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 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 176
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Is dating harder for men or women?Page 8 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

And for the record, men still do the majority of initial contacts with OLD. If women had it so bad the contact ratio would be 50/50. Like a poster said... create two profiles with pictures of two average looking middle age people, one woman and one man, and see which one gets the most traffic.


Google the definitive "Cupid on Trial" experiment by Jon Millward in 2012.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 177
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/29/2018 2:01:13 PM
Problem, men thinking they're all that because they have a penis. That actually diminishes them. Be interesting, show you have some depth, anything, something, to create interest in yourself from the opposite sex.

Juju exhibits self worth. Some men don't like it, while others would want someone that doesn't think negatively about themselves. For men that seek their equals, she would be it.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 178
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/29/2018 4:35:16 PM

NewYorker58
WTF? Henry, that's really disgusting for you to suggest she joins sex sites. That's a lie too, that a guy from there would want to "spend time" with someone they're going to think is a whore. He certainly won't have respect for her, maybe an std, but no respect. So your suggestion is that she becomes a sperm bucket. Why don't you suggest she stands on a street corner soliciting men?

You gotta love people who throw around phrases like “sperm bucket”. Hateful words and phrases make it very difficult to have a rational adult conversation. But then I doubt you’ve ever had such a conversation in your entire life.

If you’ve never engaged in such conduct (open sexuality), how do you know that he will think she is a “whore”? How do you know that he wouldn’t want to spend any time with her? If you’ve never been there, never done that, how would you have a damn clue?

And for those of you who are claiming that masturbation is preferable to real sex with a real human …

Damn, I’m having a hard time trying to decide what to say about that. It is a free country, you are an adult, so you get to live your life the way you want. But I wouldn’t want to be you, I’ll just leave it at that.
 Rumours
Joined: 6/4/2018
Msg: 179
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/29/2018 4:36:28 PM

men thinking they're all that because they have a penis. That actually diminishes them. Be interesting, show you have some depth, anything, something

Wow....there seriously is something wrong with you.

But I wouldn’t want to be you, I’ll just leave it at that.

Ditto...I just called her on being such a nasty B
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 180
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/29/2018 4:57:49 PM
I know people that use adult friend finder and other sites. They're not pretending to be there for anything but sex. They're sites for sex hook ups. I don't think that's the kind of relationship she wants, or she really could go stand on a street corner.

Open sexuality? So a woman is not open sexually with her committed partner? I know this is your life, Henry. You're hoping there are a lot of women that don't use any parameters for who they have sex with, even though you do. What you do doesn't make for good advice for someone else. If Bombay was your daughter, would you suggest she join a sex site to find a relationship?
 I_Am_Con_S_Tip_ated
Joined: 4/4/2018
Msg: 181
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/29/2018 6:27:15 PM
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/16710120datingPostpage8.aspx

MSG 192:

NewYorker58
Posted: 8/29/2018 2:01:13 PM

Juju exhibits self worth. Some men don't like it,
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ohenryx Posted: 8/25/2018 803 AM

Some very interesting comments here. One woman, who talks about “keeping it real”, I don’t think I would want to meet her. But I’m sure there are others who agree with her.
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Posted: 8/25/2018 7:35:52 AM

Not that I'm in the habit of sending dyck pics, but I have had women ask and I did oblige.
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dark_n_juju

Posted: 8/12/2018 419 PM

The other puzzle is why some send****pics to a stranger and think we would be turned on by that..


When I first started on line dating I was on a site that allowed pictures. I got a guy who sent a picture of his purple-blue penis against a pasty vainly thigh.
The only thing that went through my mind was 1. Is he trying to turn me off of sex altogether? AND why is it that color? What is he doing to himself?
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If I am high maintenance because I expect a man to bring so much more to the table than a penis then sue me.
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dark_n_juju

Posted: 8/16/2018 5:05:42 AM
Have they changed this? I am 52 and I just had an email from a guy 67. That is a 15-year difference. Did they drop this rule? PLEASE tell they did not.
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Wow. I have never found older men sexy. NEVER.
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I still go out to dance the night away. I still twerk. In fact, my ass has gotten bigger as I have gotten older so it bounces a lot better.
Only been in Houston a year. I am still looking for my hot spot. Most older people here believe that sitting and drinking beer is a night out. OR EATING forgot how much the people of this city love to eat. I will be heading to the Red Rooster to check it out just haven't had a chance to do it yet.
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Men in my age group rarely inspire the lust they wish. Most of the time the inspire the hold that penny with your knees.
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I am not a fixer. If a man is too sorry to lose the weight that is killing MORE power to the weight. He can't stop smoking with all kinds of lung issues. PEACE OUT! IF he wants to sit around and not work out to get his body in the best shape as he can then I am not a therapist or a trainer or a dietitian OR HIS MOTHER. The crazy thing is I want a man who is working to be the best him he can be. Let's be honest so many people aren't about the hard work of being their best selves.
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I can say that being attractive can and always has been a double edge sword. Rarely do men see me as a real person
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ohenryx

Ok if you say so.
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ME: Miss Juju is gone?
I hope she is only at the Red Rooster, and not run off by anyone in this forum.
Please come back Miss Juju
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 182
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/29/2018 7:17:09 PM

What happened to juju?😦 I hope she self-deleted and will be back.


Her posts DO make me laugh (at her), and help me keep my neck muscles strong with all the SMH moments.


someone that doesn't think negatively about themselves.


Apparently she doesn't see THREE failed marriages as a negative.


For men that seek their equals, she would be it.


Not even close.
 BombayBeach
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 183
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 1:15:41 AM
Don't worry...I am an old veteran of online dating sites, tried most of them (paid) at least once...found it was the same revolving lot of guys, went on quite a few dates for about 6 months..less as the years went on until finally just tired of trying to even get a guy to meet up for dinner. Always "too busy" or they have to get their motorcycle fixed, one reason or another.

I would never use an adult sex site. I found enough guys had herpes from Match, OK*upid and right here on POF. That's one of the big things that ended up turning me off of it all..the preponderance of STD's at this age.

I am not necessarily unhappy with gardening and masturbation! I have rediscovered porn in a big way and am exploring things I never thought to look up before. Sort of eye opening. And mostly...it's safe. No real life "useless predatory males" as the brilliant Jordan Peterson puts it, no herpes and no let downs.

As tough as it was to accept that dating is very very different now at my age...and not just because of the age...I have finally settled into a better balanced and more peaceful state of mind. I took all of the "I want to find someone" pressure off myself and adjusted my focus and most importantly: Adjusted my expectations. I am no longer 20, and cannot expect to be reacted to as a 20 year old.
 Rumours
Joined: 6/4/2018
Msg: 184
Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 6:38:13 AM

I would never use an adult sex site.

Makes two of us..

I found enough guys had herpes from Match, OK*upid and right here on POF. That's one of the big things that ended up turning me off of it all..the preponderance of STD's at this age.

I'm surprised you got that personal with people to find that out. :/
I met a lot of men and we talked about many things...not one admitted to being married or having a STD.
But...very few got past a first meet. Not saying....some may have.


I have finally settled into a better balanced and more peaceful state of mind.

That's a good thing but you're far too young to give up all together.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 185
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 9:09:51 AM
Bombay, I've read one too many profiles where the guy says he has herpes, then tries to downplay it☺ I think stats are about 1 out of 8 people from ages 14 - 49 have it, but I've heard 1 in 5 or 6 have it. I'm sure it's more prevalent among men on those sex sites Henry is fond of.

Many women over 50 are deciding to enjoy their female friendships for movies, dinner and traveling together instead of wasting precious time waiting for a decent guy that's a good match.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 186
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 9:18:30 AM
Looks like our Juju has spontaneously human combusted. Too bad...kinda liked her.....Hope she comes back.

Dearly departed Juju wrote:
typically every man thinks he is a 10 and every woman realizes she is NOT even close to a 10.
And who's fault is that?

I think it's healthy for everyone, especially men, to consider themselves "10s." And I say "especially men," simply because they are, for the most part, the ones who have to have the confidence to take risks and make the moves.


Walk like a man, and talk like a man.
Walk like a man, hey baby, you can call me your man.

A little girl asked me what am I gonna' do,
When I get old and blue and worn clear through?
And I say by that time I ought to be in my prime,
I'm gonna' strut like a****until I'm ninety-nine.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTSxAMPXJ80

Juju:
The men who use online dating are very much about what the woman looks like. They are guys who don't have the courage to approach these women IN the real world. ONLINE DATING gives them an opportunity they WOULD never have in the real world. Approach a woman they perceive at pretty. .
Probably kinda true. I agree that the anyonymity of OLD gives many timid men, inexperienced men, and @sshole men the means to contact attractive women, if for no other reason cuz they can...so these women probably see the gamut of the worst men have to offer. I don't doubt that at all, given the proponderance of toxic dialog forums enable, no matter what the setting. Just witness the Off Tropics here. Considering that many men are pigs, I shudder at what some attractive women must receive in their inboxes. So it should be no surprise that some women just check out and get bitter.
 patchmanjoker
Joined: 7/28/2017
Msg: 187
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 9:53:00 AM
^^^^^^
The problem with ladies like JUJU is that she changes the narrative to fit her argument. She stated that men approach hot women online because they know they would have no chance in real life yet also states that basically most men think they are 10s. And this comes from a person who puts "princess" for her personality type. How would she feel about a guy who lists "prince", "king", or "stud" as his personality... We already know the answer to that. I am sure that women get perverted messages, but I'm sure she, as well as others, also get genuine messages as well, but I am willing to bet that she found other things wrong with those guys to justify her rejecting them. Most guys who are not jerks are not going to stay with OLD for too long because they soon learn that it is actually more difficult than finding dates IRL. That just leaves the perverts who don't care, married guys looking for side action, and the PUA types. I know it can be difficult for women to sort through these different kinds of guys. This would start to change if the normal guys got rewarded more so they could start pushing these other types away from these sites. The sad fact is the players, pervs, pick up artists, and married guys all probably do better than the normal guy. One of the problems is the whole "nice guy" label. "Oh, he seems really nice, must be something wrong with him".
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 188
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 9:53:21 AM
Patchman wrote:
You can walk by a store that carries clothing for bigger women and see pictures in the window of obese women in underwear for all to see. Can you tell me the last time you walked by a men's clothing store and saw a picture of an overweight guy with a beer gut and plumbers crack standing in his tight whites in the front window?
Too funny. Come to think of it, most mens' mannequins are built like greek gods. I can imagine an obese dude mannequin wearing tight briefs, giant belly hanging out...plumber's butt....and he's holding a beer in one hand, cigar in another...with a "who really gives a f..*I* know I'm a 10!!!" expression on his face!

Dearly departed Juju expounds on masturbation:
IN MY IMAGINATION it has an amazing body.
So, men aren't allowed to be "10s" except in your imagination?


It doesn't ask me who I was out with last night.
Unless you know sign language.


It doesn't complain about my cats
Of course not. If it didn't like cats, it wouldn't....nevermind.


And you are hard pressed to walk in any place and see a man in his tighty whities.
Of course not, they'd be arrested for indecent exposure, or taken away to the perv farm.

Cooldog wrotr:
We have something in common and it isn't gardening
Hopefully, it isn't "given up trying to find a man," either. Not that there's anything wrong with that, though.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 189
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 10:03:16 AM
^^ Patchman
I get it, but I do understand that women, particularly attractive women, don't get a valid sampling of the men that are out there. In IRL or OLD....and that's because the @ssholes are more likely to approach, and the "nice" guys don't. Actually I would think more "nice" guys would have more success in OLD because it takes out a lot of the risk of a cold approach. That's one of the conundrums of life. I guess that's one of the reasons many women go for the men they are interested in, instead of waiting around for men to make a move.

No matter if we agree with her...I didn't on many things..she was entertaining to read. But I'll look on the bright side, maybe now that she's gone, my Cleavage Tunnel Syndrome will get a rest.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 190
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 1:25:32 PM

That just leaves the perverts who don't care, married guys looking for side action, and the PUA types.

You forgot the Forums Only folk.
And, since I prefer men that can carry on a conversation, this is where I look.
 BombayBeach
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 191
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 2:23:47 PM
The herpes reveal was (fortunately) before we had sex. I declined. But it really shook me up...I had no really considered this before, after being in a relationship for 10 years. So from then on, I asked. Later that year with someone else...herpes again! And again I declined. As the months went by I started to put less and less energy into the "shopping for someone" mindset.

While OLD certainly was able to line me up with endless "first dates" I ended going back to trying the "old fashioned way" of striking up conversations in social groups I am part of in real life, and it's endless excuses from men. Well, reasons, not excuses. No one is obligated to grab coffee or go on a hike, of course. I have male friends who seem to like me and keep telling me they are interested in going on day trips or going on a walk...and they ASK me to tell them the next time I am going and to let them know, and when I do, here comes the reasons they cant go..it's too late in the evening, or they are busy (almost always they are busy) or they have something else planned...hahahah! They TOLD me to invite them to stuff.

Hilarious! Anyway, how many times can I take the initiate..at request..and then be turned down.

I've found things to be much more peaceful/less stressful when I cease trying to find male company...in the sense that it might "lead to more". Let's put it that way. Men are best at this point in my life as "buddies"..and I am never short of male buddies. It's the making an effort to go one on one for dinner or a quiet walk that doesnt work.

The adult dating site thing is not the place to me unless you have a fetish or lifestyle that is all consuming. It's really for people who live and operate as sex up front and center and are more willing to take risks trying to find it. I'm not in that category.....
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 192
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 4:22:01 PM
I was married for 15 years. With him cheating, I'm grateful I didn't get an std from him. I've never had one, and don't want to start now☺

Your male friends may be more interested in something that's male orientated, not that hiking isn't. If they're not hikers, they may not really want to go hiking, even though they said they would. Maybe they'd be more interested in a drink at a bar they frequent, though it may not be your thing.
 BombayBeach
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 193
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 4:32:20 PM
My friends are bigger hikers than I am.

I am just sensing that the particular person that keeps wanting me to invite him, then declining...wants the comfort of a "penpal" email thing moreso than nailing down specific times to meet in person.

I dont think it's the activity that people dont like..I'm open to many things..it's just this habit of work work work people seem to get into. At this age, people are not starting their lives, they are already busy in their hives, and can get into ruts where even making time to meet for an hour never happens.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 194
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 4:56:43 PM
If that's a pof person, they may not entirely be who they're representing themselves to be, and don't want that revealed.

I see you're in Emeryville. Looks like a great area. I'm big into hiking. I've visited CA several times, did the coastal drive twice. I hiked along the coast in Big Sur and other parks along the water. I contacted hiking friends in CA and organized a trip to Pt. Reyes National Seashore. I did the Polomarin trail to Alamere Falls, the one of two waterfalls on the beach. The other one being in Big Sur. I told the guys to bring lunch that we'll eat on the beach by the waterfall. It was a great hike and a great day.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alamere_Falls
 BombayBeach
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 195
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Is dating harder for men or women?
Posted: 8/30/2018 5:36:52 PM
I actually am in So Cal.

I run my own hiking group, so all these fellows I am meeting are involved in local hiking groups and show up at my events off and on. I havent used online dating since 2012.

I no longer pursue anyone, so these are people who have demonstrated some amount of interest by staying in contact thru emailing primarily. Since they have reached out to me, and have actually TOLD me they want to hike with me in the local hills, its tiresome to keep being put off when I ask...but like I said, it's people who are just too wrapped up in their work, their habits. I have very little, if anything invested in any of this...it's like watching the last gasps of a social life evaporate. I dont know what really is going on...a lack of men my age that are available...people willing to actually put the time aside...the availability of new distractions in the last few years (Netflix, social media, dating apps, work) I think more people are tethered to their TV's and computers and as I have said, are just in the habit of letting work consume them.
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