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 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 26
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
You were the rebound girl, sorry.

Separated, married, widowed, broken up, it's all the same difference - all that matters is, have they had enough time to heal from the past breakup?

For every 5 years a person was in a relationship, after breakup or divorce, it takes one to 1.5 years for them to heal and be ready to fall in love with a new person.

I like to keep it 85% lighthearted and fun conversation on a date or phone call, but I'll ask my date some interview questions. What's are the most important questions? - how long was your last relationship, and when did you part ways? - then I run the formula on them.

There are lots of people on the rebound out there, tons of them. Yet, you only need to find one good one who is not on the rebound. Choose wisely.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 27
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/20/2018 11:28:28 AM
What is this a rebound complaining about a rebound talking about a rebound? This sh!t is getting dangerous for the love of all things wonderful take a time out, enjoy your life a little and deal with your own sh!t before complaining about someone elses. You were here griping over your ex next thing you know your dating. You know what transference is right? You know that is all your doing right transferring feelings from ex to new person deal with the original damage before you pass that sh!t on people for pete's sake.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 28
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/20/2018 12:12:38 PM
I have no feelings for my longterm ex, I haven't missed him once since we broke up. My griping about him only had to do with his shoddy actions in regards to the kids.

Maybe this was just a fling I needed to propel me forward. Maybe this was a rebound for him. I don't know. I just know I really liked him.

Newyorker had a good point. If you wait till a guy is divorced to date him then often he's already found someone new by then. And from what I've seen in my 35 years is that good guys aren't single long. So yes, a person might be someone's rebound but I've seen rebounds turn into longterm things so I guess its a chance a person might be willing to take. Strike while the iron is hot. You might get burned but it could be worth the chance. Regardless I've learned a little.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 29
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/20/2018 12:25:13 PM
They always want to come but they never want to leave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uLI6BnVh6w
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 30
Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/20/2018 12:46:45 PM

Strike while the iron is hot


You are right, there is an old white haired lady in here that went to a Church group's luncheon to wrangle herself a man.

Then she got excommunicated...
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 31
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/20/2018 3:31:30 PM

I expect a guy to have been married, and I favor that over lifetime bachelors.




Sure, they can divorced because they're defective,


Such a sad state of affairs in a society, when failure is more appealing than success.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 32
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/20/2018 7:56:44 PM
Trying is more appealing than sitting at home. Dating someone doesn't have to lead to eternity with them. Just like you enjoy a sports car when it runs well. When it doesn't anymore, you trade it in. Find a new car, and enjoy it when it's running good. You don't not buy a car, because it's eventually going to break. You know the old saying about what's guaranteed in life.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 33
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/20/2018 10:54:15 PM
^Is that what you do sit around? Not many prospects? Wouldn't have anything to do with the way you might view men and other men see it and think you can't touch this..... Mc Hammer music comes to mind.

A guy would fix his sports car and get it back on the road you might not.

You see the lady who believes in no genuine and good guys don't get them July you know why their already insulting them and they can't be bothered to change minds.

You go over you increase yourself worth and you ability to be alone, and love yourself that is what you do. Actively achieve small successes in life that's what creates confidence and belief in yourself. Sitting there being with someone cause you don't want to be lonely, we don't no part of someone's inbetween or their next target of rage sorry we don't. See that is your mistake it's the single ones who have been single for awhile who are the good ones especially if their not even trying to get you women. They don't run into relationships to not be alone they are content with who they are, they love themselves and are free to love anyone, it takes a good woman to get them to want you. They have to believe you are worth the effort and I was one before I even came here. What do I get the same sh!t you got like seriously I take the time make myself these ladies are in and out of relationships like undies, not even worth the effort.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 34
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 1:34:35 AM

And from what I've seen in my 35 years is that good guys aren't single long. So yes, a person might be someone's rebound but I've seen rebounds turn into longterm things so I guess its a chance a person might be willing to take. Strike while the iron is hot. You might get burned but it could be worth the chance. Regardless I've learned a little.



- It's true that it's possible for dating rebound people to turn into long term relationships, sometimes it does work out.............it's just that they are a bad risk.

Strike while the iron is hot is desperation talking. It's better to be single than to be in a poor relationship. Additionally, rejection hurts. You are better off avoiding it if possible. Date smart!
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 35
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 4:30:10 AM
To turn down a guy because it's not long after his breakup is ridiculous. You're ruling out so many people, as everyone is seguing from a prior relationship. What's the magic number then? Hands off a newly separated guy for a year? That guy will already be in a relationship by then if he is lucky enough to find someone.

Tomas, or whatever you're calling yourself these days, I've never had a problem meeting men and dating. However, it always looks like you have a bad attitude and are never dating. Look in the mirror, buddy.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 36
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 6:53:41 AM

Separated isn't the same as actually being married, it means that a couple has split up and they are in the process of getting a divorce. That's why the word separation is used and not married.



Legal separation usually entails a court order that two spouses can live apart as unmarried persons, except that they are still married.



This sounds kind of familiar...because I said that separated means still legally married. Remember?

Until you're divorced, you're still legally married no matter how separated you are.
 feirene
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 37
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 7:09:56 AM

Legal separation usually entails a court order that two spouses can live apart as unmarried persons, except that they are still married.



This sounds kind of familiar...because I said that separated means still legally married. Remember?

Until you're divorced, you're still legally married no matter how separated you are.


So? They're not even a couple any more. Even you know that still being legally married means nothing because they're actually now legally separated.

Although i probably am confused, like since when did people need the law to tell them when their relationships are over or are official, that's stupid af.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 38
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 7:11:24 AM

Such a sad state of affairs in a society, when failure is more appealing than success


That should be your epitaph, "At least I never failed".
Failure isn't always a bad thing.
At least some people try.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 39
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 7:48:50 AM
Optimally a person would want to date someone who has been single a while. However, I've found that limits your options significantly. I'm not looking for a serious relationship right now but I'm also really not into casual encounters either (one night stand type of deals). And what I've noticed is the guys who have been on there a long time fall into one of those two camps. And let's face it, a certain percentage of the guys who have been single forever are single for a reason and its for reasons like lack of good courting skills (awful conversationalists, bad pickup lines, pet names, etc.) and lack of attractive qualities. Also, from my experience, a tendency to talk about children and marriage on the second conversation and I get freaked out because they try way to hard to convince you they'd make good husbands. I've struck up lots of conversations with these guys, hoping to find a diamond in the rough or something and my efforts are seldom rewarded. Bottom line is you can't force yourself to be attracted to someone you are not and trust me I've tried.

I'm looking to explore my horizons. I haven't been single too long and I know I need to learn how to enjoy it. But part of that is enjoying the dating process. I haven't gotten to date a lot in the past. As a teenager I was too shy around guys and as a university student for 6 years I made a point to avoid dating. Then at 23 I decided to go for it and did but I ended up in a longterm relationship way too quickly. Maybe I want to do now which I never did when I was young. I want to learn about men better. I'm also working on building up my self-esteem better. I actually am enjoying the physical fitness thing immensely although the part that bugs me is that I'm doing all the physical fitness activities all by myself and that's a bit lonely. None of my family is interested in doing these things with me either and none of the women I have the opportunity to cultivate friendships with are gungho about it either. In MLBK (my life before kids) I used to enjoy doing lots of things by myself, biking and walking and reading and just hanging out at home, but I realize that I had an equal amount of time with close friends too which made a difference. The people I spend the most time with are my kids, my mom and my eldest brother and my sisterinlaw and her kids but I miss deeper conversations about interesting topics.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 40
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 8:22:57 AM
ok come on guys, quit talking desperate............you'll meet people in all stages.......you can meet people who have had their rebound relationship already, people who have waited to date, and others who are ready for a relationship.

Also, watch their actions.........as you date a person week-to-week, if they are ready and a good catch, they should be falling more and more in love with you as time goes on. On the other hand, if they are pulling back or flaky and don't know what they want, they are probably on the rebound or have some other issue.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 41
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 9:10:06 AM
That's an interesting idea: meet someone who has already had their rebound relationship. Only trouble is that often the rebound relationship becomes a fullblown relationship plus how can you tell if they've had one?

My rebound relationship in January was with an ex which was a whole other kettle of fish because the relationship I had been in was with someone who was a rebound after this ex. Basically it was Ex#1 dumped me so I rebounded with Ex #2 and when things ended with Ex #2 I I got back with Ex #1. I ended things with Ex #1 though again because he told me he really cared with me and liked me and if I didn't have kids he'd want to see where things went but because I did have kids he only wanted friendship with benefits and I was too into him for that. And to further complicate things, I had a brief fling (no sex though) in early May and got back with Ex #1 because he was persistent with messaging me but then again was adamant that we had no future, that he just like being with me. So I guess I had an ex I couldn't shake myself although this last time I finally had enough and something clicked and I don't care for him anymore.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 42
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 9:23:24 AM
Unfortunately a lot of people who come to dating sites do it to get over someone.
Lots of women are fresh out of relationships, or still in one and want to see what else is out there to monkey branch to.
People dont seem to realize that they should take time off after a long relationship so that when they do date again, they arent bringing all the emotional baggage with them. BUt no, people think getting right into another one will help or make them feel they won the breakup.

There is a reason you will see the same faces on these sites for years on end.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 43
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 11:07:35 AM

To turn down a guy because it's not long after his breakup is ridiculous.


No more ridiculous than turning them down because they haven't been married by some artificial age number.


Trying is more appealing than sitting at home.


Who's talking about sitting at home?
I'm talking about making the RIGHT decision about who you decide to spend the rest of your life with, based on careful consideration, and not just because 2 guys ASKED you to, and you just couldn't say no, and they both failed later.


Failure isn't always a bad thing.
At least some people try.


Channeling Master Yoda:

"Do...or do not. There is no try."


Until you're divorced, you're still legally married no matter how separated you are.


This type of logic is just incomprehensible to those who either refuse to, or are unable to, think logically.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 44
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 11:17:06 AM
Fullmoon, you're commitment phobic. Fear of making a mistake has you frozen in fear. So what if a relationship ends? It's not the end of the world. Your fear is out of control.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 45
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 11:27:07 AM

"Do...or do not. There is no try."


That's cute, but he's a fictional character.
Maybe that should be your epitaph "There is no try".
Lucky for everyone, people throughout history haven't
had that motto.
We'd still be living in caves and you'd still be single.

Hahahahahaha!
You're a hoot.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 46
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 11:35:19 AM

Fullmoon, you're commitment phobic. Fear of making a mistake has you frozen in fear. So what if a relationship ends? It's not the end of the world. Your fear is out of control.



A relationship doesn't necessarily involve marriage.

They call it the institution of marriage because I would have to be institutionalized to do it again. Hell I may need to be committed to an institution if I decided to be in a committed relationship in this current environment.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 47
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 11:35:33 AM

So what if a relationship ends? It's not the end of the world.


Now that's a real commitment attitude.

Not.

Can't imagine why your marriages failed and didn't last till death you parted.




Fullmoon, you're commitment phobic


I have longer commitments with many of my inanimate possessions that you do with marriages to living breathing people.

I have no desire to commit to anyone who doesn't take a commitment seriously.

VVVVVVV

Considering that your track record clearly demonstrates that you have no clue how to assess even the potential success of a marriage (since your decision is based simply on whoever asks you to marry them), I won't even consider your advice with or without a grain of salt.

Come hell or high water, I would rather be single, never married, knowing that I would be an excellent husband to the right person (someone who also takes commitment seriously) rather than being twice-divorced (twice-failed) because of an inability to either follow through on commitment, or an inability to pick a quality mate to begin with.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 48
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 11:46:59 AM
That's your fear talking. You're trying to rationalize not being rational. The only way you know you've had a forever long-lasting, never-ending, marriage is by your partner dying while in that relationship☺ That's a long time to wait, and it's not a given it was a good or successful marriage.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 49
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 11:47:49 AM

A relationship doesn't necessarily involve marriage.


Does that mean when I accidentally married you on purpose and ran
away we weren't really committed?



In order to retain the highest quality forums, you aren't restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours, someone else can't post.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 50
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Anybody else keep meeting people not over their exes?
Posted: 6/21/2018 11:57:30 AM

Does that mean when I accidentally married you on purpose and ran
away we weren't really committed?


We were committed...

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