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 AUTHOR
 ChorusAurora
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 26
Having something to offer..!!!!Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
msg 22 julystorm7:
I really suck at car stuff so it would be really awesome if a guy had skills in that area. Like, for instance, I need new wiper blades on my car so I have to find someone who can do that for me. I never had to deal with car stuff before. I actually am kind of intimidated going up to the automotive counter at Canadian Tire to ask them to book me an appointment to put the blades on. If I have something that breaks down on my vehicle, no idea how I'm going to actually get to talk to a mechanic. They really intimidate me. I don't like talking to people when I know very little about what's being talked about


When my husband was alive, I never had to deal with that 'car stuff' either. It is kind of intimidating when you no diddly about cars and other such so-called guy stuff.

What I have noticed is that most of the people are really helpful and nice. And I've also noticed that a substantial number of mechanics and other trades people are in your age group or thereabouts---and I'll bet some of them are single!
Check around, get your vehicle gassed up, your oil changed at different places, etc. You never know who you might come into contact with who can help you out with more than your wiper blades~

;-)
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 27
Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/19/2018 1:49:13 PM
Lol, my problem is I'm not technical-savvy. I'm fairly booksmart and people smart but I have a lot of problems talking to people about things which I have no clue about. My dad spent like 5 hours when I was 15 teaching me how to change a tire. I did not catch on well and even though I learnt that day, 4 months later I had a flat tire and could not figure it out. My head just does not work for that kind of thing. Its pretty frustrating. I always sucked at math too because I could never remember the orders of operations. My marks in school were straight As except in math class and shop class. My mom still has the tool box I made in shop class I in Grade 11 but it looks like something a Grade 1 made. I have the wiper blades but after trying to follow the instructions and looking at youtube videos I had to admit defeat it was so frustrating. And then going into the store and feeling like a stupid girl having to ask for help is like eating dirt.

I am aware I suck at technical stuff but I know I have lots of strengths too. When it comes to confidence, I lack a lot of it now. When I was younger I found it easier. Years of being called names and being belittled by a guy makes me a somewhat nervous talking to men about certain things. For instance, my ex would never put things together and when I'd try he would make fun of what I'd do when I would ask him for help, say I was stupid and stuff. And when it comes to mechanics, the last time I went to a mechanic I got chewed out for driving with a certain light on the dash to the mechanics shop. And another time, I took a vehicle to a mechanic and he scammed me a lot of money because I didn't know much about cars. I find mechanics very intimidating. I know a lot of women who do. The mechanics know that we don't know much about cars and they take advantage of that.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 28
Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/19/2018 2:06:11 PM
^^Not knowing things about car repair and maintenance is not gender specific. I don't know how to do car repairs, and I had to have a mechanic change my wiper blades when I couldn't figure it out. The trick is trying to find a mechanic who isn't going to rip you off by saying you need a zillion other repairs when you go in for one thing. It takes a lot of trial and error.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 29
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Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/19/2018 2:36:28 PM
No....the trick is Google-ing the symptoms your vehicle is having....that way you can at least tell them what you think it is....and they think you know more than you do!! Youtube & Google can at least give you an idea....so when you are talking to the mechanic you will recognize trigger words!! AND.....you always tell them you are taking it to a mechanic "friend" for a 2nd look....and they will back off on the extra stuff they are trying to tack on!!

I don't mean to belittle your feelings July....just hard for me to relate....because I AM a strong and independent woman that refuses to let anyone intimidate me....no matter their profession or status.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 30
Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/19/2018 5:53:36 PM
The bottom line is that we all have things we are confident and all have things we are not. And some of the better relationships have things where both people bring different things to the table. To be needed and valued is paramount.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 31
Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/19/2018 7:20:01 PM
MsMicki beat me to it...Google search sends you to a YouTube vid and then you have an idea if the mechanic is selling you "muffler bearings" or a good deal. Naturally, there are times where someone's just not in the mood to get dirty doing a job they know how to do, and fork over a little cash to avoid it (oil changes being a great example)...b/c they know they'll just put it off. Knowledge is always a great addition to any toolbox :)

some confidence just comes from experience--look over someone's shoulder as they fix something, and then try it yourself the next time. Any time a repair guy came to our house, my father asked if I could look over his shoulder and help, even if just to pass the tools. I get the desire to not look dumb, but we all do at the beginning. the trick is to find the repair guy who understands this, likes to share. of course we can say that about most things in life--the trick is to find the person who isn't a jerk :)
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 32
Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/20/2018 6:46:15 PM
Necessity =innovation no money/little money gonna find a way to DIY , a free friend exchange, ask a favor, low-cost handy person -hopefully trustworthy-or deal with broke-many people live in "squalor hollar/20 broken vehicles" or whatever because simply cannot afford upkeep-and others live there cause IDK they have reasons they do not care, collectors, eking out the superficial etc???.(hiding their wealth for protection lol)
Any thing we put or do not put n our profiles, is essentially; however we word it "what we offer" "what we want to be offered".. How we state it is generally attempting to appeal to "our" chosen audience" so reading profiles is important. For many years i refused to put a picture on line:most often people had to meet me to see me. My profiles were very open honest and often disclosed way too much info...I made that mistake even after I put a photo up.. The personal honest disclosure was utilized to take advantage of me- and my clearly expressed naivete and trust by my ignorance with my disclosures. Now lots of the personal stuff is gone- -no stranger, on line, needs to have that much incite(lol)
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 33
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Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/21/2018 7:10:21 AM
Youtube isn't very good way to learn something. That has to be gleaned for useful information.

I've taught a good number of people how to gas weld. Many have been blown away as to how easy it really is. I could explain it until I'm blue in the face, and they'd never get it right. They get it only after I do it in front of them. A good teacher, never makes fun of their student. They must be patient with them, and be ready to answer any dumb question posed to the teacher. And be ready to compliment the student for anything insignificant, that was done right.

Part of the time, women don't have the physical strength to do a certain task. Or the finesse, or they just don't do that operation, in the normal course of their life. So, they must be taught how to cheat. I made sure that my then wife had a cheater bar in her vehicle if she ever had a flat tire. And that she knew how to stand on it when the occasion arose. I'm no fool-I do it myself! (Cheating is fun!)
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 34
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Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/21/2018 11:10:20 AM

Part of the time, women don't have the physical strength to do a certain task. Or the finesse, or they just don't do that operation, in the normal course of their life. So, they must be taught how to cheat. I made sure that my then wife had a cheater bar in her vehicle if she ever had a flat tire. And that she knew how to stand on it when the occasion arose. I'm no fool-I do it myself! (Cheating is fun!).


I call it a "leverage" bar....and I use one all the time!! I've also learned all kinds of tricks for holding up 2x4's and such while I'm building something!
and yes....Youtube can be very good for learning things...
I taught myself how to "burp" my Jeep when it was having heating issues - how to do plumbing - how to put a drive belt on my lawn tractor when mine broke, along with numerous other little projects!!
Today I am checking out how to make an arm that directs the debris floating in the pool to go into the skimmer better!!
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 35
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Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/21/2018 4:45:08 PM

Today I am checking out how to make an arm that directs the debris floating in the pool to go into the skimmer better!!


Redirect your discharge jet from the pool pump to make your pool water travel in a circular direction. Then take water heater pipe insulation, and put rope inside to hold it together. Knots in the rope hold the insulation tubes in place. Put a weight, (A couple large washers will do) to sink the rope below the flow of debris. Then just anchor the rope on a couple lawn chairs, and play with where it should go for best results. I used nylon chalkline string on one. Very light and strong.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 36
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Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/21/2018 4:56:18 PM
For starters, it is an above ground pool so the lawn chair thing won't work!
I do have the jet angled so the flow is circular, but the ladder disrupts that flow and pushes the debris away from the pool wall.
I ended up taking a piece of 2x2, cutting a V notch in it that sits on the edge of the skimmer and tied a string to the other end of the 2x2 and brought that back so it is attached to the pool railing holding it at an angle...seems to be working out real well!
Only have to scoop out another 3000 Maple seed "helicopters" and it will be good to go! LOL
 Tom├ísIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 37
Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/22/2018 1:25:19 PM
Op not sure on what your problem is do you resent the fact on them asking the question? It's not that big of thing what are you offering to them to make them say yes I will date you other than the obvious. Meaning what is in your profile!

You have pictures show who you are what you do where you live great you have proof of that what else do they value. Some just want some sign you have a stable life. Others it's more on emotional, empathy, support, attentive basically doing the right things and give them respect, it's the one thing men in relationships don't need to prove to the other women cause his women gives credit to those things their his proof. Single fathers who have custody of their kids also have that same credibility or they wouldn't have custody.
 JGL209
Joined: 5/1/2018
Msg: 38
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Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/22/2018 2:47:37 PM

To be in a relationship you must have something to offer


Usually when a woman says that it means she's broke and probably has no car and expects someone who has their life together eg their own home, good paying job and a great attitude to sweep her up and take care of her.

Next time you meet a woman who says that ask her what she has in return !
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 39
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Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/22/2018 7:12:41 PM
^^^My home is paid for....my cars are paid for....I have a great job....
and I do expect a man have "something to offer"....but for me, it's not money I expect him to offer!!

"Something to offer" is subjective to each and every one of us....some are looking for financial security - some are looking for emotional security - some are just looking for companionship - some are looking for sex...

Not all women are looking for someone to "take care of her".........
 Inicia
Joined: 4/12/2015
Msg: 40
Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/22/2018 7:22:58 PM
Tons of men and women who are extremely responsible and independent (pay bills taxes, take care of their own health and dependents health including pets, own homes, vehicles /insured)- desire a partner with at least those qualities
 JGL209
Joined: 5/1/2018
Msg: 41
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Having something to offer..!!!!
Posted: 5/22/2018 9:29:39 PM

I do expect a man have "something to offer"....but for me, it's not money I expect him to offer!!




Fair enough. But it's rare I meet a woman who simply wants a decent man's time, conversation and love, they want that and more. And I understand not all women are the same... but I was under the impression offering yourself was part of a healthy relationship and is a relationship standard.
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