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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Has #Metoo invaded online dating?      Home login  
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 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 26
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Thirdly, that message doesn't feel personal. It's generic enough that you could copy-paste it to hundreds of women, and nobody wants to be the victim of a copy-paster.

The messages that really get my attention are the ones that mention something in my profile, preferably with a sense of humour. The "DAMMM, you be hawwwwwt!" ones just induce eyerolls.


I agree he shouldn't mention looks or sex in the first email ( besides maybe "I like your smile" type comment ). However even if he mentions something in a woman's profile, it can still be cut and paste. For example, he can repeat the same questions / statements to every woman that has hiking, reading, cooking or some other common activity as an interest.

I sent various types of first emails. It didn't impact the percentage of positive responses I got. When I did get more positive responses, it was often after I added new and better pictures of myself and maybe to lesser extent after revising my profile. For the most part, if a woman likes a man's pictures and stats, he will get a positive response. Besides the crude and overaggressive examples the OP used.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 27
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/9/2018 10:22:12 AM
OP is pull'n yer leg
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 28
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/9/2018 1:34:40 PM

OP is pull'n yer leg

The OP may or may not be serious. But it's uncommon for women to get "Hey you are hot" emails that he referenced.


Thirdly, that message doesn't feel personal. It's generic enough that you could copy-paste it to hundreds of women, and nobody wants to be the victim of a copy-paster.

I don't mind copy and paste messages for the first email. I will gladly take a "Hey. How are you?" email over what I described above.
 JAXTC
Joined: 3/7/2018
Msg: 29
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/9/2018 3:45:40 PM

Is it even possible that a self appointed PofLegend, self described as one of the "top daters in POF history", who claim to have written a book on dating and relationships, is asking such a question?


I don't know what you're talking about.

Anyway why am I being attacked for not looking for sex?

It's not like I'm sending dik pics before the second date or anything.

Are there any good first messages any of you could suggest that have worked for you? Or is it how good you look in your pictures and a first message doesn't matter if you only say: Hey there

I'm more asking the men at this point because women pretty much just field emails and don't have time to bother sending let alone looking for what they say they want.

Any ideas men?
 Llove2LaughToo
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 30
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/9/2018 5:16:51 PM

I don't know what you're talking about.


Of course you don't know. You would be more credible if you used different pictures than the ones you used under your PoFLegend profile.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 31
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/9/2018 5:29:38 PM
As per the norm, these goofball women seem to think that if you're not thinking them 24/7, and aren't a sex pervert, then something is wrong with you. A few think you're the one that proclaimed that you're the one that wrote the book on how to successfully date on OLD.

Me, I'm just fed up with women in general. I decided to spend my time in more useful activities that benefit me. I remembered an old term that defined them pretty good- They're stuck on themselves. A good many will claim I have sour grapes about them. Well, yes, I never got a quarter back of what I put into a relationship.

I'll say this- Try lying. The truth certainly doesn't work.
 JAXTC
Joined: 3/7/2018
Msg: 32
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/9/2018 9:04:58 PM

Of course you don't know. You would be more credible if you used different pictures than the ones you used under your PoFLegend profile.


Dude I don't know who this PoFlegend is but it's clear he left his mark.

I was legendofpof and cityislesicilian. Poflegend is a different dude. Kudos to him for tattooing his brand on the forums though.
 cindi_rella
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 33
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/10/2018 6:20:22 AM
^^Anyone who has been on forums for a while know this OP is a troll and is not to be taken seriously.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 34
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/10/2018 11:20:57 AM

OP is pull'n yer leg


He's also pulling his Johnson
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 35
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/10/2018 10:57:10 PM

First, you start with a comment about the woman's looks. Every single woman on POF gets messages about her appearance, which are intended as compliments, but they never feel that way. Even I get those "Wow, you're hawwwt" messages, and I'm 51; God knows what it's like for younger girls. I know you think you're paying a big compliment, but it comes across as "I haven't bothered to read your profile, so I'll focus on your appearance."


Well, how about that? The five billionth complaint about profiles not being read, yet people still doubt me when I say they don't fúcking matter.

As for the content of the messages you receive, I've got some great news!! As you get older, fewer and fewer men will be compelled to mention anything about your appearance. In fact, you will likely reach a point where you never receive a compliment on it again. (except for maybe men in their 90's who are knocking on death's door) Then the next complaint will be about how men only want the younger women.

Novel idea of the day - if you're TRULY wanting your "inner awesomeness" to be the focal point, take your pictures down. I bet you won't do that, though, will you? Take your complaint to the ugly f*cks who haven't received a single message complimenting them on their appearance, and see how bad they feel for you.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 36
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/12/2018 5:32:50 AM
It's a really bad message......you never mention private, serious, heavy stuff like sex early on. And complementing on looks is no good, they've heard it 1,000 times.

But also ladies, complaining that a guy did not read your profile, meaning memorize it, is unrealistic and lame.

I think most of you need a good spanking.
 LucilleDixon
Joined: 12/18/2016
Msg: 37
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/13/2018 6:13:32 PM
This dude is doing some serious trolling.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 38
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/18/2018 3:02:22 PM

Damn girl! You are looking FANTASTIC. I bet you get hit up all the time with offers for sex. I’m not like that. Have a great day. =)

It's like a sideways rejection.
I'd feel too confused to reply if someone had said that to me back when I was single.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 39
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/20/2018 11:01:03 PM
MsMicki: I've been on POF for almost 9 years. I've read my fair share of comments by women on how to treat and approach them: including the "Friends First" concept. Like most other men one can write individual letters (waiting a week for an answer) and 99% never respond. I've used the comments by women on what to evade and again women do not respond. The two that did respond (and had Friend First in their profile) turned down a third date because I wasn't displaying any romantic overtures. But isn't Friends First suppose to be just that a friendly evening without holding her hand or putting my arm around her. I raised this subject 3 years ago and received a boat load of messages from men saying women almost never respond from dating sites. From the comments men hear women would like to respond but they're afraid of being rejected. So in the end men and women window shop through POF's profiles, kick the tires and then go home and watch Dancing With The Stars.The demands women publish for men concerning women change as often as my grandsons diaper. In the end women are insecure when dealing with men, The only gender in the countrythat are trustworthy are women.

Well may all of the princesases realise women lie too!!!! Men can't trust wonen.so how does it feel to have inaccurate accusations made about women? Men don"t trust women any further than we can kigk an anvile.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 40
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/20/2018 11:01:19 PM
MsMicki: I've been on POF for almost 9 years. I've read my fair share of comments by women on how to treat and approach them: including the "Friends First" concept. Like most other men one can write individual letters (waiting a week for an answer) and 99% never respond. I've used the comments by women on what to evade and again women do not respond. The two that did respond (and had Friend First in their profile) turned down a third date because I wasn't displaying any romantic overtures. But isn't Friends First suppose to be just that a friendly evening without holding her hand or putting my arm around her. I raised this subject 3 years ago and received a boat load of messages from men saying women almost never respond from dating sites. From the comments men hear women would like to respond but they're afraid of being rejected. So in the end men and women window shop through POF's profiles, kick the tires and then go home and watch Dancing With The Stars.The demands women publish for men concerning women change as often as my grandsons diaper. In the end women are insecure when dealing with men, The only gender in the countrythat are trustworthy are women.

Well may all of the princesases realise women lie too!!!! Men can't trust wonen.so how does it feel to have inaccurate accusations made about women? Men don"t trust women any further than we can kigk an anvile.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 41
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/21/2018 9:38:07 AM
The "Friends First" thing is just something women try to do if they aren't sure they want to date someone but don't want to outright reject him because he might have potential.

As much as we say we hate pushy men, we hate slow-moving men more. Guys who are direct and say they are interested in dating you and ask you out are what women want. The early bird gets the worm, right?
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 42
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/21/2018 9:44:23 AM
I'm not big on following news so the first time I heard of this Metoo was when I was answering a questionnaire on OKC and it asked if I was okay with dating someone who did not support Metoo... Um what's that? I asked around, they said it's something about sexual harassment? No, I don't care.

Since then I make sure if I use an OKC profile that it does not put anything there that I did not ask for such as "I stand with PP" - I saw it on my profile and have no idea where it came from, so I contacted them. If I use OLD it's to get a date. I won't be used for anybody's political agendas.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 43
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/21/2018 3:51:26 PM

The "Friends First" thing is just something women try to do if they aren't sure they want to date someone but don't want to outright reject him because he might have potential.


Correct me if I'm misunderstanding your comment but your definition of "Friends First" sounds like the phrase is misleading. Men assume what you say is what you want: logic. We know women think different but men don't read minds and it's difficult to accurately read a woman's emotions. We're criticized for not trying but get in hot water if we do and are wrong.

Women often say "be a man" and be truthful up front. Shouldn't the same go for women? I can understand a teen or 20 something but at 40 and above one would think that they've matured beyond that point. Easy to say not interested? No. But then it's not easy for a man (disregarding jerks) to say "I'm not really interested" to a woman: believe it or not. A mature man doesn't want to emotionally hurt a woman either.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 44
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/22/2018 3:45:03 AM
Men say friends first too. Women may mean don't hit me up for sex right away, like the first couple of dates. I think men mean the opposite. I'll have sex when you, but don't expect you to call that a relationship. The best course of action is to ask them what they mean.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 45
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/23/2018 10:29:11 PM
Julystorm22

The "Friends First" thing is just something women try to do if they aren't sure they want to date someone but don't want to outright reject him because he might have potential.


NewYorker58

Men say friends first too. Women may mean don't hit me up for sex right away, like the first couple of dates.


So which is it? It would appear women don’t have the same definition for this popular phrase. This is why men shake their heads and say there’s no way to know what women want. Maybe women might want to take into account how men think when composing their profiles. Remember, it’s men who are reading your profiles and men approach things logically:

What you say is what you mean. "Minus the jerks", men take you at your word!!!!!!
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 46
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/23/2018 11:22:10 PM

[Maybe your definition of "nice" differs from theirs. We're only getting one side of the story. I'm highly skeptical when a guy claims he's "nice" or respectful but still gets ax over and over again.


Why would you be skeptical of that? It's normal.


Example of first message: Damn girl! You are looking FANTASTIC. I bet you get hit up all the time with offers for sex. I’m not like that. Have a great day. =)

I know a lot of women get perverted first messages so I just wanted them to know I know in my first message but I am not one of those guys.


You need to send a first message that's not terrible. Don't take my word for it though, I don't get replies either.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 47
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/23/2018 11:49:11 PM

Poflegend is a different dude.


Correct. He was in Vancouver, B.C.


I was legendofpof


Similar name. Explains the misidentification.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 48
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/24/2018 7:35:16 AM


As much as we say we hate pushy men, we hate slow-moving men more. Guys who are direct and say they are interested in dating you and ask you out are what women want. The early bird gets the worm, right?


By past experiences, I learned that. Too many times I guessed wrong. Way too many times. For my own well being, I became non-moving. By being non-moving, I got no grief from women. Not a bad idea, as I found out. ( And I don't like worms)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 49
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/24/2018 7:51:18 AM
Dave, I would never use that expression, friends first.

I would ask the person what they meant. Things are misunderstood in print sometimes. I've never asked men what they mean by it, because I wasn't interested in anyone contacting me that used those words, and doubt that I would be.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 50
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 6/24/2018 8:13:42 AM
If you see the phrase, "Friends first" in a profile, run..........it usually means they are on the rebound or have other issues and are not ready for a relationship.

Just because somebody is beautiful and breathing does not mean they are a catch.
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