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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 126
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Modern datingPage 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Btw, do you think Trump didn't pay for dates when he was single?


The day a man as rich as Donald Trump asks you out....you are more than welcome to let him pay for whatever his little ole' heart desires!!

Do you really think comparing a man of his wealth to us everyday folk in the forum is helping prove your point???
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 127
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/24/2018 5:51:50 PM
LOL. When single? Trump has been picking up women throughout all his marriages...when single, now that was hilarious.

Modern dating is the same as dating through history, people try to make certain things different, but people have always been the same. You can make all the restrictions you want, shame people, force beliefs on them, but they will always find ways to be themselves.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 128
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/24/2018 8:23:17 PM

I think some nice guys do oversell it or they come across as boring. And contrary to what some people seem to believe, nice does not have to equal boring.

I know some women that will say "he was nice but boring" as a reason for not wanting another date. The ironic thing is these women probably won't win an award for Miss Congeniality either. They expect a man to carry the load in being funny, witty and charming etc.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 129
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/24/2018 10:58:44 PM
Unless a guy is 18 years old and hasn't experienced life, he should have something to say. Everyone should be able to talk about family, friends, work, things you like to do, places you've been, movies you liked, food you like, etc. From prior conversation, where you found each other interesting, you should be able to expound on that.
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 130
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/24/2018 11:24:10 PM
"Some women think getting made-up n just turning up to a date is enough, but they expect the guy to do the majority of the talking, be a stand up comedian, boost her ego with endless compliments n pay for everything, yep dating must be so hard for women:) western women have never been so entitled n they are really out of touch with, what dating should be for both men n women, too many women complicate things by being so self centred, self entitled, penny pinching n they are not willing to change with society, because keeping very old traditions are beneficial to them, but these traditions were around when women did not have their own money n were not working"

"In these modern times, women should be paying their own way on dates n they have no excuse not too" women can't go on about equality, when they are entitled in the dating world n refuse to get rid of very old traditions, that were only around, because women did not have their own money n property, but now they have everything a man has n much, much more, thanks to the matriarchy welfare state giving them free stuff"
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 131
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Modern dating
Posted: 7/25/2018 12:50:46 AM
^^^^what's the matter, you can't find the mgtow thread? There are a few of them. If you want a woman to take you on a date, go find one. No one is stopping you.
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 132
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Posted: 7/25/2018 1:20:37 AM
^https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16626339.aspx
MSG 3 - what you said - I would not expect someone to outlay that kind of cash on a first date. No, I don't contribute, I'm the lady"
"Your all about the money n self entitled, but who ever said you was a lady?"
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 133
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Posted: 7/25/2018 1:29:56 AM

In some cases, it could be a matter of the "good guys" overselling their "niceness". I've seen them in action, and it's not pretty. Non-assertive, agreeable, gives excessive praise, is TOO humble, etc. It all comes across like a sales pitch after a while.

Sucks Pig's gone... but I will respond, as I'm sure he'll be back in the not too distant future: There's two version of a proposed "Nice Guy" impression. One, he's not being a Mr Nice Guy -- he's just not a bad guy at all; seems nice; whatever. He's not overplaying anything. Or maybe he could be, but that'd be irrelevant anyway. She lacks the adequate physical attraction toward him, and things go well and all, but there's nothing else to describe him as. It's easier to think he was boring/bland/whatever -- than "He's not good looking enough for me" -- even just to oneself.

Then there's the guy you refer to in your example -- but I will say a good % aren't consciously trying to sell/oversell anything. It's natural for all girls (Mr Nice Guy), or for a select # of girls when he's Really Into them off the bat and reflexively goes into Yes Man Mode. I think it's due the side-effects of what is pushed on guys growing up (by parents, grandparents, females).

And contrary to what some people seem to believe, nice does not have to equal boring. Nice just means that the person considers the other person's feelings and takes care not to tread on them, basically they are kind. Nice also does not have to mean someone is a doormat or always-agreeable.

I agree. That's why referring to him as Nice is usually due to a lack-of-anything-else (positive) that comes to mind. They weren't into him (shrug). He doesn't have to be a doormat or overselling anything for a gal to get Roughly the same impression as if he was.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 134
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Posted: 7/25/2018 1:34:30 AM
^^^^^

Let's have a poll

How many consider Newyorker58 a lady?

How many consider Manofsubstance1970 to be an asshole?

I'm voting yes to both
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 135
Modern dating
Posted: 7/25/2018 6:42:33 AM

I don't care how good looking they are....if they can't support themselves....they are not relationship material.

I agree with this. He doesn't have to be rich. But he should make enough money to support himself. Even if he has a modest lifestyle.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 136
Modern dating
Posted: 7/25/2018 7:12:00 AM
" He doesn't have to be rich. But he should make enough money to support himself. Even if he has a modest lifestyle."

But is that guy still expected to pay for all of the dates, even if a woman he dates makes more money?
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 137
Modern dating
Posted: 7/25/2018 7:40:12 AM

But is that guy still expected to pay for all of the dates, even if a woman he dates makes more money?

I never said a man should pay for the all the dates. In one of the "Who pays?" threads, I have mentioned that I will offer to split the bill.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 138
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Posted: 7/25/2018 8:48:05 AM


simply that’s what you’re (the generic you) are concentrating on or remembering.

I have hundreds of women from all over the world on mine, and it's not a matter of confirmation bias. If you ever saw my News Feed on any given day, you would turn on your own gender.


Ah, but you're a special case in all ways.
I will concede the point rather than continue debating... mostly because I believe I'm right. :-)

Hopefully, you'll be back soon.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 139
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Posted: 7/25/2018 11:13:45 AM
Yeah I know people hate rules actually I didn't need these to post but some of you sound like you might actually need to catch up with times.

https://www.bolde.com/15-unwritten-rules-modern-dating/
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 140
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Posted: 7/25/2018 12:15:48 PM

OLD is largely about looks and stats for initial interest.


Which is why the majority of first meets go nowhere. There needs to be more than just a pretty picture to garner any real interest. That's why I prefer to get to know a guy before trying to date him. I no longer participate in OLD. Going on a date only because you find the person attractive is a waste of time.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 141
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Posted: 7/25/2018 12:22:51 PM

How many consider Newyorker58 a lady?


I don't think any broads from Noo Yawk are ladies. I was thinking of another four letter word...
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 142
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Posted: 7/25/2018 9:23:37 PM

Which is why the majority of first meets go nowhere. There needs to be more than just a pretty picture to garner any real interest. That's why I prefer to get to know a guy before trying to date him. I no longer participate in OLD. Going on a date only because you find the person attractive is a waste of time.


I think a lot of people would be more than happy to go on a date with someone that's attractive. 99% of chemistry is looks anyway.


I don't think any broads from Noo Yawk are ladies. I was thinking of another four letter word..


That's funny. The only person I know from New York is my uncle's wife. He's blind and he met her at a concert. She seems pretty nice.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 143
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Posted: 7/25/2018 9:48:09 PM

I think a lot of people would be more than happy to go on a date with someone that's attractive. 99% of chemistry is looks anyway.

I can find a woman to be physically attractive and often not have (instant) chemistry with her on a first date / meeting because of reasons mentioned earlier. If we go out on a few more dates and the chemistry doesn't improve, chances we didn't have enough in common or there were certain differences in lifestyle or beliefs that made us not a match.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 144
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Posted: 7/25/2018 10:19:02 PM

I think a lot of people would be more than happy to go on a date with someone that's attractive. 99% of chemistry is looks anyway.


Not really. A person could be flame-throwing hot but if they have the personality of a brick wall, or are rude/disrespectful...we aren't having any chemistry and I'll never see them again. I've only met guys from OLD who I found to be physically attractive and still had no spark or connection with them. My point was, it takes MORE than looks to cultivate any meaningful connections. With OLD, all you're going off of is some pixels, nothing substantial, which is why many first meets go nowhere.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 145
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Posted: 7/25/2018 10:31:47 PM
Coold, 4 letters x 2 + 1, yes, I'm wonderful☺
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 146
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Posted: 7/26/2018 12:13:58 AM

I've only met guys from OLD who I found to be physically attractive and still had no spark or connection with them. My point was, it takes MORE than looks to cultivate any meaningful connections.

True. But it's more like an Anti-spark that will kill it when one is Notably Attractive to someone. No Clear deal killers in their life or how they are that come across, etc. That's pretty easy to come by. More easy than people want to believe, otherwise, we come across as too animalistic/shallow... but it is a simpler game of life than we'd like to think.

Most of the time, looks will make the difference between "I'm not feeling it" VS "Yeah, it went great -- just fine. I'd like to see him/her again."
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 147
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Posted: 7/26/2018 12:48:36 AM

Not really. A person could be flame-throwing hot but if they have the personality of a brick wall, or are rude/disrespectful...we aren't having any chemistry and I'll never see them again. I've only met guys from OLD who I found to be physically attractive and still had no spark or connection with them. My point was, it takes MORE than looks to cultivate any meaningful connections. With OLD, all you're going off of is some pixels, nothing substantial, which is why many first meets go nowhere.


That's more true for women. If a woman is hot, she can tell her date that she killed her neighbour and buried the body in a shallow grave a few miles away and he would still want to sleep with her. If a woman has bad habits, a guy might use his better judgement and not form a relationship with her, but it doesn't change the level of attraction he feels for her on a more primal level.


I can find a woman to be physically attractive and often not have (instant) chemistry with her on a first date / meeting because of reasons mentioned earlier. If we go out on a few more dates and the chemistry doesn't improve, chances we didn't have enough in common or there were certain differences in lifestyle or beliefs that made us not a match.


That sounds more like what happens when you meet a woman that's average as opposed to one that knocks your socks off.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 148
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Posted: 7/26/2018 2:41:45 AM
I think most men wouldn't want to have sex with someone who is good looking after her telling them that she murders people. The people who are turned on by murderers have some mental issues, you are talking about yourself, not most people. You can tell the people here who constantly find everything to be a sexual turn on, it is simple, stay away from them.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 149
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Posted: 7/26/2018 6:52:51 AM

Coold, 4 letters x 2 + 1, yes, I'm wonderful☺


No. I was thinking more towards a certain Canadian University in North Toronto...
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 150
Modern dating
Posted: 7/26/2018 6:53:40 AM
"99% of chemistry, is physical appearance anyway"

>>>i'd go a step further, and say its "Sexual chemistry". When they're three sheets to the wind in a bar, and want to hook up, women aren't feeling up the nerd with the great personality, are they? :) When women come here to post about how poorly their dude is treating them, universally the man is physically appealing to them. Some people will put up with a hottie with a brick wall for a personality, b/c personality isn't what they're hoping to see naked :) If they want personality, they have friends for that, and they can hook up sexually with the hottie.

But when we want an actual relationship, then we want...the physically attractive person with the personality we find attractive. now we want to spend time with them fully clothed and out in public, as well as naked. That partner is harder to find, b/c we're asking for more from them. but while we're looking for those meaningful connections...we may take a detour if a hot one presents itself :) or we may decide we're sick of (A) being used if a woman or (B) sick of drama if we're a guy. i'm sure some may change their answer around, but it seems like those are the big complaints about relationships, divided by gender, doesn't it?


"I don't think any broads from Noo Yawk are ladies."

>>>i'll assume that blanket statement is meant as a joke, after all...a lot of people move to NYC to pursue their dream.
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