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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I incre      Home login  
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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 26
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Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

A couple of months ago I met a professional musician at a local pub who is considerably older and quite overweight

But he plays music! Helps negate what otherwise would be a lack of looks and/or too old. ;)

On your profile you say under 50 as your requirement. So how old is this guy? I can't see a 42 year old gal and a 49 year old guy getting dirty looks. Especially if she has a little gray in your hair as your one picture suggests. But even if he's in his mid 50s, and you're over 40...

... reduce his age to 45. I think you'd still be getting much the same. My guess is, you being pretty slender and him being "quite overweight" is the core reason for glances you may be noticing.
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 27
Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 7/25/2018 8:40:27 AM
"But he plays music! Helps negate what otherwise would be a lack of looks and/or too old. ;)"

He is handsome. Weight comes off.

"On your profile you say under 50 as your requirement. So how old is this guy? I can't see a 42 year old gal and a 49 year old guy getting dirty looks. Especially if she has a little gray in your hair as your one picture suggests. But even if he's in his mid 50s, and you're over 40..."

He is in his late sixties, is white haired, and weighs about 240lbs. I met him in the pub where he performs on weekends, not on an online dating site. I liked his demeanor, his sexy radio voice, mannerism and face and how he let me know he was interested in me even though I initially rejected his advances in the beginning.

"... reduce his age to 45. I think you'd still be getting much the same. My guess is, you being pretty slender and him being "quite overweight" is the core reason for glances you may be noticing."

I could reduce his age to about 64, but that is about it.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 28
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Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 7/25/2018 11:41:48 AM

We are in love.


And another SMH moment.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 29
Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 7/25/2018 5:14:55 PM
"I remember your old threads/posts asking us whether you should keep a man around who made derogatory comments on your small breasts."
"We are in love. And another SMH moment."


>>>judging from the number of posts about this subject, the armchair guess is she loves the attention, not the fellow. Divorcing herself from feelings for him, she can process the different things he does as things she loves and does not love, yet not connect them all to him.

the fact a person is handsome, always helps. A handsome former musician with a poor attitude towards relationships and some women in them, that women overlook? sounds like a future for one of our posters when he becomes an AARP member himself :) No, seriously, just kidding.

If we can't beat the trolls, join 'em. Fun is where we find it.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 30
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Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 7/26/2018 8:09:10 AM
Based on what the OP has said in multiple threads, the age difference is not the problem here. Clearly some of the things he has said or done bothers the OP. The OP can end the relationship or keep dating him and keep complaining about the same things over and over again.
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 31
Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 7/26/2018 8:48:57 AM
"Based on what the OP has said in multiple threads, the age difference is not the problem here. Clearly some of the things he has said or done bothers the OP. The OP can end the relationship or keep dating him and keep complaining about the same things over and over again."

Now that I've gone through this I believe the best way to get through stuff is with communication. If a person does something that bothers another person it should be discussed and rectified. I don't believe in throwing in the towel that fast especially when their is mutual deep affection that is very difficult to find. Deep affection can't be bought or rented. It is either there or it is not. Once you have it you want to find a way to preserve it unless the person makes demands on the other person that the other person can't live up to. Continually moving on to a new partner doesn't help things because there will be bumps in those new relationships too.

Regarding the age gap, this story may or may not be funny to some. Yesterday he and I went to get a pedicure. An elderly woman was sitting in the chair beside me and we got to talking. When we were at the pedicure station she said, "It's nice you're with your father getting a pedicure. With the colour you chose it appears you're getting married.". She thought I was there with my dad getting ready for my own wedding!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 32
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Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 7/26/2018 11:26:00 AM
If you think you look like you're 52, how could this guy be your dad at 60 something? Geez.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 33
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Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 7/26/2018 11:41:39 AM

He is in his late sixties, is white haired, and weighs about 240lbs.

How tall? 5'9" or 6'3"? :)

I met him in the pub where he performs on weekends, not on an online dating site.

This refers to another topic of what we want IRL vs online exists....

I liked his demeanor, his sexy radio voice, mannerism and face and how he let me know he was interested in me even though I initially rejected his advances in the beginning.

You grew to like him. You need someone though, and he's a good daddy to fill that void in a comforting way. ;)

I could reduce his age to about 64, but that is about it.

So he's Clearly about 70, and could easily pass for 70 then. Yikes. Anyway, my point was, if you're quite slender and he's "quite overweight" -- that alone will get you looks. Combine that with the age difference on top of that, yeah, you can more ensure people will look.

But if you're happy with him, don't care what people think. You only care what people think if you're not dating someone, but are, say, making the most of a 1-time date with someone kinda weird/different, and you don't want talk around town. Otherwise, who the heck cares -- you're seeing them and roll well with them, whether it's "odd" or not that you do. Better than being with someone you visually match just-fine with, but are merely "meh" with.
 wadeinwaves
Joined: 8/7/2017
Msg: 34
Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 7/26/2018 7:09:45 PM
"How tall? 5'9" or 6'3"? :)"

He is about 5' 10". I agree that it doesn't matter what people think.
 SingleInChurch
Joined: 8/18/2018
Msg: 35
Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 8/25/2018 3:39:38 PM
No, it's really none of their business unless they thought you really were under 18. If you're in a relationship with someone and you both like each other, enjoy that and never mind what anybody says or thinks.
 LBJfan600
Joined: 8/22/2018
Msg: 36
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Dating a much older man and getting looks from people; Should I increase my age when they ask?
Posted: 8/26/2018 8:07:55 PM
just take it how it is, fact is you'll be looked at as being a gold digger and he will be looked at as a creep on first glance.
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