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 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 51
Is dating harder for men or women?Page 3 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)






2. Most Women receive hundreds of messages, from suitable gents wanting to date them


The idea of suitable is so subjective. Most men's concept of suitable is they are MALE and they ARE INTERESTED. What more can a woman ask for. Shared interests are overrated and ATTRACTION?? Well, what the f? I think I am good looking.... MIND you, we already discuss the pictures they include. And I have gone on a limb and met up with guys whom I am not attracted to their pictures. SWEET BABY JESUS that was not worth the free dinner and drinks. So gave up on that.
HUNDREDS? REALLY? I guess 22 year olds with perfect bodies, hair, and teeth get that. THE REST of us get a hand full of emails and every last one from men whom YOU HAVE NO ATTRACTION to on any level with an ONE-word email or a 200 character email about your pictures. NOTHING CREEPY ABOUT THAT. Now when you read that man's profile it either says Will fill out later or it talks about how much he loves to fish, watch sports and kiss. NOTHING CREEPY ABOUT THAT.


---it's true there are a lot of undesirables on these sites. And it's hard to find a gentleman in today's world.





4. Most Women are showered with compliments and men willing to do almost anything to get a date with them, cause the man knows how much competition he has"

IF only that were true. They are willing to do anything EXCEPT:
1. Take a decent set of pictures.


- agreed.



2. Write a profile


- I'm not sure written sections are nessesary. Why not have a conversation and get to know each other the old ffashoned way? I do howevr think you should exchange messages and make sure he knows how to write in complete sentances!



3. READ HER PROFILE and respond accordingly in an email containing more than HI.


--nonesense. Haven't you ever heard the phrase, "You had me at 'Hello'?!" Again, have a normal conversation. What would you do in the real world?



4. SHARE any of her interest.


Intrests are overated. Take any two sane, sociable people and both make a list of intrests, and compare notes. You can find plenty to do together, but only if you are motivated because you like them. Who would turn down a walk on the beach with that someone special?



5. Dress appropriately at the first meeting. NO, you should not go to the first meeting IN YOUR STANK work out
clothes or the clothes YOU mowed the lawn in. YOU only get ONE chance to make a first impression.



--------agreed. It's date night - act like it, lol
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 52
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/9/2018 11:54:45 AM

-- Women also have the power of intuition.


That's more of an urban myth.



women have to put up with the problems their men bring into their lives.


See?
If women had "intuition", they would be able to sense which guys would be problems, and avoid them, and keep the problems out of their lives.

On the other hand, a person doesn't need to have "intuition" to notice glaring red flags, either.
They just need to take off the rose colored glasses and pay attention.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 53
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/9/2018 3:48:02 PM

I'm not sure written sections are nessesary. Why not have a conversation and get to know each other the old ffashoned way? I do howevr think you should exchange messages and make sure he knows how to write in complete sentances!

What do you talk to people whom you share no interests with? I mean if I have to listen to one more man talk about his passion for sports I will scream. I have attempted to talk about books with guys but just ends up with men telling him and HIM half ass listening. So NOW I want a guy who shares my interests. I want someone who can have an INTELLIGENT conversation about books, documentaries, and life experiences.


-nonesense. Haven't you ever heard the phrase, "You had me at 'Hello'?!" Again, have a normal conversation. What would you do in the real world?

IF that were true I would not be single and would have written a success story by now. BECAUSE God knows the majority of the emails I get are Hello, HI, Hey. And the most interesting thing I have found out is most men who are unable to express anything on the first email they are dull as dishwater. NOTHING about these men are interesting. So I am expected to be the one who carries the conversation and be the one who is attractive and the one who is interesting. This is too much work just so I can tell the world I am not single or "I GOT A MAN".


You can find plenty to do together, but only if you are motivated because you like them.

Why would I like them? Oh you mean their looks? HAVE you seen your average 50-year-old man? So it can't be his dazzling good looks that are going to get my attention. So it should be his first email. And it should be him showing a REAL interest in something more than the last guy or the guy before him or the guy before him. I have been on POF off and on for over 8 years. Rarely have I dated someone more than ONCE. I have literally had to call the police because a guy was following me to my car after a failed first date. I don't want to die raped and murder because I gave POF serial killer a chance because he had a cute profile picture.

Most of the guys who approach me on the streets are too young ..... HELLO. I am past my hypersexual days. I am looking for a man who will love me even when I gain weight and am 100% grey. When I am on my deathbed doubtful I will care about all the guys who wanted to bone me. I want an amazing guy who loved the real me NOT the outside.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 54
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/9/2018 5:01:29 PM
^^^^ Completely agree with everything you've said on this thread, dark n juju.

The only difference for me is that no guys approach me on the streets.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 55
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/9/2018 5:31:30 PM
Purple Rider wrote:
In my travels, I keep coming acrossed people that can't understand why I'm not involved with some one.
Evidently when they ask this question of you, you must not on the seat of your significant other.

Henry wrote:
He quits chasing. He stays at home and watches the game on TV, or goes to the sports bar and watches the game with his buds. And the women are sitting at home wondering why they don’t have men ringing their phone off the wall, the way they did when they were in their 20’s.
Far too many people of both sexes "let themselves go." Their sentiment is they're gonna be who they really are, and "take me or leave me as I really am!" And most just leave them as they really are.

NG wrote:
As long as more guys are on a dating site or at the singles bars
Or in the room.

Sienna wrote:
The big picture is the good quality men are serious about having a relationship and the ones that aren't good quality probably aren't. So all the low quality ones are left on dating sites just trying to screw us.
This is funny. I would imaging there are MANY "good quality" men wanting relationships here. It's just that they are outside the realm of what most women - especially young women - consider sexually attractive. Unless what you mean about "good quality," is earnest, honest men seeking LTRs AND are conventially "hot." Dream on, lol. Back to the ultimate conundrum...women want a dashing dude with money, sparkling personality, a dude who can have any woman he wants, at any time...but ONLY be faithful to them. Again, dream on, lol....And I will be the first to say that men have their own version of that conundrum.

Juju wrote:
I have never had a problem with me asking me out
I don't think anyone has a problem with asking themselves out, so you aren't special.

Hemingway:
okay, hold on now...........saying women can get sex anytime is like saying you can jump off a bridge anytime.........most people are not going to do that...
But if a woman WANTS it, she can always get it. In the back of their minds, women always know it, and it has to give them some satisfaction. Not so with men. That is a significant distinction between the love/sex life of men and women and totally determines their respective approaches to the same. I don't think it's nonsensical statement at all.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 56
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/9/2018 7:29:17 PM

But if a woman WANTS it, she can always get it. In the back of their minds, women always know it, and it has to give them some satisfaction. Not so with men. That is a significant distinction between the love/sex life of men and women and totally determines their respective approaches to the same. I don't think it's nonsensical statement at all.

The problem with women being able to get sex with anyone at any time is that you are then labeled things like sl ut or wh ore if you do. That opens the door for alot of things to happen. YOU are sexually harassed by a man whom you don't want to sleep with at work and EVERYONE thinks about the guy OR guys you slept with then suggest you asked for it or deserved it.
Then you have the men who feel they can force sex on women whom they feel are 'easy'. And the law doesn't care about these women being attacked. They are loose women so she ASKED FOR IT or deserved it.
Now let's talk about the number of men who have kidnapped and enslaved women.... WHEN was the last time a man was kidnapped and locked in a basement (tent in the backyard, ETC) and used for sex?
Sex for men and women is two different things. And that is what it is. YOU consider it a power women have over men I know it is a power men will use against me.
NEXT time you are walking down the street at night THINK About some man or woman jumping out and sexually attacking you. And tell me how satisfied you feel about that.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 57
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 1:49:32 AM
Dark, I'm liking everything you have to say. Some men are very cavalier about women's concerns, when they should be protective.
 LoveOnAShip
Joined: 7/24/2018
Msg: 58
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 9:52:30 AM
Dark n Juju needs to have her own TV show.

Not only that, she should be in politics.

Smarts & looks!
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 59
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 10:57:45 AM

Completely agree with everything you've said on this thread, dark n juju.

The only difference for me is that no guys approach me on the streets.


As a man, I can tell you that they definitely want to, but most men won't because they've had bad experiences with rejection in the past.


The problem with women being able to get sex with anyone at any time is that you are then labeled things like sl ut or wh ore if you do. That opens the door for alot of things to happen. YOU are sexually harassed by a man whom you don't want to sleep with at work and EVERYONE thinks about the guy OR guys you slept with then suggest you asked for it or deserved it.


The same thing happens to men. A guy that has some kind of status and has options is labeled a "player" and people see him as someone that uses people even if he's a good person. A guy with money is seen as only attracting gold diggers or buying love from women.


Henry only wants women much younger and cant get them but thankfully some men are mature and look for qualities other than hot sexiness of the young.


Men, in general, are attracted to younger women. It doesn't have anything to do with maturity. It's biological. Why is it better for a man to date someone the exact same age if he's happy dating someone younger and his partner is happy? I agree there are other qualities to look for, but if you're not physically attracted to the person, all you have is friendship.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 60
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 11:53:47 AM
*The only difference for me is that no guys approach me on the streets.

They don't approach her either. She is just spouting the political victim narrative run wild.
 LoveOnAShip
Joined: 7/24/2018
Msg: 61
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 12:08:19 PM

Henry only wants women much younger and cant get them but thankfully some men are mature and look for qualities other than hot sexiness of the young.


Hot young thangs can get hot men, closer to their age.

They don't go with non hot, older men.

They have options.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 62
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 1:55:14 PM
^Everyone has options it's not about options you have if you are drawn to particular person that is who you are drawn to if the feeling is mutual it's up to them. Knocking someone for who they are with or want does not make you better than that person and it never did, you want them to conform to your ideology nothing more. What is suited for you is not a dictation to the rest of world everyone chooses their own wants and desires has nothing to do with your opinion.

Why isn't Henry hot cause you say so really? You think you speak for the rest of the women in the world do you? You aren't even a fraction of a fraction of women in the world. You have no effect as your opinion is worthless to anyone with an ounce of intelligence and awareness the only person you ever attacked is a person you feel is better than you and you try to knock them down in self-esteem and confidence with your opinion. How is that working for you I can boost Henry's ego ten fold if you like and give him a world confidence unlike that you couldn't even touch. He doesn't need me to do that he already knows who he is, he doesn't need anyone's help.

Why not go and talk to your man like that Jeanie see how he likes that type of stuff being addressed toward him, yeah I don't think you would.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 63
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 2:05:59 PM
Why isn't Henry hot? Really, you have to ask that question? He admits to not being in good shape. There you go. That's among people his own age.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 64
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 2:13:57 PM
Juju wrote:
The problem with women being able to get sex with anyone at any time is that you are then labeled things like sl ut or wh ore if you do. That opens the door for alot of things to happen. YOU are sexually harassed by a man whom you don't want to sleep with at work and EVERYONE thinks about the guy OR guys you slept with then suggest you asked for it or deserved it.
Well, first of all, I don't suggest that women are gonna easily find opportunities with men who are gonna whisk them away in a pumpkin chariot. My point is almost all women have men they know, or are acquainted with, or know of, as potential drones for sex, who would be safer than indiscriminately picking up dudes in a bar or anonymously online. Even on this forum, some women have posted they "got a guy" for sex if/when they want it. I see it in profiles too. The enduring fact is - one way or another, women can have sex when they want. Period. Most men have to put themselves out there, be aggressive, be charming, be witty, spend money, etc. etc. And still have a tough time getting sex. That is my point. You can drop a 500 pound woman, and an average man at a busy intersection, hang signs on them that say "F*ck me now!!!" and smart money says the 500 pound woman gets picked up first, and fast (probably by a scrawny dude wearing a MAGA cap in a huge 4x4 lol but that is beside the point)

Juju wrote:
YOU consider it a power women have over men
Uh...no. I don't know where I wrote that.

NY58 wrote:
Some men are very cavalier about women's concerns, when they should be protective.
I don't think I've conveyed that I'm cavalier about this subject. Knowing that men are generally more indiscriminate and careless than women regarding sex, I have always respected womens' opinions on safety. And I do get it with women who are ultra-careful. But paranoia is different. But at the end of the day, it's personal preference. ....But the net net is........men have to put out more of an effort to get sex. And there has to be some comfort in that to women they can get it any time...or else they wouldn't mention it so much. Most men don't want to hear it...unless they're on the "Got a guy" list.
 LoveOnAShip
Joined: 7/24/2018
Msg: 65
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/10/2018 2:18:06 PM
Hot young thangs can get hot men, closer to their age.

They don't go with non hot, older men.

^ THAT IS WHAT i SAID
NO NAMES WERE MENTIONED IN MY POST

yes I am shouting

I did quote another person in my last post.

Let me clarify
Hot young men AND women rarely go with someone who is not hot , or an older person, or one who is not wealthy.

This has nothing to do w/ O. H.

Brad Pitt was not married to Mayim Bialak.

edit to add- maybe you have not been in this forum as long as some and don't know about lots of the nonsense. Nonsense makes a person soooooo NOT HOT.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 66
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Posted: 8/10/2018 4:18:21 PM
SS45, I'm not saying anything about security like its a focus, it is something a women usually thinks about routinely, like when you discuss where to meet. Now, to go as far as taking a friend on the date, there's no reason for that. If I was a guy, I wouldn't allow it.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 67
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Posted: 8/10/2018 4:46:06 PM

IF only that were true. They are willing to do anything EXCEPT:
1. Take a decent set of pictures.
2. Write a profile
3. READ HER PROFILE and respond accordingly in an email containing more than HI.
4. SHARE any of her interest.
5. Dress appropriately at the first meeting. NO, you should not go to the first meeting IN YOUR STANK work out
clothes or the clothes YOU mowed the lawn in. YOU only get ONE chance to make a first impression.
See that isnt a very long list.
I think a lot of men feel entitled to a woman's attention simply because he finds her attractive. That ends up coming off shallow. Women have developed a sense that they would rather be single than stuck in a bad relationship


The few that I ever met had the same complement- "you look like your photos" What I'd love to say to them, but never had the nerve to,-
" I almost didn't recognize you."
Anyone that I messaged, I read their profile. At least five times.
The few I did meet, their interests were not as advertised. Since I never thought "hi" would work. I never tried it. Each reply I wrote, was catered to the person in the profile.
Each meet I went to, I was properly cleaned up, and dressed appropriately. Never once had I ever felt entitled to a woman's attention. I considered myself very lucky to be accepted, If I was acceptable.
I wrote, and re-wrote my profile about 25 times. Each went over like the one it replaced- Un-noticed.

So, why did I bother trying? Silly me, I thought this might work.

After a while, I decided to pursue other interests, and just forget this useless thing called dating.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 68
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/12/2018 2:39:45 PM

Well, first of all, I don't suggest that women are gonna easily find opportunities with men who are gonna whisk them away in a pumpkin chariot.

I think I said sex. I know the difference between someone I love and someone I am just bumping uglies with. And most of the time the later guy is NOT someone I want to ride away in a chariot with. I am doing exactly what I want to do with him IN fact I doubt I want to know his name.

My point is almost all women have men they know, or are acquainted with, or know of, as potential drones for sex, who would be safer than indiscriminately picking up dudes in a bar or anonymously online.

WHY? Why would this guy be safer than a stranger you picked up in a bar? And why would someone want to have sex with a man they have NO sexual attraction too? I am sorry I dont want to be Ed Muffery in Boomerang. Can we get it darker in here? IF it is supposed to recreational sex part of the fun is the BEAUTY of the man you doing. I want to be OOOOOOOOOOO turn the lights on let me see what I am getting.


Even on this forum, some women have posted they "got a guy" for sex if/when they want it. I see it in profiles too. The enduring fact is - one way or another, women can have sex when they want. Period

SO do men. You are just too dam picky. LOWER your damn standards. HELLO work with what you got. Start looking at the nursing homes, grannies need love too.


Most men have to put themselves out there, be aggressive, be charming, be witty, spend money, etc. etc. And still have a tough time getting sex.

Don't know who told you that lie but NO they will not.


That is my point. You can drop a 500 pound woman, and an average man at a busy intersection, hang signs on them that say "F*ck me now!!!" and smart money says the 500 pound woman gets picked up first, and fast (probably by a scrawny dude wearing a MAGA cap in a huge 4x4 lol but that is beside the point)

This YOUTUBE social experiment suggest differently. The woman in the fat suit was left and the guy in the fact suit got two-second dates. So the issue isn't women. The problem is average men think they shouldn't have dated the average woman and 500-pound women would most likely turn to the average guy and say HEY HOW YOU DOING? And my suggestion once again is LOWER YOUR STANDARDS. There are more than a few 300 pound women needs all the attention she can get. OR hell the 500 pound chick.
Go for what you know.


Uh...no. I don't know where I wrote that.

You inferred it and the inference is incorrect.


"Got a guy" list.

Having a sex buddy when you are in your 20's and 30's maybe 40's is understandable but damn in your 50's?

The Man Who Views the World at 50 the Same as He Did at 20 Has Wasted 30 Years of His Life ~Muhammad Ali
https://quoteinvestigator.com/2014/11/01/life-view/

This whole idea that ALL women should not have sex if a select group of men can not have sex is childish and silly. Sorry to be so blunt but it is. I suggest that select group of men stop believing in porn videos. HELLO, Superman can not really fly. PORN is not real. THAT is why they call it ACTING. THEY ARE PORN ACTORS. And if there is any question as what an actor is the art or occupation of performing in plays, movies, or television productions. So let it go.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 69
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/12/2018 4:49:48 PM

IF only that were true. They are willing to do anything EXCEPT:
1. Take a decent set of pictures.
2. Write a profile
3. READ HER PROFILE and respond accordingly in an email containing more than HI.
4. SHARE any of her interest.
5. Dress appropriately at the first meeting. NO, you should not go to the first meeting IN YOUR STANK work out
clothes or the clothes YOU mowed the lawn in. YOU only get ONE chance to make a first impression.

Pictures are the most important thing for OLD. A man can send an email pointing out what interests or hobbies they have in common and not get very many positive responses if she doesn't like his pictures or he doesn't exactly match a long list of requirements.

As for #5, I always dress appropriate for the venue and most of the time there won't be a second date because many people expect instant chemistry on a first date / meeting. Most of the time that won't happen. Often because 2 people are virtual strangers. Or at least one person is a little bit shy or nervous at first.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 70
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/12/2018 5:10:13 PM


This YOUTUBE social experiment suggest differently. The woman in the fat suit was left and the guy in the fact suit got two-second dates. So the issue isn't women. The problem is average men think they shouldn't have dated the average woman and 500-pound women would most likely turn to the average guy and say HEY HOW YOU DOING? And my suggestion once again is LOWER YOUR STANDARDS. There are more than a few 300 pound women needs all the attention she can get. OR hell the 500 pound chick.
Go for what you know.


Lower my standards................................. I call that throwing them out.

If I resorted to that, I might as well offer up my entire life, what I did, all of my personal belongs to the first person that comes along.

No. Just no. I'm not that lonely. (Or that stupid)
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 71
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/12/2018 5:20:59 PM

As for #5, I always dress appropriate for the venue and most of the time there won't be a second date because many people expect instant chemistry on a first date / meeting. Most of the time that won't happen. Often because 2 people are virtual strangers. Or at least one person is a little bit shy or nervous at first.


I really really want that chemistry. I mean DO you have a clue how dazzling you will have to be in order to overcome the lack of chemistry??? The conversation must be mind blowing entertaining to overcome the fact you are not feeling any attraction to this person. Hollywood sold women on a crazy idea of what is love and it has sold men a crazy one-sided idea of what chemistry is. Being strangers doesnt change the fact YOU feel drawn to a person and want to get to know them more. And sorry that is based on looks. NObody walks across a crowded room and chat up a person based on that person's personality... Being physically attractive to the opposite (or same depending on where you stand) take a great deal of effort. We don't want to acknowledge how little effort men put into it.


Pictures are the most important thing for OLD. A man can send an email pointing out what interests or hobbies they have in common and not get very many positive responses if she doesn't like his pictures or he doesn't exactly match a long list of requirements

A good picture is NOT easy for anyone. Women or men. If you thumb a magazine and see a picture you will see a great deal of effort. EVERYTHING was planned. Hair, makeup, outfit, background, lighting, EVERYTHING is planned and then it takes a couple hours of shooting pictures to get the perfect picture. So how can most men think they snap a picture in the car an it will attract every woman they are attracted to?

It takes me 20 pictures to come up with ONE good picture. Plus selecting the right outfit and doing hair and makeup. You cant expect amazing results from half-hearted effort.
PS. I noticed a lot of men will say they share my interests but when I read their profile it doesn't talk about those interests. Then it feels like he is lying to me and thinks I am too stupid to read his profile and know it. NO one wants to be lied to and treated like they are stupid. Sorry.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 72
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/12/2018 5:36:22 PM
We have different viewpoints about chemistry. I think chemistry is more than just looks. I rarely had instant chemistry on a first date / meeting with a woman from OLD even when a woman was very physically attractive. If / when there was chemistry, it often developed over time after we got to know each other better.

As for pictures, I'm not the most photogenic person. But I would take a bunch of pictures and have some female friends (or sometimes even strangers such as a waitress when I'm at a restaurant) help me decide which pictures are the best.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 73
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Posted: 8/12/2018 5:41:25 PM

Don't know who told you that lie but NO they will not.


What makes it a lie? It sounds reasonable.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 74
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/12/2018 6:04:07 PM
Instant chemistry also clouds a person's judgment. You could have great chemistry and a burning attraction for a person who turns out to be a liar, cheater, abuser, etc., etc. There are literally hundreds of stories shared by people on this forum who were burned by a person who turned out differently than what they thought but hey...."he/she was hot!" &"we had such great chemistry!" Truth is, a lot of people are decent actors, it's one of the many pitfalls of trying to date strangers.

I agree with ssm (as per usual). I've been on dates with hot men but there was little to no chemistry. It takes more than looks to impress me, and you too. For be to be remotely seriously about the guy (and vice versa), we need to have more in common than finding each-other attractive & fleeting sparks.

I've had great chemistry with men on first dates but here I am: still single. It's not the be-all to end-all. Once we actually got to dating each other, we found out other qualities/characteristics that rendered us an incompatible match. With online dating, there's way too much of an emphasis put on physical attraction and instant chemistry. The latter is elusive as hell when meeting virtual strangers so you're already being set up for failure. Unless, of course, you change your approach.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 75
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/12/2018 6:44:04 PM
[uote]I've had great chemistry with men on first dates but here I am: still single. It's not the be-all to end-all. Once we actually got to dating each other, we found out other qualities/characteristics that rendered us an incompatible match. With online dating, there's way too much of an emphasis put on physical attraction and instant chemistry. The latter is elusive as hell when meeting virtual strangers so you're already being set up for failure. Unless, of course, you change your approach.

May I suggest maybe you have not met the right guy yet, but do you really think the one is NOT going to physically attractive to you? It is NOT online dating that causes humans to be attracted to physically attractive people. That is eons of evolutionary development. When you see a physically attractive person what you are really seeing is good genes and the desire to connect with this person is the desire to improve your own genetic offspring.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hSGRQbkhYLc

I am not suggesting that this is you but I feel a great many people don't want to appear shallow so they then suggest that chemistry and looks are not near as important as the other person's personality. Man, that would make the world easier to live in if that were true. But it is not.
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