously made an exception or were being experimental or they just truly didn’t see race, and to the best of my knowledge, most of my dates also dated much taller guys, so they obviously weren’t short guy freaks.

So although there are certainly far less such “open minded” women close to my age now than, say, 15+ years ago when most of those dates were happening, just due to the fact that there are less single women period, I still believe there are quite a few of them, and I’m not sure why I’d have to resort to women whose preferences are ridiculously narrow... even if those preferences somehow include me. More importantly, again I point out: I probably have very little in common with such women anyway. But as I've also pointed out: I just don't care much about that. The last thing I can be getting picky about is common interests. If there's mutual physical attraction, I just gotta make it work, because that is such a rare thing in my life, and I shouldn't be dating women that I'm not attracted to (that always ends up REALLY bad). Yeah, yeah -- probably a lot of contradictions here. That's what happens when you try to make romance empirical.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 248
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/20/2019 5:06:30 PM

making that extremely socially deviant behavior by scientific definition.
I mean, there are literally more women attracted to dogs, and pretty much everyone thinks women sexually attracted to dogs are crazy. That’s just too much for me, but at the same time, it’s so uncommon that I don’t really have to worry about it. It’s like worrying about being struck by lightning.
where do you get these literal stats? please in future cite source.. and have you been struck by lightning? because you claim to have seen profiles of women who prefer short men..
analyzing this statement" comparing attractions to short men as less popular and more scientifically "socially deviant" than bestiality> and that racial/ethnic exclusion is more understandable ie socially normal, to you> than, preferring a non ethnic related physical attraction> even to believe a fallacy that short male/tall or short female pairings are so abnormal- not sure how to unpack any of this...
a little exposure outside your comfort zone . the women and men i know that chose outside of standard norm pairings, often are those who have confidence in their own gender identity.. Therefore a partner isn't chosen to confirm masculine or feminine identity of self, (a choice rooted in objectification of another human) rather the quality of the pairing: character synchronization is most valuable.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 249
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/21/2019 6:33:55 AM
“where do you get these literal stats? please in future cite source.. and have you been struck by lightning? because you claim to have seen profiles of women who prefer short men..”

I’m just saying, I’ve come across a lot of woman-animal bestiality on the internet without even looking for it (yeah, many are probably actors engaging in such activity for the pleasure of men more so than their own pleasure, but does that even matter for classifying the behavior as deviant?), yet I’ve been on OLD for 20 years, and I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I’ve come across a profile in which a woman explicitly stated she was attracted to short men, or for that matter even had a low height maximum. Conversely, there are a zillion threads on this site alone about women seeking tall men and with minimum height qualifications.

Interestingly, I have been struck by lightning. Not directly, but from a tree I was under. I do live in Florida, after all. Approximately 250,000 people are struck by lightning each year. That’s one out of every 28,000 people. Considering I have contacted over 20,000 women on POF alone, I’ve certainly seen hundreds of thousands if not millions of profiles across all OLD over the years, so in fact you could argue I am MORE likely to be struck by lightning (especially in this state) than to come across a woman’s profile that prefers short men, as that rate is more than 1 out of 100,000.

“even to believe a fallacy that short male/tall or short female pairings are so abnormal-”

How is that a fallacy? Less than 5% of couples involve a woman being taller than the man:

https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/how-common-is-it-for-a-man-to-be-shorter-than-his-partner/

As for your last paragraph, you act as if I care if my date is taller than me. It’s not me who’s caring about such things. That said, I don’t tend to initiate with taller women because that’s just completely inefficient, since women overwhelmingly want their men to be taller. But if a taller woman expressed interest in me, I wouldn’t hesitate... at least, not because she was taller. I might hesitate for a number of other reasons. For example, the first girl that kissed me was 5’10”, but I didn’t pursue that because she was 1) Underage [I was in my mid-20s – yes, I know] 2) had a big, dangerous, insane boyfriend [not really sure what she was trying to do with me] 3) was by all indications insane herself, and not merely because she kissed a guy a half foot shorter than her. Okay, to be fair, she probably wasn’t “insane” – just a troubled teenager trying to figure the world out ("Women Don't Know What They Want"), but she most definitely was not normal by even teenage standards.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 250
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/21/2019 9:04:00 AM
because you claim to have seen profiles of women who prefer short men..”???? done with your nonsense blah blah blah and my sister and i than other two no so fifty percent right there . 267,264 heterosexual couples …sample in 2015 netherlands couples study so thinkkng the results of 2013 apx 12.5k sampling of couples is kinda limited.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Women Don't Know What They Want