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 realtysucks
Joined: 8/25/2018
Msg: 26
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What is holding you backPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
This thread was meant for anyone

Not just me, sooo disappointed
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 27
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/4/2018 6:31:02 AM

cindi_rella

You forgot to mention women that have a JOB that pays well enough for them to support themselves. Not all women rely on alimony or government assistance to get by.


Right right. Here is from a quick search on the internet

A record 37 percent of married mothers have a higher income than their husbands, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of data from the U.S. Census Bureau.

Yet only 3 percent of divorcing men receive alimony, according to U.S. Census Bureau statistics. (In 2010, there were 12,000 male alimony recipients compared to 380,000 female alimony recipients.)

How could that be fair for a man?

Moreover, there are some unfair points in our legal system. If a man was super drunk, had sex with a super drunk woman, who is blamed here, the beast, the wild savage animal, the man? Make sense nah.

If a man works as a doctor and makes $100,000 per year. However, he decided to work as an accounting clerk and gets paid $30,000 per year. The judge has the right to to calculate the alimony he should pay, upon the $100,000 annual salary. Can you believe that?

Do you want more crap in the legal system? Most of child support cases woman won them, regardless of their mental,physical, financial status.

More and more, even if your wife committed adultery on your bed, she still has the right for alimony, after cheating 10 or 20 years of marriage. So Fair???

Imagine it, after 10 years of marriage. Another man on your bed, with your ex-wife, whom entertains herself by spending your money you paid her via divorce, alimony, or child support on him - to keep him around - while you are watching that, and have nothing to do about it. She might even gets a restraining order again you to stop you from seeing your kids.

Which religion, common sense, legal system, or logical thinking calls that fair?

Do you wanna get married and risk your wealth and house, then help yourself?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoXQf2f2Yxo
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 28
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/4/2018 6:49:44 AM

If a man works as a doctor and makes $100,000 per year. However, he decided to work as an accounting clerk and gets paid $30,000 per year. The judge has the right to to calculate the alimony he should pay, upon the $100,000 annual salary. Can you believe that?
this happened to me 20 years ago!! their reasoning is that you purposely lowered your income to avoid paying. in my case, she bankrupt the business to hurt me. it took 6 years before my support matched my actual income and another 4 to pay off the arrears.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 29
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/4/2018 9:17:30 AM

A record 37 percent of married mothers have a higher income than their husbands, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of data from the U.S. Census Bureau.

And that means that 63 percent of men have the higher income.
What does that have to do with divorced women?

...some of this is taken from post of mine in another thread... but relevant here:

And, for the record, I really detest men saying women get all the alimony and child support.
Child support is (supposed to be) for raising children and studies also show that women spend a higher percentage of their (usually lower) income on children then men do.
And only about 60 percent of the non-custodial parent pays the full child support.
Over one-quarter of custodial parents are below the poverty level... and most of those (by your own argument) are women.

And about 10% of divorced women receive alimony (if you actually do math with the numbers provided by the census statistics) so about a 3 to 1 ratio to men receiving alimony.

(data from US Census 2010 and 2015)

However, men still make more money...


Altogether, there are only two occupations—‘dining room and cafeteria attendants and bartender helpers’ and ‘wholesale and retail buyers, except farm products’—in which women’s median earnings are slightly higher than men’s, while there are 107 occupations in which women’s median earnings were 95 percent or less than men’s (that is, a wage gap of at least 5 cents per dollar earned by men). During 2017, the median gender earnings ratio for all full-time weekly workers was 81.8 percent, reflecting median weekly earnings for all female full-time workers of $770, compared with $941 per week for men (Table 1). In general, the highest paid occupations have the biggest gender gaps and the lowest paid occupations that have the smallest gaps. All but one of the ten occupations with the largest gender wage gaps have earnings that are higher than median earnings for all workers ($860); five of the ten occupations with the lowest wage gaps or with a gap in favor of women have earnings below the median for all workers.
from https://iwpr.org/publications/gender-wage-gap-occupation-2017-race-ethnicity/

So, how can all this be fair for a woman?


More and more, even if your wife committed adultery on your bed, she still has the right for alimony, after cheating 10 or 20 years of marriage. So Fair???

Does this mean that she SHOULD get more money if he's the one who cheats (which is more typical)?
No. from Divorce.Net...
Basically, in setting the amount of alimony to be paid, courts look at:
how much money each person could reasonably earn every month
what the reasonable expenses are going to be for each of them, and
whether an alimony award from one to the other would make it possible for each to go forward with a lifestyle somewhat close to what the couple had before they split—known in divorce law as “the standard of living established during the marriage.”
As is frequently the case, if there isn’t enough money to make it possible for the parties to reestablish something close to their marital standard of living, then most judges will look for a way to make the divorcing parties share the financial pain equally.


Although a lot of it is decided by the judge who may be biased one way or the other.
It's also a good reason to dress professionally and be polite in court.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 32
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/4/2018 10:20:38 AM

And that means that 63 percent of men have the higher income.
What does that have to do with divorced women?


It has everything. I am not sure what type of rules judges apply here. They neither apply Preponderance of Evidence Standard nor Beyond Reasonable Doubt Standard. If men really making more than woman, still the cause, why on earth a man should pay alimony for an ex-wife, even if after cheating on him on his bed?

I saw women here in her 60s are running behind men in the ages of their kids, to spend their ex-husbands money on them. Fair enough.

Why on earth the judge does not give the child support for the man who makes more money? Why men barely got their right of custody or child support, even if the wife is mentally or physically disabled?

A man who makes more money, means he was spending more money in the family during marriage. Does that count?

After all of this crap women want to a man to marry? Nah. Find a good woman like you. At least, they may confuse the judge for what should s/he do between 2 mom and the wild creature so called men, are not there anymore.

Meanwhile, how many women here told their long-term husbands bye, and run behind another man giving him everything, rather than reconciling with the father of her children? Did I touch the nerve?

The truth is, the wife who sells her long-term husband in a second, is going to sell any other man in a second. Any man does not know this fact, he is stupid or stupid. So, marriage, never ever ever.

Enjoy to this story, and how divorce system in the United States
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fU-Uvr4Mvp4
 DedElf6809
Joined: 11/28/2017
Msg: 33
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/4/2018 10:26:22 AM
@ onionheart



Many women do not want husbands anymore, rather than men in their lives, so they do not feel lonely or rejected. They are already fine financially; either through the money they took from the government, cash assistance, food stamps,...etc, or their ex-bfs or husbands via alimonies or child supports. Why on earth a mom with a kid or more that is fine financially needs a man in her life?

Think about it?

Focus on yourself and do not waste your money and time. Take your money and visit other countries, work on yourself, and you will see a different world. If you need kids, adopt a kid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCpBa4ITEcI
And with one post you explained to everyone why you're single and will die single: You're a garbage human being.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 34
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/4/2018 10:30:31 AM

And with one post you explained to everyone why you're single and will die single: You're a garbage human being.


There is a different between getting married and being single?

However, should I lend you a good suit and tie for the court or you already smart and have one?

Enjoy,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjONnpxYTkE
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 35
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/4/2018 11:18:39 AM

What is holding you back


Uncooperative women.

Long ago, in a galaxy far far away......


Star Wars
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 36
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/6/2018 3:08:57 PM

I agree with you that some users aren’t put effort into dating whilst on a dating site. Is this why they’re still single?


Once apon a time, I put effort into dating. When my effort netted zilch, I put more into it. Then I got a bigger Zilch. So even more effort went into it. And I got an even bigger ZILCH. So, what was my problem? I was trying to date. So I stopped all of it. I still have zilch, but it took no effort to get it.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 37
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/6/2018 3:33:28 PM
what exactly is putting in the effort? spend more time looking at the same profiles I saw last time I was here 6 years ago? sending repeat messages to women when they didn't respond to the first? sending messages to all the women hoping one responds? I spend little effort as I have not seen any I cared to pursue. maybe 'more effort' meant creating a better profile? not me, not pretending to be somebody I am not just to date! not sure what 'more effort' means.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 38
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/7/2018 10:40:42 AM

1: people are confusing the difference between decision and a choice

Sure. A decision is when you're choosing something in which there is a choice. But you can have a choice and not care or even know you have one.

If one is not making a effort to pursue a relationship.
Why contradict yourself and joined a on-line dating site.

Oh, that's a no-brainer. Online dating doesn't = Relationship Hunting. Everyone knows that. Just because you're in the dating scene, doesn't mean you're LTR-hunting or trying to find a BF/GF. That should be common sense...

Since I’m almost 40 years old, it just puzzling how many single people are out there.

Why is it puzzling? We live in an age where people are more independent, thus, it becomes more and more apparent that being in a Relationship itself holds No Value. It's the WHO that holds value more now, than yesteryear.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 39
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/7/2018 10:50:49 AM

what exactly is putting in the effort? spend more time looking at the same profiles I saw last time I was here 6 years ago? sending repeat messages to women when they didn't respond to the first? sending messages to all the women hoping one responds? I spend little effort as I have not seen any I cared to pursue. maybe 'more effort' meant creating a better profile? not me, not pretending to be somebody I am not just to date! not sure what 'more effort'


I agree. Moreover, women here are 4 types.

First type is homeless or mental disabled woman who needs a home to stick in, rather a guy to love.

Second, a woman that is overwhelmed among being a mom, dad, getting child support, handling her ex-bf/ husband, and work, and has no time for anything else.

Third, a divorced woman who cashed out her life with a guy, after spending several years with, complaining he was either physical or emotional abuser. So, prepare yourself for the same future.

Forth, an old woman who is looking for a fresh meat to feel young again.

Can you tell me which women of these here may make a good partner for you?
 hey_suze
Joined: 8/28/2017
Msg: 40
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/7/2018 2:55:34 PM
Me, il make a good partner.
Was married a long time, was loyal, it ended.
Yes, Iv been hurt, and I hope I don’t carry that hurt around forever, but I’m normal, I’m happy, and I have most of my shit together. A home of my own, a job and 2 great children living their own happy lives.
I’m now hoping to meet a bloke who can be honest, trustworthy and wants to make a life with me...and only me.
I am more choosy, and still young enough to want to find the passion also.......
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 41
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/7/2018 3:18:05 PM

Me, il make a good partner.
Was married a long time, was loyal, it ended.
Yes, Iv been hurt, and I hope I don’t carry that hurt around forever, but I’m normal, I’m happy, and I have most of my shit together. A home of my own, a job and 2 great children living their own happy lives.
I’m now hoping to meet a bloke who can be honest, trustworthy and wants to make a life with me...and only me.
I am more choosy, and still young enough to want to find the passion also.......
well if you live close enough to meet on a regular basis...….
 TomásIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 42
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/8/2018 1:24:07 AM
Well I might have my shit together then again I might not everyone's shit seems to be viewed differently when it comes to that terminology so it can be kind of confusing. I just do let them determine if I got it together or they will anyways.

I don't sweat finding a significant other?
I say no a lot when I don't like something or don't want to do it?
My finances are order expecting theirs to be too?
I make my bed in the morning when I get up whether a lady is in it or not?
They hate my lists and determination and dedication to get it done?
I do a lot of shit alone? Cause well I can take care of myself no need for mother thanks been managing since I was a teen but thanks for the offer.
I support my family in their decisions and they me ?
I am prepared, and always on time?
Most importantly and the real deal breaker I have 2 cats!!!!

I am dealing with a lot of shit holding me back here.

Am I supposed to provide pictures of all please let me know I can do it in a flash.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 43
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/8/2018 9:23:08 AM

First type is homeless or mental disabled woman who needs a home to stick in, rather a guy to love.

Second, a woman that is overwhelmed among being a mom, dad, getting child support, handling her ex-bf/ husband, and work, and has no time for anything else.

Third, a divorced woman who cashed out her life with a guy, after spending several years with, complaining he was either physical or emotional abuser. So, prepare yourself for the same future.

Forth, an old woman who is looking for a fresh meat to feel young again.


Wow. You have a very poor view of women. By the way, there is a fifth category of women on here, because I fall into none of those categories.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 44
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/8/2018 1:25:44 PM

Wow. You have a very poor view of women. By the way, there is a fifth category of women on here, because I fall into none of those categories.


I wish if I was wrong.

Are you sure you are not classified in 3rd category, and never complained about previous relationship at all?:)

Can someone tell me if this video is wrong?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCpBa4ITEcI

 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 45
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/8/2018 4:07:39 PM

Third, a divorced woman who cashed out her life with a guy, after spending several years with, complaining he was either physical or emotional abuser. So, prepare yourself for the same future.

Are you sure you are not classified in 3rd category, and never complained about previous relationship at all?:)


I'm positive I'm not classified in your third category.

I am not divorced. I never "cashed out my life" with a guy. I've never spent several years (or any amount of time) with a guy while complaining that he was a physical or emotional abuser. I don't date guys who are abusers, and no, I've never complained about a previous relationship. I date quality guys, and I can't speak badly about any of them, then or now. Whenever I or he felt we weren't a good match for each other, the relationship ended, and we moved on with our lives.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 46
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/9/2018 6:47:40 AM

I'm positive I'm not classified in your third category.

I am not divorced. I never "cashed out my life" with a guy. I've never spent several years (or any amount of time) with a guy while complaining that he was a physical or emotional abuser. I don't date guys who are abusers, and no, I've never complained about a previous relationship. I date quality guys, and I can't speak badly about any of them, then or now. Whenever I or he felt we weren't a good match for each other, the relationship ended, and we moved on with our lives.


Honestly, I'm impressed and skeptical . However, if it is possible, I think it will be nice if my Minnesotan cat knows your cats more in depth. Are you cats friendly enough to welcome new cats? :)
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 47
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/9/2018 9:46:55 AM

Honestly, I'm impressed and skeptical . However, if it is possible, I think it will be nice if my Minnesotan cat knows your cats more in depth. Are you cats friendly enough to welcome new cats? :)


I'm not sure about impressed, but there's no need to be skeptical. I also know I'm not the only one on POF who falls into this fifth category. I can think of at least a couple of other fabulous women here on the forums who also fall into that category. It might just take a little longer to find us.

I'm not sure about my cats- I've never tried bringing another cat around them! But considering Jinx will forget that he's known Scout pretty much his whole life after a trip to the vet for a day or two, I'm not too optimistic. I've been on and off this site for about two years now, and I met only one person in real life about a month ago now. I like him, so we'll see how it goes. :)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 48
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/9/2018 11:04:25 AM

I met only one person in real life about a month ago now. I like him, so we'll see how it goes. :)



cutenerd, Good for you! It's nice to read positive comments once in awhile.
(Pay no attention to lion guy. He's a real downer)
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 49
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/9/2018 1:00:35 PM

cutenerd, Good for you! It's nice to read positive comments once in awhile.


Thanks! :) We met each other through POF, crazy enough.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 50
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/9/2018 1:46:15 PM

I've been on and off this site for about two years now, and I met only one person in real life about a month ago now. I like him, so we'll see how it goes. :)

It's all part of the taking over the world agenda by robot hot nerds, right? One victim at a time! Of course, I could hardly call him a victim, lol.
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