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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 51
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Do you care what a person does for work?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

I've had many women look down their noses at my line of work. I've been a building contractor all of my life. Most, I believe, think that I spend a lot of my time looking for work.

I've never heard of gals scoffing at a guy who's a building contractor. The only way I could realistically see that happening is if they're assuming that he's exaggerating his job by how he looks ("Ummm, I think he's just trying to make what he does sound more important; I mean, look at him; he probably is just a roofer").
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 52
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/20/2018 4:04:06 PM
{I've never heard of gals scoffing at a guy who's a building contractor. The only way I could realistically see that happening is if they're assuming that he's exaggerating his job by how he looks ("Ummm, I think he's just trying to make what he does sound more important; I mean, look at him; he probably is just a roofer"). }///// but that's just what happens! as a mason contractor, I have no suit and tie, I wear work boots, jeans and t shirt. on a good day, I leave with mortar dust on my clothes, bad days are much worse! people (not just women) assume I was hired as day labor because mcdonalds would not hire me. a shower and clean clothes does not remove the stereotype, contractor=loser that couldn't do anything else.
 L_LuuLuu
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 53
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/20/2018 4:43:56 PM
^^^^^^^
So true.

Besides, DINNO

People lie about all kinds of things all the time. But, in most cases, it wouldn't take a smart person long to figure out if their S/O was a crook.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 54
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/21/2018 11:50:09 AM
Everyone who says they do not care what someone does for a living can you please tell me when was the last time you dated someone who worked at McDonald's or any other fast food restaurant? Or when was your last date with a worker at the Dollar Store, Dollar General or Walmart? Let's be real Male or Female when was the last time you dated one of these people?
And if you have not then why?
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 55
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/21/2018 3:12:04 PM
I care.

Not being in work that compares to what I did equals.............



Can not afford to be away 6 months a year to be a snowbird.

Can not afford to pay their half of the lifestyle I have.

Do not have the same mind set that I have to get ahead financially.

Do not feel comfortable with people like me.

Etc. etc. etc.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 56
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/21/2018 5:41:16 PM
I'm wicked old. I have my own money, so no, I don't care what someone does as long as they do something. Lots of people in my age group are retired. I do agree if I were younger and looking to start a family or buy a house, it may be more important to me.
 dinno76
Joined: 7/13/2018
Msg: 57
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/21/2018 6:00:50 PM
Very few women will date a man that makes less money than them. Not too many women lining up to date a man that works at Wal Mart or McDonald's unless they also work at those places.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 58
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/21/2018 9:27:37 PM

Everyone who says they do not care what someone does for a living can you please tell me when was the last time you dated someone who worked at McDonald's or any other fast food restaurant? Or when was your last date with a worker at the Dollar Store, Dollar General or Walmart? Let's be real Male or Female when was the last time you dated one of these people?
And if you have not then why?

Depends on their job description. I knew someone that worked her way up to being a shift manager at Walmart. By then, she made enough money to make ends meet.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 59
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/21/2018 10:24:13 PM

a shower and clean clothes does not remove the stereotype, contractor=loser that couldn't do anything else.

If you removed the stereotype of being in dusty work boots & jeans & t-shirt, just coming off-site... then I don't see how the stereotype sticks. Now, granted, if a guy shows up after showering, still in dirty work boots + jeans + t-shirt to a bar/restaurant, I can still see a gal not taking too liking to it... as opposed to non-work shoes, jeans, and a button-down (nothing fancy required). I say that because I think a lot of gals, even if told you're a contractor -- not a mere worker -- it's not that she wouldn't believe you per se, but I think the focal point would be "He must not make much since he's in the blue collar industry + dressed like any 'ol worker". Not that logic/rationale plays into it... but hey, who said girls weren't into looks, right? :)
 zsuzsa62
Joined: 1/31/2016
Msg: 60
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 7:08:48 AM
"Everyone who says they do not care what someone does for a living can you please tell me when was the last time you dated someone who worked at McDonald's or any other fast food restaurant? Or when was your last date with a worker at the Dollar Store, Dollar General or Walmart? Let's be real Male or Female when was the last time you dated one of these people?
And if you have not then why?"

I said I didn't care and the last time I dated "one of those people" was about a year ago, when I was dating. My girlfriend married "one of those people" and he is still a "worker" at the same loading job. She still makes a whole lot more than he does and they seem happily and long-term married. So, it can work. Lots of exceptions to all this stuff about leagues and alphas etc. Especially IRL.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 61
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 7:51:11 AM
'mere worker' IS my point! 'blue collar' in itself is looked down at more so than years ago, the construction industry is at the bottom. a skilled tradesman and a laborer are both viewed as mere workers, a job anyone can do but nobody wants. being a contractor (the business owner) is viewed by some as a handyman picking up odd jobs rather than getting a real job. I get that someone well above my social class may not care to acknowledge but this carries threw to all the other 'mere workers' where it is low pay, no skill and anyone could get that job.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 62
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 9:58:47 AM
I do hate repeating myself. But I have too. OF All The people (Male and Female) who do not care what the other person does for a living WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DATED someone who makes 7.25 an hour? That is a job at WALMART (EXCUSE Me they just gave everyone a raise but you get the idea) McDonalds, The clerk at the gas station or the people who wash your car, cut lawns and waitress at the local Denny's, Waffle House, or all the other working poor.
I am sorry but I am reading a lot of theory (I could, I would, I might) let's see some facts (I did) to put behind it. I am not hating I am just saying that people are talking out the side of their necks like the old folks say.

There is a certain class of people you will not date and I totally get that. Marriages are more likely to fail when they cross class lines rather than the crossing of racial lines. Class is so important but we like to pretend it is not. Now I need to hear all about the men and women who have crossed those class lines. YOU have worked hard to accomplish your goals and you want someone in your life who has done the same thing. What is wrong with that?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 63
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 10:23:57 AM
I have definitely crossed racial lines and I may have crossed class lines, too. I've dated my share of women on welfare.

I don't have any issue with dating somebody who works in a retail/service type of job. At least they're doing a legitimate job.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 64
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 10:41:22 AM
thank you for your honesty JuJu. a lot of people want to pretend that differences in socioeconomic status, class, race and religion don't matter and LOVE CONQUERS ALL. It may not matter if you're just looking to get some quick sex, or "casually dating" but if you're looking to settle down and build a life/family with a person, then hell yes, those differences will matter more. I'd expect that idealistic attitude more in young people (my age or younger) but not people of retirement age who've experienced way more life. I like Boo's post too:


I'm wicked old. I have my own money, so no, I don't care what someone does as long as they do something. Lots of people in my age group are retired. I do agree if I were younger and looking to start a family or buy a house, it may be more important to me.


I made mention of that ^^^ in my initial post (post #4). It boils down to what your priorities are and that should reflect what you seek in a partner.

Last time I dated someone who made minimum wage was when I was making minimum wage. This was my 2nd ever job back in 2004. I was 17 & making $6.75/hour at the now-defunct Mervyns. We met at work. At 17 I wasn't thinking of anything except passing my classes, MySpace and going to the movies every Friday night. If a cute guy thought I was cute too, then that was the clincher for me...whether he made minimum wage, was unemployed or whatever.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 65
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 10:47:05 AM

I am sorry but I am reading a lot of theory (I could, I would, I might) let's see some facts (I did) to put behind it. I am not hating I am just saying that people are talking out the side of their necks like the old folks say.


Well, I dated (after my divorce) a guy who was a handyman at a trailer park.
But I agree with you. People who are looking to get married and have a family are probably going to be looking
for more. When I got married (48 years ago) it was different. I had an office job (that I left to move) and my ex at
the time was a landscaper. He was drafted and we ended up moving and I worked in retail.

But things are different now.
And like I said, I think older people who are retired, who have funds coming in or have money, are more likely to
overlook someone's menial job.

I do believe there are some people who will not let class or monetary issues hinder their love life, but I'm not sure there
are a lot of people online that feel like that. People usually don't want to lose what they have and they'd rather date up
and than down.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 66
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 12:44:09 PM

being a contractor (the business owner) is viewed by some as a handyman picking up odd jobs rather than getting a real job.

It can be, I guess. Combine that with the importance of what he Seems like (looks; affected by how he's done up) -- and they can go one way or the other. "I run a contracting business," would probably be best put -- and the avoidance of tshirts, but instead button-downs, IMO, would "quiet the assumptive crowd".

Marriages are more likely to fail when they cross class lines rather than the crossing of racial lines. Class is so important but we like to pretend it is not.

Well, we're not talking about marriages really, but more like Datability. When in an LTR, it's financial problems that cause the issues -- not one making more than the other. It'd be more like two people working at the Walmart cash register. Or one who does, and the other who has a career-job, but nothing fancy, but still the total financials VS spending altogether are struggling. CLASS difference, where one makes great $$ while the other doesn't have a great job but does work -- that's not a source of conflict if already in an LTR. Finances are fine.

I think it's when there's an impression Or truly realized that one person is WAY below the other, turning things into true Dating screeches to a halt. Not Much of a difference if the gal is above the guy -- but a Big Difference is required for a guy, but if the gal is otherwise out of his league, he's usually game.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 67
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 1:29:41 PM
A trade job is great. They're typically not boring with always doing something new. You get exercise. You can wear casual clothes. You can work for yourself. You can make a lot of money. I wouldn't care if a guy got dirty at his job.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 68
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 1:36:26 PM
^^^ Agreed, NY. I like dating tradesmen.
 zsuzsa62
Joined: 1/31/2016
Msg: 69
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 2:24:48 PM
"I am sorry but I am reading a lot of theory (I could, I would, I might) let's see some facts (I did) to put behind it. I am not hating I am just saying that people are talking out the side of their necks like the old folks say. "

I did... about a year ago. He loaded shelves, minimum wage.

"YOU have worked hard to accomplish your goals and you want someone in your life who has done the same thing. What is wrong with that?"

Nothing wrong with that. It's just not everyone else's priority and we don't all have the same goals.
 dark_n_juju
Joined: 8/30/2017
Msg: 70
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 2:28:24 PM
I know this sounds a little crazy but what a man does for a living is a major deal in my family. It was very important. Just like where you went to university and who your family is. No man is an island. We are all surrounded by family, friends and co-workers and they will judge who this man is. They judge his looks, his job title., his income, his degree and where he got it. Whether his family is the first generation college graduate or not. And yes his race. All of this is the sum of who they will think he is and how easy they make our lives together.
We did the same with all the men and even worse with the women people are dating in the family. One man on my husband side of the family required the woman to save 10K before he would ask her to marry him. I have dated and married men who have required me to give up jobs and friends they were not comfortable with.
I am well aware that even dating a man he will demand you compromise and I am very selective about the compromises I do now.
So yes his job matters. Yes, his interests matters. Yes, his education matters. Yes, his criminal record matters. Yes, this all makes up the sum of who he is. And I know all these things matter when it comes to me. I am just keeping it 100 as the young folks say.
I was really hoping yall will keep it real. Plus I have NO intention of my new love being LESS than my ex. He needs to feel jealous and like I didn't lose anything when we broke up. NOW that is very personal and very petty but it is keeping it real.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 71
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 2:48:27 PM

Everyone who says they do not care what someone does for a living can you please tell me when was the last time you dated someone who worked at McDonald's or any other fast food restaurant? Or when was your last date with a worker at the Dollar Store, Dollar General or Walmart? Let's be real Male or Female when was the last time you dated one of these people?


Does a bus driver count? That was my last date.
Unless you count a coffee meet as a date, then it would be a building contractor.
 zsuzsa62
Joined: 1/31/2016
Msg: 72
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 2:54:30 PM
My experiences are real.

Your real sounds very complicated.

Most of those things don't matter to me...creating jealousy, what others think etc. and I wouldn't date a man that demanded anything. Although I think compromise would always be necessary, to some extent.
 mikeparkin2
Joined: 7/25/2016
Msg: 73
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 4:21:11 PM
Sounds like a social climber to me.

My profile used to say medical.
For some reason a woman became obsessed with me because she thought I was a doctor !
Once I realised what was going on I told I was indeed just a male nurse.
I didn't see her for the dust.

However, I can see where she is coming from. Nothing worse than being with someone who has nothing and they want to share it with you !
But if you sincerely care for someone you will stay with them through better or worse.
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 74
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/22/2018 8:26:56 PM

I do hate repeating myself. But I have too. OF All The people (Male and Female) who do not care what the other person does for a living WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DATED someone who makes 7.25 an hour? That is a job at WALMART (EXCUSE Me they just gave everyone a raise but you get the idea) McDonalds, The clerk at the gas station or the people who wash your car, cut lawns and waitress at the local Denny's, Waffle House, or all the other working poor.


Like I said earlier, as long he makes enough money to support himself. I have dated men that had relatively low paying jobs. They were frugal and had a modest lifestyle.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 75
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 12:20:08 AM
I understand that women like to date up.

But there are more important things to worry about than money when choosing a mate.
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