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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 76
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Female Led RelationshipsPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

^^^ I disagree that men are usually the ones who initiate things. A woman has to give a man signs and hints that she’s interested in him in order that he knows that it’s alright to approach her.

1) A woman does not at all Have to give signs & hints. Otherwise, few women would complain about guys at the bar or online. :)

2) Many signs & hints are natural flowing; you can read it off them by body language; as a gal can with a guy who she's sizing up. This isn't "taking charge" or leading anything, at all.

3) Even when a gal is strategically putting her foot forward (ahem, AHEM!) -- it doesn't mean they're at all the taking-charge part or a leader in dating/relationships. Otherwise there would be no "ahem!". The shy guy relies on this himself, to play the "sign game" before he would make a move -- where he is a far cry from a 'leader', even if he is more willing to take a bit of a step forward due to social expectations than a shy gal.

4) Even when a gal goes beyond playing even an obvious "Ahem Ahem" -- but outright flirts and such, it is Not an indicator that she is to be actually Leading a dating/relationship situation and she's a take-charge gal. Same as if a gal initiates a message online. One would be a fool to think "Oh, she's going to be in the 'man seat'!"

Generating conversation and stepping forward to keep the ball rolling in that pre-dating phase isn't what this is about. However, many gals Are shy (like People are) about initiating things, and ones who more crave a guy who is take-charge/leading will Rely on a guy doing so. But there's a big difference between guy or girl being the Leader VS there being no outright 'leader'.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 77
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Posted: 3/6/2019 12:04:27 PM
How men and women read body language is also very dissimilar. Men are often awful at reading women's body language. Women are a lot more subtle with body language too and to men it can almost be a foreign language. Women might think they are giving a man a big "come hither" sign but men don't detect it.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 78
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Posted: 3/6/2019 10:50:37 PM

1) A woman does not at all Have to give signs & hints. Otherwise, few women would complain about guys at the bar or online. :)


Online dating is different, as it’s impossible to use body language. The men who go to bars and approach strange women who aren’t giving them eye contact are either narcissistic or not the smartest guys out there.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 79
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Posted: 3/7/2019 4:24:54 PM

Online dating is different, as it’s impossible to use body language. The men who go to bars and approach strange women who aren’t giving them eye contact are either narcissistic or not the smartest guys out there.

or they are the men actually getting dates (and laid!)
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 80
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Posted: 3/8/2019 9:47:51 AM
"A woman does not at all Have to give signs & hints."

>>>i've witnessed plenty who have. typically to men out of their league. sometimes its just a natural expression of "wow!"

"Otherwise, few women would complain about guys at the bar or online."

>>they aren't complaining about the hot guys bothering them, they are complaining about the slugs who won't take a hint.

Generally, guys who hit on women in real life who offer no prior IOI, are willing to ignore the large number of failures (if they aren't already attractive), are willing to call buying a woman food a success, or find that getting a drunk woman in bed once in a while to be worth it all.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 81
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Posted: 3/8/2019 8:18:14 PM

The men who go to bars and approach strange women who aren’t giving them eye contact are either narcissistic or not the smartest guys out there.


Not always. Go to a bar with a band or DJ. You don't need prior eye contact to ask someone to dance. Doesn't mean every woman will say yes, but many will. Many times that's a good opening, if you're a half way decent dancer.
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 82
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Posted: 3/9/2019 11:40:47 AM
^^^ I think NG was talking about guys who go to bars to get laid. Asking a woman to dance and asking to take her home are to different things.


or they are the men actually getting dates (and laid!)


Maybe some of them, but not all women are nice when it comes to rejecting strange men’s advances. I don’t want to risk a woman throwing her ice in my face. Would you approach strange men who may not be friendly?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 83
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Yo, your game needs work.
Posted: 3/9/2019 12:06:09 PM

Maybe some of them, but not all women are nice when it comes to rejecting strange men’s advances. I don’t want to risk a woman throwing her ice in my face.

If your method of making an advance prompts women to want to throw a drink in your face you need to work on the way you approach women.

Would you approach strange men who may not be friendly?

I have approached many men in my life and never had a problem. If a man doesn't appear friendly why would I approach him in the first place?

As far as what was said earlier - taking a woman home may start with asking her to dance. You have to start somewhere.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 84
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Yo, your game needs work.
Posted: 3/9/2019 1:18:08 PM

Online dating is different, as it’s impossible to use body language. The men who go to bars and approach strange women who aren’t giving them eye contact are either narcissistic or not the smartest guys out there.


I usually think you say some good stuff , but that comment is the most asinine thing I have ever heard. Asinine on multiple levels , only a few which I will touch upon , since it is asinine on SO many levels. I used to think like you at one time, a bit, until I wised up and actually got educated in social dynamics.I thank my father for that actually since he was, and at 80 , still is a player of sorts. He used to run clubs and throw events at famous NYC hot spots. He actually claims he invented some "lists" which are the precursor of internet dating.

Women mostly don't stare at men or give obvious clues. Partly because they don't know how to do so in a way that will be read by men and partly because in those situations you mention(bar,club) they mostly look at a)other women and b) a unique guy who they find "special" but in all reality it is moot because most will not get him so if they want a guy they will need to chat with one from the other 99% who they don't look at.
I learned to art of approach and that includes women who I didn't see look at me. In fact a women looking/smiling at you is not a guarantee of success. Who cares if you get rejected? Don't you apply for jobs that you want/qualify for even though you don't hear back? Your attitude stinks. You are basically saying confident guys who go after what they want are narcissistic because only women should give social cues since women are dominant and should make the 1st move. Men are suppose to make the move first.
Do some women reject men badly? Yes, a lot of women are attention whore's and get off at being cruel. But again..so what? But based on your logic I am not the "smartest man out there". I concur! But my IQ is at the gifted level so I don't feel bad:P

Here is a word of advice. Whenever you see a women you like, approach within 5 seconds and you will never suffer social anxiety.

"I don’t want to risk a woman throwing her ice in my face."
Ok die a virgin because you have an irrational fear of ice! LOL..you kill me! I never actually seen that in real life. That is an extreme fear.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 85
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Yo, your game needs work.
Posted: 3/9/2019 3:14:33 PM

If your method of making an advance prompts women to want to throw a drink in your face you need to work on the way you approach women.

+1

I've had many men approach me in a bar that I hadn't been "throwing signals to"...
and I've never thrown a glass of ice at any of them!!
Said no to some....danced with some....had drinks with some....went out on dates with some....and married one!
 Million_Reasons
Joined: 10/23/2018
Msg: 86
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Posted: 3/9/2019 3:27:50 PM
"Maybe some of them, but not all women are nice when it comes to rejecting strange men’s advances. I don’t want to risk a woman throwing her ice in my face. Would you approach strange men who may not be friendly?"


Lmao! I knew it! Can you figure out your problem, yet? :)
 Kokanee_Ice
Joined: 2/16/2019
Msg: 87
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Posted: 3/9/2019 4:14:25 PM

I learned to art of approach and that includes women who I didn't see look at me. In fact a women looking/smiling at you is not a guarantee of success. Who cares if you get rejected? Don't you apply for jobs that you want/qualify for even though you don't hear back? Your attitude stinks. You are basically saying confident guys who go after what they want are narcissistic because only women should give social cues since women are dominant and should make the 1st move. Men are suppose to make the move first.
Do some women reject men badly? Yes, a lot of women are attention whore's and get off at being cruel. But again..so what? But based on your logic I am not the "smartest man out there". I concur! But my IQ is at the gifted level so I don't feel bad:P


Ok, I see your point. Just because a man approaches a woman who isn’t giving him eye contact doesn’t make him narcissistic or stupid. If it works for you, keep doing it. All I can say is that it has never worked for me. I’ve never gotten a date with a woman that I approached first. The only dates I’ve had were when the woman approached me first. My ex-wife asked me out first. If that works for me, I don’t see why I should change. There’s nothing wrong with a woman making the first move if she wants to. Btw, I don’t have to worry about dying a virgin because I’m not one. What a lot of guys don’t understand is that they increase the likelihood that a woman will ask them out first by taking care of how they look- women are also visual creatures.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 88
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Posted: 3/9/2019 4:24:49 PM
Exactly, everyone has their own game style. But a man should never be hesitant to approach who he wants. The advantage is you have an opportunity to catch the attention of who you want vs who wants you. Another thing to consider is a lot of really beautiful women rarely get seriously approached, other than the drunk douches. The thing worst then approaching is not approaching.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 89
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Yo, your workplace needs game.
Posted: 3/11/2019 9:49:57 AM
"If your method of making an advance prompts women to want to throw a drink in your face you need to work on the way you approach women."
"i don't want to risk ice in my face"

>>>there are bad ways to ask a woman out, sure. but if you're average looking and asked out as many as i have (and yes, the only ones who ever said yes were the ones already sending signals, a cold approach never worked), then the law of averages says, you're going to find a woman who won't handle maturely being asked out by a guy in your league. i can think of twice when it happened, and since it wasn't in a bar, there was no drink in my face. but, boy, did those ladies make it suddenly uncomfortable. and yes, people will notice, and you will get a reputation if you approach the number of women you need to approach just to make the odds work in your favor.

"women mostly don't state at men or give obvious clues"

>>>it they aren't feeling frisky or lonely, that can be true. or maybe the key word is "obvious". i used to work with a lass who got all the boys' attention, and it was so obvious she couldn't even bother to be humble and pretend it wasn't happening. then we got a new delivery guy with the right muscular build. not muscles everywhere just shoulders, biceps, flat belly, tight fanny, developed legs. and HE had HER attention. soon she figured out his schedule, and always made sure she was in the area when he showed up to deliver.

now, maybe that behavior isn't obvious to everyone. but i wasn't surprised when she handed me a note with her phone number and said, "i know i shouldn't be doing this, but can you give this to him on his way out?" and before you ask, she was in her late twenties, engaged, and not some teenager. when we want something, assuming we aren't shy, we instinctively reach for it. we do apply for jobs that didn't apply for us first. but i will agree, there are women who enter a social situation dressed to kill, and they are checking out...the competition from the other women.

if a fellow isn't in the league of the woman he's asking, it will be a female led courtship. we all tend to work for whatever is out of our reach, and the bird in the hand? well, we know how we view it to the two in the bush. we work for what we value, and take for granted what we take for granted.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 90
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Posted: 3/11/2019 10:14:51 AM

How men and women read body language is also very dissimilar.

I think how people read And exude body language varies...

Men are often awful at reading women's body language.

Well, alcohol is always going to skew your reads on a lot of things. As with exuding it too. But if I were to generalize, I would say women are awful at exuding body language. Many times they think it's the guy reading it wrong, but they're not seeing themselves on-video. I don't know how many times a gal has complained about some dudes chatting them up and continuing to do so, thinking she gave him "hints" she wasn't interested -- but holy heck Sally, look at what you're Actually doing! :)

Online dating is different, as it’s impossible to use body language. The men who go to bars and approach strange women who aren’t giving them eye contact are either narcissistic or not the smartest guys out there.

Your point was signs & hints -- you can do that online, by favorites, winks, Yes on Y/N interface, etc. People don't rely on that. Second, approaching a gal at a bar does not mean they're strange women. And one would be a Fool to rely on a gal giving him eye contact across the bar to move in around there to try and fish. That's not what mainstream boy/girl stuff relies on, at all.

^^^ I think NG was talking about guys who go to bars to get laid.

No, I think you're jumping to conclusions when the word "bar" is in there. :)

but not all women are nice when it comes to rejecting strange men’s advances. I don’t want to risk a woman throwing her ice in my face.

You basically just generate conversation. Much the same way you would with another guy at the bar, with the basketball game on TV. You're just mingling. You don't make any 'real' advances until you feel she may like you. You're giving signs/hints just as much as they are; although you generating convo many times lets it be known that there's a good chance you like them in-that-way (although not guaranteed; notably if you're really smooth at it).

I say this in a genuine, cordial way -- you do have a lot to learn about guys & gals and what goes down.

Just because a man approaches a woman who isn’t giving him eye contact doesn’t make him narcissistic or stupid. If it works for you, keep doing it. All I can say is that it has never worked for me.

What you need to first understand is that is NOT mainstream -- to rely on a gal staring at the guy from across the room. That would be insane to assume that's some mainstream, popular social requirement to generate convo with a gal in public social areas.
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