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 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 326
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Not looking for hookups anymorePage 14 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)
I don't get the having sex without touching thing either. 80% of sex is the caressing and foreplay and kissing.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 327
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Posted: 10/30/2018 3:27:41 PM

I don't get the having sex without touching thing either. 80% of sex is the caressing and foreplay and kissing.


Agreed. If she doesn't want the kissing or caressing and foreplay, she should just keep the guy as a platonic friend, and get herself a sybian machine.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 328
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Posted: 10/30/2018 3:49:49 PM
msg#327:
I don't get the having sex without touching thing either. 80% of sex is the caressing and foreplay and kissing.


Agreed. If she doesn't want the kissing or caressing and foreplay, she should just keep the guy as a platonic friend, and get herself a sybian machine.


A sybian machine? I think an active imagination and knowledge of one's own body's pleasure points would suffice~
No need for overkill!
(Smile)
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 329
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Posted: 10/30/2018 4:36:46 PM
Did someone mention sybian machine? You know I ... Nah, never mind.

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 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 330
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Posted: 10/30/2018 4:52:56 PM
msg#329:
Did someone mention sybian machine? You know I ... Nah, never mind.


Oh Henry!
hahahaha
(Smile)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 331
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Posted: 10/30/2018 7:28:42 PM

All these "studies" Complete BS.

Surveying people about sex is pretty shaky. When surveys on # of those one had sex with the opp-sex is 2x larger for men, when it should be basically equal, and none have guys lower than girls of individual surveys -- you already know they're unreliable if such a Basic one is Way Off. [with ~equal # of men & women = equal average of each gender when it comes to requiring man-on-woman/woman-on-man activites]

People who have had 1 sexual partner can cheat, Ive seen it. While people who play the field can be faithful when they get serious.

True. Low # of historical sexual 'partners' doesn't mean one won't cheat. And Clear cheating doesn't require going-all-the-way or close to all-the-way either (although many times it'll be at least somewhat close to it). I've known gals when in my 20s who had a wholesome upbringing, introduced to college cheat on their BFs during that college transition just as readily (new wow factor). And gals who married their school sweetheart cheat on their husbands in a defunct relationship, too.

When you play the field, it indicates you're single. Because you play the field well when single, doesn't mean you're more apt to cheat. I think it's more that one who can't play the dating field to save their lives are less likely to cheat than others, when in a serious relationship that's at least going okay in their mind.

I thought it was simply childish. Having sex without touching? Then why bother unless it's some sort of power trip?

Yeah, I'm not buying it, I think it's an over-inflated claim. I think it's more that she shys away from getting touchy-feely with the guy. Kind of like how escorts or ex's can be to the other when hooking up. I think she did indicate it was a power trip of sorts. When people point that out with a "ha ha" against the opp-sex, they usually don't know they're indicating emotional & self-esteem problems of their own.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 332
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Posted: 10/30/2018 8:07:23 PM

When SiennaBear says that she did not “touch” her FWB, I’m going to make a wild guess that what she means is “no hand job, no oral.


More headache than what it's worth...
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 333
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Posted: 10/31/2018 5:27:51 AM
That's what happens when I am not really into it or I'm feeling shy or uncomfortable. Like I had sex with a different guy later and didn't give him a BJ or HJ either, because even though I was kinda into him I didn't know him that much and felt uncomfortable. He was playing annoying head games and saying "do what you want", so I was like, whatever and didn't. If they aren't assertive in what they want and dominant, I won't bother doing it. I won't take the lead. I'm a submissive and leading turns me off. A lot of younger men seem to want women to take the lead and do all the work, not into that. If I wanted it to be a power trip it would be more than just not touching them. It was more, if I don't love them I'm disinterested in kissing or pleasuring them basically. Like it's icky.
Sybian looks uncomfortable it's so straight
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 334
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Posted: 10/31/2018 9:37:07 AM
So if you are uncomfortable you will have sex, but a hand job is off limits..... Makes perfect sense really.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 335
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Posted: 10/31/2018 10:26:35 AM
Well I changed my mind about wanting to have sex but was too **** to back out with that guy because I'd already agreed to it. It sucked anyway so might as well of turned around and said "no Sorry changed my mind". What's done is done though, a waste of a +1.
When I'm not into them, or uncomfortable I get selfish and don't want to really do much.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 336
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Posted: 10/31/2018 10:57:42 AM
That happened to me once. I just was not into it but I didn't want to hurt the guy's feelings because he seemed so into it. I wasn't comfortable just saying I couldn't go any further. I just wasn't attracted to him physically. He was such a nice guy and I had kept things going figuring maybe he's make up for his lack of attractiveness by being really good at sex. But when I saw his size I realized it was not to be. He had a very very small penis and there was very awkward pathetic sex involved. The whole time I felt so guilty faking that I had a good time but the guy and I had been talking via phone for about a month and he had planned such a nice date, put a lot of thought into it and I wanted to give him a chance.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 337
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Posted: 10/31/2018 11:08:53 AM
*facepalm* after reading the two posts above me...
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 338
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Posted: 10/31/2018 1:54:24 PM

*facepalm* after reading the two posts above me


She shakes her head, squints, reads the words again...…………...rolls her eyes and groans.
Good grief, …………...and THEY insist they need to spend days ………….weeks even...………. sending messages / texting. "Getting to know him "...…………...Oh and lets not forget THEY are opposed to FWB. ……………...BUT..

Nevermind. It's a frickin' joke!
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 339
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Posted: 10/31/2018 4:38:17 PM
You do know that you can say 'no' at any time.
Or 'I'm sorry but this isn't working for me'.
Though it is polite to say it sooner rather than when you discover he isn't as well-endowed or sexy as you originally thought.
Having sex because you don't have anything better to do at the moment is a lousy reason for having sex.


Oh and lets not forget THEY are opposed to FWB

Maybe they are opposed to FWB because they believe it to be an obligation when the other person wants sex and they don't.
(Psst, you CAN say 'not now'.)

Definitely a face-palming, head-shaking moment.

What's worse in my mind is, is this typical girl behavior? Are there a million other females doing this same kind of thing?
Must be and that's where they get all the survey answers indicating frequent sex = frequent depression/psychological problems.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 340
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Posted: 10/31/2018 6:57:23 PM
Its casual sex that = issues, not so much frequent sex.
The guy I slept with was well endowed but not that fit because he seemed exhausted fast lol.
The sex was also boring but I guess I'm kinda hard to please.
I would imagine a lot of people have sex sometimes because they feel obligated to or don't want to back out of it.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 341
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Posted: 10/31/2018 7:19:13 PM

I would imagine a lot of people have sex sometimes because they feel obligated to or don't want to back out of it


I am amazed at what one imagines...………………...
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 342
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Posted: 10/31/2018 8:05:47 PM

The guy I slept with was well endowed but not that fit because he seemed exhausted fast lol.


He probably did all of the work.


The sex was also boring but I guess I'm kinda hard to please.


Like I said earlier...more headache than what it's worth.


I would imagine a lot of people have sex sometimes because they feel obligated to or don't want to back out of it.


I've backed out a couple of times because:

-She had too much to drink and fell asleep.
-She kept stopping and talking. I got dressed and left.

It's not that difficult to back out.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 343
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Posted: 10/31/2018 9:21:55 PM

I would imagine a lot of people have sex sometimes because they feel obligated to or don't want to back out of it.


Yeah I can see that, especially if one puts themselves in that situation to begin with. I've heard many stories about young women just going along with it because they were already at his house, didn't have their own way home (in the days before Uber, Lyft, etc) & didn't want to piss the guy off so they had sex out of obligation. Those stories are fairly common but not told very often because of the outpouring of judgment that follows.

There are many people who change their mind at the last minute only to have the other person be angry towards them. It is a lot more dangerous for women in that regard.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 344
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Posted: 10/31/2018 10:46:34 PM
Yeah, I had a close friend in university who was making out with a guy in his dorm room, she thought she was ready to lose her virginity but then while they were hot and heavy jnto making out she changed her mind because she didn't feel it was right. He wouldn't take no for an answer and physically overpowered her. She didn't scream or anything but she was kind of depressed for a few days and me and another friend went to her room and pried it out of her. I don't recall the word rape being thrown around, this being before the days of "Me Too" but that was basically what happened. The worst part of it was that the guy went and apologized to her and she accepted it and they went out for about a year but she told me and our other friend a few times that while he did sleep with her against her will the first time, she just learned to get used to it.

There is a real fear that if you refuse sex, the guy will just do it anyway because he's physically able to overpow you. And when you are in a place all alone with a guy, who knows what will happen.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 345
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Posted: 11/1/2018 9:08:15 AM

I've backed out a couple of times because:

-She had too much to drink and fell asleep.
-She kept stopping and talking. I got dressed and left.

It's not that difficult to back out.
I have backed out a few times. some, just wasn't the right or smartest thing to take it any farther. she just left a relationship and will likely go back or any number of scenario's where either party would later regret it. twice, however, that wasn't my reasons! the town slut drug me back to her motel room. I ducked in the bathroom for a minute and when I exited, I immediately was overwhelmed with the stench of dead fish! she was laying there 'spread and ready' as I walked right out the door. rather rude on my part but left in such a rush that I failed to shut the door. at least a dozen in the parking lot got a clear view (and smell) and she was still 'in position' after I got in my car. another time, the woman grabbed a large shampoo bottle and I watched the entire thing EASILY disappear. I put on my clothes and left explaining there was nothing I had that could compete.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 346
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Posted: 11/1/2018 11:49:00 AM
msg#345:^^^Did you really need to share the details of that encounter John?

Tasteless and offensive.

;-(
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 347
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Posted: 11/1/2018 12:21:05 PM
I can't stop laughing. That's hilarious.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 348
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Posted: 11/1/2018 1:23:44 PM

Like I had sex with a different guy later and didn't give him a BJ or HJ either, because even though I was kinda into him I didn't know him that much and felt uncomfortable.

Refraining from foreplay doesn't = "no touching" lol. Some gals are weird on BJs being "intimate" moreso than sex. I can understand that if they have sexual apprehensions and aren't the biggest fan of doing it, although I say call a spade a spade -- it's something ya don't like doing by default, and you have to really like the guy to do something that you'd only like doing purely because it pleases him.

However, stepping away from HJs? Certainly not intimate, far from it, compared to everything else. You could give a guy a HJ to make him pop, to avoid Having sex when you're having second thoughts about sex.

I would imagine a lot of people have sex sometimes because they feel obligated to or don't want to back out of it.

Any pizza's good pizza when you're hungry though. ;)

If you don't want to back out of it, why back out of it? And just because you feel obligated to, doesn't mean you are. And you can't blame the guy for you following-thru on something you Felt obligated about, and then had regrets about it. When getting frisky, you can tell them "here, let's just do this" if you're having second thoughts about going all-the-way. That's where HJs cum in, if you're not a fan of hitting 3rd base - lol.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 349
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Posted: 11/1/2018 2:27:51 PM

the town slut drug me back to her motel room. I ducked in the bathroom for a minute and when I exited, I immediately was overwhelmed with the stench of dead fish! she was laying there 'spread and ready' as I walked right out the door. rather rude on my part but left in such a rush that I failed to shut the door.


This story sounds too fishy to be true. (Pun intended).
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 350
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Posted: 11/3/2018 2:20:05 AM
I don't really think BJ or Hj on the guy are that intimate, or performed on me either. Doesn't really do anything for me. Usually I don't have sex with them but because he said something making sex seem like not a big deal I agreed to it. But then I got cold feet quick and felt like I was in too deep to back out. So damn awkward.

Ensuing sex I didn't really want and also sucked. I had to fake getting off because I was bored and he seemed exhausted. Boring vanilla sex lol.
Atleast he was kinda cute and had a big c@ck but he wasn't dominant or exciting enough and that bored me considerably.
They're usually not dominant or exciting enough though tbh. So blessed that I found my boyfriend, would of been good to of found him before experiencing the guys who sucked though lol.
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