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 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 26
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I have never had a problem getting the second date, actually the opposite to the point that I dread the first date because my initial meeting is their start of a relationship. my problem is getting the first date. partially because I don't pretend to be something I am not. the 'fake' people appear a much better catch but fall short rather quickly in real life. I am exactly what I portrayed so if they wanted a first date, why would they not want a second date? say a guy lives in his moms basement, never had a job and wears a star trek costume 24/7. he can pretend and lie to land a date but no chance of a second date, however, if he meets a woman that accepts all that before ever meeting, he stands a got chance at a second date.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 27
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 10/29/2018 12:10:49 PM

I met two men here in 2008 one in June and one in July. I've dated the first one for the past ten years. The second I stopped dating in Jun 2014.

So you were dating two guys at the same time for a long time, huh? :)

I don't know if I want to deal with having "real" dates and getting dressed up perfect, and going out to plush restaurants wondering if the guy is going to pay.

As you say, the 1st date being chill, that's not going to be an issue. You follow up with a 2nd "real" date, you don't opt for plush restaurants. If he does, then obviously the bill's going to be in his direction. Sure, it's a bit weird, but on that 1st "chill" date, you can say how you don't have much money and like to keep outings less on the fancy side. In the end though, more often than not, you're not paying for what you consume (or just partially) -- so you do come out on the better end. Turn lemons into lemonade! :)
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 28
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/1/2018 3:23:05 PM
So you were dating two guys at the same time for a long time, huh? :)
Yes I was.. and they knew about each other. One was more possessive than the other. The other one more platonic.

"Turn lemons into lemonade! "
I always suggest simple. I like to keep it simple and I'm not fond of overrated restaurants. I watched too many episodes of
Gordon Ramsay "Kitchen Nightmares"!! I'm putting the last of 4 daughters through college and so my income is covering that and
all of my household bills plus my mortgage, taxes, water.. etc. If I have "extra" money I like to spend it on my grandchildren, not fancy meals.
The best second date I had this summer was meeting at a grocery store and buying day old bread and going to feed the ducks. Simple like that.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 29
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/1/2018 3:26:36 PM

Yes I was.. and they knew about each other. One was more possessive than the other. The other one more platonic.

At first I was going to suggest they'd be high-fiving ("Tag team, back again...")... but if one was possessive in any way, and it was for such a long time, why would he be cool with the other for a long time too? The other one wasn't platonic if you were dating him -- just sounds like it wasn't aimed to be that serious. Regardless though, porking is porking, even if it's spaced apart over time and not your #1 priority guy who may get jealous. :)
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 30
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/2/2018 3:31:15 AM


The best second date I had this summer was meeting at a grocery store and buying day old bread and going to feed the ducks.


https://www.popsci.com/feeding-ducks-bread
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 31
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/2/2018 5:47:26 AM
@ norwegianguy456 "At first I was going to suggest they'd be high-fiving ("Tag team, back again...")... but if one was possessive in any way, and it was for such a long time, why would he be cool with the other for a long time too? The other one wasn't platonic if you were dating him -- just sounds like it wasn't aimed to be that serious."

It wasn't like that at all.. never had a ménage à trois. The one that was possessive was possessive of my time and attention. He thought I should be exclusive to him but he wasn't exclusive to me. The first one (ten years) was always my friend first and occasionally more until he stopped respecting my boundaries and complained about the way I communicate.

@ norwegianguy456"Regardless though, porking is porking, even if it's spaced apart over time and not your #1 priority guy who may get jealous. :)"

I never eat pork.. ever. It can give you worms.

@ MeramecRiverRat to above.^^^^ I know I don't even have to click on you link. Bread is not the best to give to ducks. I should have bought grapes.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 32
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/2/2018 8:48:03 AM
I only started dating a couple of months ago, after a long marriage and long divorce finally ended 2 years ago (it takes a while to want to date again after a divorce, even though some people appear to jump right back into the game), so I don't have dating experience going back the last 5 years.

e.g. No second date with this woman:

She looked older in person than her pics.
She claimed she didn't drink, but drank 3 glasses of the most expensive wine in the restaurant on our first date. She told me a lot of things, especially after that second glass of wine. So maybe that was a good thing.
She claimed she was Christian but later told me she didn't believe in God anymore.

I've been on some date or other about every other week now.
Going on a 3rd date this evening with a woman whom I can talk to for hours!
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 33
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/2/2018 10:15:21 AM
"Feeding the ducks" has a very different meaning in Thailand

https://www.salon.com/1999/12/07/duck/
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 34
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/2/2018 1:06:19 PM

It wasn't like that at all.. never had a ménage à trois.

I never implied that. I was implying they were cool both porking the same gal -- like comparing notes happily (ie high-fiving).

The one that was possessive was possessive of my time and attention. He thought I should be exclusive to him but he wasn't exclusive to me.

Which I can understand keeping your options open if he keeps his open. Funny thing is, those usually don't last terribly long, especially if one of the parties wants to spend a lot of time together.

The first one (ten years) was always my friend first and occasionally more until he stopped respecting my boundaries and complained about the way I communicate.

I wouldn't say that'd have anything to do with crossing the platonic line, but just being a friend you hang out with -- platonic or not.

I never eat pork.. ever. It can give you worms.

That's why some people wear condoms, even though they're just aimed for sailors and bus drivers. ;)
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 35
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/2/2018 8:32:18 PM
I've been divorced for 10 years. I'm, also, 67 years old. During this 10 years I've met for coffee with a number a women and dated 3 of them. Women accuse men of only wanting sex. One the other hand women seem to meet because the immediate goal is marriage.

I'm not saying marriage is bad but when that is the chief priority men will disappear on you ladies. Just like women disappear when they find out men only want sex. I'm at the point where I have refrained from asking anyone out because the conversation within a few dates turns to marriage.

Men should stop pushing early sex and women should stop pushing marriage early on.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 36
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/2/2018 8:39:19 PM
"One the other hand women seem to meet because the immediate goal is marriage.

I'm not saying marriage is bad but when that is the chief priority men will disappear on you ladies."

The men also disappear when I tell them before I accept a date that I don't want to get married.

Guess we just can't win.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 37
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/3/2018 4:35:55 PM
I haven't had a first date in 7 years. (But I stopped asking five years ago)

A guy I know became a widower back in August. I do occasional work for him. He told me that he's marrying his sister in law in March. (He's retiring then) I highly doubt that he's dated another woman in that time. Since he's known her for 52 years, I guess he knows her. (or should have by this time) Seems odd to me, but I've no room to talk.

People can do what they want.
 Kevin116
Joined: 8/7/2018
Msg: 38
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/10/2018 11:42:30 AM
I can only come it for the last 2 years. one I get in a relationship with the woman in about 3 months in she expects me to pay all her bills. we I can she breaks up with me. this is my personal favorite one I need an Amazon gift card please senator me one.

I have to say the worst one is when you go out on a date with somebody you have a good time and then they disappear on you.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 39
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/10/2018 11:52:35 AM

this is my personal favorite one I need an Amazon gift card please senator me one.



Do some research. The latest trend in scamming, is requesting "gift cards". Seriously.
 Kevin116
Joined: 8/7/2018
Msg: 40
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/10/2018 11:58:31 AM

Only had one second date in the past 2 years and she wanted to start a family so I took a pass.

it seems like I always get the ones that don't feel like a connection with me. lol, I just got a text from a female dog out hopefully it's not another I need the Amazon gift card one.
 Kevin116
Joined: 8/7/2018
Msg: 41
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/10/2018 12:03:10 PM

Do some research. The latest trend in scamming, is requesting "gift cards". Seriously.

I know it was a scam at of how was just telling how my experiences have been going on the site.
 MichaelD1974
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 42
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How many good second dates have you gone on in the past 5 years?
Posted: 11/12/2018 10:32:30 AM
Zero good second dates. I have had a mostly non-existent dating life in the past decade or two or three.
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