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 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 76
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What is holding you backPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I think as you get older, you end up dating people who have a lot of baggage from past relationships, especially relationships where you spend 5, 10, 20 or more years together. At some point you each will have to talk about your ex. When you spend that long with someone, especially if you have kids with them, its a hard topic to avoid.

Every single guy I have met in person from online has talked about their ex to me and they were the ones who brought it up so I talked about my ex and while I was careful not to show outright anger or sadness when talking about them, I did not speak positively about them. What would be the point of that?
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 78
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 11:39:16 AM

norwegianguy456
I have no idea where you get that hasty, teenage-bitter-like assumption, tho. Or man, right? Or do you believe it's just a woman thing?

If a person talks to me (whether I be dating her or just a friend) about an ex, that expresses negatively about said ex, no, that does not = they're going to talk badly about me to someone else. I should only expect them to, to Certain Others, if I do something bad To Them, on that Same Level (or worse) that they were expressing negatively about -- and what I mean about Certain Others, means those who are also on the same level as me, then. In the end, I'm not worried. Unless they're Whining about stuff that has little substance and are over-reacting and shouldn't be complaining. Whether they would or wouldn't do the same about me -- I wouldn't care... I wouldn't want to deal with that.


I am confident no sane man enters to a relationship with a woman, to listen to her stories about her ex-bfs or husbands Ex means PAST. If the woman has not come over the past yet, then this is a good sign your relationship is staring on a wrong foot.

Moreover, no sane man gets into a relationship, thus the woman talks bad about him or he talks negatively about her. If that is the scenario , then it is much better to be single, than to be in trouble. If a man is insane enough to think he is an angel and exception, then he is too naive to be in a relationship. When a person talks. s/he puts her/his own story about the problem. So, there is no way to know the truth, unless you listen to the other party. Since she is talking about her relationship in the past, then there is no need to even know anything about all of this crap. Remember you are just supposed to be a friend or a potential partner. You are neither a therapist nor psychologist, and it is not your job in the relationship to be.

Additionally. if the woman is dating you and still talking about her exs, that means one thing, this ex or theses exs are still occupying a space in her mind , which is a BIG red flag.

If you like to listen to past drama, rather than building to the present and future, then good for you.

 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 79
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 12:01:37 PM

SiennaBear2
Thank you! :)
Well in the past men have not treated me the best so there is that and my family treats me pretty badly and there isn't anything I can do about it except leave.


You are welcomed:)
We are humans, not angels. For experience learning curving purpose, we should make bad choices, to learn for our present and future. Learning has a cost. It is a part of life and the world we are living in. However, it is good you said in the past, that means you are choices are going to be much better for the future. Just remember one this, it is the PAST, so let the past passed.

Are you able to do that and get ready for the present and future?


No relationship is perfect, people vent to others to try and cope with their relationship issues past and present. Everyone needs someone who they feel will listen and console them about their concerns.


You do not need to beat around the bush when you have a problem with your partner. Remember, this man you choice freely to be your partner or potential partner. A partner is a rational man, in which you can discuss and solve your problems. A man you choice to be the closest one to heart and mind. Thus, talking about him to someone else, will never gonna help and really unhealthy. If you cannot solve your problems with the man you choose freely, then you must learn how to make good choices and educate yourself about what does the term "Partner" mean? Do not you think?
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 80
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 12:12:02 PM
actually, I prefer to know about their ex's and why it ended. ignoring the past doesn't make it as if it never happened. of course you only get their side of it but you can usually tell where the truth lies and if you want to travel down that same road.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 81
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 12:15:11 PM

julystorm22
I think as you get older, you end up dating people who have a lot of baggage from past relationships, especially relationships where you spend 5, 10, 20 or more years together. At some point you each will have to talk about your ex. When you spend that long with someone, especially if you have kids with them, its a hard topic to avoid.

Every single guy I have met in person from online has talked about their ex to me and they were the ones who brought it up so I talked about my ex and while I was careful not to show outright anger or sadness when talking about them, I did not speak positively about them. What would be the point of that?


Pointless. I would understand a woman has a kid from her ex-husband or BF, and she speaks with her new husband or BF about the visitations of her ex-husband or child support,..etc.

However, talking negatively about your EXS will Not put you in an upper level, or put them in a lower level.

When you start a new life with any guy, open your new notebook and start to write down from the beginning. Consider your past relationships as old notebooks and throw them in the trash. Move on and think about how good future you are going to have and live. Do not be in bad relationships then complain? Do not try to be in a polygamist relationship that makes you uncomfortable, where a guy sleeps with other other women. You are much better and higher than that.

In brief, do not try to be in a relationship that causes your stress, then complain after about it. If you choice to be with a wrong a man who is complaining from the beginning about his past, then deal with the cost.

You are smart, pretty, and all of this world is waiting for you to enjoy it. Delete the problematic past with its people from head, and have a new start for the future. It is better to be single and happy, rather to be with wrong men and handle stress.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 82
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 12:19:00 PM

I think his English is off, and maybe leading to my understanding being off too..


I may have misunderstood a lot of it.


LOL. I find that Very hard to believe...


True fact!


I can understand you not getting the "expected" amount of guys doing so


I expected none.


you have an evil death stare


I do, and it's gotten worse since I became a teacher.


you've been living under a rock


And that's probably the real answer.


No, I meant you calling me out by name giving the wrong impression, would be giving the wrong impression that I'm Norwegian, by Using my name. Meaning -- no, I'm actually Not Norwegian IRL. :)


Sorry, my sarcasm level wasn't high enough on that one. Hard to express in writing- I caught you the first time! :)


Kinda-sorta. I am from Melmac, and but Alf and I didn't end up getting along so well. He was wanting to eat a girl's cat, I liked the girl.... long story. But more importantly, Mr Trebek isn't from Melmac. We just captured him and held him hostage there for long while, until he lost to one of us playing Jeopardy (off the reruns).


I wanna hear the story! That was the one thing I didn't like about Alf. That explains a lot (about Mr. Trebek)!
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 83
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 12:22:13 PM

johnfromzelie
actually, I prefer to know about their ex's and why it ended. ignoring the past doesn't make it as if it never happened. of course you only get their side of it but you can usually tell where the truth lies and if you want to travel down that same road.


I am not saying take a woman with a criminal background or mental disability, unless you want. However, if you want to play detective Columbo, and interrogate women's lives, then good for you. Imagine the woman you date has played Agatha Christie on you, how would you like that?

You are supposed to be the light for the woman you date. The man who is gonna make her forget about all problems in the past, rather than man who is going to keep reminding her about her past indirectly.

Have you heard about the song Truly Madly Deeply. it is says

I will be strong, I will be faithful 'cause I'm counting on a NEW Beginning.
A REASON for living. A Deeper meaning.

On the other hand, please be careful when you date. Have you read the news today?

Discovery of Dog Saves Oregon Man from 50 YEARS Sex Crime Conviction
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2018/09/11/discovery-dog-saves-oregon-man-from-sex-crime-conviction.html

 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 84
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 1:07:45 PM
so your different from all the other men and whatever life long patterns she has wont come in to play eventually? the reasons why may have no bearing in your situation or they could all be things that are of great importance. an example would be her ex drank too much and was lazy. that would not be an issue for me but would be for the guy that likes to lay around and get drunk. if she dumped him because he worked to much and never wanted to go out drinking, I should probably be on my way. assuming the guy was at fault, did she turn and run at the first sign of a problem or did she try until it was just too much? are her reasons justified or petty and selfish. would she still be there if you had health or financial issues, you had to work out of town for a while, or any number of other issues that would change the dynamics of a relationship.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 85
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 1:10:54 PM

True fact!

Locked up in a nun house, are we? :)

I expected none.

Again, I can see expecting fewer than a social doppleganger, but None? Do you wear a nun outfit?? :)

I do [evil death stare], and it's gotten worse since I became a teacher.

Well, all it takes a little liquid courage for a guy to overcome that... although I do see how that can at least somewhat compete with a nun outfit...

And that's probably the real answer.

The rock it is! Yeah, I'd utilize that rock hammer to crack it open. As you say, you're already out of the shell some -- lucky guy he is! But if things don't work out, don't crawl under another rock. Although with a cute gal's POF mailbox, the bombardment will pretty much pierce thru any rock. :)

I wanna hear the story! That was the one thing I didn't like about Alf. That explains a lot (about Mr. Trebek)!

Well, Alf wanted to eat the girl's cat, and I wanted to do the same (but not in reference to her pet) -- and I had to argue that Alf was wrong that what he wanted was a more satisfying exercise. Well, she overheard us arguing, and she didn't want to talk to either of us ever again. Human-like women on Melmac are very sensitive when overhearing guy-talk, apparently!

Mr Trebek... well, his ex-GF moved to Melmac but he never wanted to see her again, because he was complaining about her all the time. So us taking him as hostage actually was a blessing in disguise. He made his peace by beating her silly at Jeopardy, and once satisfied and relaxed, he was off his game enough where Alf beat him. Then, we sent him back. He's originally from Canada (no lie), so I think going to a different place wasn't that rough on him!
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 86
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 1:22:40 PM

so your different from all the other men and whatever life long patterns she has wont come in to play eventually? the reasons why may have no bearing in your situation or they could all be things that are of great importance. an example would be her ex drank too much and was lazy. that would not be an issue for me but would be for the guy that likes to lay around and get drunk. if she dumped him because he worked to much and never wanted to go out drinking, I should probably be on my way. assuming the guy was at fault, did she turn and run at the first sign of a problem or did she try until it was just too much? are her reasons justified or petty and selfish. would she still be there if you had health or financial issues, you had to work out of town for a while, or any number of other issues that would change the dynamics of a relationship.


No, I am just very experienced. Men are not angels. It is not our rule to judge women's past. I have seen this drama many times before. A man asks a woman about her past. She naively tells him many things he does not like to hear. After a while, the man may love her, but can not stay with her, because of what he has heard from her about her past. Moreover, the man uses what he heard from her, AGAINST her in the future, and vice versa. The woman does the same scenario as well.

Do not worry about her Ex at all, he is not your business. Either she makes a good choice or bad choice, that is her own business. Only, care about your present and future with her. Digging in a women's lives for capturing things, is like trying capturing water by your hands. It is not your job to dig in her life. Women are NOT mice lab, in which we need a detailed history about them. Ask about her, to know, if you care so much about her ex. then go and ask him, and then you can reconcile between her and her ex if you want.

It is your right to know if she has a criminal background, drug addicted, child support, ...etc. But you have no right to know about her problems with her exs.

This may advice for you, if I have the right to give you one, and it is really up to you. Take it, or leave it behind you back.

Men ask women about their past, then they judge them, and vice versa.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 87
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 8:09:59 PM

Again, I can see expecting fewer than a social doppleganger, but None?


I always assumed my extreme nerdiness and general shyness would derail any male interest.


As you say, you're already out of the shell some -- lucky guy he is! But if things don't work out, don't crawl under another rock.


It took years (including a couple on here) for him to find me living under my rock. I don't get out much, and it's nice and cozy under my rock. If things don't work out, someone else would have to find me under here.


Although with a cute gal's POF mailbox, the bombardment will pretty much pierce thru any rock. :)


I think everyone who says this is way overestimating the amount of messages you think cute girls get. Unless you are referring to hot girls, who may get more. I would not refer to it as a bombardment, and the types of messages don't make me want to come out from under my rock. He was the exception, and that took a long time.


Human-like women on Melmac are very sensitive when overhearing guy-talk, apparently!


Some women on Earth may be like that too. I don't know any, but I'm sure they exist.

As for Mr. Trebek...that explains a lot. He should know better than to complain about his ex all the time!
 Tom├ísIasan
Joined: 5/17/2018
Msg: 88
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/12/2018 9:56:55 PM
The fact a person hides and pretends shit wouldn't hold them back you know at all. As for Mr.Trebek at he keeps things in a real perspective not complaining a dose of my reality lady. Other women in real life thought it was just me complaining, they saw her outside their work and they mention to me. We thought you were just complaining her talking that way to her adult daughter causing a scene in middle of walmart they never seen it before. Their statement you lived that for 5 yrs I wouldn't have lasted a week, live with it? Here's my cell phone look at the messages be my guest, here's her voice mails it's all me telling people this shit is happening now is not complaining it's you are so fvcking screwed you try to date.

So all knowing person with no kids, and no ex who has kids with anyone give us your wisdom on experience on knowledge on how to get out of a situation you have no control over being in except to eliminate the ex spouse out of your life kids or not. I know Julystorms predicament cause I live it everyday my only advantage I been through her problems already. The mother is refusing to accept reality which is get your remaining shit out of my home so I can delete and block your a$$.

That's not complaining that's reality and she won't get so much as a second thought from me. Cause this shit will be over the second that door closes. You want to see ability to cut of all connection to another human being after them being in your life for over 20 yrs with no regret and no remorse no feeling whatsoever. That is what my ability is she gets to come here, and bring her shit to me for the sake of kids their not here no more she is no longer welcome.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 89
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 9:14:20 AM
Why Single Mothers Must Stay Single?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P5cK-RIUJo

Just for women, think 1000 times before having a kid from a guy, you do not know for sure if you may stay with him for good. I have seen many women claimed their ex-bfs were abusers. Once I asked, why did you get pregnant from an abuser in first place, she said," he was fine.", which means she was not rational enough to make a decision that was going to effect her life for good, and had a baby from the wrong guy.

Do you know by living as BF with a single mother and her kids, you are legally responsible for a child support in the future, for kids they are not yours? Are you ready for that?

Even if, by playing the dad role with them, you could be dragged to the court for a child support, without living with them.

Guys, do not do not do not date single mothers.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 90
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 10:17:21 AM

Do not worry about her Ex at all, he is not your business.


He will be if he's an insanely jealous psycho stalker.

Good luck with that.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 91
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 10:41:17 AM

He will be if he's an insanely jealous psycho stalker.

Good luck with that.


Sane men move on. Who cares about an ex!!!!!!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 92
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 11:49:58 AM

I always assumed my extreme nerdiness and general shyness would derail any male interest.

Nerdiness, not so much. Shyness with evil death stare, yes (to varying degrees). :)

It took years (including a couple on here) for him to find me living under my rock.

You live in Chi-town! That's too far fetched. I could maybe buy that even if in Naperville, but Chicago? I assume rocks get kicked all the time out there.

I don't get out much, and it's nice and cozy under my rock. If things don't work out, someone else would have to find me under here.

I understand. Old habits die hard, for better or worse. Under rocks included. And yes, if things don't work out, I don't think it'd take too long for someone else to find you under the rock. After all, the cute nerd robot take-over-the-world agenda should make that a little easier. :)

I think everyone who says this is way overestimating the amount of messages you think cute girls get. Unless you are referring to hot girls, who may get more.

Granted, this was 6 years ago, but I created a girl's profile in a midwestern city -- far smaller than Chicago. She wasn't hot. Average Jane. While finishing up filling her profile out, it sent me to another link to do the Questionnaire. Already had Mail! Guys were lining up to her as fast as if I made her walk into a bar wearing a shirt that says "I want to get laid tonight". And no, her profile was Standard, I swear. And no male-nude shots thrown at her or anything. I told her about this when I met up with my friends at a bar and also to give her her username+pass, and she immediately said "Can you make it say I'm just looking to go out on some dates and have fun, not looking for a relationship?" She was on the rebound. I said "OH NO. You DON'T want that. Just check out your mailbox, first." Point is, she got a Lot of immediate attention, and not just from weirdos.

As for Mr. Trebek...that explains a lot. He should know better than to complain about his ex all the time!

Yes, exactly. He's so consumed with trivia, he misses some of the key points in life. But that's what this thread is about! ;)

So all knowing person with no kids, and no ex who has kids with anyone give us your wisdom on experience on knowledge on how to get out of a situation you have no control over being in except to eliminate the ex spouse out of your life kids or not.

I think what the Lion's saying is that if one talks negative about their ex in any way, they're going to be talking smack about You. And if they talk smack about their ex's even to their gal-pals, they're going to be talking smack about them. It's a broad emotional brush to paint -- a poor man's way of dealing with past experiences of being talked bad about.

I think the real concern should be whether one, in the dating circuit with someone else, goes on complaining about their Ex. Even with kids where you have to mesh lives to some degree -- even though it doesn't at all indicate you're going to talk smack about anyone you raise an eyebrow with -- it'll ruin your dating chances if you like the other. I think it's just as simple as that.
 Onelionheart
Joined: 5/5/2018
Msg: 93
What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 12:32:13 PM

norwegianguy456
I think what the Lion's saying is that if one talks negative about their ex in any way, they're going to be talking smack about You. And if they talk smack about their ex's even to their gal-pals, they're going to be talking smack about them. It's a broad emotional brush to paint -- a poor man's way of dealing with past experiences of being talked bad about.

I think the real concern should be whether one, in the dating circuit with someone else, goes on complaining about their Ex. Even with kids where you have to mesh lives to some degree -- even though it doesn't at all indicate you're going to talk smack about anyone you raise an eyebrow with -- it'll ruin your dating chances if you like the other. I think it's just as simple as that.


What I want to say clearly is,

Every male must grow up and be a real man, and stop whining over his broken toy. Why on earth do you start a relationship if you could not move on the previous one? What do you expect from the woman you date when you keep whining over her should about how bad ex or exs you had? What is you goal? Are you expecting sympathy as a little kid?

The same words for a woman, why on the earth is she speaking either negatvetly or positively about her exs? What she wants from that?

I am not sure what type of raw man is that who wants to start a relationship, while he is working as therapist for the woman he dates? If he has mind, that is not his job.

Every man deserves a sane woman that does not ask for sympathy or attention by narrating bad story about her exs. If that you think you are an exception, stop being dreamer.

If the woman you date has problems from previous relationship, let her get a treatment, and when she becomes fine, she can start a relationship.

Watch this video to know more about mental disabled women, and why talking negatively about her exs is a good sign to be away from her, unless you are a mental disabled as well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iihsbrwqZLU
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 94
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 3:31:50 PM
When there is an issue in our relationship my partner and I discus it. I don't discus in great detail our issues with others and if I do it's only with my best friend as I'm looking for advice. Sometimes it's important to help not make bad relationship decisions. My partner and I also have no problem discussing issues in relationships of the past as we don't want to make the same mistakes and we are both trying to understand and figure out why the relationships deteriorated and ultimately failed. Personally I think this openness has increased our understanding of eachother and led to feeling closer as a couple.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 95
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 4:38:39 PM
Yup, that is one door prize one gets for getting involved with a single mother. It's called assumption of liabilities. Banks, loan institutions, government just love that hook in the legal system. The IRS will gleefully go after you for money owed, if you have your name on a bank account owned by someone else.

Life is just chocked full of fun little surprises like that. Suggestion- Learn, before you get burned.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 96
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 7:23:34 PM

You live in Chi-town! That's too far fetched. I could maybe buy that even if in Naperville, but Chicago? I assume rocks get kicked all the time out there.


I go from home to work, and work to home. There are definitely no guys to meet at work, considering the field I'm in. There are no guys to meet in my house. So unless a guy came knocking on my rock, there's very little opportunity for meeting someone.


Granted, this was 6 years ago, but I created a girl's profile in a midwestern city -- far smaller than Chicago.


I'll assume things are the same now, so you have a good idea of the amount of messages girls receive. I hope things worked out for her!

This thread is starting to get depressing. I can't believe that there are that many people out there who want to screw someone else over when things go south in a relationship.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 97
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/13/2018 8:38:56 PM

Every male must grow up and be a real man, and stop whining over his broken toy.

I agree. My point is: There's a Yuge difference between whining over your ex VS being in talks about past relationships/dating where you bring up pros & cons about them -- and I would hope there'd be cons. If it's only wonderous Pros, then, well, that's even worse. They're truly chasing their ex, then! But even in the disasterous situation where one's still pining over their ex (negative or positive), it doesn't mean they're going to doing so unless you put them in that position to pine about.

There are definitely no guys to meet at work, considering the field I'm in.

What about the hot gym teacher? There's always a hot male gym teacher at every school, right??

There are no guys to meet in my house. So unless a guy came knocking on my rock, there's very little opportunity for meeting someone.

Or a guy comes knocking at your door: "You ordered a sausage pizza?" lol

Naw, I understand. But when you go to the Blackhawks games alone, I think there's a little more opportunity. I'm sure not every situation you're in is at home or in the classroom! And at home, there's the online scene in all it's glory.

you have a good idea of the amount of messages girls receive. I hope things worked out for her!

Not really. She went out on a date with a guy to a (minor league) hockey game, and she was turned off. She gave him a 2nd date because on paper he was a decent guy (which, as telling me this I told her that wasn't a good idea) -- and the nails in the coffin came in right after that. She then threw in the towel.

The reason why she wanted me to make a profile is because I made one for our friend, her male roommate. A shy nice looking guy. I made him one -- and the first gal he met, who was a virgin but I wouldn't have guessed it -- he married. No lie, I swear. I was shocked.

This thread is starting to get depressing.

Well, I tried to liven things up with virgins getting married off of POF. I know, sounds like Sci-Fi! :) But I swear, it's 100% true. Makes me want to make other people's profiles (she wrote him first; I rubbed that in on him).

I can't believe that there are that many people out there who want to screw someone else over when things go south in a relationship.

I unfortunately think to Some extent, it's the gravitational pull to do so when things go south in a Relationship. Or to make it go south when one's not sufficiently happy in a healthy way over time. People have handbooks on how to go about approaching a girl, asking a gal out, what to do on a date, etc etc. Standard Ops. But what about "So you're not into your GF/BF anymore and they're doing nothing wrong?" People instead let their what was once mild frustration build over time, and seep out... become difficult, which leads to the other being difficult, and the fire builds... and bad things happen. That's what happens too many times anyway.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 98
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/14/2018 6:54:50 AM

I unfortunately think to Some extent, it's the gravitational pull to do so when things go south in a Relationship. Or to make it go south when one's not sufficiently happy in a healthy way over time. People have handbooks on how to go about approaching a girl, asking a gal out, what to do on a date, etc etc. Standard Ops. But what about "So you're not into your GF/BF anymore and they're doing nothing wrong?" People instead let their what was once mild frustration build over time, and seep out... become difficult, which leads to the other being difficult, and the fire builds... and bad things happen. That's what happens too many times anyway.
this goes back to knowing WHY her past relationships failed. if she jumps ship every time she gets bored, your gone as soon as the honeymoon stage wears off. while some guys are perfectly fine with that, its best not to get blindsided.
 cutenerd1866
Joined: 7/27/2018
Msg: 99
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What is holding you back
Posted: 9/14/2018 5:28:06 PM

What about the hot gym teacher? There's always a hot male gym teacher at every school, right??


She's female! We got a half time P.E. teacher, but he's very not hot. The other ones who would be considered hot are all married.


But when you go to the Blackhawks games alone, I think there's a little more opportunity.


True.


The reason why she wanted me to make a profile is because I made one for our friend, her male roommate. A shy nice looking guy. I made him one -- and the first gal he met, who was a virgin but I wouldn't have guessed it -- he married. No lie, I swear. I was shocked. Well, I tried to liven things up with virgins getting married off of POF. I know, sounds like Sci-Fi! :) But I swear, it's 100% true. Makes me want to make other people's profiles (she wrote him first; I rubbed that in on him).


Totally sounds like sci-fi. That's pretty crazy. Although that's great evidence for why a guy should write a girl back if she messages you first! You should write other people's profiles. And charge them money if they find someone. You could start over in profile reviews.


But what about "So you're not into your GF/BF anymore and they're doing nothing wrong?" People instead let their what was once mild frustration build over time, and seep out... become difficult, which leads to the other being difficult, and the fire builds... and bad things happen. That's what happens too many times anyway.


Sigh. Good point. Someone should write a book about what to do when that happens. Might prevent a lot of the bad things from happening.
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