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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 326
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Do nice guys finish last?Page 14 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
Damn July girl....you have got to get rid of that podunk view of the world/relationships!!

I have never felt the need to "work harder" than a man at a relationship....and I'll be damned if someone would try and make me feel that way!!

and as long as YOU feel that way....you will emit those feelings onto any man you see and end up getting treated exactly like you have in the past....
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 327
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/22/2018 4:25:23 PM


You gave up to soon! You look just fine to me. You have a beautiful smile, you're more than tall enough and attractive to boot. I think you have no one because you gave up trying. Of course you're worth being given a chance! ...and if this is what I think -- There will be others that do as well. :)


You, are one of the few that ever told me that. As for giving up too soon, yes I did. Doing without, can do one of a couple things. It can depress, and make people withdraw. Or, they can overcome it and make a person stronger. I'd like to think that it made me stronger, and more self-entertaining.

Now I don't care anymore. Dating is a chore that I no longer want to fool with. It just frees me up to do other things that I don't see as a hindrance.
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 328
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/22/2018 5:04:10 PM
July, I have never encountered a man who wanted someone who could cook and clean. It has actually been quite the opposite in that men I have encountered online and in person often state emphatically that they are quite capable of doing these things for themselves. That may be due to a combination of age difference and the difference between a large (ish) city versus semi-rural area. I often wonder when I read your posts what your life experience (job-wise and relationship-wise in particular) would be like if you moved to Regina. But I believe you have mentioned wanting to remain in your area. Do you encounter men who actually articulate wanting a partner who can cook and clean? I only ask because I run into the complete opposite.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 329
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/22/2018 6:41:11 PM

I have never encountered a man who wanted someone who could cook and clean.



LOL Me neither, I'm not the housekeeper or meal prepper. HE is perfectly capable of looking after himself and that's why they have restaurants.

I have always kept a clean home, and I dated / married men who were not looking for a maid or cook. They were totally able to do that on their own. I raised my son the same way.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 330
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/22/2018 7:22:09 PM
I have always preferred the traditional relationship were the man is the bread winner and the woman is the homemaker. of course this requires a woman that also prefers that arrangement. this worked well when I was married with kids and making a lot more money. had I made less, or had she wanted a career, probably wouldn't of worked. not so sure I would want that now but definitely think one would be better at certain responsibilities while the other excels in other areas. regardless of gender. if the man enjoys cooking and the woman hates it, if the women is better with money and he cant balance a checkbook or if she doesn't mind laundry but despises yard work, it shouldn't be that hard to decide who does what rather than both doing half of each.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 331
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/22/2018 8:53:35 PM

If they are too high maintenance for you then you are not good enough for them.


No, if they are too high-maintenance for me, it means they are too needy for me. We aren't talking about luxury cars here.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 332
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/22/2018 10:21:59 PM
A few guys I have known have said that a woman who cooks well, keeps a tidy place and is good with kids are all good qualities to look for in a woman to settle down with. I have heard the saying "Martha Stewart in the kitchen, Marilyn Monroe in the bedroom and Mary Poppins in the nursery" several times over the years. True, this is the 21st century and women are equal to men and the household tasks should be equally shared, but from what I've heard, men prefer their women be the primary housekeeper and childminder. I grew up hearing feminist ideas. However, to my shock, I observed that most women ended up the default housekeeper and childminder. It is still rather rare for household tasks and childminding to be equally shared, even though many women now work fulltime. Of course, many men work longer hours and longer distances away for their jobs and often make more money too so it is logical that the women becomes the one to handle the bulk of household tasks.

Note, men might not say they prefer a woman who cooks well and keeps a clean house but do you honestly believe they don't?
 Bret23
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 333
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/23/2018 12:36:45 AM
All I know is this site sucks, I have been here for at least 10 years and had like 2 dates. Most of the women are fake profiles and it never ends
 Bret23
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 334
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/23/2018 12:41:41 AM
If there are any real women here that would like to talk sometime, then please message me!
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 335
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/23/2018 2:24:49 AM

All I know is this site sucks, I have been here for at least 10 years and had like 2 dates. Most of the women are fake profiles and it never ends


If there are any real women here that would like to talk sometime, then please message me!

Well gosh. You look so friendly and warm in all your photos. Perhaps a trip to Profile Review is in order?
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 336
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Posted: 9/23/2018 4:10:37 AM
Yes I honestly believe the ones I encounter don't. As I said, it isn't that they are not mentioning the subject. They often mention the subject and are quite emphatic about it. They say they are very capable of doing those things and don't need or want them, just like they don't need or want another mother for their children. But it isn't like many are pursuing second marriages or marital type relationships where they have to live with someone again. Like I said, our differences in experience may be due to age difference and the type of communities we live in. The men I encounter are older and their children are often older. High incomes are not uncommon in males in my age group here so even if they aren't doing the cooking and cleaning themselves, they have incomes that allow them to have others do these things for them. However, even in young and married with young children, those things are not happening the way they may have in decades of past. Edmonton is large and urban. It's pretty fast paced. Commute times are often long. Ambition is quite prevalent in both genders. Cleaning services are abundant and popular (many on my block use them once to twice a week). And restaurants here are well-used to the point that I wouldn't even bother trying to go to the most popular ones Thursday through Saturday, although they are not as busy as they were during the oil hey-days. Every third block has Tim's and/ or Mc'D's or sone other fast food place and the drive thrus are always full at any meal time - always. In two parent households here, most are busy driving their children to different parts of the city for various activities most days of the week. Most of the married people at work, for example, have several nights weekly when they don't get home until 8 or later because of activities the children are involved in. Time is tight for both spouses. Many people don't get to spend a lot of time at home. Cooking and cleaning are activities that are often farmed out to those who provide the services for fees in other words. I guess it's just survival for many.
 Tom├ísIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 337
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/23/2018 5:24:20 AM
Bret it's not that there aren't real women here, their actually hiding in those cloaked profiles it's the only place safe for them. I get ladies give me their pictures and meeting cause I message those profiles with only a name and few generics on it. Try it after about 4-5 friendly messages maybe a bit of humor you'll see. Oh and you can't message less than 14 yrs as far as I know, so you might want to fix age range but I could be wrong since I only message 5 yrs younger and max 3 yrs older.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 338
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Posted: 9/23/2018 7:50:12 AM

A few guys I have known have said that a woman who cooks well, keeps a tidy place and is good with kids are all good qualities to look for in a woman to settle down with

well sure....we all prefer someone who is tidy, can throw dinner together now and then and is good with kids.
Do you know anyone that says that want someone that is a slob and can't boil water??
Kind of a default preference for both men and women I would think!!
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 339
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Posted: 9/23/2018 8:52:53 AM

Do you know anyone that says that want someone that is a slob and can't boil water??
I have been looking for years! I don't see this so much with educated professionals but more common in the trades or gas wells. the single men working long hours of physically demanding work usually order pizza or bar food and live out of their laundry baskets while the married ones either have wives that do it or hire someone if they both work. the scenario I see time and time again is two lower paid workers decide it is better for one to over extend themselves at work for double the money while the other raises the kids and save on daycare. most of my friends without kids both work and split the responsibilities.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 340
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/23/2018 10:39:18 AM

I have been looking for years!


you have been looking for a slob?
or you have been looking for someone that is looking for a slob? LOL
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 341
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Posted: 9/23/2018 11:45:14 AM

want someone that is a slob and can't boil water ??


... ^^^ ...

... I've noticed that a woman scorned ~ can make water boil, by just staring at it ...

... As far as nice guys go, I figure I'm a " pretty good guy " ~ thank god I'm not the worse, col ...

* lyrics ~ " There's couple old people, live across the road ..
.................. So I keep the volume down, on my stereo ..
.................. And all the neighbors say, when I go by ..
.................. He's a pretty good guy ..

.................. And if you ask me to, I'll fix your car ..
.................. It's just the way I am ..
.................. I got a pretty good life, I'm a pretty good guy ..

..... A PRETTY GOOD GUY by Chris Knight .....
..... > turn it up ^
..... heart / sun
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 342
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Posted: 9/23/2018 12:02:02 PM
... " She was wrong & I was right ~ I'm a pretty good guy " col


**** Check out both the live & studio versions ~ sounds like the " live audience " was a bit tipsy, col ( chuckle out loud )

...... Actually , more like drunken swines ( no offense pig > lol )
...... swines > like the rest of us " pretty good people " on occasion ......

heart / sun
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 343
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/24/2018 5:20:51 AM
Oh my gosh, why worry about all the cooking and cleaning? Just make a it a team effort or hire someone. Whatever happened to love?
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 344
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Posted: 9/24/2018 5:39:59 AM
for a time I wondered if the same thing applied to nice women.
for a time I pondered if most men preferred crazy chicks, chicks that were more off the hook than others. but believe me piss a woman off bad enough and you'll see a whole new crazy then you've ever seen before.

to be honest I wouldn't be interested in a man that would tolerate the kind of drama that comes with not being a nice person.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 345
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Posted: 9/24/2018 12:56:57 PM
Something to ponder beyond a romantic interest...
Is there an uneven balance in how much 'Drama' is allowed by society between the genders?

My brother is being relentlessly harassed by his high-paid doctor ex-wife and has had more than a couple false claims of child protection filed against him, and yet the county and family courts keep allowing her to do so without any hesitation. It really seems like some women of establishment can do ANYthing outside of commit a felony in a crowded room and get away with it. He's down to two 2-hour supervised visits a month, and she has NEVER had a psych evaluation done on her OR the kids. She neglects their health care, locks them in their bedrooms at night, and has what appears to be a classic case of dis-associative disorder. Her father was a raging alcoholic who beat mom and the kids on a regular basis - and yet they keep giving my brother (the church volunteer, school bus driver and EMT) the short leash.

There are plenty of guys in here that put up with a lot of crap and keep their cool. Some guys don't even need to throw a temper tantrum to lose their jobs, their money, and their freedom, while others savagely beat their spouses and kids and commit felonies on a regular basis. Why people assume they 'know' which is which - just floors me.

Being 'nice' doesn't mean they have to put up with being shat upon for falling into an 'inferior' demographic category or not living up to the golden expectations. Calling out crap dumped on them once in a while doesn't mean they are nasty people. Being white or male doesn't mean they are born into privilege. Being a father that's near broke from excessive lawyer fees does not mean he can't love someone or be an exceptional partner.
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I personally see a Drunk & Disorderly arrest record for a woman as something extremely bad, because they damn near have to kill someone to get taken away. Guys - especially depending on their size - don't have to be nearly as animate to get tased and handcuffed. There's a local guy who is a regular at a neighborhood bar, and he is literally scared to get drunk - because he's 6' 11" and a huge build and everyone in the building can spot him instantly -- anything he does that looks even remotely suspicious gets an anonymous call to the cops. He jokes semi-seriously that as white man he gets interrogated more by cops than any black man in the room. True or not, it makes you think about all the bad assumptions made based on appearance - and bad assumptions are not exclusively limited to ANY particular color, gender or other demographic.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 346
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Posted: 9/24/2018 1:54:13 PM
msg#345: Sounds like your brother needs a different attorney. What an awful story. ;-(
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 347
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Posted: 9/24/2018 4:50:15 PM

can't boil water??


I can boil water.

Although one time I burned it.

So I just called it Cajun water.
 Seahorse_Jockey
Joined: 8/24/2018
Msg: 348
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/24/2018 5:25:31 PM
What do you do with the water after it's boiled?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 349
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Posted: 9/24/2018 5:31:22 PM
It is scary some of the things that get decided in court based only on heresay. I have heard so many bad stories that it left me petrified of taking my own ex to court. I didn't do it till he left me no choice. He reported me to social services in my province who questioned my kids in school and the teachers and the social worker closed the file because she said she saw no concerns and believed he'd concocted stories. Then when they went for a visit in his province he reported me to social services again and my oldest child told them I'd hit her so hard her nose bled and some other thing. But then when the kids went to see an RCMP child psychologist my other kid was interviewed and said it was a lie and then my oldest confessed her dad put her up to it because he told her she'd get to live with him and he wouldn't make her do chores and he'd let her get her hair dyed and nails done in a shop. But what would have I done if the lie had been believed? I was so scared for a couple weeks there. And what did that do to my kids psychologically too?

I used to work with a lady whose husband had an affair on her. He had been unemployed for a long time and when she moved out with the kids he claimed in court that he was the stay-at-home parent even though he did very little for the kids, his mother was the one to watch them mostly. She ended up only getting custody every other weekend and was forced to pay him alimony and child support. And then fairly quickly he was letting her take the kids most of the time but he told her if she reported it he wouldn't let her have them as much.

I disagree with the concept of alimony. I don't think its fair. If I would ever be forced to pay alimony I'd be livid. When it comes to child support, I think it should depend on certain things. Both parents should have to continue to reside in the same geographic area and be allowed the chance to co-parent with joint custody equally and childcare bills and other child-related expenses should be split. If one parent wants to move away, they should not be allowed to take the children with them and they should then have to pay child support because they are disrupting the joint custody arrangement.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 350
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 4:49:18 AM
Unfortunately divorce can cause a lot of problems. It's just really bad news.
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