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 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 126
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Women Don't Know What They WantPage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
For, the record, I'm okay with overweight.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 127
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/18/2018 3:51:23 AM

In the big cities it can take people 2 hours each way to and from work. That is if their is no major delays.


Downtown Boston is about a seven-minute drive from my place, without delays. On the MBTA, if everything runs right which rarely does, it's a little more, depending on where in the city I want to go. However, these travel occasions on that time frame are far and few in between.

Come snow, holiday congestion, torrential rain, major "T extension work, construction of new high-schools or affordable 'luxury' condos, or the occasional M***hole that cuts you off and gets into an accident a little further down 93, can take you hours, just to get through.
 Kevin116
Joined: 8/7/2018
Msg: 128
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/18/2018 6:52:28 PM
quote] Went on just 2 dates from here and so far, they honestly don't know what they are looking for in a man. They come with all kinds of drama and extra baggage.

If you are going to date, then try and leave the baggage behind. Not cool when you start to talk about your ex and just rant all night about why you're not married with 4 kids and how every guy you met has cheated on you....

Wow...

you gotta go out on dates lol been here for 2 years without an Only one date lol
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 129
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/19/2018 8:53:39 PM
Ditto for men- or in general the human species_it is not gender specific-but thinking that is IQ specific...Your Welcome
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 130
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/19/2018 9:24:01 PM
^^^
LOL Well said.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 131
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/20/2018 6:48:23 AM

If you are going to date, then try and leave the baggage behind. Not cool when you start to talk about your ex and just rant all night about why you're not married with 4 kids and how every guy you met has cheated on you....


Part of the process of leaving baggage behind is time. A lot of people are overly anxious to find a new boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance five minutes after breaking up with someone. They don't take time to get over a breakup, and follow the motto "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone."

Another thing that is common is Revenge dating. People try to set up dates immediately after a breakup to prove to an ex that he/she isn't needed to have a love life with, and don't try to keep it a secret, to ensure the ex finds out-with the goal of enraging the ex. They are basically giving the ex the middle finger. So much for the "happily ever after" wedding vows.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 132
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/20/2018 8:39:14 AM
I have had to think about my motives for dating post-divorce. I think they've changed in the past year. I waited almost 4 months which wasn't long enough. For me, personally, I just wanted to see if anyone still would find me desireable. I needed validation and I was kind of feeling mad that my ex left me for someone else and it was hard to see him happy with someone while I was still alone. I was also coping with loneliness having my kids gone on weekends with their dad.

After a few months I decided maybe I should just focus on just getting into the swing of things and figure myself out. I wasn't ready for serious. Plus my ex moved so the kids weren't spending time at his place so I no longer had kidfree evenings/weekends. I decided to try for a fwb relationship. Eventually got one in mid-May and it was good. The guy was really nice to me and we were in the same place in our lives, he was newly split with a couple little kids, dealing with a lot of ex-drama and I really liked talking to him. He made me feel really good about myself both mentally and physically. We almost quit seeing each other when he almost got back with his ex (he wanted to do it for the kids but ultimately he just couldn't do it because she had been the one to dump him and she told him she wanted an open marriage if they got back together). I don't see him that often as he works down in the States 3 weeks in and 3 weeks off but when I do see him he still makes me feel good and the sex really helps me do away with a lot of stress, he just has this ability to make me forget about a lot of problems and I find I'm actually a way happier person on the whole for a few days after spending time with him. Yes, I have feelings for him but I will never ever tell him about because I don't want to lose what I have. He made it clear a couple months ago that he's not wanting a relationship although I did see that he changed his status since then on POF to wanting a relationship so I am just assuming he doesn't want one with me. Every time I talk to him and every time I spend time with him, I remind myself it might be the last time but he never does tell me its over so the longer I can keep it going the better. Plus he's probably moving in the near future so maybe he's waiting for things to end naturally. Hopefully that's the way it will end because then I won't have to feel the pain of rejection.

I don't want fwb again. I want a real relationship, I want to be able to go out for supper or to a movie or for a long walk with someone. However, I know I have neither the time nor money to manage it. So when things do end with my current guy, I probably won't try for anything for a few years. Probably every so often I will get lonely and want to have a temporary thing with a guy but I'll end up realizing its out of my reach and abandon the idea for a while. I kind of just feel stuck between wanting something and knowing I can't have it.
 bearcat44
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 133
Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/21/2018 4:40:15 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQfBt_GxYaI
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 134
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/23/2018 10:44:47 AM
^ post on topic or create your own post in off topic.. please
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 135
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 10/23/2018 1:57:28 PM
^^ ^ ^ and ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ Better yet...……...Don't let the door slam on the way out!

(Directed to bearcat, NOT Initia)
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 136
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oh, they know--and they're certain they don't want it from you
Posted: 10/23/2018 2:16:01 PM
"for the record, i'm ok with overweight"

>>>yes, ladies get a benefit of that--bigger curves. i'd say guys get screwed once again, but then that'd sound like MGTOW whining. ;)
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 137
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oh, they know--and they're certain they don't want it from you
Posted: 10/23/2018 2:39:23 PM
Bearcat is history. Looking at the last 25 posts in these forums, all he did was spam his MGTOW video links in all kinds of threads. I'm surprised someone didn't catch and report the dude a week ago.

I still take the stand that more people know what they do NOT want than what they actually do. Make a list of both - see which one gets filled up first. Maybe it's time to check that list again and realize it's not about the items themselves - but maybe how you tolerate them.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 138
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oh, they know--and they're certain they don't want it from you
Posted: 10/23/2018 3:36:23 PM
"I still take the stand that more people know what they do NOT want than what they actually do."

When I see profiles where someone lists all of the things they don't want in a mate, it tells me they are not over their ex, and are listing all of the perceived bad things about their ex.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 139
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oh, they know--and they're certain they don't want it from you
Posted: 10/23/2018 3:56:33 PM
there are things I do not want but rather pick by what I do want. too many profiles with "the list" of what they don't want and run from those. in my opinion, some weed out prospects by what they don't want and settle for what is left. I prefer to find what I do want and then decide what I can tolerate and what is a deal breaker.
 AdjBattle
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 140
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 11/9/2018 4:18:24 PM
Original poster I had a similar date with a girl with alot of baggage and broke the cardinal rules of dating, talking about her ex, asking about my most recent ex and why she broke up with me. If someone is coming to a date with that kind of baggage I think they haven't been single for long enough to look at what they could improve upon themselves to become better people.
 Kevin116
Joined: 8/7/2018
Msg: 141
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 11/12/2018 8:58:25 AM

Went on just 2 dates from here and so far, they honestly don't know what they are looking for in a man. They come with all kinds of drama and extra baggage.

If you are going to date, then try and leave the baggage behind. Not cool when you start to talk about your ex and just rant all night about why you're not married with 4 kids and how every guy you met has cheated on you....

Wow...


I'm too busy being a lockdown in POF jail. AKA I'm not allowed to email.
 Kevin116
Joined: 8/7/2018
Msg: 142
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 11/12/2018 9:02:47 AM

Why don’t you look at it as.....oh well, but I got out, had a nice enough night and maybe learnt something about them and me...you’ve probably got a lot more of these dates to get through before you find the one, so maybe just enjoy it for what it is..... "


not go find somebody
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 143
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 11/12/2018 10:00:26 AM
Call me inappropriate and sherlock holmes- but i do send out feelers about prospective dates- past relationships-i want to exclude bitter angry people who have generalized women based on past experiences-i never request details-try to be diplomatic-but not interested in a relationship i need compensate for every past perceived injury-and surely the same feelers are sent out by those who date me- we often avoid those we feel have not recovered from their past-same as familial relationships-in my dating age range if you still blame parents or have shitty familial relations-with no good reason- i am going to fold..
 MichaelD1974
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 144
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 11/12/2018 10:34:45 AM
Many women know what they want when they find that ideal partner. When other guys do not meet that image, the women just wing it.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 145
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 11/12/2018 2:51:56 PM

I want to exclude bitter angry people who have generalized women based on past experiences.


Agreed. I do it. Not one woman ever wanted to discuss it with me. So by assumption, I can only deal with what I know. I'm willing to listen to any woman that like to debate that with me. On a one on one basis. That must be too much to ask, because I get no takers. You can't reform anyone by ignoring them. I've gotten plenty of nasty cracks aimed at me. I 'll counter everytime with some more, aimed at the server.

There is nothing more free than a person that has nothing to lose.
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 146
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 11/17/2018 8:10:39 PM
^ and you sling them nasties without provocation.
 MtRushmore1970
Joined: 10/3/2014
Msg: 147
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Women Don't Know What They Want
Posted: 11/23/2018 6:52:22 AM

Any talk of an ex and I am done with them.


Same here. Not interested in being shoved down the list of importance; beneath the kids they have under their roof and the ex they can't let go of.
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