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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > I just lost my soulmate.      Home login  
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 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 51
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I just lost my soulmate.Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

The emotional baggage is easier to get over than the financial baggage.
but your every post screams emotional baggage! granted, some potential dates may consider your finances and kids baggage they don't want but that is their preference, move on and forget them. the real baggage is focusing so much on your ex and how your problems all come back to this. your a single mom on a budget, that should be the end of it in most conversations. the child support should be legal, not emotional. who he sleeps with, how he lives or any other aspect of his life should not concern you. only legal/financial concerns and zero emotions. if your long lost aunt died and left you billions, then your long lost cousin came to assist raising kids and you dropped 100 pounds, you would still be carrying the same baggage because your just placing blame rather than accepting and moving on. 'if' you can be happy raising kids on a limited income and accept yourself as you are, you wont 'need' money or a guy, it would just be icing on the cake.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 52
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/12/2018 7:42:50 AM
When you have kids with someone its hard to avoid an ex. I wish he'd just quit fighting me in court with ridiculous stuff so I can move on. Every time I have to talk to my lawyer my bill goes up and its stressful. And living with my mom is stressful. I can't move on until I can get out of my mother's house. I need my own life and I'm feeling stifled.
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 53
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/12/2018 8:19:26 AM
JF-R_A_T dropping the white feathers all over the place!; ) Blessings!!
 curvylady1965
Joined: 12/31/2017
Msg: 54
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/12/2018 9:06:46 AM
Rise - in Message 50, I have read a lot of truly horrible and nasty things in these forums, but wishing someone was American because, according to your claim, they have a 1 in 300 chance of being murdered is by far the worst to date. And you posted it on Remembrance Day - just no words.

July, I really think you should contemplate what John has to say. You don't seem to be over the emotional aspect of your previous relationship and I am not referring to the financial challenges that remain. You have mentioned things that make me wonder why you are preoccupied with some aspects of his life, such as why he gets to have a relationship with a pretty, thin blonde. In my opinion, you are looking at some superficial characteristics that you know very little about and making a lot of assumptions. It's like Micki mentioned in another post about nice houses with no furnishings. Things can appear one way, but reveal themselves to be very different below the surface. In my opinion, the more energy you give toward thinking about/ resenting him and things he "seems" to have, the less you have for things that matter like creating the future you desire.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 55
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/12/2018 10:46:08 AM

JF-R_A_T dropping the white feathers all over the place!; ) Blessings!!


What does this mean?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 56
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/12/2018 3:08:09 PM

uly, I really think you should contemplate what John has to say. You don't seem to be over the emotional aspect of your previous relationship and I am not referring to the financial challenges that remain. You have mentioned things that make me wonder why you are preoccupied with some aspects of his life, such as why he gets to have a relationship with a pretty, thin blonde. In my opinion, you are looking at some superficial characteristics that you know very little about and making a lot of assumptions. It's like Micki mentioned in another post about nice houses with no furnishings. Things can appear one way, but reveal themselves to be very different below the surface. In my opinion, the more energy you give toward thinking about/ resenting him and things he "seems" to have, the less you have for things that matter like creating the future you desire.


You're not wrong. I think the big thing for me is that as long as I don't have my own place I feel like I'm stuck and trapped. I want to be moving forward but right now I feel planted firmly in one spot. Both my self-esteem and happiness are suffering as a result. I feel powerless right now, it is all just a waiting game: wait for court proceedings to end, wait for my child tax benefits to be reinstated, wait for my debts to be paid off, wait to be able to move into my own place with my kids. Maybe dating was one thing I figured I could control because I can't yet enjoy the other good parts of being single, namely being independent and on my own.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 57
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/12/2018 3:55:04 PM
but that is still outside factors. you need to ACCEPT your situation and then do the best you can with your current choices. you are not trapped. public housing, womens shelters and sleeping under a bridge, a room at moms sounds like the best option. I get that child support would allow you to get your own place and a little freedom and sanity but your missing the point. focus on making the best of what you do have and forget about whos fault it is that you don't have more. you can still strive for better but true happiness comes from within.
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 58
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/12/2018 7:08:43 PM
CD65 msg 55 see msg 48-this topic-that will clear it up for ya
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 59
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/12/2018 9:24:27 PM
^^^ No it didn't, but never mind...
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 60
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/13/2018 6:49:48 AM
^^^^^I think it's something about broccoli and pigeons.
And maybe jehovah's witnesses going door to door.
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 61
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I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 11/13/2018 8:13:22 AM
yeah b-mod pigeon lab they do not respond well to brocoli -the jehovahs wouldn't partake of my water but boy did they want to drop the message
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