Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Women Don't Know What They Want      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 251
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They WantPage 11 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
In Match,com as well as some other lesser known sites their profiles list their height preferences, Maximum and Minimums -- it doesn't take 12,500 profiles to prove that people seek above average statistics a vast majority of the time. I'd venture further to say the ONLY profiles I have encountered that allow a preference for a shorter men's height (say, 5'5" or so) are the profiles that never set ANY preference - so they are listed as the full gamut (4 ft to 7 ft or whatever).

From the previous post article link...

Correction:
A previous version of this article incorrectly said that if heterosexual couples were randomly assigned, the chance of the man being the same height or shorter than the woman would be 26 percent higher than it is in reality. That chance is 36 percent higher (10.2 percent vs. 7.5 percent) than it is in reality.


I don't like exaggerating numbers between 10.2 and 7.5 as "36 percent higher" because it's done for dramatic effect, but it does show that particular height preference is indeed fairly low - and lower than random chance - so there IS a bit of height discrimination involved.

People have come in here tossing out statistics to prove their arguments with far less than a sample of 25,000 Brits. Some think their opinion is the only one that matters. In this online world where we are all Masters of our Domain behind glowing screens, it's hard to prove to anyone a different mode of thinking. It's not like we get a cookie for agreeing, or an electrical shock when we don't.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 252
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/21/2019 5:35:49 PM
another female friend told me today she has always Been attracted to"Asian"*sic. men, why? because her words were "they are dark, short, and cute.." get hit by lightning or have limitations-quote stats to validate opinions ! we all know manipulating statistics is a trained skill, art.. i am not giving cookies or electric volts..
and you bet i feel and know height discrimination is real: since 13yrs of age- i grew seven inches the summer after my twelfth b-day:the seven foot tall(Tig,hyperbole)boys were crushing on girls under 5'6" ...
so when you see those height stats, realize where and how discrimination, and discriminating preferences fall... and what you contribute to statistics. i am an outlier..
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 253
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/22/2019 3:20:32 PM
“sample in 2015 netherlands couples study so thinkkng the results of 2013 apx 12.5k sampling of couples is kinda limited.”

As a professional statistician (for another week, anyway), I can tell you that a properly compiled random sample of about 1000 can very accurately predict behavior for a country with a population of 325 million (i.e., the United States) – the vast majority of surveys done in this country for presidential candidates are around 1000 persons, and the most respected ones have been eerily accurate for decades when it comes to the popular vote (electoral college, not so much). By that standard, 12,500 for a much smaller country is overkill, but to be fair, those studies weren’t completely random samples, hence 11,000 more than necessary helps make up for that factor.

The first “paragraph” of your second post is so far all over the place and without focus that I don’t know for sure what to say about it. But I’ve gotten the “Asian men” comparison a lot, and you know what? I’m not Asian. Study after study shows in the United States that Asians are much more highly desired by the overall population than those with African ancestry. Furthermore, those with some sort of Asian obsession expect them to fit the short and brainy stereotype. Those with an African obsession expect them to fit a big/tall/athletic stereotype. One of my best friends, a white woman (of course) is so obsessed with Asians she ended up nearly marrying one and almost marrying another (interestingly, both are average height for American men), but never showed much romantic/sexual interest in those with African ancestry at all, including yours truly. You can’t extrapolate a stereotypical characteristic of a person of one culture to another culture – those attracted to short cute Asians aren’t going to automatically find anyone short attractive, and that’s ESPECIALLY true with Asian women.

As for the second half: I’m pretty sure I’ve agreed 100% with you somewhere in these forums, probably many times and undoubtedly recently, that tall women have many of the same dating problems as short men. I won’t repeat everything here I said just yesterday in this thread, so check out post #74:

https://forums.plentyoffish.com/16744821datingPostpage3.aspx
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 254
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/22/2019 4:09:21 PM
I think online dating definitely amplifies it because it focuses on our profile statistics. In real life I have liked guys that were an inch or two shorter than me. When I was 20 I really liked a guy who was in the poli-sci club with me. We were hanging out a lot. We actually made out once after a toga social and he told me he liked me and he had been the one to initiate it all. But the next day he avoided me and after that point he kept his distance. A week later he started dating another girl in our group and it wasn't until maybe half a year later at karaoke night when we were both there at a table alone that I brought it up that I thought he was interested in me before but had been kind of sad that he'd started dating the other girl. He confessed that he had liked me but said it wouldn't work because I was taller, said his high school girlfriend was taller and it always made him feel small. I think that's a big reason many guys want someone visibly shorter or much shorter than them because it makes them feel more manly or something. I will admit now that I have tried to date shorter men a couple times in this past year because tall guys rarely message me but I won't do it again because being with a guy whose shorter or much skinnier makes me feel like an elephant. I'm not so self-conscious about my weight when I'm with a guy whose a couple inches taller than me.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 255
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/22/2019 4:58:41 PM

I think online dating definitely amplifies it because it focuses on our profile statistics.


That's because people allow themselves to fall into the trap.



He confessed that he had liked me but said it wouldn't work because I was taller, said his high school girlfriend was taller and it always made him feel small.




because being with a guy whose shorter or much skinnier makes me feel like an elephant.




I'm not so self-conscious about my weight when I'm with a guy whose a couple inches taller than me.


That's just people playing mind games with themselves.

Like people's "masculinity" and "femininity" and self-worth are so fragile and fluid that it all depends on who they are standing next to?

 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 256
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/22/2019 6:30:54 PM
But it does depend on who you are standing next to. When I see a short man with a tall woman or a fat woman with a skinny man I do think its odd. And the short man would look much more obviously short and the fat woman much more obviously fat.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 257
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/22/2019 6:42:17 PM
^^ I've seen a 6ft 4 guy that was with a 4ft 11(tiny) woman. I t looked very odd. 20 years ago I knew a couple exactly like it too. Odd couple 0_O
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 258
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/22/2019 10:31:59 PM
I think it looks odd too but guys don't mind being way taller and girls don't mind being way shorter. Our neighbours growing up consisted of a 6'3 man and a 4'11 woman.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 259
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/23/2019 7:01:24 AM
and people used to think a black man with a white woman (or vice versa) looked odd...
thankfully most of us have evolved passed that stupidity....

it's time to quit caring what others think....and do what makes us happy.
My 5'5" guy makes me beyond happy....because I don't care what anyone else thinks about his height...
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 260
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/23/2019 8:14:19 AM
^^Hallelujah for MsM-is clearly a woman who knows exactly what she wants and is happy with what she wants and is not affected by anybody stats or stereotypes ^^ i will say it again the op is supporting promoting stereotypes and divisiveness. supporting or believing such in our own lives will impede and create divisiveness -male vs female- rather than an experienced claimed happy partnering-MsM,again many thanks for your sanity, it shines through when i read your post...
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 261
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/23/2019 8:40:44 AM

My 5'5" guy makes me beyond happy....because I don't care what anyone else thinks about his height...

Miss Micki, but you are a short woman and your man is still taller than you. I am almost 5"9 and I want a guy who is at least my height. Sure, it may be superficial but the facts remain that many men feel inadequate when a girlfriend is taller, stronger or makes more money than them and that does not make for a good relationship.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 262
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/23/2019 8:52:27 AM

i will say it again the op is supporting promoting stereotypes and divisiveness.


Have you ever had to date one of these waste's of oxygen? I've experienced it first hand.

1st date ok. quick meet and cheeky kiss.

2nd date. half of it talking about her ex and how she goes every week to sort his money so people don't take advantage, and yes he had issues and only person taking advantage was her. I haven't even scraped the surface.

The other 1/4(maybe bit more) grilling me about my 17 year relationship that ended years ago to a woman I don't speak to as my lad is an adult. then the other 1/4 just talking utter sh!t at me. After that she expected to get a kiss. I tried but could only kiss her forehead in disgust. She was toast instantly. Never in my life have I reacted like that when kissing a woman. ever. Not a stereotype. They exist. Fact.

The last thing on a date I want to talk about is an ex. I want to learn about the woman I'm dating like what does she think about random things. Fav colour. favourite comedian etc etc etc.

Funny how the same woman lost her place of dwelling and moved back into her ex's while trying to go from one branch to another. But she is looking for an understanding guy now of current profile lol.

P!ss poor excuse for a human being. I never told her why I got rid. I'll just leave it for guys to find out how crap she is first hand. I wouldn't like them to fall for her since she is so forthcoming with here so called stereotypical bullshit bullshit as you put it. ;)

smh .......
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 263
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/23/2019 8:58:57 AM


Sure, it may be superficial but the facts remain that many men feel inadequate when a girlfriend is taller, stronger or makes more money than them and that does not make for a good relationship.


Doesn't sound like facts to me. Seems like it's usually the female who won't consider a male who is shorter, makes less money, has less education, etc. Men seem to be more open minded about being in an atypical relationship in which she is taller, richer, etc. For example, I have a 4 year degree and am willing to date someone with a master's degree or a doctor's degree, but the ones with those degrees typically want someone with the same or higher education. I for one have no reason to feel "inadequate" if she has more $. Am not materialistic. I consider people with just a high school diploma wiser because they join the real world sooner than people with degrees. Taller is OK with me as long as she was born female and isn't a tall man who had a gender change operation!
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 264
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/23/2019 12:03:11 PM


Miss Micki, but you are a short woman and your man is still taller than you

Actually....we are damn near the same height. within less than a 1/2 inch.
And since he is retired....I do technically make more money than him per month.
and I can promise you....the man feels absolutely no inadequacies over either difference, because I'm lucky enough
to have a man that considers his woman to be his equal...no matter her stature or income.

and yep....it is superficial....and the fact that does remain is you are single and hate it...
and I am not!!
If I had overlooked him because of his height....I'd have been a fool.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 265
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/23/2019 2:44:25 PM
most of what is used on OLD is superficial. first and foremost, the pic. you can tell a little 'if' you look past height, weight etc. but not enough to judge them. next, the profile. how much can you really tell by that? a few common interests and if your lucky, common values but again, a lot is missed. you will never know the 'real' person until you meet and spend a little time together.
 Inicia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 266
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/23/2019 3:17:42 PM
true jz-i'm just trying to get some simpatico messages and phone calls that will move me to a meet at this point. lol
MsM nobody will accuse you of confusing mumbo jumbo.. lol👣👌
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 267
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/24/2019 7:01:19 PM

He confessed that he had liked me but said it wouldn't work because I was taller, said his high school girlfriend was taller and it always made him feel small. I think that's a big reason many guys want someone visibly shorter or much shorter than them because it makes them feel more manly or something.

I don't think he represents how most short guys (5'7" and under) feel, unless there's a Big difference -- if all we're talking about is casually seeing each other on the side. But from my take on it in the dating world, what girls & guys observe/say -- in the end, he questions the gal's interest down the line. Most short guys I've talked with who've had more than their fair share of active dating years have said most gals notably taller than them end up having second thoughts after a little while. Not that it can't feed off the fear on his end (self-fufilling prophecy). But you hear gals say "Oh, I can wear heels again!" when they're dating a guy taller than she. I think in his case though -- yeah, if he had an LTR with a gal taller than him, he'd gravitate more toward the shorter gal when he's juggling two chicks as options (all other things being roughly equal).

But when the guy's short -- it's a double-effect. Not just her liking a guy who's taller than she (normal) and can wear heels and not worry about x/y/z to a small extent... but he's a short guy in the room -- which is statistically an issue even if he's still a bit taller than she!

^^ I've seen a 6ft 4 guy that was with a 4ft 11(tiny) woman. I t looked very odd. 20 years ago I knew a couple exactly like it too. Odd couple

It sticks out, but it's not as odd as seeing a 5'11" gal with a 5'6" guy. Much smaller inch difference, much more 'oddness'. Mainly because we wouldn't expect them to be a couple, but just friends. The oddness in people's eyes prove itself when guys will actually mingle/flirt with the tall gal, as they don't think they're actually together or anything. Maybe they had some buzzed flirting after a few drinks -- or maybe a charity/internet date, but they can't really be together, can they? Seeing a Tall guy and a Short gal -- with over 2x the height difference, does stick out as a little odd, but in a different way + not questionable as far as potential lack of attraction.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 268
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/25/2019 10:38:35 AM
There are a LOT of women locally on the dating sites that are a little on the tall side - 5'8, 5'9, 5'10"
Many are adamant in their profiles about finding a six foot guy - even though they have been on these sites for a decade and have had dozens of opportunities.
I've encountered a few of them at local watering holes.

Now, maybe it's because they literally stand out in a crowd - but if any guy who is on the taller side walks in - say, 6' 4" or better -- the taller ladies swivel their heads around 270 degrees like an Owl to scan them like prey. Active conversations with whomever just stop for a second. Like dumping a gazelle into the lion exhibit at the zoo. Physique doesn't seem to matter much - fat or skinny - anyone that needs to duck through a doorway, it's like a smoke alarm goes off in their ear.

There's two taller guys at the local spot that are regulars - they are pretty much idiot alcoholic bums -- but the heads still turn, every time they enter.
I used to get jealous. Now, I want to catch the moment on video and add sound effects - it's funny enough to get thousands of hits.

You can argue all you want about women not knowing what they want. We can criticize them for a thousand years for the choices they make. Ladies can poke fun at guys for turning into drooling idiots when some supermodel enters the place and almost the same thing happens. They can deny attraction all they want, insisting they are better at making choices --- but the Owls don't lie. Height matters. A lot.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 269
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/25/2019 11:46:34 AM
I think really tall guys get noticed just because they're tall.
Women who have nice bodies get noticed even if they're not necessarily
all that attractive.

Conversely, really short people get noticed and really unattractive people
get noticed as well.

Tall guys who are really attractive are going to be magnets...it's just how
things are. You learn to deal with what you were dealt.

I'm average height and average looks...like most people. So I don't get
looks when I walk in a room. I've never pouted about it. I make friends
easily and I've not found it difficult to meet people to date IRL.

It's in here with everyone's stats put out there that you run into problems.
No one is looking beyond that...I get that too.

So maybe OLD isn't for everyone or isn't for anyone who hasn't learned to
compensate for what they think their imperfections are.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 270
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 2/25/2019 6:54:09 PM

Now, maybe it's because they literally stand out in a crowd - but if any guy who is on the taller side walks in - say, 6' 4" or better -- the taller ladies swivel their heads around 270 degrees like an Owl to scan them like prey.

Stand out in the crowd combined with them being a taller guy they feel more comfortable matching up with -- will cause them to give a look-over (doesn't mean he's a hunk). I guess like a short guy seeing a "spinner" walk into the bar.

I think really tall guys get noticed just because they're tall.

As far as sticking-out in the crowd From Far Away, sure. But not all bars are crowded elbow to elbow. Being noticed doesn't = attraction. Trust me, I tried. The damn clown outfit with fangs didn't work (shucks).

Women who have nice bodies get noticed even if they're not necessarily all that attractive.

Yes, but noticed in an attractive way; that's different. And if they have delicious bodies, that does make them attractive. That said, what's above their shoulders could even it out, or in rare times nix attraction altogether... but in general, it's the Attraction that draws things in. To a tall gal at a crowded bar mall-watching, a tall guy across the room will perk the sensors to give it a look-over to See If he's attractive.

Conversely, really short people get noticed and really unattractive people get noticed as well.

True. Although in a super crowded bar, the short guy won't -- although the short gal will still get noticed if the shorter guys have their eyes peeled below the radar.

So maybe OLD isn't for everyone or isn't for anyone who hasn't learned to compensate for what they think their imperfections are.

OLD gives short guys the shorter end of the stick (no pun intended). Everyone who's looking for or should be looking for date potentials should still use it (convenience), but for those like short guys -- it shouldn't be substituted for IRL out of convenience, as time passes.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 271
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 3/3/2019 12:08:30 PM

Went on just 2 dates from here and so far, they honestly don't know what they are looking for in a man. They come with all kinds of drama and extra baggage.

If you are going to date, then try and leave the baggage behind. Not cool when you start to talk about your ex and just rant all night about why you're not married with 4 kids and how every guy you met has cheated on you....

Wow...


Isn't this kind of obvious? You're doing online dating and expecting to meet people without baggage? LOL


I think really tall guys get noticed just because they're tall.
Women who have nice bodies get noticed even if they're not necessarily
all that attractive.

Conversely, really short people get noticed and really unattractive people
get noticed as well.

Tall guys who are really attractive are going to be magnets...it's just how
things are. You learn to deal with what you were dealt.

I'm average height and average looks...like most people. So I don't get
looks when I walk in a room. I've never pouted about it. I make friends
easily and I've not found it difficult to meet people to date IRL.

It's in here with everyone's stats put out there that you run into problems.
No one is looking beyond that...I get that too.

So maybe OLD isn't for everyone or isn't for anyone who hasn't learned to
compensate for what they think their imperfections are.


Nope. It's just human nature. Women in general like tall men and men like small women. An average looking guy that's 5'5 is going to be way less attractive to women than another average looking guy that's 6 foot. Those "stats" affect a person's dating life online and offline.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 272
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 3/4/2019 8:21:17 PM

It's just human nature. Women in general like tall men and men like small women.

It isn't Balanced in opposite directions like that implies, though. A tall cute blonde is going to draw all the guys' eyes of attraction in a bar. A short but otherwise cute guy isn't going to draw all of the ladies' eyes at all (but if he's cute enough, he will draw some petite women small her than she; as long as he doesn't Stick Out as a real 'shorty'; YMMV).
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 273
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 3/5/2019 11:17:27 AM

Nope. It's just human nature. Women in general like tall men and men like small women. An average looking guy that's 5'5 is going to be way less attractive to women than another average looking guy that's 6 foot. Those "stats" affect a person's dating life online and offline.


Just because you said Nope doesn't make it true.
It's not human nature if it's in general.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 274
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 3/5/2019 11:49:42 PM

Just because you said Nope doesn't make it true.

True, but, his main remark:

An average looking guy that's 5'5 is going to be way less attractive to women than another average looking guy that's 6 foot.

... is quite common-sense. If anyone questions that, they have a lot to learn. Surveys + basic human observation shows this is common-sense true.

It's not human nature if it's in general.

I disagree. Not everyone does something that's in human nature to do. Not everything that people desire/do in general is at the core of human nature, but what's human nature is what people in general will desire/do, right?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 275
view profile
History
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 3/6/2019 10:33:31 AM
I notice tall people all the time.
But I'm not attracted to all of them.
For attraction, I tend to notice other things.
I'm not sure I understood what you were saying there
with human nature in general doing whatever, but I'll
agree because it sort of makes sense and it's you, and
I usually agree with you, even if I don't always understand what you're
saying...hahahaha!

Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Women Don't Know What They Want