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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is dating harder for men or women?      Home login  
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 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 26
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Is dating harder for men or women?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)


Somewhat. After a certain age, it's much harder to find someone to settle down with, especially women. A majority of people's dating & mating is done between 20-30. After that, the vast majority of people are already paired off. Our dating pools shrink or become more polluted overtime.

Exactly and it gets worse for both men and women over time because all the people who are serious would of paired off with others who are serious leaving more and more people who don't even want a serious relationship yet they're trying to date others who are serious, usually women.
Makes it worse over time for those who do want a serious relationship.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 27
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/1/2018 6:38:48 AM
ah, thank you Henry. If I had posted that, I would have been torn apart :)

the best time for the male Human to procreate is when he is still young and has the energy to be a father (but probably not the maturity, sadly). Young ladies were frisky, too, but society keeps telling us they aren't, b/c only "sluts" are. But at that age, they have high metabolism, firm skin, and thus pleasing figures that older ladies try to revive with makeup and time at the gym, if not outright surgery. The person with the real advantage in dating, is the one who looks good. Young people want, generally, instant gratification and don't worry as much about the long term, so finding someone attractive for sex may be more important than finding someone for dating...and easier, since we all looked better young. Our younger selves may have focused more on impressing the other person, than searching them for red flags in tune with our baggage. Another benefit, is the young come together to socialize more often--there's jobs, there's school, there's the beach, there's the dance club. Our older selves, meanwhile, have built our castles filled with our hobbies for ourselves, we aren't looking to escape our bedroom at our parents' house.

maybe the question should be broken down--does dating mean hanging out and doing activities, or finding someone who actually wants to have sex with us? I could always find women who would accompany me to dinner if I was paying.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 28
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/1/2018 6:52:03 AM
What a crock of sh!t Henry. Dating has never been so easy, and I'm 60. If I was dating at the moment, and if I entertained every offer I get, I would be going out with someone different 7 days a week.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 29
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/1/2018 9:43:15 AM
Actually, I think the biggest factor is how a person ages, how a person has taken care of him/herself physically. To me, that's the #1 factor. The better one looks in their ~40s-60s, the better things get for them in the dating world. Because as life's wear and tear works on us, a good-looking person is rarer at that age. The vast majority fall apart physically, or don't take care of themselves...dont GAS, poor choices, etc. etc. Those that do maintain their looks at these ages, are really in the drivers' seat. Both sexes. They can date much younger if they wish.

And especially men, if he's got some $$, and some worldly experiences, he can do the "most interesting man in the world" vibe, and clean up in the dating scene. I do agree that aging favors men, though, but women who still look good can still call their own shots well into their 50s-60s.

And yes, plenty of this is just luck of the draw; genes. I know men/women who had bad habits/good genes that look better than those with good habits/bad genes. Nobody ever said life was fair. But on balance, it's best to take care of oneself physically to attract mates. That's the #1 factor most of the time.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 30
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/1/2018 5:31:33 PM
Men.


Dating can be difficult for both men and women. Both genders have to deal with flakes, jerks, liars, cheaters, people looking for an ego boost or text buddy etc.


True.

However....the question is, "Is dating HARDER for men or women"?, not, "Is dating hard for men and easy for women?"

If both genders have to deal with all of the above, AND you add to that, that men have to make most of the first moves (because so many women refuse to risk rejection) AND men have to plan most of the first dates (because so many women still think that's the man's "job") AND men have to do most of the paying (see other threads on these topics), meaning the men are making most of the effort in the beginning just to GET the date, then obviously it will be harder for men overall.

If women who think dating is just as hard for them as it is for men, why don't they try doing the asking, doing the planning, and doing the paying, if they think that will make it easier for them?

Each gender overall needs to respect the other's position and feelings and make more effort to make the process less difficult.

Or the complaints will never stop. (They will probably never stop anyway)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 31
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/1/2018 7:18:26 PM
This ..………...in my opinion, is an illogical question. I'm not a man. I can't answer as a man. I don't pretend to be a man.


I can only answer as a woman. For me, whatever my age, dating was and is ………………..Oh, I'm sorry, where were we? Oh that's right, "dating harder...……..?" ?Harder? What's ?hard about dating? I have never thought of "dating" as being soft / easy, medium or hard.
"Dating", two people meet, ……………..talk, converse, drink, eat, talk, laugh, walk, ride,, sleep, go to work, repeat...………..

?It's not a trip to the Dentist, an appt with the IRS, a mandatory dead body identification, an appt with the Oncology surgeon, a first interview with a Hospice Care worker...……………

See, where I'm going with this?

IMO, IF one considers "dating" to be hard, then something is rotten in Denmark. I think dating, was and is ……………….well let me just say, I have never killed any brain cells over it. I don't overthink it. I either did it / do it …...or I don't. I have fun dating or I don't bother. I enjoy dating, or find something better to do with my off time.

Life is tooo short to waste on, "Dating harder". I have had some very difficult life's experiences,...………………….. dating is not one of them.
I could be dead tomorrow. I want to enjoy, today while I can.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 32
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 1:31:05 AM
Most men make it harder on themselves than it has to be.

Ladies have some problems but getting dates wouldn't be one of them filter through the shit of****picks and crap is.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 33
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 2:56:39 AM
"If one considers "dating" to be difficult, then something is rotten in Denmark....I have fun dating or I don't bother."


>>>the more choices one has available, the more fun hanging out with another human who is compatible can be. Of course, if one is looking for more than just hanging out when they date, then it can be harder to find someone compatible for that. if someone is dating for confirmation they can attract a wide range of partners, it may not be fun to find out they cannot. the person paying for all these dates may not have as much fun as the person going on them for free :) and so on.

but in a perfect world, meeting other people and getting to know them and finding they aren't wacko, should be fun.
 LoveOnAShip
Joined: 7/24/2018
Msg: 34
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 6:30:00 AM
"Dating has never been so easy, and I'm 60. If I was dating at the moment, and if I entertained every offer I get, I would be going out with someone different 7 days a week."

It's true when folks get older, there may be less folks looking, but if a gal or guy is above average in how they present themself, they will have plenty of suitors.

You do not look 60 Ma'am.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 35
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 8:26:11 AM
I don't really see why dating would be difficult for men or women because it's just dating, which I see as equivalent to having someone to hang out with with for meet ups or events. It doesn't imply anything beyond that to me. There's no implication of long term or a physical relationship or being committed. I don't see the point of it but I don't see why it would be hard. I think finding a partner for an actual committed relationship gets harder for both men and women as they get older and not at all for either men or women when they are young and most are actively seeking. I think it's harder for older people for lots of reasons - life is busier and more complicated for most, at least those still pursuing career gains; people tend to have exes and children and they tend to be preoccupied with them; and I don't see that many people have much interest in seeking long term, physical , committed relationships later in life. Most of my single friends have come to a point that they want to build more friendships and they don't want the complications that a "life partner" can bring.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 36
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 8:28:22 AM

You do not look 60 Ma'am.


Those are the old pictures you're looking at...
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 37
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 8:51:22 AM
I have a pic I took in Oct 2017, so not even a year old. I posted that for any aholes here that want to say something☺
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 38
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 9:10:10 AM

So, the older men are less driven by sexual desires, and there are far fewer women in his available age bracket that he finds desirable. And the women still seem to expect him to do the asking, the pursuing, all of the heavy lifting as it were. So what does he do? He quits chasing. He stays at home and watches the game on TV, or goes to the sports bar and watches the game with his buds. And the women are sitting at home wondering why they don’t have men ringing their phone off the wall, the way they did when they were in their 20’s.


Great post Henry. If I had to do this dating thing all over again, I simply wouldn't. This describes me to a T. Gym, sports, my cars and my buddies would keep me more than happy now that sex doesn't drive my ambitions.

Thanks for a great post.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 39
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 9:33:07 AM
Silver, I read your profile. Wow, that really sucks that Canadian law would have someone cohabiting assume responsibility financially for someone else's kids. That hurts women too. I've seen plenty of men willfully take on that responsibility by actually adopting the kids, but that should be a choice.

Are you not still with the woman you mentioned in your profile? Good for you for having a full life and not waiting on finding a partner. That would serve everyone well. I hate to see anyone feeling lonely or bored, and think we're more interesting to each other when we have interesting lives.
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 40
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 10:12:32 AM
My profile is super old and I should take out most of what is in there. It is hidden and I'm only here for the forums which admittedly I browse rarely now and just for entertainment purposes.

Yes I am with the same lady and very happy. Engaged and building a new house with her.

Kids are almost over 18 now so not really worried anymore about the whole CS thing, although it did weigh heavily on my mind when I was actively dating.

Like I said, though, if I had to do it all over again I simply wouldn't. Sex doesn't drive me like it used to and I completely agree that people are more interesting to each other when their lives are enriched by lots of activities and experiences. I would spend my time here and if I happened to come across a female partner as part of these activities, this would be how I would move forward. I wouldn't go looking anymore and do "the chase".

Good luck to you, Newyorker - thanks for your post.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 41
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/2/2018 10:18:05 AM
Thank you! I'm glad it worked out for you. I wish others here that are seeking a relationship would also find someone.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 42
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/5/2018 8:14:58 PM
by SSM508
Some men (and women too) in their 20s may not date that much because they want to focus on school / career or they wanted to spend more time hanging out with their friends. It's not all having more casual sex. I was like this during a portion of my 20s.

^^ right. Me,, I was stationed in Europe for 5 years during my early to mid-ish 20's and spent my vacation/leave time seeing all of Europe I could.
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 43
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/7/2018 7:38:16 PM
"Online dating is much harder for men and all women have to do is choose"

"Men’s problems with online dating"
1. Lack of response
2. Lack of dates
3. Lack of compliments
4. Lack of suitable women to choose from"

"Women’s advantages in online dating"
1. Women get more features, than men for free, like the flirt feature
2. Most Women receive hundreds of messages, from suitable gents wanting to date them
3. Most women can get a date easy, cause they have so many choices n it's not cause they are a good catch
4. Most Women are showered with compliments and men willing to do almost anything to get a date with them, cause the man knows how much competition he has"

"Tut, tut, how hard it must be to read hundreds of complimentary messages from suitable men n only have to pick one, but even with that much freedom, many women choose the wrong guy and fail to be in a happy, healthy n worth while relationship"
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 44
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/8/2018 3:34:18 AM

I'm finding dating to be much easier now that I'm older, 55-60. It could be due to men being more confident to ask women out.


I have never had a problem with me asking me out but now at this age, I find I like being single so much he would have to be VERY special, unique and attractive to make me want to spend time with him on a regular base. Most guys who have these attributes are in their 20 and 30 year marriage. NOW the guys who aren't married it always feel like the day after the big sale and all that is left on the table is the ONE turtleneck in neon yellow with chartreuse polka dots. Yea it is only dollar but do you really want it?
At this age attractive, sophisticated and single men are rare and usually looking for a woman in her mid 30's. The world is difficult and unfair.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 45
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/8/2018 4:06:57 AM

"Men’s problems with online dating"
1. Lack of response
2. Lack of dates
3. Lack of compliments
4. Lack of suitable women to choose from"


Ok the majority of men who online date put little to NO effort in their profile. AND even less effort in their pictures. Seriously some of the guys look like they rolled over in bed snapped a picture and used it in a dating profile. THEN get upset when women look at that bed head, eye boogie, yellow teeth picture and not think wow the man of my dreams. I bet if I bring a bar of soap and a toothbrush to our first meeting I will have me a husband.

Forgive me if I must respond to the dream world men seem to think women live in:

1. Women get more features, than men for free, like the flirt feature


An EXCELLENT feature if there were men a woman would honestly want to flirt with in fact they would charge women for this feature if they had enough men they thought women would want to flirt with. Let's talk about what happens when a woman does make the first move. THE majority of men think wow I am getting laid and I didn't really have to work that hard. OOO what did I do to get this freebie?


2. Most Women receive hundreds of messages, from suitable gents wanting to date them


The idea of suitable is so subjective. Most men's concept of suitable is they are MALE and they ARE INTERESTED. What more can a woman ask for. Shared interests are overrated and ATTRACTION?? Well, what the f? I think I am good looking.... MIND you, we already discuss the pictures they include. And I have gone on a limb and met up with guys whom I am not attracted to their pictures. SWEET BABY JESUS that was not worth the free dinner and drinks. So gave up on that.
HUNDREDS? REALLY? I guess 22 year olds with perfect bodies, hair, and teeth get that. THE REST of us get a hand full of emails and every last one from men whom YOU HAVE NO ATTRACTION to on any level with an ONE-word email or a 200 character email about your pictures. NOTHING CREEPY ABOUT THAT. Now when you read that man's profile it either says Will fill out later or it talks about how much he loves to fish, watch sports and kiss. NOTHING CREEPY ABOUT THAT.

3. Most women can get a date easy, cause they have so many choices n it's not cause they are a good catch

Choices? The guys who have less education, share none of your interests and are not physically attractive to a woman is a choice? Really? AND yes all three wrapped in a nice little package with a one-word email saying Hi or you are pretty OR I am really interested. This is really a choice? THEN men also have choices. They too must set their standards at the same level they want women to set theirs. Female and interested. Not that hard guys.

4. Most Women are showered with compliments and men willing to do almost anything to get a date with them, cause the man knows how much competition he has"

IF only that were true. They are willing to do anything EXCEPT:
1. Take a decent set of pictures.
2. Write a profile
3. READ HER PROFILE and respond accordingly in an email containing more than HI.
4. SHARE any of her interest.
5. Dress appropriately at the first meeting. NO, you should not go to the first meeting IN YOUR STANK work out
clothes or the clothes YOU mowed the lawn in. YOU only get ONE chance to make a first impression.
See that isnt a very long list.
I think a lot of men feel entitled to a woman's attention simply because he finds her attractive. That ends up coming off shallow. Women have developed a sense that they would rather be single than stuck in a bad relationship.

Tut TUT TUT for women expecting men to bring to the table all the stuff they do.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 46
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/8/2018 9:12:18 AM
^No problem I can do that what will you be offering exactly? It's not about what you want it's what you are offering and sorry sex is just not enough as ladies enjoy it to. See I am the guy who can do all that with a Bachelor degree whether people like it or not, I provide that evidence if I chose too. I can put good pictures, write a good profile, and do all that other stuff and what does it get you? It gets you the druggie the alcoholic, the couch potatoe, the whiner, the negative person, the lady that says well I did that for you, the lady who rather be with her friends. Or the lady who has kids 20+ years of age still leaving at home unemployed not looking.

Yeah here let me show you what I really have for a deal breakers lets see how good women really are to match it.

No alcohol
No drugs
No fragrances

What is that man really worth to a woman?
 LoveOnAShip
Joined: 7/24/2018
Msg: 47
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/8/2018 10:39:37 AM

I have never had a problem with me asking me out but now at this age, I find I like being single so much he would have to be VERY special, unique and attractive to make me want to spend time with him on a regular base. Most guys who have these attributes are in their 20 and 30 year marriage. NOW the guys who aren't married it always feel like the day after the big sale and all that is left on the table is the ONE turtleneck in neon yellow with chartreuse polka dots. Yea it is only dollar but do you really want it?
At this age attractive, sophisticated and single men are rare and usually looking for a woman in her mid 30's. The world is difficult and unfair.



"Men’s problems with online dating"
1. Lack of response
2. Lack of dates
3. Lack of compliments
4. Lack of suitable women to choose from"


Ok the majority of men who online date put little to NO effort in their profile. AND even less effort in their pictures. Seriously some of the guys look like they rolled over in bed snapped a picture and used it in a dating profile. THEN get upset when women look at that bed head, eye boogie, yellow teeth picture and not think wow the man of my dreams. I bet if I bring a bar of soap and a toothbrush to our first meeting I will have me a husband.

Forgive me if I must respond to the dream world men seem to think women live in:

1. Women get more features, than men for free, like the flirt feature



An EXCELLENT feature if there were men a woman would honestly want to flirt with in fact they would charge women for this feature if they had enough men they thought women would want to flirt with. Let's talk about what happens when a woman does make the first move. THE majority of men think wow I am getting laid and I didn't really have to work that hard. OOO what did I do to get this freebie?



2. Most Women receive hundreds of messages, from suitable gents wanting to date them


The idea of suitable is so subjective. Most men's concept of suitable is they are MALE and they ARE INTERESTED. What more can a woman ask for. Shared interests are overrated and ATTRACTION?? Well, what the f? I think I am good looking.... MIND you, we already discuss the pictures they include. And I have gone on a limb and met up with guys whom I am not attracted to their pictures. SWEET BABY JESUS that was not worth the free dinner and drinks. So gave up on that.
HUNDREDS? REALLY? I guess 22 year olds with perfect bodies, hair, and teeth get that. THE REST of us get a hand full of emails and every last one from men whom YOU HAVE NO ATTRACTION to on any level with an ONE-word email or a 200 character email about your pictures. NOTHING CREEPY ABOUT THAT. Now when you read that man's profile it either says Will fill out later or it talks about how much he loves to fish, watch sports and kiss. NOTHING CREEPY ABOUT THAT.

3. Most women can get a date easy, cause they have so many choices n it's not cause they are a good catch

Choices? The guys who have less education, share none of your interests and are not physically attractive to a woman is a choice? Really? AND yes all three wrapped in a nice little package with a one-word email saying Hi or you are pretty OR I am really interested. This is really a choice? THEN men also have choices. They too must set their standards at the same level they want women to set theirs. Female and interested. Not that hard guys.

4. Most Women are showered with compliments and men willing to do almost anything to get a date with them, cause the man knows how much competition he has"



IF only that were true. They are willing to do anything EXCEPT:
1. Take a decent set of pictures.
2. Write a profile
3. READ HER PROFILE and respond accordingly in an email containing more than HI.
4. SHARE any of her interest.
5. Dress appropriately at the first meeting. NO, you should not go to the first meeting IN YOUR STANK work out
clothes or the clothes YOU mowed the lawn in
. YOU only get ONE chance to make a first impression.
See that isnt a very long list.
[u]I think a lot of men feel entitled to a woman's attention simply because he finds her attractive. That ends up coming off shallow. Women have developed a sense that they would rather be single than stuck in a bad relationship. [/u]

Tut TUT TUT for women expecting men to bring to the table all the stuff they do.


^^i'd put her posts in the top 10 best post of POF Forums
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 48
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/8/2018 10:51:57 AM
Google image is your friend
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 49
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/8/2018 4:47:10 PM
Newyorker58

You are right. Women can get free sex at about any age too. Men being who they are. However the quality of the man is often in question with their offers and whether they would even turn up is another thing. When I experimented with online dating I saw at least 7 men and 6 of them wanted to take it further and I was in my early sixties..

Henry only wants women much younger and cant get them but thankfully some men are mature and look for qualities other than hot sexiness of the young.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 50
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/9/2018 5:48:59 AM
okay, hold on now...........saying women can get sex anytime is like saying you can jump off a bridge anytime.........most people are not going to do that.....nor are women going to have sex with some guy they don't care for....it's a nonsensical statement.









Would men get sympathy if a guy was to say: "All of the good women are taken"?


Not from me. I actually had a male acquaintance say something along the lines of, "Are there any faithful, loyal & honest women left?" I told him the same thing I've told women who bemoan similar grievances. He has probably met some women who would have made a good girlfriend or wife but he either rejected her because she was too boring, hot his "type", not hot enough, didn't put out fast enough, etc., etc. OR....those high-quality, marriageable, loyal women didn't want HIM for whatever reasons.


-That's good advice. Yup, how quickly they forget all opportunities they had because they were not attracted to the woman. Women do the same thing.




it's a good article, but they left out a couple of things..........

- yes, women live longer than men so in later years, a woman's dating pool will shrink.

- women have the added power of beauty when they are young. Unfortunately, it starts slowly going downhill from around age 20. It's hard for men too go downhill in the looks department - they were never there to begin with, lol........unless we are talking about Brad Pitt.

-- Women also have the power of intuition.

- just like men, some women will go for younger partners too ------cougar has become a popular term in modern times.

of course, you can always turn the odds in your favor by either working harder in dating, and/or working on yourself to become a better catch.

for example, the young man in the article the author says is at a disadvantage? - that's not necessarily true. Assuming he's not but ugly (works out), he can turn the tables, increase his odds by playing the number's game.........being around more women or asking more women out.


But women have problems too! The young or pretty get too much unwanted attention. Also, women also like to take their time to get to know someone........so meeting by first date is not optimum for them. It would be easier for them to date someone in their circle, such as a man at school or at work, when they have actually developed some interest. men fall faster for women typically than women fall for men, so often, right out of the gate, you have a mismatch. What a shame.

Dating might be slightly harder for men - they do most of the asking and therefore get most of the rejection.......and rejection is painful.

Then again, women have to put up with the problems their men bring into their lives.......when it comes to relationships, men weren't really made for it the way women are - that big goof can be like a bull in a china-shop!
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