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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?      Home login  
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 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 26
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

johnfromzelie
have dated enough that it might be quicker to just sit outside the psych ward and get my dates as their released!

Well, they do say that crazy women are the best in bed! (no idea who they are, you know how that works)


hemingway234
George says, "Men are stupid, and women are crazy. Women are crazy because men are stupid." - there is some truth to it. However, in men's defense, love is primarily a woman's game.

George? As in George Carlin? That does sound like something he would say. I really liked that comedian. A very, very sharp wit.

“Love is primarily a woman’s game” – some truth to that. Which is probably why “players” do so well. If women want to play that game, and most men won’t play, then the few men who do are going to be the winners.

purplerider1200
Oh good. At least I know I'm not the only one that seems to get those with mental issues. It's pretty sad to think that any woman that chooses to date me has some sort of mental issue. Yet, I seem to attract those. I learned to listen closely to them. They will tip their hands to me, eventually. Go be batshit crazy with someone else......Please?

I see this a little differently. I think, based on my lifetime of observations, most people, the great majority of people, both men and women are going to do something a little crazy, every now and then. Just part of being human, I guess. The trick is to pick someone who is sane MOST of the time, and whose occasional insanity doesn’t involve murderous or self-destructive behavior.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 27
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/9/2018 2:34:00 PM
I would accept a little crazy. Bi-polar, clinical depression, drug induced neurosci, alcoholism, to name off a few, is what I come acrossed. A little left or right off center I could deal with. I find the real nutcases.

Ever go thumbing through the obits and find an old girlfriend that has finally killed herself? I have, twice. It would have been three times, had I not come home when I did. As my soon-to-be ex wife announced that to me as she walked out the door for the last time. That was two days prior to her stating that she wanted a divorce. That made me think long and hard about NOT trying to save that relationship.

I understand what you're saying. It's that little voice in the back of my mind that's telling me to be wary about whom I get involved with.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 28
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/9/2018 2:49:26 PM
Good grief Purplerider...…………………..I'm thinkn' you need to readjust your picker!
 Norasings
Joined: 8/12/2018
Msg: 29
Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/9/2018 3:54:07 PM
Scenario; You a fit senior , at this point(60+), on the dating scene. You meet your ideal (fit, attractive, lucrative , sane). They fulfill your "wishlist" you can see a future with them. You date for a year, then suddenly things change. They have serious health issues (mental or physical). What then? You run? Look for another perfect match?
The older we get the greater chance of health issues, regardless of " WEIGHT". Reality Check!
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 30
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/9/2018 4:46:06 PM

Scenario; You a fit senior , at this point(60+), on the dating scene. You meet your ideal (fit, attractive, lucrative , sane). They fulfill your "wishlist" you can see a future with them. You date for a year, then suddenly things change. They have serious health issues (mental or physical). What then? You run? Look for another perfect match?
The older we get the greater chance of health issues, regardless of " WEIGHT". Reality Check!
that is pretty much what brought me to these forums! last gf was a better match than my ex wife or any other gf. she was slightly 'off' but not enough for most to notice. over time, she started loosing touch with the real world and covered it up by drinking. I stuck it out hoping to get her to a therapist and on meds but that never happened. it went from mostly good with a little bad to some good and bad then to almost always bad. if she was going to die from health issues, I would of been there until the end but the mental is way different.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 31
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/9/2018 6:57:41 PM
"Good grief Purplerider...…………………..I'm thinkn' you need to readjust your picker!"

I adjusted it to- "Don't. Just Don't"
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 32
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/11/2018 7:27:21 PM

they do say that crazy women are the best in bed!


That has been my experience. I have to really fight the urge...
Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/14/2018 2:34:45 PM
Depends on the chronic illness. If it were diabetes or high blood pressure, or along those lines, I would probably be ok with that, if they were managing it and taking their meds or whatever. Other chronic illnesses not so much, I have one myself, fairly rare. I need all my determination to keep it at bay. I can't share that determination with someone else, so I would be of no help to them. I also think, dating someone else who has a chronic illness, you would eventually pull each other down. Depending on the illness of course.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 34
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/14/2018 9:40:36 PM
According to the CDC :

"Half of all Americans live with at least one chronic disease, like heart disease, cancer, stroke, or diabetes."
 Seahorse_Jockey
Joined: 8/24/2018
Msg: 35
Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/15/2018 7:16:52 AM
The CDC probably also say 100% of Americans eventually die. What exactly do they mean? Does that mean, right at this moment, half of all Americans have one or more of these medical conditions? I find that hard to believe, unless we're talking about only nursing homes, where eventually, everybody gets an ailment that puts them closer to death's doorstep.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 36
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/15/2018 8:13:08 AM
at 54, everyone I know of similar age has something medical. I had a stroke at 37, does that take me off the list of many? what about arthritis? that limits me more than many with more severe conditions. I think a more important question would be what would you do if someone had issues develop after dating a while.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 37
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/15/2018 6:42:25 PM
I agree, Sienna. Let HIV+ folks date those who are also HIV+. This is not a judgment on them, it's just that it would not be my dating choice. What is really said is that innocent babies can be born HIV+ through no fault of their own, and have to live with that diagnosis for a life time.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 38
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/16/2018 6:46:30 AM
"Use Your Words Carefully: What Is a Chronic Disease?"

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4969287/
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 39
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/18/2018 4:20:23 AM
No it's not a deal breaker for some others it is they think their going to live perfectly happy lives their entire life. Was that way once before I was 15 then reality struck, if it was a deal breaker I wouldn't have 2 kids so chalk it up to personal experience.
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 40
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 9/21/2018 8:12:21 PM
Moraima -- You are right on. A lovely lady I worked with in the past weighed about 100 pounds (maybe), and had an insulin pump implanted to control her diabetes. She (lives) a very active life, has been married for decades, retired from her career, and has children and grandchildren. Diabetes runs on both sides of her family, and none of her relatives are overweight.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 41
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 10/6/2018 9:09:33 AM
There is a dating app specifically made for people with chronic illnesses

https://www.lemonaydeapp.com/
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 42
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 10/11/2018 5:34:26 AM

I get tired of the uneducated who spout that people with high blood pressure would not have it if they were not overweight.


Thank you.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 43
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No, not for me.
Posted: 10/11/2018 5:47:11 AM

I agree, Sienna. Let HIV+ folks date those who are also HIV+. This is not a judgment on them, it's just that it would not be my dating choice.


I dated an HIV+ positive man and I'm not HIV+. I don't have HIV, even after dating him. (We stopped dating for normal reasons - nothing to do with HIV.)


What is really said is that innocent babies can be born HIV+ through no fault of their own, and have to live with that diagnosis for a life time.


I don't understand the relevancy of this to the dating topic? With very rare exceptions, people aren't looking to get infected.

Babies who are infected, are infected because the virus doesn't discriminate between innocent and guilty people and the transmission between a mother and baby through childbirth is optimal. If she were denied drugs while she's HIV positive, that isn't her fault, either. Studies have shows that the transmission rate of this situation is reduced by good medication and safe birthing practices which aren';t always afforded to must vulnerable HIV+ expectant mothers in the world. Are the guilty for being poor?

Whether it's sex or intravenous drugs, being deliberately pricked with an infect needle, revenge ****ed, multiple partners, a promiscuous person who has Bi-Polar disease, one partner who got it from their side piece, whatever and whomever, the disease just doesn't care.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 44
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 10/11/2018 8:05:41 AM
As long as the chronic illness wasn't contagious, I would consider it, depending upon what it was. I dated a man with prostate cancer for a few years.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 45
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 10/11/2018 3:48:30 PM
pretty broad sweeping term, "chronic illness" ... I was diagnosed in the second grade at the age of seven with supraventricular tachycardia ... despite the warning that I could die at any time, I managed to live a life full of fun, love and adventures! the list of "chronic illnesses" has now grown to include asthma among others ... I'm still me ... I still laugh, have fun, would like to find someone to spend time with ...
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 46
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 10/12/2018 4:33:31 PM
It's an interesting question and one that I think depends on the type of illness and each partner's long-term needs. A youngish woman I know is just ending her treatments for breast cancer. She is engaged to a man who has a child but doesn't have much access to the child (I am told this is due to the mother, but that is only one side of the story). The woman concluding her treatments now may not be able to have children because of the treatments. There is also a slightly elevated risk of future cancers. Should he stay? I would hope so. But whether he will depends on a lot of other factors.

If the chronic illness impacts activities that one's partners deems very important, I guess it would likely not be a match made to last.

If the long-term illness is something that means the partner would have to assume a major caregiving role, that could really weigh on a person.

I would think that the answer to this would largely depend on how long the couple was together prior to the chronic illness developing, although I have known of people together for long periods of time who either left their partner or started "seeking the comfort of others" following the diagnosis of a long-term illness.
 DawnNuSun
Joined: 10/29/2018
Msg: 47
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 11/8/2018 11:05:24 AM
Most people in my age category have one or more chronic conditions. I think it would depend on how those conditions would affect their ability to match my energy level. I am active, and for dating, I look for that in whoever I date. I would not become involved with anyone if they had something that was contagious. As far as revealing health conditions, if it seemed that dating was on the path of leading to a more serious relationship, I think all should be revealed. Their conditions would probably eventually become apparent at some point anyway. Best to put it all out there.
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 48
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 11/9/2018 6:26:20 AM
Most chronic-treatable managed illnesses fine-one chronic untreatable mental handicap that could never work for me is prejudice-discrimination-stereotypes- there is no treatment available and generally uncorrectable-i leave that pile of dung for others
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 49
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 11/9/2018 9:12:41 AM
"...prejudice-discrimination-stereotypes- there is no treatment available"

The sad part is these mental conditions are taught behaviors. Nobody is born with these hatreds and traits. But if someone is brought up in a household and hang around people who have those views, that is the "normal" for young impressionable minds. Some people are able to snap out that mental state when they're older and go off on their own, and realize that who they were taught to hate is unjustified, as well as the stereotypes.

Whenever I see news of racists' rallies, or when people cheer Trump when he insults a certain race or specific people, I'm thinking: Don't they realize that they are training their kids to be filled with just as much hatred and anger as the parents? How is that a good thing for kids? And yet, a lot of these people consider themselves to be religious/Christian, and go to a church where they are told to be nice to others, regardless of who they are . I guess they consider that part as religious humor.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 50
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Chronic Illness? A deal breaker or not?
Posted: 11/9/2018 9:21:56 AM
anytime you bring racism or prejudice into the spotlight, your promoting it! a lengthy thread without a word of it until the last 2 posts and BAM, lets create an issue and cry fowl! want to end prejudice? then just stop it!
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