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 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 226
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Not looking for hookups anymorePage 10 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
Spare me the personal attacks.
What I said is true, sometimes the truth hurts.
Also I'm not on any medication because it didn't agree with me, not that its your business.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 227
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/6/2018 10:16:33 AM

People who don't want hookups are better quality than those who do.
People who want hookups usually have some sort of hang ups or are emotionally unavailable.


Very broad generalization and stereotype. Some people may have casual sex and/or FWBs for the following reasons.

1. Some people may have recently ended a relationship or marriage and aren't interested in having serious relationship right away.
2. Some people may not have time or energy for a relationship because of other things going on in their life.
3. Two people may like each other. But may not want a serious relationship with each other because of certain differences in beliefs or lifestyles.
4. Last but not least. Some people can simply enjoy sex for what it is without being a relationship.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 228
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/6/2018 10:29:05 AM
So in other words hang ups or emotionally unavailable. We are talking people who seek it, not people who do it but find they are incompatible and that is why they stay fwb etc. That is completely different.
People that want a relationship and end up fwb or having casual sex with said person and no relationship purely because of incompatibility aren't lower quality unless they keep doing it long term. Creates huge issues with finding an actual relationship. Of course none of this matters if the person has hang ups and/or is emotionally unavailable. Relationship is not a goal for quite a few but they can by proxy end up wasting people who are serious' time by being dishonest and trying to seek sex with uninterested parties.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 229
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/6/2018 1:03:01 PM

Relationship is not a goal for quite a few but they can by proxy end up wasting people who are serious' time by being dishonest and trying to seek sex with uninterested parties.

Yes people should be honest about their true intentions. But that is a different topic. The point remains don't label and generalize people as having emotional / mental hangups because they have a different viewpoint about having sex outside of a serious relationship. Casual sex and/or FWBs can simply satisfy what they are looking for at this stage of their life. Maybe 6 months or a year later, the circumstances can be different.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 230
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/6/2018 8:36:14 PM

Spare me the personal attacks.
What I said is true, sometimes the truth hurts.


So it's okay for you to slam a whole group of people with your personal opinions....
but not ok for me to point out YOUR truths...
Grow up...
and realize some people make different choices than you....and it doesn't make them any more emotionally damaged than you.
You do nothing but **** and moan about all your emotional and psychological issues....all the pills you take....
how your family treats you.... and have the audicity to say someone else has "hangups"......frikken laughable....
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 231
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/6/2018 9:43:51 PM
Well your "truths" were incorrect since I'm not on meds, so if you are going to point out truths atleast get them right.
I can slam whoever I want.
It was more a general statement and it is true.
Seeking casual sex = hang ups or some sort of issues. It's the truth, don't shoot the messenger lol.

people who engaged in more hookups had greater psychological distress. College students who recently engaged in casual sex reported lower levels of self-esteem, life-satisfaction, and happiness compared to those who had not have casual sex in the past month. And students who recently engaged in hookups had higher distress scores as indicated by levels of depression and anxiety. In contrast to the notion that men are okay with casual sex but women are not, we did not find gender differences in the relationships between casual sex and either distress or well-being. For both men and women, true hookup sex—with a casual stranger rather than a romantic partner or “friend with benefits"—seemed to bode poorly for mental health and self-esteem
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 232
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 6:43:03 AM

I've only started to notice this is the past couple of years, but loads of women are stating that they aren't looking for hookups anymore, that they had one night stands when they were young but now want a relationship.


There was a scene from the movie Monster ( with Charlize Theron) where the main character decides she doesn't want to be a low rent prostitute anymore. So she decides to apply for a job at a law firm where she is woefully under qualified. The interviewer, seeing her dismal resume says something to the affect of , " You did nothing but party your whole life and now that the beach party is over, you want what we worked our whole lives for." I think that applies here.

I typically see the "Not looking for hook-ups" almost exclusively of profiles of women in their 30's and 40's. It almost always coincides with how badly the woman is doing in her life. Childless women with good jobs and their act together rarely have this in their profiles. What these women are conveying by not wanting hook-ups is that they've made bad decisions in their lives, now they need a man to bail them out. Not establishing a career, having a kids with a loser and mountains of debt in their care-free earlier years, these women now hit the dating scene in search of an exclusive John to lighten their daily work load and bring in a secondary income to make things right. The "not looking for hook-ups" is a alert statement in such that she doesn't have time to play around, shes on the search for resources and she needs them ASAP.

You'll commonly see other catch phrases with these profiles;

"I've had my fun"
"No time for games"
"I know what I want"
"Looking for something real"
"Looking for a Real Man™, boys not apply"
"Where are all the good guys?"


I want what most people want, to be wanted by someone that I want. But I keep going over it in my head and I truly don't believe I will find anyone and I know I won't settle for lacklustre.


The reason single moms like yourself can't find good guys is that from the perception of the "good guy" is that you are lackluster. This is the reason women like yourself claim "Where are all the good guys ?" is because the good guys see you as flings along, the juice isn't worth the squeeze as far as relationships since you don't much to the table.

What you need to understand is that the male equivalent of a single mom of 3 kids, that lives with her mom and has a mountain of debt, is a alcoholic guy that is getting his $10 paycheck garnished for 2 child support payments. Not trying to be cruel but I think alot of people over value themselves.

Remember, those good guys were putting extra hours in working or studying while you were living the beach party lifestyle, popping those kids out with the cool guy and going on spending extravaganzas.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 233
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 7:12:10 AM
I have seen multiple studies about casual sex and low self esteem. The results were a mixed bag depending on multiple factors. Including whether there was drinking and drugs involved, the quality of sex, whether one person was hoping for an eventual relationship etc. A person that has casual sex when they are sober, not interested in a potential future relationship with the other person etc is less likely to have low self esteem and regret it.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 234
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 8:54:08 AM

What you need to understand is that the male equivalent of a single mom of 3 kids, that lives with her mom and has a mountain of debt, is a alcoholic guy that is getting his $10 paycheck garnished for 2 child support payments. Not trying to be cruel but I think alot of people over value themselves.

Remember, those good guys were putting extra hours in working or studying while you were living the beach party lifestyle, popping those kids out with the cool guy and going on spending extravaganzas


Spending extravaganzas? Popping pills? Seriously, is that what you think single moms are like? I personally have been gainfully employed since I was 16, I have 7 years of university under my belt and a good job and I've always been good with my money. Yes, I live with my mom which isn't a perfect situation and have financial poblems but its not forever.

You think I, as a single mother of 3 kids, overvalue myself because I want better for myself. You look down on me but the joke is on you. You and many guys like you are single and getting older, still looking for that childless woman with her shit together but unfortunately for you, every year the amount of available women in your age group in this category gets to be fewer and fewer. Many of the single moms do find relationships while the self-described "nice guys" continue to hold out while getting older.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 235
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 10:34:37 AM

You think I, as a single mother of 3 kids, overvalue myself because I want better for myself. You look down on me but the joke is on you. You and many guys like you are single and getting older, still looking for that childless woman with her shit together but unfortunately for you, every year the amount of available women in your age group in this category gets to be fewer and fewer. Many of the single moms do find relationships while the self-described "nice guys" continue to hold out while getting older.


Dear, you are conflating "single mom" with "women with kids". Yes, most women my age do have kids and I do date them. The ones I date are called "divorced moms". The reason is, in contrast to single moms, divorced moms generally;

1. Have the father (ex-husband) consistently in their children's lives. In many cases 1/2 custody. This allows the mom's time away from the kids. This is the only way to even build a relationship with a woman.
2. Better behaved kids ( see #1)
3. Are on generally good financial footing ( see #1) ( alimony, divorce asset acquisition, consistent child support).
4. The woman is less stressed and in better physical shape.
5. Isn't trying to foist parental ability on the new man as the kids have a father (see #1).
6. Likely have a lucrative career.
7. Have a overall stable life.

Yes, some single moms do get relationships. Generally these are the attractive ones. The ones that aren't generally get losers, phedophiles, beta males and players.

Like another poster mentioned, you should delay dating for serious relationships until that youngest child is in school time full-time ( kindergarten). Work on yourself in the meantime. Right now, your current male "equivalent" is not someone you want around your kids.
 dinno76
Joined: 7/13/2018
Msg: 236
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 12:51:15 PM
Not looking for hookups anymore. That is usually the single ladies over 30. The single ladies in their 20s hookups is all they seek. Do you really think Tinder is for finding real dates? Not for people in their 20s.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 237
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 1:32:16 PM

Peter_Hungus
Dear, you are conflating "single mom" with "women with kids". Yes, most women my age do have kids and I do date them. The ones I date are called "divorced moms". The reason is, in contrast to single moms, divorced moms generally;

1. Have the father (ex-husband) consistently in their children's lives. In many cases 1/2 custody. This allows the mom's time away from the kids. This is the only way to even build a relationship with a woman.
2. Better behaved kids ( see #1)
3. Are on generally good financial footing ( see #1) ( alimony, divorce asset acquisition, consistent child support).
4. The woman is less stressed and in better physical shape.
5. Isn't trying to foist parental ability on the new man as the kids have a father (see #1).
6. Likely have a lucrative career.
7. Have a overall stable life.

Yes, some single moms do get relationships. Generally these are the attractive ones. The ones that aren't generally get losers, phedophiles, beta males and players.

Like another poster mentioned, you should delay dating for serious relationships until that youngest child is in school time full-time ( kindergarten). Work on yourself in the meantime. Right now, your current male "equivalent" is not someone you want around your kids.


Sir, I agree with what you said. However, these women are damaged. The other women you indicted are SANE rational women. The real fact they do not want a man, rather than a pony to take the burden off their shoulders. They are fighting with their ex-BFs. and never leave on a good note.

They got their kids, then felt trapped with responsibility and real life. They cannot hang out like how they want anymore, buy what they want, having vacations,...etc. These women are not the real women. They are teenagers in the body of adult women.

They want a pony to take care of their kids and them financially. Sane women are different. Thus, they most likely will never listen to you.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 238
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 7:32:13 PM

Well your "truths" were incorrect since I'm not on meds, so if you are going to point out truths atleast get them right

Just to be sure I "got them right"....I copied your exact words...
this is just 2 of your posts in the last 5 days....


I'll have to get off the quetiapine because even a tiny bit makes me feel drugged and too tired



I don't want to take the pristiq because when I took 1/4 of a tablet I felt like I was in some sort of outer body trance like state.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 239
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 7:44:58 PM
I don't get why you think harassing me is gonna somehow help you.
It is just the truth that people that do casual sex have more hang ups lol.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 240
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 8:06:18 PM
When a suicidal and paranoid thing lives without a therapist and medication to help, her case must get worse.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 241
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 8:31:39 PM
sienna writes
I don't get why you think harassing me is gonna somehow help you.
It is just the truth that people that do casual sex have more hang ups lol.

you were not being harassed by Ms. M. she pointed out what many of us whom are older know already That some Women and Men have casual sex for just because.
Its not what I did during my younger life, but a persons life is there own life to live, my main concern in sex, casual or otherwise is using protection, and respect and responsibility for the choices one makes.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 242
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 8:48:59 PM
Texas chick I beg to differ :

an you.
You do nothing but **** and moan about all your emotional and psychological issues....all the pills you take....
how your family treats you.... and have the audicity to say someone else has "hangups"......frikken laughable

So yea she was harassing me lol
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 243
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 9:37:07 PM
TEXASCHICK__

You look a hooker signing,

I am a whore
give me more
Call me bitch
Cause I am a hitch
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 244
Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/7/2018 9:40:41 PM

_TEXASCHICK__
sienna writes
I don't get why you think harassing me is gonna somehow help you.
It is just the truth that people that do casual sex have more hang ups lol.

you were not being harassed by Ms. M. she pointed out what many of us whom are older know already That some Women and Men have casual sex for just because.
Its not what I did during my younger life, but a persons life is there own life to live, my main concern in sex, casual or otherwise is using protection, and respect and responsibility for the choices one makes.


Did you find a solution for your wrinkled camel toe?

Did you tell us how it feels when neither your husband or kids may not contacting you all?

BTW, I told people here DAMAGED women like those who put them down, never believed me.

DO YOU BELIEVE ME NOW GUYS?
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 245
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/8/2018 12:16:38 AM
*DO YOU BELIEVE ME NOW GUYS?

No, I am afraid not. Get it through your head. You are a Muslim. You are the other. You need to be dealt with before you do something Islamic like blow up a building or cut up a little girl's privates. That's what you do. That's what you are. We are willing to come to terms with damaged but never with barbaric.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 246
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/8/2018 2:40:21 AM

So yea she was harassing me lol

She isn't harassing you. She is trying to help you keep your story straight.

Even the nutso guy is right about you changing your stories to suit your narrative.

I mean... how freaking bad is that?

I know trolls are gonna troll but a little consistency goes a long way.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 247
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/8/2018 7:20:50 AM

I don't get why you think harassing me is gonna somehow help you.

I am pointing out that you have absolutely no right to judge anothers choices.....when you have plenty of your own issues...


It is just the truth that people that do casual sex have more hang ups lol.

No.....it is your judgemental opinion....

Sometimes.....a person makes a choice to have sex without the strings of a relationship. It is nothing more than meeting a sexual/physical need.
Doesn't mean they are emotionally damaged or unavailable...
just means at that point in time they choose to not be in a relationship....
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 248
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Posted: 10/8/2018 7:56:45 AM

It is just the truth that people that do casual sex have more hang ups lol.


Naaa. That's just your opinion. You obviously have a vendetta again men who have casual sex because you've been humped and dumped by them. It's possible that they did want a relationship - just not one with you. It doesn't mean they had hang-ups just because they decided after sex that they didn't want to see you again.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 249
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/8/2018 10:22:58 AM
I never said anything inconsistent. EVER.
If some COHERENT person wants to come along and bring up my supposed inconsistencies for me to address go for it.
Otherwise stop making lies up and shut up.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 250
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Not looking for hookups anymore
Posted: 10/8/2018 10:29:42 AM

Doesn't mean they are emotionally damaged or unavailable...


Overall, sexual hookup behavior among college women was positively correlated with experiencing depression, SV, and STI.
Casual sex was negatively associated with well-being and positively associated with psychological distress.

I don't have anything against you and don't mean to offend. I pick a side based on what knowledge I have and will then research it and post the evidence. If you have opposing evidence from research I would be interested in seeing it.
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