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 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 51
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Posted By: SS4544Spd on 6/26/2018 610 PM
Subject: How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Message: Hemingway wrote:
You should wait at least 19 to 24 months to move in or get married. You need to see a track record over time..........it's hard to keep up an act that long, there is a good chance you'll see the real person by then.
Does that mean if one moves in, or gets married at 18 months, it will be a disaster?

Does the real person reveal him/herself on the 30th or 31st of the 18th month? Or the 28th, if it's Feburary? Unless it's a leap year, then....um never mind.


Takes about 7 year actually,beware "The 7 year itch" lol
 thebestgirl1977
Joined: 9/2/2018
Msg: 52
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 9/8/2018 5:26:00 PM
There is no best time to move in together. For example, my parent's knew each other for only two month before getting married. They've celebrated their 42nd anniversary this year. They liked each other and took a leap of faith. It worked out great for them. But each couple is different and for some it might take a lot longer to start living together.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 53
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 9/9/2018 4:34:37 PM
I think there's a 50/50 shot that moving in together early on will be a success. The reality is that you either will get along well living with someone or you won't. But I think it also comes down to one or both people being decent to live with. If one person turns out to be a slob and does not contribute to the household, things will go south.
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 54
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 9/10/2018 4:06:05 AM
HAHA...You can call me a phobic but after going thru a divorce and losing everything as many do....living with a woman on any terms is at this point not going to happen....love them staying over and even the whole dating scene but I have seen guys who get married multiple times and can't figure out why they or their women keep punishing themselves...lol...I can be monogamous and really hate the dating scene because even the older people [ men and women] play games as the younger crowd do.....it's sad!
 Seahorse_Jockey
Joined: 8/24/2018
Msg: 55
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 9/10/2018 8:33:34 AM

But I think it also comes down to one or both people being decent to live with.


One or both people? Call me skeptical, but I think it would take both people to be decent for a relationship to work.
 bearcat44
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 56
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 10/19/2018 10:18:38 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVXdxaaRiAU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pPGijYBaVE&t=95s
 bearcat44
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 57
How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 10/19/2018 5:18:11 PM
Time to WAKE UP:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVXdxaaRiAU&t=87s


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pPGijYBaVE






Time to WAKE UP:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVXdxaaRiAU&t=87s


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pPGijYBaVE
 cw35
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 58
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 10/24/2018 5:16:18 PM
I find women want to move in together quite quickly. If you know you're going to be seeing each other almost every day anyway, it just makes more sense to move in quickly I guess. It's always worked out good for me and the relationships were really great and long term. I did have someone only date me a couple of times from POF and wanted to move in which was way too fast for me. Don't think I'd do it now that I'm older though.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 59
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 10/25/2018 2:07:30 PM

There is no best time to move in together.

I agree, but there are Bad times to do it, though.

For example, my parent's knew each other for only two month before getting married. They've celebrated their 42nd anniversary this year.

That's not a good idea, although way-back-in-the-day that was more feasible, with divorce not so much an option. But even so, not the best move back then either. Especially in modern times, not living in an era of get-hitched-n-breed as a marker for "successful life" -- getting married real quick is a statistically a Bad Idea. It makes getting-serious super quick look like childs play. But hey, Anything technically Can work out -- which is why stories like that stick out in our memories, and the vast majority of the ones that don't, as it's expected not to work out.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 60
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 10/30/2018 7:49:38 AM
We don't have any plan to get married.Don't really see the need for that(we are not having kids at 65) and we would have to pay the government every April 15th for that right because of the "marriage penalty". I made that mistake with my last(2nd) wife.We lived together peacefully as BF and GF for 10 years then got married and it all went to hell in one year.To add insult to the injury of our divorce I had to pay the IRS over $3,000 as a "marriage penalty" for that one year of hell.
 DawnNuSun
Joined: 10/29/2018
Msg: 61
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/7/2018 8:29:13 AM
I would never move in with anyone, nor would I allow anyone to move in with me. That has been my rule through all my years of being single. Marriage was enough for me to know that I like living alone. To me, moving in together would ruin a relationship. But, I don't think there is any set time for moving in together. Folks should just follow their hearts. When the time feels right, just do it.
 Noftheborder
Joined: 10/4/2018
Msg: 62
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/7/2018 8:41:55 AM
If living together is what suits you, do it whenever it feels right. I'm all for living together before the legalities of marriage and smart enough to get out before any legalities of common law kick in if you find out the other person's a horror to live with. There's no better way than to know you are suited to live together than actually living together. The divorce rate and complaints of being taken to the cleaners would be far less if compatibilities in all areas were tested first, rather than last.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 63
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/7/2018 4:04:45 PM

I'm all for living together before the legalities of marriage and smart enough to get out before any legalities of common law kick in if you find out the other person's a horror to live with.


If you have to think of an exit strategy before even living together, maybe living together is not a good idea. It's like having a pre-nup, which is not a bad idea. The main issue is: who is moving in with who? One person will have to give up their place, unless they both give up their places and get a place together.
 RefinedRibbon
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 64
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/7/2018 6:50:28 PM
It can take a year you have to do the whole video cam and meet in real few times like courting and them stay over take it slow. Its not good to rush to move in together it can be hard to get out of its good to stay where you are you can stay at each other places for weeks or months. Its a two way street.
 RefinedRibbon
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 65
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/7/2018 6:53:03 PM
You also wanna make sure that person saying who they are that they are not hiding anything I had a ex that was closet drinker I did know until I would stay months he would sneak late at night go to the gas station but it gave me a sign to get out Why you have to see how its going to go staying with each other see if its going to be compatible just as you are dating good to be upfront with everything.
 jerseynative7
Joined: 10/26/2018
Msg: 66
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/10/2018 1:09:27 PM
I would not move in with a man (again) unless we are engaged to be married. I mean with an actual ring on my finger, not just talking about it.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 67
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/11/2018 9:12:40 AM
^^^ That sounds really bad. Did you read that and think about what you were saying before you hit the POST button?


This part in particular. It makes you sound very, very "material", to quote Madonna.

jerseynative7
an actual ring on my finger


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 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 68
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/11/2018 9:29:30 AM
msg#67:
^^^ That sounds really bad. Did you read that and think about what you were saying before you hit the POST button?


This part in particular. It makes you sound very, very "material", to quote Madonna.

jerseynative7
an actual ring on my finger


Really Ohenry?
I did not take it that way at all.
I think she meant (I may be wrong) that she wanted a very serious commitment before cohabiting. As in it leading to actual marriage, as signified by the giving of a ring. (does not have to be the Hope Diamond!)
(Smile)
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 69
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/11/2018 9:55:48 AM
"actual marriage, as signified by the giving of a ring. (does not have to be the Hope Diamond!)"

Does that mean it could be a ring from a Cracker Jack box? After all, it's the thought that counts.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 70
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/11/2018 12:28:50 PM
I think that if you want to live with someone after only knowing them a couple months, that is a good sign the relationship is good but it doesn't mean you should do it. If anything, each person maintains their own place and spends time staying with the other person much of the time. Find out all each other's bad habits first before committing to cohabitation. I lived with my ex after only 4 and a half months because my roommate moved out. Big mistake. Once you figure out you have someone living with you, it's so much harder to get rid of them.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 71
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/11/2018 8:19:34 PM

I did not take it that way at all.

It doesn't Necessarily mean she's materialistic on finances/jewelry -- but at least something similar to that: Taking a materialistic approach to being married.

I think she meant (I may be wrong) that she wanted a very serious commitment before cohabiting.

You don't have to have a ring on the finger for it to be a very serious commitment, of course. And cohabitating in an established relationship does make it a Very serious commitment, or More serious relationship if it already was.

I think the criticism is that one's chasing the concept. A reasonable person is going to want to move in with someone Before getting engaged (booking a marriage ceremony). When one has the mindset that they want the person to prove themselves by getting them a ring to marry them before they'd consider moving in -- underneath it all, they're chasing being married, where that concept itself gives them completion and satisfaction [insert-person-here]. Yikes.

I think that if you want to live with someone after only knowing them a couple months, that is a good sign the relationship is good but it doesn't mean you should do it.

I agree. The key is only KNOWING them a couple months, not just Dating them a couple months, too. Also, if you kick it off and want to live with them -- it's a good sign things are good, although it can also be a sign of someone willing to scare the other person away if that desire is taken too seriously so quickly.

Find out all each other's bad habits first before committing to cohabitation.

I agree. Which is why one wouldn't ever want to go ring-shopping until at least a year of serious dating's been had. You want to progress from meshing free-time lives to starting to mesh lives in general... to where their place is practically your place, vice versa and getting situated like that. Many times people can think it's like that, when it's really not so much -- they're just used to them sleeping over and a few of their things are there. I think one key is when being able to "Air BNB" one's house from time to time, and it ain't no thing -- that's where you're Practically living together. A good marker to hit before you two go house/apt/condo shopping together.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 72
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/11/2018 9:31:10 PM

I would not move in with a man (again) unless we are engaged to be married. I mean with an actual ring on my finger, not just talking about it.


Interesting. It should be more than just "an actual ring on my finger", but actively PLANNING a wedding & merging one's life with another's. Wearing a ring is only one part of the engagement process. Too many folks get hung up on the idea that a ring = engagement. I've known people who've been "engaged" for months/years wearing pretty shiny rings but have done no wedding planning. When you ask them about the "date", they have no answer. Are they really engaged or just wearing a ring? I'm guessing the latter.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 73
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/11/2018 10:14:22 PM
Here, I'm not sure about the engagement thing. I know in Canada the marriage rates are much lower. In fact, only maybe half the parents at my kids' school are married; the other half are commonlaw and that's at a Catholic school. What is interesting is that more couples who have kids are not married when their first kid is born. Many marriages occur afterwards. Very few weddings I know of these days where kids aren't already present.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 74
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/12/2018 7:44:27 AM
Many women want to get married.

Men want everything to stay the same.

Classic stuff. Some things never change.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 75
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How Long Should You Date Someone Before Moving In Together?
Posted: 11/12/2018 7:47:11 AM

Are they really engaged or just wearing a ring? I'm guessing the latter.


What did people do back in the caveman/pioneer days, when there weren't any jewelry stores or on-line shopping to buy rings? That didn't stop people from dating and mating. I think the whole idea that a woman must have an expensive ring, or there's no marriage, is outdated. But the jewelry industry keeps perpetuating the myth that the only way to show love is for a woman to get a diamond ring. I'm surprised that the industry hasn't brainwashed people into thinking that a man must get an engagement ring as well-purchased by the bride-to-be. It would double their business, and therefore, double their profits.
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