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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Has #Metoo invaded online dating?      Home login  
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 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 101
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
1) the young have it tough, they are figuring out who and what they are, and tend to rely on what society tells them. Men need to look good in order to get women, but they can perform in other fields that don't rely on looks. Women generally hit a glass ceiling in those other fields, and can also be judged by showing up for a job looking "too frumpy" or too old or that they don't have a sense of humor when certain jokes are said around them. I wouldn't want a daughter, b/c i'd want to advise her DGAS but that won't work when she's a teen trying to fit into a group.

2) when we mature and figure out what our identity is, then we get to breathe easier. but a guy shouldn't complain about bumping into a man-hater--hey, you learned right off the bat that you aren't compatible. Great! Now you can easily move on to the next grown up adult who will appreciate you.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 102
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/13/2018 7:55:52 AM
Mishawaka, Indiana VS NYC

a huge disparity
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 103
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/13/2018 10:02:01 AM
I worry that my kids definitely have it harder than I did.

I grew up on a farm and had a pretty happy childhood until I was 12 when my parents separated. I had a sense of home and place and identity. We lived in a closeknit community with church on Sundays and tons of community events throughout the years. The farm was my home and I lived in the same house for 12 years. When I was 12, my parents split up and my mom moved us to her hometown. We lived in a couple houses and then she met my stepdad and left the province to be with him. My brothers had a home there then and they grew up well there. I stayed in Saskatchewan with my dad on the farm and generally things were good for me. Growing up, I was always in a ton of activities: 4H, soccer, hockey, skating, rugby, volleyball, track and field. Food was always good and plentiful, there were no struggles of buying groceries and we went on lots of family vacations all over Western Canada.

I worry that my kids really did get the short end of the stick. I had my kids out of wedlock, never wanted to bother getting married, but that seems to be the case with over half the parents of kids my age. And way more parents are split up now. When I was in school, I could count on one hand the amount of parents who split up but now in my kids' school, I'd say definitely more than half and there's a lot who were never ever really together ever in the first place. And there's an awful lot of women my age, single mothers in their 30s, who are living with their parents because they can't afford to buy their own place and rentals won't rent to single mothers with kids. I worry that I'll never get to give my kids that sense of home that I had growing up. That solid foundation that I started with never existed for them. And unfortunately, I never realized how important that was until it was too late. And the thing is, much of my generation is like that. My kids haven't gotten to go on any major vacations, just a couple of camping trips and for as long as they've been living, we've always struggled with money. They know a lot of struggles that I never did as a kid.

The thing is, I think I definitely coupled down in status. My kids' dad was raised in the North End of Winnipeg, a really bad neighbourhood and they were what you would call "working class" as in they worked paycheck to paycheck. My family was definitely "middle class", we had our own farm and both my parents worked at outside jobs but we never wanted for much. Our families never fit in with each other, birthday parties were awkward at best.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 104
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/13/2018 10:11:27 AM
IF your kids did get the short end, its because you wanted that.

You had kids and no stable family life.
You had kids instead of waiting until you had a good solid career
you had kids before going travelling and having adventures.

All your choice. And lots of people do it like this these days. Kids right away and then its much harder to create a good stable life after.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 105
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/13/2018 10:29:17 AM
July, you are keeping your your kids together in a safe environment, they are getting fed & housed, there r no abusive men under your roof. You are doing a good job.

You are planning a sound future by saving $ etc.

Kids don't care about fancy vacas, I never had any as a kid, now I like to do many inexpensive cruises, your kids will do what makes them happy as they get older.

Do not let any man who is misogynistic (who has himself never been a single mother) tear you down.

Of course, I know you realize all of this.

So you had kids w/ a diff type of man...at least you got rid of him & have 3 hopefully healthy kids.

Life will go on.

msg 104 is a F-ing idiot
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 106
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/13/2018 10:36:36 AM
July, just because you had a less than stellar upbringing, you don't have to bring your children up the same way, but that's what happens many times as a result. Everyone isn't getting married? Something is very wrong where you live, which sometimes goes hand in hand with no religious background, and no man present to represent what a man should be to show little boys what is good to emulate and for little girls to look for in a good man.

A lot of these non-religious types don't know how to act like men, because God didn't make life perfect for them, so they're angry at God. He serves no purpose for them, and likewise, they minimilize women. They don't need them either, so basically they're overall miserable people.

I think it's so much better to teach a child by what they see and it does get ingrained in them. Kids learn how to treat each other from what they SEE at home. Divorced people disrespecting each other is not a way to learn how to treat each other. Those kids are going to take those examples into adulthood, then struggle all their lives and then wonder why life isn't working for them.

I hope a man that enters your life going forward show your kids what a real man is, as your husband is a poor excuse for a man and a father. It would be great to meet a good man with kids to show your kids how it's done by how he treats you. Right now, your ex is teaching them that you're trash, to disrespect you, and that men dump on women. Female children learn to except a man treats them poorly.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 107
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/13/2018 6:09:14 PM

Jco, for how men are brought up to be, I don't think life is necessarily easy for them. I'm just presenting what women may go thru, as its something men may not think about.


Both men and women have unique challenges when growing up and during adult life. This doesn't mean one is worse than the other, just different. For the last 30 years it seems the emphasis has been on women. Evening news, Oprah Winfrey and other talk shows, medical documentaries, etc.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 108
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/13/2018 11:40:36 PM
Newyorker. The strange thing is that it seems that the ones my age that get married often don't have kids or take forever to have kids while the ones who don't get married have kids right away. Now, I live in a town which is pretty middleclass and 20 to 40 years ago it was fairly religious, predominantly Catholic and Lutheran. However my generation seems to have almost abandoned religion. Some of us go to church but religion isn't a big part of our lives, not in the way it used to be. And many people look at marriage as a religious ritual so they abstain from it. The funny thing is my kids go to Catholic school and I get the class lists with the names of kids and their parents on it at the beginning of the year and the majority of parents have different last names which indicates the parents are either commonlaw or divorced/separated. And there are lots of kids with single moms.

Feminism also ruined marriage for me. I was taught growing up that a woman doesn't need a man to be happy and that women should be able to stand on their own two feet. It totally destroyed the concept that a good partnership is integral to family life. So I didn't look for a man with good qualities for partnership because I had a false notion that I didn't really need to consider a partner
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 109
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/13/2018 11:58:02 PM
The people that are married and waiting to have kids are being more responsible, while the men that don't want to get tied down are having kids irresponsibly. That's why I assert a guy getting married means something more in terms of commitment, than guys that say they don't need to be married when having children.

In the states, people send their kids to Catholic school for a better education over public school, and for most, they want them to get religious instruction.

Of course we don't "need" each other, but I think our lives are improved with a mate, granted it's the right one. When kids are involved, I feel it's optimum if parents are married and staying together. It's nice to have someone that supports you and to depend on through life, and for companionship.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 110
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 5:52:46 AM
"in the good ol days" my father's parents came here to escape Fascism in Europe to find the hind end of the Great Depression. And of course, those days were better if you were male, white, and Protestant. We can all make initial mistakes planning for the raising of our kids, but the best lesson is the one we live in front of their eyes--so long as you recover from your mistake, take a path to something better, you show your kids to not give up.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 111
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 11:42:50 AM

I worry that my kids really did get the short end of the stick.


They did.

Kids almost always do in such situations.

That's why I feel bad for the kids in such situations.

They had no say in the poor decisions of the adults involved.

A lot of times they don't even realize the subconscious effects.

And a lot of times the parents don't even realize the subconscious effects on the kids.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 112
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 12:27:47 PM

Feminism also ruined marriage for me. I was taught growing up that a woman doesn't need a man to be happy and that women should be able to stand on their own two feet. It totally destroyed the concept that a good partnership is integral to family life. So I didn't look for a man with good qualities for partnership because I had a false notion that I didn't really need to consider a partner


Yes, but you know that before feminism the man was considered the head of the family- he was the boss. It wasn’t always an equal partnership.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 113
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 2:42:43 PM

So I didn't look for a man with good qualities for partnership because I had a false notion that I didn't really need to consider a partner

You went into a partnership without considering who you were entering into a partnership with?
I don't think feminism ruined marriage for you... you did that yourself.
You turned off your brain.

No accusations - my brain was horribly inactive when I got married so I can empathize.
I just don't see any reason to blame anything outside of yourself.
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 114
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 3:49:54 PM

You went into a partnership without considering who you were entering into a partnership with?
I don't think feminism ruined marriage for you... you did that yourself.
You turned off your brain.

Answer of the day!

Sometimes its hard to admit you are the author of your own misfortune. Easier just to blame feminism for your own stupidity
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 115
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Posted: 7/14/2018 4:15:25 PM


So I didn't look for a man with good qualities for partnership because I had a false notion that I didn't really need to consider a partner


now that was one poor excuse.......
you are smarter than that....
I was raised to be a strong, independent woman....but never once did I think I didn't need a partner with good qualities.

Your ruined marriage has nothing to do with feminism....and everything to do with a succession of bad decisions on your part.
You have admitted repeatedly you didn't love him....let alone like him...
got yourself in a position that you thought you were stuck in (and found out you weren't or you would still be stuck with him)
and continued to make bad decisions by staying with him and having more children with him...
You have already owned it....why back peddle now??
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 116
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 5:02:45 PM
Feminism ruined marriage? You said it destroyed chivalry too. People can take responsibility for what they experience or not. You seem to be voting for the or not choice.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 117
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 5:11:57 PM
^^^ Dave Chapell said feminism killed chivalry. If chivalry is just good-manners and looking out for the well-being of others, then both men and women are capable of it.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 118
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Posted: 7/14/2018 5:12:32 PM
Now I heard it all feminism and ladies wanting equality ruined a marriage! lol

Oh that's just great the downfall of humankind blamed on feminism and treating people as equals what a world, what a world.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 119
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 5:21:51 PM
Agreed Kiss, both genders are capable of it.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 120
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Posted: 7/14/2018 5:28:07 PM

Mishawaka, Indiana VS NYC

a huge disparity


... and the disparity is?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 121
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 6:16:10 PM
I want to say first that I have changed in my thinking over the years.

When I was younger I was of the opinion marriage was a sham institution. I didn't believe in it at all. This is because my parents both divorced twice. So I had this outlook that I didn't need a man at all. I still wanted kids but I was of the opinion that a man was temporary and disposable. Then one day I found a guy who made me think love was possible and maybe even marriage but he dumped me and my cynicism returned. I thought, what's the point of finding someone who you love cause love does not last. I was pretty heartbroken so when my kids' dad pursued me I thought so what if I don't love him, love is fake. I looked at it as an arranged marriage and convinced myself I could learn to like him, force myself, and I could break up with him whenever I wanted. I thought wrong though. He was not a nice person and though I wanted to I wasn't able to make myself like him. I had 2 kids with him close together, thinking as soon as my 2nd kid is 1 I could leave him and be independent on my own but though I tried so many times I was never able to break up with him for various reasons, most of them involving fear. My third child was not planned.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 122
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Posted: 7/14/2018 6:55:53 PM
Are you sure your early beginnings with your ex wasn't about finding a way to exit living with your mother? Also, you experienced a loveless marriage between your parents while growing up, and that's what you imitated.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 123
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Posted: 7/14/2018 7:33:22 PM
Women today behave very much more like men than their grandmothers. After all, they attend college to compete in careers (rather than to find a husband). They display interested in sex. They drink alcohol and do drugs. They are active in competitive sports, including as professionals.

Masculine energy and feminine energy are very much out of balance. It's like playing a game where you did not know the rules of the game and yet you kept playing. A relationship is the biggest game on the planet and most of us don’t know the rules anymore. I was born in 1951 and remember all that has been said and happened. No, women didn't burn their bra's in the mid 60's. However:

1. In a simple way, masculine energy is made up of, mostly, straight lines and angles. Feminine energy is made up of, mostly, curves and swirls. There seems to be a reason why men and women think differently but to long for this post.

2. Women's Liberation of the 60's brought about some needed changes. During the mid to late 70's the radical side became unsatisfied and began making greater demands. The majority women we happy with the gains made. The radical side began pushing to push to de-emphasis the need for men. Pressure was placed on women to "Not Need a Man". Men were only needed to impregnate women and then should be eliminated from the family equation. Unfortunately the national news media picked up and publicized this ideology. By the end of the 80's our entertainment system made men out to be stupid, fat dummies who were all failures at life. All men on TV sitcoms, commercials, movies, etc were male actors playing out how dumb they were and could only succeed if they had a woman in their life. Women were portrayed as hot, beautiful, intelligent and successful in everything and had no need for a man. They "endured" the men in their lives and usually rolled their eye's at every move he made.

Today most men under 40 have grown up with this mentality. Many feel if they are so helpless and incompetent they may as well live the part and let their base nature be their guide. The increase in violence, drugs and porn have only exacerbated the problem

Radical feminism (and our entertainment system) has taught men to "Be more wimpy" while women have been taught to exhibit more of their masculine side. We're now seeing the result of all of this combined together. The whole reasoning is to drive men and women apart. The radical side of feminism today wants power much more than they do equality.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 124
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/14/2018 8:00:53 PM
^^^ Women have always displayed an interest in sex, even if before they were publicly shamed for doing so. And who says women didn’t use drugs before? I don’t think that attending college and having a career is a masculine or a feminine trait. I have nothing against the moderate feminists and the feminists who actually acknowledge that men also have issues and not everything is better about being s man; however, it seems like radical feminism is becoming the norm.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 125
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 4:48:24 AM
"women today behave more like their grandfathers than their grandmothers. They display interests in sex and drugs"

>>what it probably means is, the more society permits them, the more they act human. There was a time when smoking wasn't considered feminine for women, now there's porn devoted to it.

"masculine and feminine energy are out of balance"

>>now I've got Yin and Yang circles in my head. Women don't need to become the property of men in order to get property anymore. There was social experimentation, the Beatniks of the late 50's evolved to the Sexual Revolution of the late '60's to the Me Generation of the 1970's.

"by the end of the 1980's, our entertainment system made men to be dummies who failed at life"


>>>you forgot both men in the black and white sitcom, The Honeymooners. The cartoon the Flintstones copied the idea. There were other clueless fathers, though on Andy Griffith show, Barney Fife was the rube in black and white. Before TV, there were comedy movies like Laurel and Hardy and the Little Tramp and Buster Keaton, these men were buffoons for comedic effect, but they won out over the swells much of the time.
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