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 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 76
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Modern datingPage 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

If every woman has a long list of guys to choose from, why do so many women end up choosing the "wrong" guy, and whine about being duped afterwards? Many women will say it's the guy's fault, for the woman's lack of judgement.


Because he was a "bad boy" and she probably found the less questionable guys boring.


It's only in favor of women in the illusion world of pof. In reality it's you know... A lot of low quality prospects, fewer better ones, for both sides.


I think it still favors women in the real world. It always has. Women are the ones that do the choosing and get approached in general. If people are approaching you, and you're making the decisions, you have all the power. Plus, a man will never have the same social status as a woman. Sure, a guy that looks nice and has a nice car can get a bit of attention at a night club, that's until a 25 year old blonde bombshell walks in.


Actually....yes....it should!!
If more women practiced what they preached....this wouldn't be an issue!


Absolutely, but life is full of people that want to have their cake and eat it to. I think men and women will always have social differences and no amount of feminism will change that. It's our nature.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 77
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/21/2018 4:29:55 PM
Not that old myth. Women like bad boys and find nice guys boring. According to researchers, most women value proper decent qualities in a guy. I know some guys want an excuse as to why they are not getting dates or in a relationship, but all research suggests in practice women have relationships and want proper quality men and are only sticking to relationships where the guy is nice and “boring”.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 78
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/21/2018 7:14:13 PM
..... Thank you for such a sweet complement Blonde Angel ~
..... I can read your mind though ~

Your thinkin' > " Yep, he seems like an honest man, hmmm though ???? There are lots of honest men, as I have said often "
^^^ yep, you have, col

the game is highly in favor of women,so they can reject guy after guy

ahhh, so you have learned a thing or two about nature ? ...
~ all is not lost then ( col > chuckle out loud )
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 79
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/21/2018 9:18:27 PM


hey angel 1
a beautiful song ~ with some angel music ~ for you ^^^^

sad & bittersweet, it speaks of love un-requited, never shared ...
I think you'll like it, a haunting message of a relationship gone, horribly wrong ...

SOME KIND OF FOOL by David Sylvan

> turn it up ^
yes - that means you angel 1 , you lil' platipie ( term of endearment ) < col

heart / sun
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 80
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/21/2018 11:32:33 PM

Not that old myth. Women like bad boys and find nice guys boring. According to researchers, most women value proper decent qualities in a guy. I know some guys want an excuse as to why they are not getting dates or in a relationship, but all research suggests in practice women have relationships and want proper quality men and are only sticking to relationships where the guy is nice and “boring”.


Which researchers? What research?
I don't believe there's any scientific consensus on that.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 81
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Posted: 7/22/2018 3:51:08 AM
Really? Hundreds or more it’s well documented. We were studying it way back on my various psychology courses. Bad boys are short term flings. The successful relationships that are long term are with men who are higher quality. A women usually leaves a relationship if she can’t influence a man with her good intentions in a relationship. Rather than put it on me to find all this, why don’t you research it ,seeing as you manage to use your finger for POF

Edit
This one is just a quick one I found on google. It’s a beginners guide I guess. Who Is More Likely to Leave a Bad Relationship? | Psychology Today
https://www.psychologytoday.com › ...
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 82
Modern dating
Posted: 7/22/2018 5:39:56 AM

Women like bad boys and find nice guys boring.


On the bad boy/nice guy issue-define what is a bad boy and what is a nice guy. Is a bad boy someone who is abusive and/or criminally insane? Why would women find that attractive? Do women who are after a bad boy hang around prisons to see who is getting released, and go after those guys? Is it totally impossible for a nice guy to not be boring, or do women have preconceived notions that any guy who is not acting like a crazed criminal must be boring, no matter what?
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 83
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Posted: 7/22/2018 5:56:22 AM
msg #76 Coma White:

I think it still favors women in the real world. It always has. Women are the ones that do the choosing and get approached in general. If people are approaching you, and you're making the decisions, you have all the power. Plus, a man will never have the same social status as a woman. Sure, a guy that looks nice and has a nice car can get a bit of attention at a night club, that's until a 25 year old blonde bombshell walks in.


Did not want to take it out of context so I copied the whole thing here. What I'm confused about is the "a guy that looks nice and has a nice car can get a bit of attention at a night club, that's until a 25 year old blonde bombshell walks in."

I assumed , maybe in error, that the 'bombshell' was female. So the handsome guy with the cool car walks into the night club, people fawn over him, want to be his best friend, buy him drinks, etc. UNTIL the blonde bombshell shows up all bright shiny and new. Then he's old news and she's getting fawned over, everyone wants to be in her orbit, buy her drinks, etc.

I assume, maybe in error again, that their 'audience' is not the same. The dude wants to attract women, the bombshell, the men. (though attractive people attract those of either sex). So the cool guy feels 'less' because the blonde bombshell is now getting more attention that he is? I don't get what you're driving at. Seems an apples and oranges comparison to me unless they are both vying for the same people's attention.

With any luck, the cool dude and the bombshell will ride off into the night together in his cool car, and leave the rest of the 'mere mortals' to party on!

Or is it that the 'blonde bombshell' is a young hot guy, maybe with out a cool car, but who can rule the room, and totally overshadow the 'nice guy with the nice car'---probably true, but what's that got to do with the difference in social status between men and women? I don't get it.
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 84
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Posted: 7/22/2018 7:02:07 AM
^I cud not make sense of what he said either in truth:)))) The good looking guy with the flash car wud be getting the attention of the women, unless he is gay?, while the hot girl wud be getting the attention of the men, unless she is a lesbian?, so neither wud be affect by the others success rate lol, What I wud say is it take's a lot less effort for a woman to get a man, than it does for a man to get a woman n this a double standard...

"plus men spend far more money on women, than women spend on men, many western women are entitled n expect everything on a silver platter, so men do get fed up with all the double standards in dating, of course we do like things about women, but others really turn us off them" Are women the gate keepers n do they hold on far too tightly to the keys to their Chastity belts, because they can manipulate, so many men, lead men on n use men, who want those keys? I wud say, that is a fact"
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 85
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Posted: 7/22/2018 8:21:47 AM
Do women really go for 'bad boys'? Here's the science that settles ...
theconversation.com › scientific studies coma


Edit double standard in dating^^^ because women get more attention or find it easier? That’s not a double standard. A double standard is applying a rule or principle to different people of groups. In who gets the most attention it would be men driving that not the women and is neither a rule or principle .It is not a rule that men give attention to what they wish to give it to. Like they may initially give attention in relationships and then neglect them in favour of paying more attention to hobbies, work or whatever which also leads to break ups. neglect
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 86
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Posted: 7/22/2018 11:45:47 AM
^Never heard of that actually men who have stopped giving attention to their ladies was usually from something the lady did or does, they have no desire to be around her all the time for it. Ladies expect guys to give up time for the things they enjoy doing, well guess what that creates with that selfish act? It creates resentment over time as the guy is always sacrificing his happiness for her, which is why you shouldn't expect a guy to make more time for you. My relationships of 3-5 yrs only lasted cause they didn't try to do that, the minute they did I just laughed said good luck with that. They also didn't make any plans for me without asking me first if they did they got a real shock I didn't do it. They asked why not? I told them maybe you should have thought about my feelings on you volunteering things to what I will or will not do. You don't speak for me, nor do you tell people I will do something without my consent, you can do it all you like have fun but you want me to do something you ask not make plans and tell me.

My friends never got the concept how do you do that type shit? I said do what make a decision for myself and tell her what I am doing? She says I made plans for us and I say no I am doing this? You mean that stuff cause no one makes decisions for me I am an adult! I invited her to come along she responded with she made plans for us! You see the problem here? One person respects the other enough to ask, the other just decides to attempt control and that is not respectful. It's you make your own choices for yourself they can present the idea you can say "yes" or "no" that is your choice no one has the right to take that human right from you ever.

So the bullshit good intentions stuff comes with control, and taking away someone else's actual human right to make their own decision for themselves. Ladies think they can be in a relationship with a guy who enforces his own? Like seriously you got this concept I made plans for us shit without consulting and think your right in your actions. Friends tell me I need to ask my wife or girlfriend first! I set down my pool cue said excuse me? You can't say to your girlfriend I am going to do this with this person? They said no I need to see if she made plans for us! I say what? Are you an idiot? He is arguing over how much she cares now I said let me explain "caring" it doesn't involve taking away your freedom to make your own choices on things you want to do in your life. They said well you ask! I said no I don't I say I am doing this would you like to join me, not what have you planned for us huge difference. If she wants to do something together she wants she asks me the same thing, would I be interested in joining her? She can do it by herself if she likes I just like to know she is doing it so I don't go home wondering where she is.

This all starts on the first date it shows pattern mutual respect, cause they deserve it you mess with that your going to have problems.

Lady wants more attention in relationships and guy develops a spine and shifts to his own desires now she has an issue. Yeah her issue is he is not giving up his freedom of choice for her a$$.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 87
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Posted: 7/22/2018 12:46:18 PM
Well most of my relationships are not about denying or controlling men. They are free to come and go in regards to hobbies or guy time. Think you are talking about co dependent unhealthy relationships and using them as an example of neglect “It’s the controlling demanding women’s fault”. This is not what was even in question or in the research . It was otherwise healthy relationships where obsession and placing emotional burdens on women to maintain it ,while a guy becomes absorbed with other things can and does end relationships. Lack of nurture does these things for some reason.
Edit it’s also a myth that women wish to be around their partner all time too and don’t wish for girl time and nights out. In fact a women’s desire for personally freedom can be stronger in many ways than a mans, but if she acts on it a guy will usually be upfront if it becomes neglectful for him “I don’t feel appreciated” or just descend into downright Jelousy on his part. He plays up to regain control over said women. Usually by shaming her on her “traditional role” which is him first him middle and him last.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 88
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Posted: 7/22/2018 1:15:49 PM

Did not want to take it out of context so I copied the whole thing here. What I'm confused about is the "a guy that looks nice and has a nice car can get a bit of attention at a night club, that's until a 25 year old blonde bombshell walks in."

I assumed , maybe in error, that the 'bombshell' was female. So the handsome guy with the cool car walks into the night club, people fawn over him, want to be his best friend, buy him drinks, etc. UNTIL the blonde bombshell shows up all bright shiny and new. Then he's old news and she's getting fawned over, everyone wants to be in her orbit, buy her drinks, etc.


I meant a female, blonde bombshell. No matter how good looking a guy is or how much money he has, he's never going to have the same social status as a woman. That's a basic fact. It's backed up by metrics in the sense that a good looking woman on any social media platform like Facebook will get about ten times the amount of messages and dating offers as an equally good looking man will. The good looking/rich guy in the club won't get approached non stop or receive offers to go to tropical destinations like the woman will. This isn't something people should be upset about, it's just a basic difference between men and women.
 lulz567
Joined: 7/6/2018
Msg: 89
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Posted: 7/22/2018 1:28:03 PM
^^^Who should get upset about it? The bombshell receiving the attention that men wish they could receive and are butt hurt because they want all that attention too? Or the men giving her attention should be upset that he is that superficial that he feels such an urge to “despite his better judgement”Give attention to her anyway.Women don’t care how much attention they receive ,it’s quality over quantity and if guys were not so wishing to apire to wishing for variety and amount of messages equally wanting quality they would stop pushing this guilt trip on” Its women’s fault too” constantly.

Edit sorry misread ,you said this isn’t something people should get upset about. I agree
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 90
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Posted: 7/22/2018 1:36:09 PM

I don't want to, I don't have to, you can't make me. I have women's underwear on and it fits fine.

If all I had to do is wear women's underpants that fit well to suddenly change the universe for me where girls wrote me online, made the first moves in dating from coming up to me to flirt + ask for a # + ask me out on dates + ask me to go to their place after date #1 or #2 -- I'd happily have my drawers stuffed with them. :)

Ladies have you approached men you fancied and risked getting rejected?
Have you ever treated a male date to a meal?
Have you ever picked up a male for a date?
Have you ever opened the door for a male date and pulled a chair out for him?
Have you ever given flowers or chocolates to a male date?
Have you ever initiated sex with a male date?

Although significantly less common, it's Not rare to find a gal to partake in One of those, once in a while, given certain circumstances. I've experienced a gal doing such on each one of those. But No gal hitting up All of those line-items. That would be such a rarity where it rounds to 0%.

Bottom line is this: If the roles were reversed gender-wise on how people go about things + expectations... us guys wouldn't want to switch either. :) And there'd be many guys coming up with ill-fitting excuses as to why it's Good and should be that way, etc., using 'tradition' (ie it's been that way; don't rock the boat) as backing too.

I think in general, women don't appreciate their situation VS men, especially when their dating luck isn't going well (rolls eyes) -- and I think frustrated men get too wound up about it when their luck's running dry, instead of using the unequally tilted playing field of culture as a tool for self-improvement.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 91
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Posted: 7/22/2018 4:27:30 PM
The fact of the matter is that men on average make more money then women. That in itself holds some power. So when it comes to paying for a meal it's not exactly unexpected that the man often pays.

There is also something to be said for showing manhood. Where I live, maybe things are still old fashioned but a girl paying for a meal or a girl driving her date around or a girl asking a guy out is still frowned upon. Most guys wouldn't allow it to happen because they might feel it'll make them look less manley. But I know that's more small town guys. City guys are a different breed. From what I observed with my ex-inlaws is that in the working class areas of cities, its the girls who often do the chasing. A country girl just doesn't do those things.
 BLONDE_ANGEL_1
Joined: 4/27/2018
Msg: 92
Modern dating
Posted: 7/22/2018 5:39:04 PM

Where I live, maybe things are still old fashioned but a girl paying for a meal or a girl driving her date around or a girl asking a guy out is still frowned upon. Most guys wouldn't allow it to happen because they might feel it'll make them look less manley. But I know that's more small town guys. City guys are a different breed. From what I observed with my ex-inlaws is that in the working class areas of cities, its the girls who often do the chasing. A country girl just doesn't do those things.


^
Bec. u live in the country, follow "the rules"
WHEN IN ROME,DO AS THE ROMANS DO
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 93
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Posted: 7/22/2018 5:51:42 PM
"Men chasing women has nothing to do with manhood n everything to do with lack of options, do women really think, that men in general enjoy putting themselves on the line to constantly get rejected by women n enjoy the way most western women are so dam entitled these days? Of course not, but a lot will play along, because they are suckers for manipulative women n the guilt shaming these woman use, so these men are too scared to ever say a word out of place to a woman, or stand up to women, who have self entitlement syndrome "

"Most Heterosexual men, before feminism used to think that a woman would complete their life n bring them happiness, but the high divorce rates prove it does not n the large number of single mothers in today's society, is a clear sign that society is broken n the traditional family unit, is going to be referred to in a past tense in the future"

"dating is a numbers game n many women get away with treating men very badly, because women have it massively in their favour n sadly can make almost any demands, they want from a man, they also know that he knows, that if he refuses he will be replaced in a second"
 ItCouldBeNice2
Joined: 4/5/2018
Msg: 94
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Posted: 7/22/2018 8:03:13 PM
Modern dating seems more about avoiding relationships... or having something that technically is a relationship, but not calling it a "relationship" per se. I don't think it should be about changing gender roles, but it could be about dropping gender habits that are not effective.

Anyhow regarding the list:

1) I usually split the costs of going out to dinner... just like I do with my female friends. That seems fair. However, I will invite people to dinner at my house for home cooked meal... all of which I pay for and prepare.

2) I usually meet people somewhere if we are going out someplace. I do this with my female friends too. If it makes sense to take one car because we have to pay for parking, I usually drive and we split the costs of parking. If it is a short trip, we don't split gasoline expenses. I pay for that. No big deal. However, if we are going on a trip out of town, we usually take my travel buddy's car because he has cruise control and his car is more comfortable than mine. We split gasoline costs. But, I pay for tolls because I have an I-pass. I have better physical endurance, so I end up doing most of the driving. He normally falls asleep while we are driving.

3) I open doors for all types of people: men, women, children. It is a nice thing to do. I don't usually pull out chairs for people because most people are capable of doing that for themselves. The only person that I do this for is one of my fat female friends because she has problems getting into a chair and I worry about her falling.

4) I gave flowers to my ex when we were dating. I gave him a stuffed animal too. I bought him a ton of shirts and ties that I thought would look good for work. I am more likely to give someone something I think they will like... usually beer.

5) Well, if I am in a romantic relationship with a man, I'm pretty sure that I am initiating sex with him a lot. Initiating sex with someone who is NOT my romantic partner... um... no way! Of course, I am waiting for the day that men feel the same way so that things can be truly equal.

6) I would say "hello" and talk to a man I am interested in. However, if I don't get a positive response, I would not persist. I figure the people who want to date me generally will make that clearer along the way. Sometimes people are just being friendly... not really interested in dating. Being too persistent and pushy with someone who doesn't show interest is usually perceived by others to be annoying.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 95
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Posted: 7/22/2018 8:46:59 PM

Bec. u live in the country, follow "the rules"
WHEN IN ROME,DO AS THE ROMANS DO

It's not the country, but the area. Small towns, in this case. Which I roll my eyes at those high-school baby games. If I grew up in one where one of my parents did, and my parents said "stop playing high school" games -- I'd point to girls shouldn't drive with their guy in the passenger seat as "Exhibit A to STFU, hypocrite mom & dad." :)

Actual manliness would not be having a problem or worrying that he'd be in a girl's passenger seat. Of course, it's not so much manliness, but just lacking in self-esteem image issues.

Modern dating seems more about avoiding relationships... or having something that technically is a relationship, but not calling it a "relationship" per se.

I don't think so at all. I think modern dating Allows it to be Kosher (among many) to be "just dating" or to date with explicitly not wanting to get into a Relationship. I think this isn't a bad thing at all. But change & diversity in wants/expectations makes things more difficult, with a lower % being in a Relationship-or-Bust mode.

Being in a world where settling down & breeding isn't necessary for a fruitful survival -- others who grew up in an environment that was the equivalent of advertising Hallmark movies as the way of life, I can understand being frustrated.

1) I usually split the costs of going out to dinner... just like I do with my female friends. That seems fair. However, I will invite people to dinner at my house for home cooked meal... all of which I pay for and prepare.

That's not traditional at all. Actually Less traditional than allowing to be in the mode to date-but-nothing-serious.

2) I usually meet people somewhere if we are going out someplace. I do this with my female friends too. If it makes sense to take one car because we have to pay for parking, I usually drive and we split the costs of parking.

That's odd to the traditionalist -- not that you'd drive (sometimes), but you Usually be driving all the guys you date (as opposed to 'this one guy' you'd drive usually, due to particular circumstances).

3) I open doors for all types of people: men, women, children. It is a nice thing to do.

Not just holding the door open, but opening the door For the other, allowing them to go thru first. I don't think it takes away from a traditionalist woman to have opened the door for a man under certain circumstances -- like a guy injured or he's a senior and he's way older than she. Or a crowd of people involving women & children too, to open the door for the whole crowd behind them eager to get in. But have you, on a date, with just 1 door to go thru for the entrance, stepped forward to open the door for Your Date (not a BF), on purpose?

4) I gave flowers to my ex when we were dating. I gave him a stuffed animal too.

I don't think that breaks any traditionalist's rules for a Significant Other. As that's very different than him merely being a Date, who you want to win over. Done that? :)

5) Well, if I am in a romantic relationship with a man, I'm pretty sure that I am initiating sex with him a lot.

Again, that's a whole other ball of wax (no sexual pun intended). It's if you're initiating sex with a guy who you're not an item with. Big difference.

6) I would say "hello" and talk to a man I am interested in. However, if I don't get a positive response, I would not persist.

If he's in your zone/social-circle-area, that's not really breaking traditionalist rules at all. That's just being a female who's talkative who's probably going to be more pointed in the direction of a guy who she finds attractive, sure.

I think the real question is: To a guy who's not in your space/social-circle/zone, but a guy who catches your eye when you're "mall watching", walk Over to him over where he's at, and attempt to strike up a conversation by saying hello?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 96
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Posted: 7/22/2018 9:47:28 PM
Feminism isn't causing men anything other than it's against the law to sexually abuse anyone, not just women. The women are the same as they always have been, the men are the same as they always have been. Why are you attacking women you don't like and instead find the women you do like. It is so easy, don't be the problem.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 97
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Posted: 7/22/2018 10:24:01 PM
Generally I always open a door for someone 70+ or a pregnant woman or disabled person or women with kids but anyone else I kind of just hold it open and wait for them to come behind me. I am incredibly uncomfortable when someone opens the door for me and waits for me to go through, I just find it odd.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 98
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Posted: 7/22/2018 10:36:02 PM
Yeah I try to avoid it too lol, if it's someone I don't know.
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 99
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Posted: 7/23/2018 2:02:57 AM

"Men chasing women has nothing to do with manhood n everything to do with lack of options, do women really think, that men in general enjoy putting themselves on the line to constantly get rejected by women n enjoy the way most western women are so dam entitled these days? Of course not, but a lot will play along, because they are suckers for manipulative women n the guilt shaming these woman use, so these men are too scared to ever say a word out of place to a woman, or stand up to women, who have self entitlement syndrome "

So, men are suckers?


"Most Heterosexual men, before feminism used to think that a woman would complete their life n bring them happiness, but the high divorce rates prove it does not n the large number of single mothers in today's society, is a clear sign that society is broken n the traditional family unit, is going to be referred to in a past tense in the future"

Why are men looking to someone else for their happiness? 29% of Single mothers do not receive child support. Men are rendering themselves nonessential, if they do not participate in the family unit they help create.


"dating is a numbers game n many women get away with treating men very badly, because women have it massively in their favour n sadly can make almost any demands, they want from a man, they also know that he knows, that if he refuses he will be replaced in a second"

MGTOW.com
Your posts are so repetitive, boring and unoriginal. Good for insomnia, however ...
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 100
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Posted: 7/23/2018 4:55:55 AM

persistent in getting him to date her>even if he rejects her?? court the man, pick him up for dates, pay for the dates, buy him gifts, open doors for him, initiate sex etc"

Oh gee no I'm not a man, what is this??
sure buying gifts and paying for some dates yeah but there is a line that I don't like to cross.
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