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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?      Home login  
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 ThatOneLady01
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 51
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

>>>if I remember correctly, he was an older man and an alcoholic? you may represent in his mind, a sex partner he rarely can access. Even if his body can't perform the act, he still may think about how difficult it is to replace the partner, and everything she represents--a woman he normally can't have, so if he can have her, he must be better than what people tell him he is--becomes an obsession. Like losing a job that has status and suggests the person doing it has worth, someone may go to great lengths not to lose that job.

but that's a guess at where his mind is at.


I think you're thinking of John. He's older and actually an alcoholic. My ex boyfriend is not old, he's 44 and I wouldn't define him as an alcoholic but he does drink more than most people I guess. But the rest of what you wrote stands.

He messaged my friend again today and she has now actually blocked him. His message was so ridiculous we both cracked up. It didn't even give me anxiety, it was just nonsensical and comedic. It's sad.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 52
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/8/2018 4:39:52 PM
( it was just nonsensical and comedic. It's sad.)

No! It is total unnecessary drama.

Try living in a drama free zone.

ie. Grow up!
 ThatOneLady01
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 53
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/8/2018 4:52:57 PM

( it was just nonsensical and comedic. It's sad.)

No! It is total unnecessary drama.

Try living in a drama free zone.

ie. Grow up!


I'm not the one starting the drama though. No one has contacted him, he's the one who won't leave me and my friends alone.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 54
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/8/2018 5:10:27 PM
if you wish to avoid the restraining order (now there's some drama), sometimes you can just keep blocking a desperate person until time wounds all heels and they move on to someone else. its annoying waiting for the proverbial shoes to drop as you mentioned, but hey...that's the fun of life.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 55
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/8/2018 7:04:16 PM

He messaged my friend again today and she has now actually blocked him.

Keep in mind that the only way for him to contact you now is to come to your work or your residence.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 56
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/9/2018 8:33:40 AM
(I'm not the one starting the drama though. )

Can you not see that you are enjoying and playing into the drama just as much as he is?

If you were not, you would not be obsessing about the situation.

Find an activity to focus your mind on.
 JGL209
Joined: 5/1/2018
Msg: 57
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/9/2018 3:03:50 PM
You take him back yet?
 Dinno76
Joined: 3/3/2018
Msg: 58
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/9/2018 7:14:26 PM
He is on POF reading the forums.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 59
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/10/2018 10:46:26 PM

Would you like his contact info? I think you'd be a good match he's also bitter as hell.





We had sex only a handful of times in the 18 months we were together.


What the ****?!! Then what's the point of even being together?? Yeah, Mr. Whisky****had to go.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 60
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/11/2018 10:37:35 AM
One again.....high value self worth, esteem women do not get themselves in the situations you have.

You cheated on your BF and had numerous make out sessions with a drunk old enough to be your grandfather and now you come on here with even MORE drama.

I personally think you enjoy this type of drama of having men chase you around.

If you TRULY don't want your ex to contact you and if he shows up at work.....call the police and have him removed. You do that once.....and he'll get the message......

- Pretty simple if you ask me.
 ThatOneLady01
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 61
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/11/2018 10:47:49 AM

What the ****?!! Then what's the point of even being together?? Yeah, Mr. Whisky****had to go.


Yeah he wasn't very interested in sex or any sexual activity which was a shame.


You cheated on your BF and had numerous make out sessions with a drunk old enough to be your grandfather and now you come on here with even MORE drama.

I personally think you enjoy this type of drama of having men chase you around.

If you TRULY don't want your ex to contact you and if he shows up at work.....call the police and have him removed. You do that once.....and he'll get the message......


First the guy is not old enough to be my grandfather at all so that's one lie. You bring up me cheating on him as if it's supposed to upset me. I said I never regretted it then and I don't regret it now. If anything it helped me see how much I did not want to be with my ex if I could do something like that.

I certainly don't enjoy ex boyfriend chasing me around. I stated that any form of communication with him he gives me anxiety and the only reason I was hesitant on calling the police was because that's a last resort type of solution but after reading everyone's answers I agree that's most likely the best way to get him to stop. So far I haven't heard anything further or seen him so I'm fine.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 62
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/11/2018 11:06:20 AM

Yeah he wasn't very interested in sex or any sexual activity which was a shame.


Yes, a shame indeed. What a wuss. I'm 4 years older than him and still a jackhammer.

What the hell did he promise for you to go back to him? To *try* and have sex more? That's not really something you can pull off halfheartedly. If he had been truly interested, he would have been delivering the goods before getting dumped.
 ThatOneLady01
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 63
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/11/2018 2:49:27 PM

Yes, a shame indeed. What a wuss. I'm 4 years older than him and still a jackhammer.

What the hell did he promise for you to go back to him? To *try* and have sex more? That's not really something you can pull off halfheartedly. If he had been truly interested, he would have been delivering the goods before getting dumped.


Nah, I gave up on having sex with him a long time ago. I didn't even get into that when we discussed getting back together because when I got back with him I was basically prepared to live a sexless life (crazy I know) because I knew how he was in that regard. His promises were to make plans for the future, take me out without me having to ask, do normal relationship stuff instead of sit on his couch watch TV and drink. That's all he liked to do. He never once went out of his way for me and I went out of my way for over a year to go see him at the comfort of his own home, spent a lot of time and money while he was extremely cheap. He was losing nothing and gaining everything. I gained nothing. He was really lazy but he would always tell me how lucky he was to have me. That pissed me off because if you do nothing to prove that then those are just words and they mean nothing.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 64
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/11/2018 5:08:05 PM
I get the gist of this elementary school, soapoperasitcom thingy ~ the truth is ...

~ An immature 27 year old DRAMA QUEEN, ditches her boyfriend ( who is soooo upset & wants her back ~ wan wan wan, sniff !! )

.... yippee !

^^ subjects like this, got old in the 5th grade & are BEYOND old now ...

You ask for advice ?
Grow up some & get a life > col ( chuckle out loud )
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 65
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/11/2018 5:19:20 PM
If I wanted to get away from someone or keep someone away from me bad enough it'd be near impossible to stop me. I'd do whatever it took to get away from that person even if I had to leave town. I'd find a way.
this is your life. take control of your life. stop worrying about what he's doing and take some action of your own. he's not your problem anymore. If you can't do that you're just screaming victim and I'm sure there is always some control freak somewhere that'll be happy to tell you what to do.

life is entirely too short for this kind of malarkey.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 66
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/11/2018 8:39:44 PM

Nah, I gave up on having sex with him a long time ago. I didn't even get into that when we discussed getting back together because when I got back with him I was basically prepared to live a sexless life


Ever think he might be gay?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 67
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/11/2018 9:00:39 PM
^^^ What 44 year old guy is gonna pass up on 27 year old trim?
 ThatOneLady01
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 68
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/12/2018 2:08:46 AM

Ever think he might be gay?


He's not gay. He just has deeply rooted issues which I won't discuss here. But it doesn't matter, he should have been able to understand most normal people expect to have sex in a relationship and do it for me if not for himself.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 69
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/12/2018 4:42:03 AM
Sorry you picked up a stalker ex. It's happened to me before.....I had one show up unannounced at my house, running around and banging on all the windows and doors, calling my name and begging. I called the police.

Many people cheat because they are not being fulfilled in the relationship, and obviously that's what was happening here, with the cheap guy who did not like sex and other issues.

The first thing to do is ignore (it sounds like you are doing that) - any acknowledgement of him on your part will only fuel the flames of his desire.

You asked why he does not "get it", that the relationship is over. It is because his feelings are not yours - he still loves you, but your feelings for him are gone. Plus, he's a crazy alcoholic (depression, excess emotional baggage). To compound matters, when you dump somebody who still has feelings for you, their love level for you doubles (at least temporarily). Sounds pretty bad, huh?!

Tell everyone at work to tell him he'll be arrested for trespassing - if they see him again at your work.

The next step, is a restraining order, if you can get one. This is what restraining orders are for. If you can't get one, you might be sunk.

Will he stop? Maybe. When? - unknown. His love level should diminish over time. But even then, he may not realize the love has died. It could take months or years. Or never. But the stalking should at least slow down. Be prepared to loose friends, and possibly your job. Stalkers can be bad news. Good luck to you.
 ThatOneLady01
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 70
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/13/2018 7:33:04 AM

I had one show up unannounced at my house, running around and banging on all the windows and doors, calling my name and begging. I called the police.


Yeah that would scare the shit out of me. I'm glad he hasn't done that probably because I live with my parents and he knows better than that.

He has stopped at least so far because he has no way of getting to me atm. I have him blocked on everything as does my friend. He hasn't reached out to anyone else luckily and he hasn't come to my workplace either. I don't think he will at this point maybe he's finally given up. At least that's my hope. I have other problems I'm dealing with right now so he's the last thing on my mind to be honest.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 71
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/13/2018 12:56:39 PM
You spilled the beans all over yourself:

" His message was so ridiculous we both cracked up. It didn't even give me anxiety, it was just nonsensical and comedic. It's sad."

You're amused by all of this, cracking up. You're all shits and giggles with your ****ing friend. It's comedy to you.
That's the pay off, that's why you still want a taste of this guy. You think it's fun to laugh at his attempts to get your
****ing attention, when it could very well be DANGEROUS. You said "It's sad". YOU'RE SAD! You and your friend are pathetic.
 ThatOneLady01
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 72
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/13/2018 2:05:05 PM
I definitely don't want a taste of him. Been there done that, yikes. No thank you. I'm not the one who's desperate for him I've already moved on and I'm quite happy. I feel sorry for him but it was funny because he just wouldn't stop. What wasn't funny was when he came to my work, that is dangerous but him writing incoherent messages is HILARIOUS.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 73
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/13/2018 3:06:48 PM
my opinion ?

^^^ that lady ~ should quit acting like a 12 YEAR OLD ^^^


 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 74
Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/13/2018 3:14:00 PM
Penny does have a point. There should have been no interest in *anything* pertaining to him, including reading anything he wrote. I've only had one "psycho ex" situation in my entire life, and I handled it the way it should be handled - she was cut off *completely* the very night she acted like an idiot. I have not seen or heard from her in any capacity since then.

Life is so much easier when lessons are learned the first time around.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 75
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Ex won't leave me alone... restraining order?
Posted: 6/13/2018 3:29:37 PM
Hilarious? Really? Some one drunk and unstable. Mentally sick and suffering. That's funny to you? Hilarious "unwanted" messages. He wouldn't stop? Were you responding? I think you bait him for your amuzement and I think it is cruel. It doesn't paint a pretty picture about who you are. Not at all. Infact you're getting uglier by the minute.
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