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 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 26
Why do people lie to a loverPage 2 of 22    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22)
Every gender lies.

When it comes to sex, it's easier, way easier for a woman to get sex than for a man.

So it would follow TO GET SEX, more men would have to lie than women.

Women prob lie as much if not more than men, but not as much lying to get sex.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 27
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/14/2018 5:11:12 PM
Rape by deception is a thing. If someone knows you wouldn't consent to sex if they knew facts about you and so you lie about those facts then yeah it is rape because they wouldn't have consented to sex with you otherwise. Rape means non-consensual sex and it covers a lot more than violent, forced sex.

If you tell someone you don't want to have sex with a drug addict and they lie so that you'll have sex with them then yeah it's:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception
Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/14/2018 5:33:02 PM
I would agree - it is rape. You lie...it's against their will. You "force" them.

I also agree that we can't throw words around and use them carelessly. People do that, and it's an epidemic. Manipulative. Deceptive. But in this case it just means that we need another word for this kind of "rape", or include it. Either way, the point is to express how bad it is. The kind of thing that it is. As bad as rape.

Yes, this runs us into lots of gray areas...but that hasn't stopped us before when trying to develop our understanding of things and the linguistics to go with it. And some of those gray areas probably aren't gray...only seem gray because we're not calling something rape or a similar word when it should be.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 29
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/14/2018 5:58:50 PM
I know it's not as traumatic as being physically forced to have sex but still i didn't want any married arsehole in my body. It's also creepy to lie to get sex, dunno why people do it but that's another reason why i don't want sex with liars because they're creepy.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 30
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 2:59:21 AM
Irene, there are a lot of predators out there that only want to use a woman for sex. It's pretty easy to tell if a man is separated from his wife. He'll have his own place, unless the guy has so much money that he can afford a second apt.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 31
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 3:51:59 AM
Yeah i know that but thanks. It's why i started looking at more local guys then i'd have an idea of their life outside of the internet, then i just lost interest in guys altogether anyway.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread. Low Quality Me. Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 32
Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 4:55:14 AM
Lying to have sex is not rape, it's fraud.

However, maybe they should prosecute it as rape.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 33
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 5:02:45 AM

: I told a guy i had been chatting to for weeks that i was sick of married guys trying to get sex with me because i don't want to have sex with married guys, he made up this BS story (that was very convincing) about being separated from his wife. We met up eveventually etc....

Guys lie A LOT to get sex so that's why you just don't sleep with them until you know them unless you either don't care about possibly being used or lied to.
Unsure if it's rape persay. Like guys will lie about wanting to date and pretending to like you so you feel it might become something so you sleep with then, is that rape?
Loads of guys just want sex but know if they openly look for it they may have to pay so they pretend they want relationships and dating so they can get it for free.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 34
Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 5:12:26 AM
Keep up the hate -man fest, and see how many quality men you get with that approach. Single guys are not attracted to Bitter Betty's.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 35
Why do people lie to get laid
Posted: 6/15/2018 6:24:21 AM
now I get reminded of a lass I used to work with, frankly she was a bit average in looks, but she lost some weight and caught the attention of the town Tall, Dark, and Player. She hadn't been able to get his eye before, b/c he was too busy burning all the bridges in town, and she was warned about him and of course...it all turned out to be true. Its always amazing how an unattractive man can tell the truth, and not get the time of day, but an attractive man can lie and SOME women will just pretend he's "troubled", "misunderstood", or some other such thing.

Of course, there are plenty of men who will overlook a lie told by a hottie, too...
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 36
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 6:30:34 AM


Lying to have sex is not rape, it's fraud.

However, maybe they should prosecute it as rape.


Actually, I think there's some legal precedent for prosecution of rape-by-deception.
But the penalties are probably higher for fraud.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 37
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 6:59:52 AM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception
 Tom├ísIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 38
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 10:57:04 AM
The term rape through deception can't be enforced it's impossible, there is an easy explanation as to why. If a person lies to you that is not a true rape by deception as you already expect them to lie and thus they are being truthful to your belief. If a person knows you believe they lie and tells you the truth and is honest about it then is that person the one who is raping by deception? Deception cannot be based upon a victim as they choose to use it or they could charge both people one being honest, the other lying according to them both are guilty of rape?

A person can deceive individuals by telling the truth as they already suspect them to exaggerate and lie, so by telling them the "truth" which they believe is a lie you deceive them. As they see the whole situation as why would I lie when people are already going to assume that anyways so I tell them the truth they believe it's a lie when in fact it's the truth. People get deceived through a truthful statement they never thought was actually true.

So really you can charge anyone with rape through deception prepare the courts cause sh!t is coming their way.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 39
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Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 11:24:20 AM
^^^^^^^

In other news, if you think you heard someone say something,
but you weren't sure of what they said, and you thought it made
sense until it didn't, then you realized that was 3 seconds of time
lost to the universe, which by definition is all matter and space
considered as a whole and suddenly snack time was upon us...
will there be treats?
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 40
Why do people lie to a lover
Posted: 6/15/2018 11:34:26 AM
because they can and it gets them desirable results. only you can protect you. putting all your trust into another person, especially if you don't know them very well, is foolish and will carry bad consequences.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 41
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Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 12:54:47 PM

^|^^I know..right?

I didn't read it myself. ..I just responded to the subject line. Ain't nobody got time for that!



If I wanted to read a book I would go to Barnes & Noble...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 42
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Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 1:36:29 PM





If I wanted to read a book I would go to Barnes & Noble





.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 43
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 1:44:56 PM

Guys lie A LOT to get sex


Women lie a lot to get relationships and with those relationships comes sex. I hate a bullshitting man just as much as any woman does, but you women had better think long and hard about this ''lying makes it rape" concept. Should this include ALL lies or just the ones YOU think should matter?

Do you really want the justice system being reduced to a tool for everyone to get revenge for every misrepresentation thrown their way before sex?
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 44
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Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 3:36:12 PM
I never said it was lol.
Just men can be so dodgy, it's in best judgement to not sleep with them unless you know them.
Guys that will have sex early in usually just want sex mainly and most guys pretty much date to get sex. Like masquerade seeking sex as dating.
It's unbelievably annoying honestly.
Luckily I'm done with dating since I have a boyfriend.
If I could of made different choices I would not of met those guys and instead met guys who would pay me. So atleast I'd have some $$$ after being used for the same thing essentially.
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 3:46:02 PM

Women lie a lot to get relationships and with those relationships comes sex. I hate a bullshitting man just as much as any woman does, but you women had better think long and hard about this ''lying makes it rape" concept. Should this include ALL lies or just the ones YOU think should matter?

Oh, snap.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 46
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Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 4:07:11 PM
I would like it to be seen as immoral to lie to people to get them to want sex with you. Even now if you have HIV it's illegal to not mention you have it to the people you want sex with, which shows that even lying by omission is seen as unacceptable already. But only because passing on HIV is seen as important enough to create laws for. Whereas destroying someone mentally is not.

I don't think that the justice system would be able to wipe out things like rape though, and this has always been known by society anyway because of attitudes surrounding it. Always women have been told to look after themselves and not get into situations where they might be rapeable. And this ultimately means that they can be blamed for being raped. It actually used to be legit, under law, to bring up that a woman was promiscuous if she was raped, or what was she was wearing was a justified escape clause if someone raped her. This really happened and some people still think these are causes for rape to this day, even in the western world where we'd all like to think we are progressives here.

Other presumptions;
Women can't be rapists, only men can because of the term penetration being used to describe it. This has a knock on effect that women can't be sexual predators also, possibly because women are also seen as naturally more caring but when women are predators a whole bunch of guys will make inappropriate comments about that being sexy. Women have been reduced to sex objects while men have been reduced to the controllers of sex (and predatory females with that is seen as acceptable because men don't really accept that predatory sex is damaging).
Men rape because they enjoy sex, need sex, and cannot control themselves sexually, not because they enjoy forcing people to do what they want. I think this myth has pretty much gone, it may linger though. One guy on here has posted an article to some kind of advice page only this week where it says: "As for Xue Ying, to help Sean feel respected in their marriage, some things she can do to meet his emotional needs include -responding to him when he desires sexual intimacy." Like only his needs matter here. Seriously, this is the link: https://www.family.org.sg/FOTFS/Blog/Marriage/Why_Do_Husbands_Need_Respect_and_Wives_Desire_Love.aspx
There's a cycle of abuse ingrained into society that says it's ok to abuse women. That women don't matter and aren't important, especially when it comes to sex and it is this attitude that needs to be gone as it still remains. Not with all men but with enough that it make life unpleasant for women in general.

Finally, because so many guys already get away with it, rape is really hard to prove because it's never done with any witnesses usually. There's probably other stuff i haven't thought of.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 47
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Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 4:11:09 PM
Relationships are sort of different, but you actually are covered under marriage laws. So only if you tie yourself legally to someone then you have rights. But again, like my last thing in the above reply relationships tend to be between two people and so it's their word against yours. Although other people can chip in with their opinion they might never have seen the person you had a relationship with, not truly and not everything. And again what does society see as acceptable here?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 48
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Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 7:05:02 PM

I told a guy i had been chatting to for weeks that i was sick of married guys trying to get sex with me because i don't want to have sex with married guys, he made up this BS story (that was very convincing) about being separated from his wife. We met up eventually, had sex. Turned out he wasn't separated, i think it's rape myself. If you have to lie to someone to get them to consent to sex then you raped them.



You consented to a guy who was married. It was okay that he was supposedly separated? Don't claim rape for your bad decision. You decided to have sex with him.




Women lie a lot to get relationships and with those relationships comes sex. I hate a bullshitting man just as much as any woman does, but you women had better think long and hard about this ''lying makes it rape" concept. Should this include ALL lies or just the ones YOU think should matter?

Do you really want the justice system being reduced to a tool for everyone to get revenge for every misrepresentation thrown their way before sex?



Exactly Pig. Take accountability for the bad decisions you make. Nobody forced you.
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 7:24:19 PM

You consented to a guy who was married. It was okay that he was supposedly separated? Don't claim rape for your bad decision. You decided to have sex with him.

Yes, in some cases and to some people, it's different if you think they're separated. Being separated implies that the two are no longer "together" in certain or all respects, and plan to get divorced. A person who gets with an alleged separated person is going by this premise and implication, and simply exercises the prerogative to not wait for the divorce and treat them as "available"...and whether or not that's a bad decision is a different issue and for a different reason.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 50
Why do men lie to get a woman
Posted: 6/15/2018 7:30:53 PM
if a person robs you thru violence, you got mugged. If they broke into your house, you were burgled. If they talked you out of your money, you got conned. But they're all forms of thievery, yes?

"I would like it to be seen as immoral to lie to people, in order to get them to want to have sex with you."

>>>again, I can tell everyone from experience...I've never, ever been able to fool any woman on the planet into having sex with me. Women look, and they decide for themselves. I've never convinced a woman to come up to my hotel room alone so I could help her with her career. But that's good news--if you don't want to be fooled, then simply don't be fooled. Don't hop into bed with the hot guy, until you know for sure. You get to control the outcome. Cool your jets, get to know the guy, then commit yourself. Rape is about power, so who has the power when a lie is committed? the person who decides they are going to accept the lie from the hot guy, but never from the ugly dude. But any ugly guy can use force to get what he wants.

the main reason rapists get away is b/c courts rely on witnesses and proof, and most cases of acquaintance rape turn into "he said, she said". But some stranger jumping out of a dark alley can't argue it was consensual. and alcohol doesn't help cases, either. If someone drinks and drives, we have no problem "blaming the victim" there and assigning responsibility to the drunk.
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