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 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 351
Do nice guys finish last?Page 15 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
I personally think that douche bags/bad boys finish last other wise they wouldn't be on this site at over 40 something showing off their muscles and tattoos like some 20 something gang banger ;)
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 352
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 8:58:09 AM
Is that also why women in their 40s are here? They went for the bad boys earlier on, got preggers by these guys and now are all over dating sites looking for the nice guy to come take care of them and their children because they didnt educate themselves past high school because they had kids instead? Probably.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 353
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 9:00:36 AM
SomewhereintheStratosfere wrote:

Sooner or later, you need to bring something else to the table because people get tired of looking at you.
Then bringing a blindfold to the table would probably work.


I could walk into a brain surgeon convention,
Begs the question, I wonder if brain surgeons ever talk among themselves about banging a chick's brains out. And if a brain surgeon does bang a chick's brains out, does his training kick in and he stops, scrubs up, and examines the chick's brains, and try to put them back in?


I haven't met a judge or lawyer yet, who wasn't highly intelligent. NOT ONE is single either,
That means NOT ONE is intelligent as you think they are.


It's usually men who are shallow and can't see beyond a pretty face.
True, but I bet your "highly intelligent" judges and lawyers are all married to pretty faces.


Actually, with one of my jobs, it puts me in contact with highly intelligent men on a semi regular basis
I've always attracted women who valued lowly intelligent men.


I would take a smart guy over a handsome guy. This no way means the handsome guy is stupid.
But all things equal, you'd likely take the handsome guy. Same with men; all things equal, they take the better looking woman. I guess the real issue is how much are folks - men or women - willing to discount character or other qualities for looks.

Norwegian wrote:
Well, you can't detect High intelligence (not just smart) by merely coming into contact with them. Detecting that takes much more than having a 10 second look across the room for looks.
Except if he's the only one wearing a "Big Bang Theory" T-shirt in the room.

Lady in Red wrote:
I dated / married men who were not looking for a maid or cook. They were totally able to do that on their own.
I've always been able to do them on my own, if they're hot.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 354
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 9:11:06 AM
I'm on here because I had a long term relationship for many years. I don't drink or go to bars and my friends are all married with kids and do their own thing
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 355
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 10:52:43 AM

Is that also why women in their 40s are here? They went for the bad boys earlier on, got preggers by these guys and now are all over dating sites looking for the nice guy

Lol - no. Although POF carries the torch for single-mom memberships, women in their 40s on dating sites doesn't mean they got pregnant as a rebellious teen with a rebellious dude, realized they were bad news, finally broke up/divorced, and are looking for a nice guy to carry them out of their trailer park in a whirlwind of glory. It doesn't at all require a regrettable bad-boy scenario for one to be in their 30s, 40s, or 50s, and single.

That means NOT ONE is intelligent as you think they are.

True. If one says they haven't met a judge or (especially) lawyer who wasn't Highly (her stressor) Intelligent -- then that does come into question how "high" that really is. Or in this case, how Hasty one's judgement of something so high is. Looks come into play on that. Because I've met plenty of lawyers were who were reasonably intelligent, but not Highly intelligent, and a few who were plain dumb.

But all things equal, you'd likely take the handsome guy. Same with men; all things equal, they take the better looking woman.

I agree on her part -- although to be fair, as she stated, she balks at guys who are notably handsome. Some gals are like that. That said, a guy who's not seen as universally notably handsome can still strike a good nerve with his "look" that she likes, and yes, every gal's going to pick that over barely-doable-Joe with his looks, all other things being roughly equal. And I also argue that when we take a strong liking to their looks (which isn't pure direct sex-drive), it helps shape how we see their other qualities. People like to think "No, not me!" because it sounds too animalistic/robotic.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 356
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 12:30:09 PM

women in their 40s on dating sites doesn't mean they got pregnant as a rebellious teen with a rebellious dude, realized they were bad news, finally broke up/divorced, and are looking for a nice guy to carry them out of their trailer park in a whirlwind of glory.


I'll give an alternative scenario:
Women who worked hard to gain their education/profession found a guy that was professional and intelligent and showing a strong upside for potential. They go for the commitment, spend their lives together, some raising kids. They get themselves far too involved in their individual lives, or the kids' lives, and end up ignoring each other. Time grows them apart, and eventually one (or both) of them makes the decision to seek commitment elsewhere - be it an affair, a new career, or even a pet cat or dog that gives them more attention. Most times the alternative desire is fleeting, but it does break the camel's back, and creates a firm wedge between them that won't grow back together. They end up in here, trying to shop at the discount grocery for the envisioned prime cut of meat they once had. But when you are shopping 20-30 years older, the market has changed, shoppers have changed, and very few have the tenacity and flexibility to deal with blending into the new market. You are left with a lot of upset people realizing that the world keeps turning and evolving and they can't catch up - so they sit and try to use what little social leverage they have to demand something near perfect so at least they can feel good about what they have now.

But actions speak louder than words. Always have. Always will.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 357
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 12:44:26 PM

Is that also why women in their 40s are here? They went for the bad boys earlier on, got preggers by these guys and now are all over dating sites looking for the nice guy to come take care of them and their children because they didnt educate themselves past high school because they had kids instead? Probably.


Let's just stop the judgment already. The fact of the matter is that 90% of us on here are here because we ended up single for a plethora of different reasons. Obviously we didn't choose the right person and there are several complicated reasons for that. The point is we all hope to meet someone better matched to us then what we chose before. And for the record, I ended up with a bad boy at the age of 25, when I was in the final year of my second university degree so I did get educated. I have a Bachelor of Human Ecology specializing in child & adolescent development and a Bachelor of Arts in rural development. I chose a bad boy at 25, not because I wanted a bad boy but because I really gave up on finding a nice guy who I was attracted to. That's what it all comes down to FYI, is being attracted to someone, not whether they are nice or bad. Attractive nice guys get the girls right away and then the attractive bad boys get the ones that the nice guys don't go for.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 358
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 1:00:35 PM
Yawn.

I never chose a 'bad boy', got pregnant early, flunked high school, etc.

I think this is simply more whining, blaming women for not choosing them, and trying to say 'it's all women's fault because they... blah, blah, blah.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 359
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 1:49:33 PM
Lady in Red wrote:

I dated / married men who were not looking for a maid or cook. They were totally able to do that on their own.


I've always been able to do them on my own, if they're hot.



LOL,...….. Cute 4spd!
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 360
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Posted: 9/25/2018 4:28:39 PM
Actually Julystorm choosing the right person has nothing to do with it, you could choose the right person at the wrong time in life. Say your 18 wanting that family life, building your life together they aren't ready to settle down and sow those wild oats just yet. Well it don't work as your not compatible to things you want at that time. You end up breaking up they go one way you go the other have a family, things don't work out for either why cause they had something so special at such a young age they weren't ready to have yet.

Too young to fall in love ------ Motley Crue


I had 2 in my life due too bad timing cared for them both deeply and would have married them, the first didn't want it well neither did the second cause her past, which was fine a long-term relationship from now to doomsday I could have been happy with no paper. As it turned out severe baggage, my disease shit in her life I couldn't expect her to deal with her problems in her life and aiding her when I was having serious problems of my own and can expect her to do both. That is not equal relationship I weighed pros and cons of the situation and decided it was best to remove myself so she could focus on that. I could have been wrong we might have survived the shit and had a strong relationship. The odds were against that outcome drastically and the chance was so minimal there was no point in risking.

There is an old saying if you love something set it free, if it doesn't come back to you it was never meant to be.
 taguilliams
Joined: 5/11/2016
Msg: 361
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/25/2018 4:40:05 PM
Peanut butter jelly time peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 362
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Posted: 9/25/2018 9:25:23 PM


I haven't met a judge or lawyer yet, who wasn't highly intelligent. NOT ONE is single either,

About 6 or 7 years ago, I dated a superior court judge for a few months. She was intelligent, but not a genius by any means. Hard work, determination, and effort had taken her to where she was. And yes, she was definitely single. Divorced, for the second time, if it matters.



Actually, with one of my jobs, it puts me in contact with highly intelligent men on a semi regular basis

A large number of the people whom I work with every day have PhD’s in geology and physics and computer science and … Men and women. Some of them are very intelligent, but not most. Most just applied themselves, worked hard, and kept on working hard until they got what they wanted. Granted, they are not dumb, but they are not geniuses either.

And WTH does any of this have to do with “Do Nice Guys Finish Last?”
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 363
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Posted: 9/26/2018 7:14:33 AM

msg#345: Sounds like your brother needs a different attorney. What an awful story. ;-(

Part of filing an order for protection against his kids is that if it holds, he loses his job as a school bus driver. She's not just doing these filings to protect her kids, she's doing this stuff to f*ck up his life. Her attorney is a freakin' expert at filing motion after motion, delay and delay, basically forcing my brother to stay broke trying to keep up with lawyer fees. They stretched out the divorce proceedings more than two years with dozens of frivolous filings and revisions with the hope they could force my brother to concede parental rights by making him broke on legal costs. He know practically every lawyer within a 50 mile radius because he has begged many for free consults and had to learn on his own the ins and outs of family law. No matter what gets settled in the courts, lawyers get paid, or they move on.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 364
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Posted: 9/26/2018 8:44:34 AM
The family law system needs to be reformed bigtime. Too often you get one person who is pretty much ridiculous and out for blood. There is no such thing as rational decisions and compromise. In my province we have this program called Family Matters, where a couple is assigned a worker and they go through subsidized mediation and counselling sessions and a lawyer can complete their paperwork. I signed up for the program but my ex just refused point blank. I even had my worker phone him to talk about the benefits to such a program but he absolutely refused. I said to him, to go through the courts would cost 1000s of dollars in legal fees but he said "Correction. It'll cost you 1000s of dollars because I'll qualify for legal aid." I wish the Family Matters program was mandatory. What is mandatory is the Parenting After Separation and Divorce course but I sat through 8 hours of an instructor teaching about co-parenting and compromise and all that and talking about all the ways we can affect our kids and the whole time I was thinking what a waste of time because I was going against someone with no intent to co-parent or compromise, he was just intent on destroying me.
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 365
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Posted: 9/28/2018 9:56:21 PM
Henry I think it's where the standard of appeal is set not sure though. You work in a particular field that gives you access to possibly intelligent men who say and do stupid things like complain about a their password not working. Nothing servicing those types and them saying can you fix the damn machine I have to have these in by end of weekend. Get right on it sir thinking " All that intelligence and can't remember a damn password". Oh my favorite the damn printer is not working walk over look down someone unplugged it oh let's have fun with this guy. Yeah this is a mess back here it's going to take me a little while to fix it you can go get a drink or something, plug it in and think that's what you get for wasting my time next time no green light means no power.

Who is she trying to kid about them in their high intelligence and miss the simplest of things. Oh right their above common sense bahahahaha.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 366
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Posted: 9/29/2018 6:11:52 AM
This last series of posts is exactly why I gave up on the dating mess.

That sort of grief isn't worth my time anymore.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 367
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Posted: 9/29/2018 1:16:05 PM

Tomaslasan
Henry I think it's where the standard of appeal is set not sure though. You work in a particular field that gives you access to possibly intelligent men who say and do stupid things like complain about a their password not working. Nothing servicing those types and them saying can you fix the damn machine I have to have these in by end of weekend. Get right on it sir thinking " All that intelligence and can't remember a damn password". Oh my favorite the damn printer is not working walk over look down someone unplugged it oh let's have fun with this guy. Yeah this is a mess back here it's going to take me a little while to fix it you can go get a drink or something, plug it in and think that's what you get for wasting my time next time no green light means no power.


No, not really. Men and women with a PhD in a scientific field usually have a very solid problem solving ability. They have studied “the scientific method” for many years, and they believe in it. Yes, they will sometimes let their password expire because they tend to be very busy, but they don’t forget it. The older ones (like me) keep a written list of passwords in their wallet, the younger ones usually have it in their cell phone.

There are a few who think their time is too precious, they are too important to waste their valuable time solving a miniscule problem. But you soon learn which ones are like that, and you put them at the bottom of your priority list. Most of the people I support are a pleasure to work with, they have often isolated the root cause before they ever call on me. They just need my help because of the security protocols.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 368
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Posted: 10/1/2018 11:43:42 PM

About 6 or 7 years ago, I dated a superior court judge for a few months. She was intelligent, but not a genius by any means. Hard work, determination, and effort had taken her to where she was. And yes, she was definitely single. Divorced, for the second time, if it matters.

Yes, you don't have to stick out as Highly Intelligent to a get a high-level job. But I think what I've noticed with people who say they have a strong gravitation toward highly intelligent people -- it's how said person carries themselves, obviously generally intelligent, etc. -- but have a title/position that "certifies" that. An association between the two, although plenty of people can have high level positions but not stick out as notably intelligent.

A large number of the people whom I work with every day have PhD’s in geology and physics and computer science and … Men and women. Some of them are very intelligent, but not most. Most just applied themselves, worked hard, and kept on working hard until they got what they wanted.

I agree. A close relative of mine has a PhD in theoretical physics studying under a double-nobel prize winner. Intelligent, but if you didn't know of said title (and job teaching) -- you wouldn't go any more than reasonably intelligent. And plus, intelligence isn't a 1-lane road. You can find them pretty smart (knowledgeable and that stuff down pat), and reasonably intelligent when it comes to stuff like that but not amazing by any means... while also being not that intelligent in other ways of thinking.

And WTH does any of this have to do with “Do Nice Guys Finish Last?”

The whole attracted-to-highly-intelligent spawned from my previous conversation, where she was making the strong/big point that looks don't mean much to her... and that she'd take a highly intelligent guy who was meh in looks over a great looking guy (who was even still intelligent).

A guy coming across as highly intelligent -- which one's not Truly going to Know off the bat -- sure, you can have a safe bet they're at least reasonably intelligent, but I think a lot of it is their attitude & how they carry themselves if a said (reasonably intelligent) gal gets that impression off the bat from him. And said attitude & how he carries himself Isn't going to fit the mold of Mr Nice Guy.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 369
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Posted: 10/2/2018 6:45:50 AM
Do nice guys finish last?

Maybe early on they seem to. Women wont date then because they are too nice and not a challenge, and not "fun"
But later in life those nice guys have focused on education and a career and have built up a good life for themselves.

Women who rejected this nice guy in her 20s and 30s and now have a kid or two, a high school education (maybe) see this guy they used to reject and see how comfy and secure he is and then they want to latch on to him for security.

I have 2 friends who are like this and they are awesome guys but women would reject them all the time, now that they have houses and great careers women try to latch on and latch on fast. Luckily they are smart guys and dump these women when their motives show.

Nice guys dont always finish last.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 370
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Posted: 10/2/2018 9:05:11 AM
The more I think about it, the more I wanna call a nice guy what they really are - loser! Thunk about it: What woman would want to date a loser?!

Women want a keeper not a creeper, a winner not a wiener!

Oh wow, I wrote "thunk". I can't brain today!
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 371
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Posted: 10/2/2018 9:57:16 AM
Depends on the type of nice guy i guess. Since the once i know are definitely not losers. The women who try to latch to them are though.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 372
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Posted: 10/2/2018 9:58:17 AM

Women who rejected this nice guy in her 20s and 30s and now have a kid or two, a high school education (maybe) see this guy they used to reject and see how comfy and secure he is and then they want to latch on to him for security.

I have 2 friends who are like this and they are awesome guys but women would reject them all the time, now that they have houses and great careers women try to latch on and latch on fast. Luckily they are smart guys and dump these women when their motives show.


That's right. Like they say, alpha f*cks, beta bucks.


The more I think about it, the more I wanna call a nice guy what they really are - loser! Thunk about it: What woman would want to date a loser?!

Women want a keeper not a creeper, a winner not a wiener!


Being nice makes you a creep? Okay, I guess you learn something new every day.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 373
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Posted: 10/2/2018 11:01:20 AM

The more I think about it, the more I wanna call a nice guy what they really are - loser! Thunk about it: What woman would want to date a loser?!

Kind of a circular argument, tho. If a Mr Nice Guy is a loser, he's a loser to what? His accounting job? No. The dating scene. Okay. He's already losing to women in the dating scene, so the question of "what woman would want to date a loser to the dating scene" is answered by him Not getting them, hence the description of him. :)

Women want a keeper not a creeper, a winner not a wiener!

A Mr Nice Guy isn't necessarily a creeper. He can end up being a keeper -- nothing stopping him on that. But yes, he can come across as a wiener, and he won't come off as being a Winner.
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 374
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Posted: 10/2/2018 11:07:57 AM

Kind of a circular argument, tho. If a Mr Nice Guy is a loser, he's a loser to what? His accounting job? No. The dating scene. Okay. He's already losing to women in the dating scene, so the question of "what woman would want to date a loser to the dating scene" is answered by him Not getting them, hence the description of him. :)


Everyone has a different idea of what a "nice guy" is. Is he someone that would stop to help someone change a tire or is he a pushover that lets people walk all over him? There's nothing negative about being nice. It's a positive quality. I think people are misusing the term when they're trying to talk about someone that's overly agreeable.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 375
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Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/2/2018 11:13:22 AM
msg#372:
Like they say, alpha f*cks, beta bucks.


Nobody says that~
(Smile)
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