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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 76
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Do you care what a person does for work?Page 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I find it all rather insulting to make statements like people are looking for perfection, they look for what they want, if some people don't fit, why say bad things about them? When someone isn't looking for you, it is no different than all the people we reject. Just move on without throwing them under the bus.
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 4:43:06 AM

thank you for your honesty JuJu. a lot of people want to pretend that differences in socioeconomic status, class, race and religion don't matter and LOVE CONQUERS ALL. It may not matter if you're just looking to get some quick sex, or "casually dating" but if you're looking to settle down and build a life/family with a person, then hell yes, those differences will matter more. I'd expect that idealistic attitude more in young people (my age or younger) but not people of retirement age who've experienced way more life.


Of course you know I'm a fan of your smarts, young lady.

For me, I imagine it's the sum of a person's life experiences that makes them emotionally and intellectually interesting.

Me, I was in a high paid position, the rat race, so to speak most of my adult life. Then came divorce and retirement. Now I supplement my income with some construction side jobs. Lucky me, I have a nice woman and am in a serious relationship, but she did admit if all I ever did was construction side jobs in my life time, she would have passed on me. She said the fact that there was intellectual capacity associated with my previous work is what piqued her interest in me.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 78
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 8:09:15 AM
most of the women I dated made less than me. it was rarely the financial aspect that became a concern, it was the lack of ambition. I have always gone the extra mile to reach my goals, in my business, building my home or any project I may be working on. getting past financial and social class, I am more concerned as to how they play the cards their dealt.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 79
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 9:50:26 AM

I do hate repeating myself. But I have too. OF All The people (Male and Female) who do not care what the other person does for a living WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU DATED someone who makes 7.25 an hour? That is a job at WALMART (EXCUSE Me they just gave everyone a raise but you get the idea) McDonalds, The clerk at the gas station or the people who wash your car, cut lawns and waitress at the local Denny's, Waffle House, or all the other working poor.

As mentioned upthread, not everyone working at Walmart or a restaurant is literally making minimum wage. Many people could also be working at these places as a temporary job because they lost a job in their primary field or a part time second job to make ends meet. Working at Walmart or at Denny's is not an automatic dealbreaker for me because there are too many possible variables to form an immediate assessment.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 80
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 10:18:49 AM
I don't mind so much what a person does, but care what they make. I need someone that can afford to travel with me, whether it's abroad, around the US or WA state. I enjoy free stuff, but even that comes with a cost for gas, entry fees and eating out when you're out and about.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 81
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 11:35:31 AM

I need someone that can afford to travel with me, whether it's abroad, around the US or WA state.


Translation: Afford to pay your share, too. Right?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 82
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 1:19:19 PM
Did I say that? The trips I go on would be most times cost prohibitive for a guy to even offer to treat me. If he could afford to join me, that's good enough. I've taken myself on vacation before. I don't need financial assistance.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 83
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 2:57:30 PM

A trade job is great. They're typically not boring with always doing something new. You get exercise. You can wear casual clothes. You can work for yourself. You can make a lot of money. I wouldn't care if a guy got dirty at his job.

I agree with a lot of what you say, but having your own job doesn't equal making good dough at all, so it's not an "auto in". But worth inquiring about. That said, some gals will assume-the-worst when it comes to, bleh, "men" due to bad "luck" they've had. So they could have your exact POV about guys they Already Know -- but not to strangers.


"YOU have worked hard to accomplish your goals and you want someone in your life who has done the same thing. What is wrong with that?"
Nothing wrong with that. It's just not everyone else's priority and we don't all have the same goals.

I will say though that you're a rare find as a lady (in an obvious good way). Although not all women are to the uber-uptight extreme, not many are on your positive level either. :)

I know this sounds a little crazy but what a man does for a living is a major deal in my family. It was very important. Just like where you went to university and who your family is. No man is an island. We are all surrounded by family, friends and co-workers and they will judge who this man is. They judge his looks, his job title., his income, his degree and where he got it.

I think technically everyone Looks at it when sizing one up, but being so into it -- that's not wise. And for me, and others, you don't let your peers decide who's good and who's not for yourself. Nor do you let someone you're Dating do the same either. Obvious exceptions are when either party is giving you Objectively Good advice -- like staying away from danger, of course. :)

most of the women I dated made less than me. it was rarely the financial aspect that became a concern, it was the lack of ambition.

I think how that usually is. The gal will make less or ~equal if working the same type of cookie-cutter job for roughly the same amt of time (ex: high school teacher). I agree that the issue isn't that the lady isn't making "enough" money, but it's whether she's lacking basic-level ambition in life when it comes to work, etc. that's a killer. More about the reason Why she may not be making much money, not the mere fact that she doesn't have much independent income.

I don't mind so much what a person does, but care what they make. I need someone that can afford to travel with me, whether it's abroad, around the US or WA state.

Well, people can make a lot of $$ compared to your average Joe but be in mountains of debt and/or not live far off from paycheck to paycheck. It's the 'Merican way. It's about both income & spending.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 84
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/23/2018 6:08:05 PM
I only care that they do work and are not on Disability.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 85
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 8:15:03 AM
Some very interesting comments here. One woman, who talks about “keeping it real”, I don’t think I would want to meet her. But I’m sure there are others who agree with her.

This is America, it is not the old world. You are not born into a “social class”, and stuck at that level for all of your life. My ex-wife was a clerical worker when I met her. 20 years later, she was a manager, making beau coup bucks. My oldest nephew has been married for 25 years to a woman who started working at WalMart as a cashier, and is now a store manager. And that pays some real money, let me tell you.

In general, women want to date up much more so than men. That is, until the woman reaches a fairly high level, realizes there are very few people (men or women) at the same level, and starts re-adjusting her attitudes towards dating and romance. I have dated several women who make significantly more money than I make. It’s usually not a problem. If they worked to achieve what they have, then they appreciate the value of hard work, and they get along with almost anyone who does have a career and works hard at it.

Women, amend that, people who are born into wealth and have never learned to appreciate the value of hard work, that is a different story altogether.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 86
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 10:13:29 AM
That's simply not true that people born into wealth don't value hard work. In NY, I worked with many children of multi-millionaires that were hard working. Sometimes their status gets them the job, but they come from the best colleges and work hard.

True, you can get a 6 figure income by working your way up in retail.
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 10:41:46 AM
"some very interesting comments here. One woman, who talks about “keeping it real”, I don’t think I would want to meet her. But I’m sure there are others who agree with her."

I get what you are saying Henry, but do you need to throw that neg in your post after just posting in the nasty messages thread? Friend, when we throw out negative energy, we get it back ten fold. The Lady has her little "vernacular" and I for one find it quite charming. In fact I find Miss Juju to be quite a delight.


"In general, women want to date up much more so than men." Nothing wrong with that some ladies have that ingrained into them. Heck the ex wife had me suffer through "Pride and Prejudice" with her. I hate to admit, but I landed up liking it!
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 88
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 10:54:29 AM
^^^^ Henry frowns upon women with self respect and that have requirements from men, because they would not want a guy like him. To not be liked by Henry is a high compliment.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 89
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 11:22:46 AM
LOL, I am liked by Henry and that's just fine by me!

Hmmmmm………….. in fact I would venture a guess. Henry is not the only one who likes me. Not everyone likes me of course, but I refrain from slinging insults. Have a nice day!
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 90
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 11:28:50 AM
I don't think this is the same as caring what someone does but I do care about what they make, although likely in the opposite direction than one might assume. There are many men around here who make what I consider to be a lot of money. I would not be comfortable dating them because I don't make a lot of money and would not be able to participate in everything they would want to. Most people I know golf regularly, belong to a gym, attend expensive sporting events and concerts, travel abroad twice a year, and think nothing of eating out often (not take-out restaurants). Everyone owns a vehicle and not just old clunkers. I'm not sure I'd like to live that way but it doesn't matter because I can't. Trying to meet someone happy with free events and activities around here just doesn't seem to be in the cards. The other problem is finding someone who isn't retired or semi-retired. I don't just work full time, I have to work extra free hours just to keep my head above water. As I'm nearly 53, the age range interested in my age are older and lots of folks here retire at 55. So our availability is at different ends of the spectrum.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 91
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 11:35:44 AM

^^^^ Henry frowns upon women with self respect and that have requirements from men, because they would not want a guy like him. To not be liked by Henry is a high compliment.


Your eyes must be brown...


Henry is not the only one who likes me.


Correct...
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 92
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 11:43:11 AM
I like you, LiR.
I like Henry, too. Just not all of his opinions.
But, hey, I don't like all of my opinions all the time either so I can't really quibble.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 93
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 11:49:27 AM
LIR, if Henry likes you, he views you as a person that has sex right away. That's the only value he places on women, so enjoy! It has no bearing on whether nicer people like you for other reasons, I'm not doubting that.

Coold, you're going to say you don't see a correlation between who has sex right away with men and who Henry likes? You can pull a Stevie Wonder on yourself, but not on me. My eyes are a beautiful hazel color☺ They work really well with distinguishing between reality and fantasy.
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 12:31:55 PM
NYer, I like you very much.

I don't see you as insulting people, more of a speak your mind lady you are.

And that's fine with me.

I think Henry likes to have fun and wants women who like to play as much as he does. Plenty of them to go around, so no need for any of us to get ornery.

I've seen some in here go too far and get carried away then the cycle of nasty begins.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 95
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 12:38:11 PM
Henry is an adult, going after adults, so no harm, no foul, unless he's leading them on, but I don't like how he only values women to have sex with them. Women are more valuable than their undercarriage☺

Yes, nastiness gets out of control here.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 96
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 2:52:31 PM

but I don't like how he only values women to have sex with them.

YOU are the one saying that....He, nor anyone else besides your Blondie friend you jumped on the bandwagon with....agree with that sentiment.
You want to make assumptions based on comments taken out of context....and that makes you the undesirable one...not him!!

and Henry has never once said LIR, or myself, or women like us that have a different view than you have no value.


Yes, nastiness gets out of control here..

and you take every opportunity you get to be nasty to Henry and anyone else that you have a personal issue with....
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 97
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/25/2018 2:57:35 PM
msg#88:
^^^^ Henry frowns upon women with self respect and that have requirements from men, because they would not want a guy like him. To not be liked by Henry is a high compliment.


I don't understand your rancor towards ohenryx. He seems like a nice man to me. Probably lots of fun in social settings. Likes to dance, engages with people....what's not to love!?!
(Smile)
 mgotd
Joined: 8/20/2018
Msg: 98
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/30/2018 8:59:29 AM
Everybody is different, but if women are brought up in upper middle class households, they are almost always going to be interested only in guys whom they consider comparable to themselves in education, ambition and job prospects.

That being said, living sixty plus years now, and having grown up in an upper middle class home, and going to a school system with very successful graduates, and still knowing lots of women from my high-school days... this is my observation....

1) Women who married successful guys were not necessarily happy...lots of them ended up divorced.
2) Women who are still married to successful guys are not necessarily happy even though they have second homes in the Hamptons or at the Shore.

I still see the same story playing out among my nieces....all college graduates...dumping guys who dearly love them but whom they do not believe ambitious enough or successful enough for them, replacing them with young, hard working professionals. Will they be happier in the end? Probably not.

I am assuming that many women who made the mistake of dumping guys when they were younger and instead marrying for success may someday greatly regret their decisions...... but women are women and they are always going to strive to marry the Alpha male...in our society that means the most professionally successful males, or at least those with the potential for success. Its part of their DNA.

And truthfully...how many educated women are going to be happy married to a guy who stocks shelves for a living if that guy has limited interests, curiosities or passions about the outside world?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 99
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Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/30/2018 9:39:08 AM
Clyte, one example is Henry suggesting that Bombay use a sex site to make some std ridden guy happy, as a means of finding a relationship. That's disgusting! He's desperate for sex so that's what he does, and would like to see more women devalue themselves for his pleasure.

Mgotd, successful men are attractive. Being successful doesn't necessarily mean the guy is a very high wage earner. While my ex-b didn't have a house in the Hamptons, we still enjoyed going there by renting a house out with friends. Successful is knowing what you want and making that happen.
 tholianatat
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 100
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 8/30/2018 10:30:39 AM
Exactly..successful men equal alpha Male. It is a badge of honor for a woman to marry a successful guy.
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