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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > why do do many women have "body type = thin"      Home login  
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 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 151
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why do do many people underestimate their body typePage 7 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
msg#150 Thanks 2ufo, will have to look into that. Sounds fascinating. Great minds think alike!
(smile)
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 152
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/17/2018 12:23:58 PM
I have "a few extra pounds on mine" as an indicator that I'm not thin. I would pick curvy if it were an option. I definitely don't consider myself BBW.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 153
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 11:48:18 AM

Curvy basically means shape. Curves are sexy -- rather than thin/no-shape. But obviously the term's misused for PC reasons, as curvy shouldn't imply fat. It Should just mean "I'm not thin, but my body's not 'average' -- I've got some curves to me." A gal with a slim waist, wide hips, and some meat on her chest and backside allows her to carry more weight without negative visual repercussions... but I think society's taken that a little too far to still place one as "Curvy". Of course, the same goes with "Average", and definitely "A little overweight". :)


Yes. The traditional definition of curvy was a woman with a hourglass figure. Now it's often used by obese women to describe themselves.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 154
why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 2:59:36 PM

Yes. The traditional definition of curvy was a woman with a hourglass figure. Now it's often used by obese women to describe themselves.


The exact same amount of times that men describe themselves as athletic or average when they are 20-40 pounds overweight. That ax swings both ways.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 155
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 3:34:38 PM

Yes. The traditional definition of curvy was a woman with a hourglass figure. Now it's often used by obese women to describe themselves.

It's more like "I have only up to a Dozen hour glasses tuck to my ribs, otherwise I'm BBW." I don't think "Curvy" should be the replacement nor "the next step" above "A few extra pounds". I think "Curvy" should be like Athletic -- a gal can be big boned and athletically built, even though not in the most attractive way... and "Curvy" would imply maybe a few extra, possibly a few more, but curves in all the Right places to give Good Shape (that 'Average' or many 'a few extra' or more don't have).

In the end, they Do need something (not 'Curvy') to be in-between "A Few Extra Pounds" and "BBW". That way, you won't see a big collection of clearly overweight gals (and guys) clouding the Mere "few extra" zone.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 156
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 3:56:54 PM
msg#155:
In the end, they Do need something (not 'Curvy') to be in-between "A Few Extra Pounds" and "BBW". That way, you won't see a big collection of clearly overweight gals (and guys) clouding the Mere "few extra" zone.


Deliberately skewing, obscuring and clouding the 'few extra' zone with a big collection of clearly overweight wannabe daters is not a good thing. Not at all fair to those of us who really are just a 'few extra'<<<

A totally untenable state of affairs.

We must put a stop to this abhorrent practice.

Now. Right Now.

;-)
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 157
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 4:02:30 PM
^^^ to NorGuy
Cosigned with one little caveat. Big boned is not really a thing. At least not as an excuse for being obese. An obese person's bones can become more dense over time to compensate for their obesity but you do not become obese or appear obese because you are "big boned".
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 158
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 4:09:00 PM
I would consider someone my height BBW only if they were 250 pounds or more. I'd categorize the weightclasses as follows for someone my height (5"8.5l:)

under 130: underweight
130 to 159: thin
160 to 189: average
190 to 219: a few extra pounds
220 to 249: plus-sized
250+ BBW

I know though that how people are seen depends on the part of the country and of the world you are in and in your cultural group. But I do think 6 classifications are needed. Other words like curvy and athletic are not needed and can be saved for the written portion of your profile.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 159
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 4:36:07 PM

I would consider

Thankfully what you would consider doesn't matter.

Your categorizations are not what a healthy person would consider normal parameters.

What a physician would consider does matter.

I can't imagine that any reputable physician would label a person "plus-sized".
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 160
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 4:58:01 PM

Cosigned with one little caveat. Big boned is not really a thing. At least not as an excuse for being obese. An obese person's bones can become more dense over time to compensate for their obesity but you do not become obese or appear obese because you are "big boned".

'Cause all the density is on the inside of the bones.


I would consider someone my height BBW only if they were 250 pounds or more

Wow... that means that I'm not BBW (per you). And here I've always hated that term - I'd much rather be called fat. I'm not traditionally (i.e. hourglass) curvy. I'm pretty much large everywhere above the knees (which means I probably should be looking for someone with a foot fetish...).

Like Spot, I can't agree with you in that your considerations here don't matter.

However, I disagree that it is a physician's call. A physician deals in factual information - like BMI (which isn't based directly on weight but on mass and height).
(If your BMI is: Below 18.5: underweight
18.5-24.9: normal
25-29.9: overweight
30 or higher: obese).
A physician's factual analysis doesn't matter when you're dating - it's the call of the person looking at the profile.

When people are dating, they aren't as concerned with 'normal' weight as they are with 'attractive proportions'. Some guys find anorexic women attractive, some guys prefer extremely fat women and most guys prefer something in-between these two extremes. Same with women.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 161
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 6:48:00 PM
I was just suggesting a weight class on pof between BBW and A Few Extra Pounds and the best wording I could find was Plus-Size. Do you got a better one?

The above weights are actually accurate for my height. Both my dietician and doctor agreed that a healthy weight for me would be between 152 and 172. But that's for me. Different heights and proportions will make for different ideals.

There are actually 2 different bmi charts floating around with major differences. The reason for this is one of the charts was devised in Japan and reflects average proportions of people there. The other chart was devised in the U.S. based on average Caucasian weights. So be careful which chart you look at.

I have a pic of me in my track outfit in Grade 11 when I won a second place for high jump in districts. I am super skinny in the pic but I did have slight hips and boobs. On the back are my stats and it says I was 138 pounds. So I know my frame at 138 is super skinny. Remember though that I'm tall. Some women would just be considered medium weight at 138. And a woman with curves will have a little more weight to them. My boobs are not huge but are E42s and my butt it big (much to my chagrin) so count that in too. Thus far since July of last year most of the 37 pounds I lost appears to be in the stomach and hips which is all weight I put on when pregnant.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 162
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 6:57:02 PM

Do you got a better one?

Photographs.
Because two people with the same height and weight can have vastly different proportions.

Actually, there shouldn't be such a category.
Or maybe the categories of:
hourglass (waist significantly smaller than hips and bust),
apple (waist significantly larger),
cucumber (no significant difference between bust/waist/hips),
pear (hips significantly larger than shoulders) and...

hmmm, trying to think of something to correspond to a woman with really wide shoulders compared to hips... ice cream cone.

There we have it... perfect.

Personally, I'm a wide ruler.
I think.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 163
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 7:07:35 PM
It really doesn't even matter what you put. Full body shots are beneficial though. I haven't been rejected in person due to my weight that I know of but online men have asked me my weight and I've told them and they said sayonara even though I sent them a full body photo. Frustrating.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 164
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 7:19:21 PM

It really doesn't even matter what you put.

I'm not sure what you mean by this.
As I understand it, people search for profiles filtered for or to exclude physical weight/body type.


Full body shots are beneficial though. I haven't been rejected in person due to my weight that I know of but online men have asked me my weight and I've told them and they said sayonara even though I sent them a full body photo.

I don't think I'd tell my weight AND give them a recent full-body photo. I mean, I don't hide my weight - I think it's on my profile somewhere or maybe I've mentioned it somewhere here in the forums but if I have or have sent a full-body photo then I wouldn't bother giving my weight.

In fact, if anyone bothers asking my weight after seeing a photo... then I'd probably ignore him from then on and delete him from my consideration. And, actually, thinking even more... since I've already identified as BBW (per POF) then anyone who actually asks my weight is being an idiot. If he wants to know my weight, then it is important to him and if it is more important to him than getting to know who I am and what I am like... then he isn't worth thinking about and simply receives a 'keep on fishing' email.

If someone is so concerned about weight, then why in the world would they even bother looking in any category other than underweight or average? See? Makes no sense - he's seen the photo, knows I'm fat. Why is the actual number so important?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 165
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 9:44:41 PM
I wasn't so concerned about my weight keeping me from dating until I came on pof. So many guys have brought it up and I've been asked my weight so many times it shocks me. I was always taught that it was rude to ask someone their weight. What really bothers me is that I would say I'm average weight for where I live and on pof, probably. below average. I know a lot of girls bigger than me with good boyfriends. But many guys on here really make it an issue so now I'm really self-conscious.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 166
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/18/2018 10:05:38 PM

I wasn't so concerned about my weight keeping me from dating until I came on pof. So many guys have brought it up and I've been asked my weight so many times it shocks me.

Then put it on your profile.
If it's important to them and they read it - they won't contact you.
If it's important to them and they don't read it - don't bother responding. Or respond with 'why are you asking something I've already mentioned'.
If it's not important to them then they won't ask.


I was always taught that it was rude to ask someone their weight.

Lots of things are considered rude. It doesn't stop people from being rude.


What really bothers me is that I would say I'm average weight for where I live and on pof, probably. below average.

Maybe that's a problem - comparing yourself to others in your area. Because that doesn't really matter and may not even be true.


I know a lot of girls bigger than me with good boyfriends. But many guys on here really make it an issue so now I'm really self-conscious.

I suspect you were self-conscious before anyone made an issue of it.
Really - you do need to work on your self before anything else.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 167
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 8:24:55 AM

Really - you do need to work on your self before anything else.



Any man worth his weight in gold, will not ask, "How much do you weigh?" BEFORE he has met you face to face.

IF he does, he is after one thing only. Your choice!
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 168
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 9:23:43 AM
One guy I actually met back in April actually said to me near the end of our first meetup "You are actually a good size. I was worried because the last couple girls I met who said they were a few extra pounds were fat. You aren't. But you can never tell with a picture." I asked him if he would date someone heavier and he said no, because he can't date someone who doesn't care about their health. Needless to say, after our meetup when he texted me to ask me if we could meet again I told him no because what he had said about fat women really bothered me. Just because someone weighs more doesn't mean they don't care about their body. Some people, myself included, just put on weight really easily and weightloss is hard. I do a ton of physical activity and if I didn't I would weigh a lot more. And I try to and mostly succeed at eating healthy.

I would date someone who weighs a lot if I knew they were committed to healthier eating and exercise. But I wouldn't date a person who weighs a lot if they weren't interested in that lifestyle because it wouldn't match with me own.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 169
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 9:56:56 AM
Visually, what difference does it make if a person exercises, because they're still overweight? You're making that distinction because of your situation. Both people are over eaters, and stand a good chance of becoming heavier. The person that exercises actually eats more if they're overweight after exercise.

You simply have to lose weight to increase you selection of men. You limit how much a man can weigh, and men have limits with what a woman can weigh. It's a Mexican standoff.

You know July, aka, Dorothy (from the Wizard of Oz), one day you will realize you've always had the power by clicking your heals (by weight loss) to go home (be the size that's more dateable).
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 170
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 11:40:20 AM

You simply have to lose weight to increase you selection of men. You limit how much a man can weigh, and men have limits with what a woman can weigh. It's a Mexican standoff.


I do know that which is why I am trying to lose the weight. I know the world works a certain way. I am a single mother with 3 kids which is by itself not an impediment. I know plenty of women who are in my shoes and what I've noticed is that the thinner and prettier ones do find boyfriends rather quickly while the bigger girls do not. Being both a single mother and overweight are a double negative which makes things much harder. So I'm trying to get there. I started my weight loss journey last year in July and in the 13 months since then I have lost 37 pounds taking me to 200.2. I have worked hard for that. My goal weight is 162 which would put me at a healthy fit weight. My goal is to start dating again when I reach 187 (the 50-pound weightloss mark). But I anticipate that it won't be easy to get there.

People who have not struggled with weight have no idea how hard it is for some people. I go every week to a TOPS meeting and some of the stories you hear are heartbreaking. There are many people trying really hard to lose weight and its almost too high of a mountain to climb for some. Some people lose weight really easily. Take my sister-law. She always ate way worse than me and she doesn't exercise and is the same height. She started at 215 pounds, decided to quit drinking pop and just reached 174 this week, only 3 months later. So that's 41 pounds lost in 3 months whereas it took me 13 months to lose 37 pounds. Pretty freakin frustrating.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 9/29/2017
Msg: 171
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 11:41:29 AM
I think there's a problem with the choices. If a woman is big but not beautiful, what the hell is she supposed to select?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 172
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 11:51:39 AM
^^^ So BBW doesn't stand for Big Beastly Woman?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 173
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 12:25:06 PM
July, that was sort of easy for your SIL, unless she was super addicted to soda. Thing is, she found what works for her. You have to do the same.

At a heavier weight, you could start dieting by cutting portion size. Once you lose some weight and get in weight loss mode (gain more self control), you can fine-tune what you eat, because I know it's hard to do now with what your mom buys for everyone to eat.

I had read or heard it's initially easy for significantly over weight people to lose weight, because it takes more energy to do things by caring that weight.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 174
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 2:23:16 PM

Cosigned with one little caveat. Big boned is not really a thing. At least not as an excuse for being obese.

What I meant by Athletic + being big-boned... is that having broader shoulders, muscle... not in the Attractive way, but that + not being cut by any means at all. Basically what one would consider an average body on top of broader shoulders with muscle on the thighs and arms too, etc. They are athletically built, but, more like a softball catcher would be, not an outfielder. :)

my height (5"8.5l:)

under 130: underweight
130 to 159: thin
160 to 189: average
190 to 219: a few extra pounds
220 to 249: plus-sized
250+ BBW

That's giving one a lot of leeway there. :) Not to say one couldn't pull off an attractive body being Actual "plus sized" (which you put as a 'few extra pounds'). And I do like the "Plus Sized" category for an in-between, before BBW. And you can't go by weight alone, but at not quite 5'9", no, one's an actual BBW well before 250, sorry. :)

My goal weight is 162 which would put me at a healthy fit weight. My goal is to start dating again when I reach 187 (the 50-pound weightloss mark).

From your pics, you seem to carry your weight better than others, pound for pound, as I would measure it by an average guy's aim instead. Assuming one is the 'typical' gal: @5'8.5" -- the "target" weight is 148. For a guy, it's 156. So yeah, 160 is a good "target" for you, as opposed to 150. The "high" for a gal at your height is 174. You have that the average of the average, where average = not thin, not overweight.

I would put it like this for 5'8.5", for Typical gals, and assuming one doesn't do weight lifting... but one's YMMV -- reading off a health chart, with me still giving it a little leeway:
Under 130: underweight
130-145: Thin
146-170: Average (not slender, not chubby)
171-185: A Few Extra Pounds (Chubby, not fat)
186-210: Plus-Sized (aka "fat")
211-235: BBW
236+: VBW (Very Big Woman)
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 175
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why do do many people underestimate their body type
Posted: 8/19/2018 2:33:30 PM
^^^oh for gods sake
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