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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Has #Metoo invaded online dating?      Home login  
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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 126
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

convinced myself I could learn to like him

you have stated this a few times...
You didn't even LIKE him....let alone love him...
and you thought it was okay to marry him and make babies with him???

he was not a nice person

once again....you thought it was okay to make babies with a "not nice person" and have that person be the father to your children???

I think your "fear" was of being alone....and you made some very poor decisions that will affect you and your children for years to come just so you weren't alone....
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 127
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 7:22:31 AM
^^^
I tend to agree.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 128
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 8:00:16 AM
It's ironic, that because of the fear of being alone and being with a guy she didn't really like that much, she created a situation where she's likely to end up being alone for quite a while. First of all, not many guys will want to be with someone in a serious way who has three young kids that come as a package deal. It looks cute and fun in a sitcom, but real life doesn't work that way And if she mentions to any guy that she never really liked her ex, but was willing to live with and have three kids with him, most guys will head for the hills.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 129
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 8:50:33 AM
I'm afraid you are right. I think I will be alone for many years because I have 3 kids. The idea makes me sad but I guess it is what it is. I don't regret having my kids but I do realize that life will be tough trying to do things on my own alone until my kids are up and out. 16 more years to go.

It wasn't so much fear of being alone that made me go for a relationship with him. It was fear of not having kids. I wanted kids, a few of them more than anything. and at the time so many of my friends were having kids. I didn't get pregnant on purpose but I was really trying to get a longterm relationship at the time. I wasn't going for marriage. But when I got pregnant I thought it doesn't really matter that I don't love him because we'll just be split up in a few years anyways (I really had no optimism regarding longterm relationships). And I thought I could change him, thought if I tried hard enough I could change him into a better guy. Ha, how nieve and stupid I was. I just figured that because the guys I liked never liked me I had to work with what I had and change a guy who did like me into someone I could learn to love. Big mistake.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 130
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 8:53:42 AM
Agree site, hearing she never liked her ex would be a flag for most rational folks.
To be fair, I'm always cognizant there is only one side of this presented here. If I found out that I was in a marital type relationship with someone but they never actually liked me, I might be inclined to behave less than nicely as well. I wonder how some of us would respond if this were a man saying he never actually liked the mother of his children but just kept on thinking he could learn to like her.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 131
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 9:18:55 AM
When we first met I liked him. There was obviously some first attraction stuff. The problem was the more I got to know him the less I liked him. And the reason I liked him less was because of how he treated me and how he treated other people. I found out I was pregnant when we had only been dating a month and by then I wanted to break up with him. I shouldn't have told him I was pregnant before but I thought he'd want to walk away, I honestly thought he was the type. I figured I could just raise the baby myself without him. When I broke up with him and suggested this he didn't take it well at all, he actually cried and then he actually brought me flowers and gave me all the ""I'll change" crap a guy like that does and begged me to let him stay with me and raise the baby together. And I gave in because he told me everything I needed to hear. And he acted ok for a while but then my roomate got a teaching job in another town so moved out and I let him move in with me. He really changed then. He got pretty controlling and started calling me names and criticizing me constantly and he moved his sister and her husband in and things were really bad because all 3 of them didn't have jobs and would sit and drink. I wanted out but I was too ashamed of going to my parents and asking for help so I stuck it out. Eventually his sister's family moved out. He quit drinking. Things improved, he eventually kept a job for a while, was acting nicer, he talked me into having another kid and then a few months after I was pregnant boom he turned into a jerk again. Eventually I learned that there was a pattern. He'd be good for a while and happier and then he'd have these periods of time when he was awful. One day his mother confessed he had a mental illness and he'd been admitted to the psych ward a few times as a teenager. My ex agreed to try meds and they worked but then after maybe a year of things being generally ok, he decided he didn't need them, that they made him too tired, and he came home with the idea from someone that he could vape weed to help him and take weed gummies for mood swings. And then it was back to square one. And because I wouldn't support his move to medical marijuana he found a girlfriend who also partaked and the two of them are now happy and stoned all the livelong day.
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 132
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 9:22:02 AM

Women today behave very much more like men than their grandmothers. After all, they attend college to compete in careers (rather than to find a husband). They display interested in sex. They drink alcohol and do drugs. They are active in competitive sports, including as professionals.

Masculine energy and feminine energy are very much out of balance. It's like playing a game where you did not know the rules of the game and yet you kept playing. A relationship is the biggest game on the planet and most of us don’t know the rules anymore. I was born in 1951 and remember all that has been said and happened. No, women didn't burn their bra's in the mid 60's. However:

1. In a simple way, masculine energy is made up of, mostly, straight lines and angles. Feminine energy is made up of, mostly, curves and swirls. There seems to be a reason why men and women think differently but to long for this post.

2. Women's Liberation of the 60's brought about some needed changes. During the mid to late 70's the radical side became unsatisfied and began making greater demands. The majority women we happy with the gains made. The radical side began pushing to push to de-emphasis the need for men. Pressure was placed on women to "Not Need a Man". Men were only needed to impregnate women and then should be eliminated from the family equation. Unfortunately the national news media picked up and publicized this ideology. By the end of the 80's our entertainment system made men out to be stupid, fat dummies who were all failures at life. All men on TV sitcoms, commercials, movies, etc were male actors playing out how dumb they were and could only succeed if they had a woman in their life. Women were portrayed as hot, beautiful, intelligent and successful in everything and had no need for a man. They "endured" the men in their lives and usually rolled their eye's at every move he made.

Today most men under 40 have grown up with this mentality. Many feel if they are so helpless and incompetent they may as well live the part and let their base nature be their guide. The increase in violence, drugs and porn have only exacerbated the problem

Radical feminism (and our entertainment system) has taught men to "Be more wimpy" while women have been taught to exhibit more of their masculine side. We're now seeing the result of all of this combined together. The whole reasoning is to drive men and women apart. The radical side of feminism today wants power much more than they do equality.


I so agree with you regarding the aspects about men and women’s behaviours nowadays. But that’s the nature of life: with time goes by, things change, people change rapidly.

It’s inevitable. That’s the process or progress of Human Evolution, if you (people/anyone I mean) believe in Nature or the Darwinism. If you believe in God, then maybe God wanted/wants to improve his plans constantly. And he also gives human a free will… except not to be smarter than him. LOL

In the Bible, Genesis 2:18, God said “It’s not good for the man to be alone…” so, he made a woman out of the man’s rib …

… And when men use their power to abuse women and hurt them, they hurt themselves (their “rib”). And when women are too greedy, listen to the serpent (their evil desire), then they get punishments by God or get resentments by men.

With the science and high technology, plus all the studying/research in psychology, psychiatry and medicines of this day and age, we can’t never wish to go back in the “good old days” or stay still. And actually, I don’t think those old days were better than now. There was no media, things were hidden and hush hush. Lots of bad things were covered; nobody knew.

I see both good and bad in the old and modern days. We need to appreciate the good, accept the bad, and/or find ways to balance everything and improve our life/society.

There are so many wars in the world: countries and countries, political parties, workplaces (employers and employees, or among employees, old and young), women and men, parents and children, siblings, relatives … even in your own selves.

I believe soon there will be wars between humans and robots/synths (automated, intelligent machines, etc.)
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 133
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 9:48:21 AM

In the Bible, Genesis 2:18, God said “It’s not good for the man to be alone…” so, he made a woman out of the man’s rib


If I was to remove a rib from my body, the last thing I would be concerned about is some magical act of the rib turning into a woman. How does a guy do surgery on his own chest to remove a body part and live after that? It would be more plausible if the story was God turned a rabbit or fish into a woman. It's also quite the trick that there was no baby and childhood phase in their lives. They were born as adults.

It would've been a bummer if Eve looked at Adam and thought "He's not my type. He's too short, not handsome enough...." and any other reason women give to reject a man.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 134
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 10:00:37 AM
^^^
Or incest
 sexandthepof
Joined: 10/1/2012
Msg: 135
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 10:23:04 AM

If I was to remove a rib from my body, the last thing I would be concerned about is some magical act of the rib turning into a woman. How does a guy do surgery on his own chest to remove a body part and live after that?


If - there was not your decision to remove the rib and turn it into a woman. It was God's

And yes, in real life, you can live with a rib removed. It's just not the same. It's hurt at the beginning. But eventually, you get used to it.



It would've been a bummer if Eve looked at Adam and thought "He's not my type. He's too short, not handsome enough...." and any other reason women give to reject a man.


LOL. That's why God made Eve and Adam's eyes closed before they ate the apple. They were blind, not so smart and naked, but they were blissful maybe. I'm not them, living in that time, I don't know exactly how they felt. I guess that's why there's a saying "Ignorance is bliss."
 SomewhereInTheStratosfere
Joined: 4/1/2018
Msg: 136
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 10:41:30 AM

I found out I was pregnant when we had only been dating a month and by then I wanted to break up with him.



Things improved, he eventually kept a job for a while, was acting nicer, he talked me into having another kid


Are you just a bystander in your life or do you take responsibility and own any decision, ever? Things just don't happen, YOU allow them to. How does someone talk you into having a child, if you don't want one? I'm sorry, but you say you found out you were pregnant? Did you just realize how babies were made? With birth control being so plentiful these days, pregnancy is a choice.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 137
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 11:46:05 AM

Are you just a bystander in your life or do you take responsibility and own any decision, ever? Things just don't happen, YOU allow them to. How does someone talk you into having a child, if you don't want one? I'm sorry, but you say you found out you were pregnant? Did you just realize how babies were made? With birth control being so plentiful these days, pregnancy is a choice.


This is extremely common. Ive heard the whole "I was talked into having a child" or "it was an accident" or "it just happened" way too many times to count. I personally don't get it.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 138
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 2:46:05 PM
July, you made a mistake, then you ran with it, and kept going in that downward spiral. What you did was unfair to the loser you hooked up with, from getting pregnant, to not liking him, and he knew it. You didn't respect him, he didn't respect you. If you did love him, though, it wouldn't have made a difference, because he's a scumbag anyway with what he's doing with the kids. You can still move forward. The part where it comes to men is gonna be harder because of all the kids, living with your mother, and if he gets a whiff of your baby daddy drama. I think life would be improved if you could move out, and into an area with a higher population where you should be able to find plenty of divorced men with children.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 139
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 4:00:38 PM
I own up to my mistakes but what would you like me to do now about it? You keep telling me I'm not owning up to my mistakes but I do. I've figured out why I did everything I did, I've analyzed it and figured out some stuff about myself and I do not want to repeat those mistakes.

I just really want to move out. I need my own space and am slowly going crazy. I actually believe that if I had my own place I might be happier being alone because I wouldn't need to escape sometimes. However, I first need to get the court custody stuff cleared up and I need to get my investigation with Revenue Canada (its like the I.R.S.) completed. I feel like my whole life is on hold and it sucks.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 140
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 5:06:44 PM
^^Yes, you have owned up to them...
but then you go and throw up silly excuses like "feminism caused my divorce"...

you made some bad decisions....it will take time to correct them...
in the mean time....keep on working on "you" so you don't make more bad decisions...
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 141
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 5:10:53 PM

I so agree with you regarding the aspects about men and women’s behaviours nowadays. But that’s the nature of life: with time goes by, things change, people change rapidly.


I have to disagree. The nature of men and women haven't changed on it's own. Powerful sections of our society have force fed these behavioral changes through tv and our educational systems. During the last 40 years there have been people who challenged this ideology and the same sectors verbally assaulted them. Trying to shame them into silence. Radical feminists don't like to share power.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 142
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 7:07:19 PM

I own up to my mistakes but what would you like me to do now about it?...…………….

I just really want to move out. I need my own space and am slowly going crazy...…………….



July, You are not going crazy. It just feels like it. When a person, actually begins to see how F'd up their life has been, and begins to accept responsibility for their bad choices, when they realize, THEY not others, are the only one who can make healthy changes, it feels weird. It feels like someone is rocking the boat. It takes you away from your comfort one.

Make a commitment to yourself, STOP wallowing in self pity, stop blaming anyone/everyone, stop repeating the same pattern, seek help from a professional, read self help books, join a support group......DO something -! DO something right! Do it for you, do it for your children.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 143
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 9:03:14 PM
msg 104 is a F-ing idiot


Typical of a modern feminist. No logic, just mindless name calling.

How are you cats ? Did you catch up on all the articles on daily feminism this weekend ?
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 144
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 9:04:06 PM
How do so many threads turn into how badly Julystorm messed up? Cant we keep it in one thread?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 145
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 9:18:31 PM
Geez, exactly. My sentiments exactly.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 146
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 9:41:37 PM
I’m sure everyone has made some bad decisions in their life whether or not they talk about them. Everybody on this forum thinks they can tell somebody to take responsibility for their decisions while thinking they’re the exception.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 147
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/15/2018 9:56:14 PM
I’m sure everyone has made some bad decisions in their life whether or not they talk about them. Everybody on this forum thinks they can tell somebody to take responsibility for their decisions while thinking they’re the exception.



Well, its more that everyone most likely HAS made mistakes, but some take responsibility and act on it to make things better, and others dont take responsibility and blame everyone but themselves and dont change anything .
 RoxyMoronic
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 148
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/16/2018 12:17:09 AM

How do so many threads turn into how badly Julystorm messed up? Cant we keep it in one thread?



Geez, exactly. My sentiments exactly.


Do you really want your own thread? What a princess!!
(I’m kidding I’m kidding)
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 149
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Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/16/2018 1:01:23 AM
Donald trump is a bit of a joke. Can't there ever be any good politicians, apparently not.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 150
Has #Metoo invaded online dating?
Posted: 7/16/2018 3:25:09 AM
in America, we love to tear down the politicians running for office, keeping many of the good people away and attracting those who think slinging mud is an ok thing.
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