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 markjohnson1963
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 51
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Leaving POF for eharmonyPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Well I've forgotten how to quote on here, so I'll just say that the rule doesn't bother me since I won't be spending any money here,or any other dating site... Now if I was paying, I'd be packing my bags just like the Op... Js..
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 52
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/3/2018 11:02:40 PM

Some don't realize that any site is technically being run like a benevolent dictatorship. They allow you on, but you can get tossed off for any reason or whim.

Well, it'd be boring if it wasn't that way. Who wants a boring dating scene? ;)
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 53
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/4/2018 4:50:38 AM
The age limit is a way to limit the amount of messages women get. Some pretty women get overwhelmed with messages. It's not a perfect solution, but better than nothing I guess.
 markjohnson1963
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 54
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/4/2018 5:35:10 PM
In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.

Awww, those poor things.. Maybe they should set their filters... Hahaha..
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 55
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/4/2018 5:48:48 PM
You know that thread about what is creepy? It is right there ^^^

*shudder*
 markjohnson1963
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 56
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/4/2018 9:13:41 PM
In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.




Eh, nothing creepy about the truth...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 57
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/5/2018 12:16:59 AM

The age limit is a way to limit the amount of messages women get. Some pretty women get overwhelmed with messages. It's not a perfect solution, but better than nothing I guess.

I think the problem is, is an Easy + Better solution: Where it'd go by your profile setting's Age Range, as it historically has been, since people don't modify theirs anyway. But instead, when Creating a New profile, it'd Automatically set it to +/- 14. And you can change it.

The only notable (but simple) programming modification would have one's Age Range setting go by two different + and - scales, relative to their own... which would display what those ages currently are, next to it.

And a user could simply edit their settings, and expand or contract them. Easy Peasy.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 59
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/5/2018 10:13:53 AM
^^^^^^^^^^Not a bad idea. However, that makes for a new problem - then it's more complicated.

maybe a Tinder type thing where both people have to like or swipe right before they can send a message.........that would be another way of limiting the amount of emails women get.
 Cloud_Interpreter
Joined: 8/18/2018
Msg: 60
Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/5/2018 12:46:00 PM
Years ago when the +/- 14 years age limit came in to play, people were awfully wound up, and rightly so. As adults we should be able to choose our own age limits.

In a thread commented in by Markus himself, it was suggested that instead of implementing this change, that perhaps making it mandatory for users to choose their own age range when making their profile (and the ability to edit down the line) should be considered.

And Markus being Markus, just ignored the suggestion.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 61
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Posted: 10/5/2018 1:07:54 PM
^^
I was one of the people who made that suggestion. Lots of people did and as you say all of our words fell on deaf ears. Seemed like an easy solution - force people to choose parameters.
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 62
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/7/2018 12:30:43 PM
https://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts16028207.aspx

See Msg 16

It was necessary because old lechers scared off the young girls, who used the mobile app.

The reason Markus hard-coded it, is because the mobile app was taking off and becoming popular with the young'uns.

The mobile app did NOT have functionality for setting age ranges.

Not sure if that has since changed, but i doubt it.

Markus was not crazy about regression testing.

He'd rather just disable a functionality.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 63
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/10/2018 4:57:07 AM


The problem with sites like POF, unlike eHarmony, YOUR preferences are public, where they are not on eHarmony. I believe having preferences public has a negative impact.



A positive of public mail restrictions is you can immediately hit the back button if you see you're not able to message someone. It would be really annoying if you composed a nontrivial message, *then* got a prompt that the user won't accept your message (this happens without warning if they only accept messages from paid users, also if your message is too short). This wouldn't be bad if they had designed it to give the prompt as soon as you press the message button. Instead, they wait until you made your message and hit the send button. Seeing age, distance, etc, saves you time.

The negative impact seems to be women who overthink the age range when they see it in a man's profile. They imagine having to compete with a woman at the youngest end of the range. If his profile doesn't have an age restriction, they don't seem to imagine having to compete with a woman 14 years younger.

One bad thing about Meet Me is people with a distance filter vote yes or maybe on someone who is too far away.

A good feature would be to show search results only if you meet their mail filters. But POF is not going to consider any new functionality, especially since Markus sold to Match.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 64
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/10/2018 7:55:46 AM
That;s kind of like saying you are leaving the Arctic for the Antarctica because you don't like the cold weather.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 65
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/10/2018 11:49:22 AM
When's the departure date?
Will there be a party and cake?
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 66
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/10/2018 12:46:37 PM
Actually the OP might do well on there. Years ago a friend talked me into signing up on eHarmony. They did ask for your age preference, but of the matches they sent to me only one was close to my age. The rest were all at least 14 yrs older than myself. I left their site.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 67
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Posted: 10/10/2018 12:58:00 PM
I got a free sign up with eharmony years ago when my friend signed
up.
After filling out the 9000 question application, they told me they had
no matches for me at the time.

 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 68
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Posted: 10/10/2018 1:57:46 PM

I got a free sign up with eharmony years ago when my friend signed
up.
After filling out the 9000 question application, they told me they had
no matches for me at the time.


Wow, and you seem like such a nice person.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 69
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/10/2018 2:02:06 PM

Actually the OP might do well on there. Years ago a friend talked me into signing up on eHarmony. They did ask for your age preference, but of the matches they sent to me only one was close to my age. The rest were all at least 14 yrs older than myself. I left their site.


I got a ton of matches, but I had no limits on geographic distance.

You can read that as either open minded or desperate.

I think nearly all of them were similar age, though unless someone is obviously way younger / older, I don't pay that much attention to age. I recall two who were way younger, one I was fairly convinced was some type of scam.
 ontheotherhand
Joined: 6/24/2018
Msg: 70
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/10/2018 3:16:19 PM

I got a free sign up with eharmony years ago when my friend signed
up.
After filling out the 9000 question application, they told me they had
no matches for me at the time.


Wow, I'd have thought you'd have gotten much better matches them I did. That you didn't get any shocks me. Maybe they thought I was dumb enough to accept their offering, but you weren't?
 RefinedRibbon
Joined: 10/6/2011
Msg: 71
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/17/2018 12:47:08 PM
I tried that site everyone gets interested then they don't have time many the people are to busy so why would you go to it just a waste of time.
 flyover_boy
Joined: 12/28/2016
Msg: 72
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/18/2018 11:45:39 AM

A positive of public mail restrictions is you can immediately hit the back button if you see you're not able to message someone. It would be really annoying if you composed a nontrivial message, *then* got a prompt that the user won't accept your message (this happens without warning if they only accept messages from paid users, also if your message is too short). This wouldn't be bad if they had designed it to give the prompt as soon as you press the message button. Instead, they wait until you made your message and hit the send button. Seeing age, distance, etc, saves you time.


There are other ‘hidden controls’ on POF. For example, you can write an email to another ‘yellow dot’ person, only to be told once you send it, ‘this person has chosen to receive emails only from (yellow dot) members.’ And, be sure not to use words like ‘Skype’ ‘video chat,’ or some other apps, or your email won’t go through...check your send folder.

I continue to believe that email restrictions are an inherent negative when public. Might be a solution never to see people you can’t email, you have to sign in to email anyway.

eHarmony had an active message board a number a years ago, and we discussed many of the same ideas and concepts as here. And, the subject of age and selection was as heated as here. The overarching theme on eHarmony is one of a matching system based on ‘traditionalism,’ less on personal passions many may have in the Wild. Traditionalism is often used more pejoratively than as a natural tendency or even ‘natural bias.’ Smoking cigarettes has a TENDENCY to lead to lung cancer, doesn’t mean you WILL get it if you smoke or you WON’T if you don’t. It was based on studies of long lasting couples and a series of tendencies and patterns within.

Academic critics have complained their ‘special sauce’ has never been open for peer review. eHarmony has counterclaimed the evidence and study data is proprietary. We do have personal observations and experiences, I can only speak to mine and those of what I’ve been told. Under this umbrella of ‘traditionalism’ that dreaded topic of age produced many heated threads over there. There appears an agreement, that the system has a ‘natural bias,’ to push couples with older males, younger females. While you can set preferences, it will continue to ‘favor’ matches within those parameters. For example, a 45 year old woman sets her age settings to 40-50 and ‘very important.’ She never receives a daily match over 50 or under 40. But, occasionally might receive a ‘smile face,’ or email from a ‘What If’ match outside this setting. But, women have noted they tend to be on the older side than younger. I have observed the same. When I was in my early 40‘s, I had my match settings 30-40, ‘very important.’ I NEVER received a match over 40. In ‘What If,’ I never did either, but I did see some into their late 20‘s. Back to our 45 year old lady, how do we know she saw all potential matches 45 to 40 ? Now...was it system doing this or private settings of her perspective matches ?

Meeting my eHarmony matches, they are different from all the other dozen or so sites I’ve been on over the years in the sense, they are kinda the ‘friend I don’t know.’ There was an ease meeting them, more so than on other sites...as a broad generality. However, in female led communication, where women initiate, I closed all of mine. While the vast majority of emails from POF I delete/block, the odds of female initiated communication for me, are probably the highest. This is also somewhat mirrored at MATCH too.

Being a 'matching service’ it gives a very different kind of feedback and traffic flow than most other sites. For women, it can be a foreign experience. You pay for this matching service, get your six matches for the day only to sign on to your account and find out two have closed you. Guys get that kind of feedback everywhere in life, but it’s different for women. That, plus, nobody will get 'tons of emails,’ because it’s a closed system. The slow traffic flow, compared to other sites, even in populated areas, another different experience for women. Some people, and not just women, like this filter. A profile on POF is public, anybody with that link can see...anywhere/anytime. With eHarmony...they have to be YOUR match...and a current/open one. Many prefer to have a dating site and their profile not available to every Tom,****and Harry or Mary Jane Joan for the world to see.

The ‘Match Family,’ if you will, spawned off another service called ‘Chemistry.’ Very similar to eHarmony in functionality, but prides itself on a ‘different kind’ of matching. What I’ve experienced, is they may look for general compatibilities, but pepper in stark differences...that’s where the sparks come in and add excitement, as maybe one explanation may go. Official reviews label it as more ‘professional women’ and eHarmony more ‘serious’ or ‘marriage minded,’ matching. Personally, a simple contrast I might come up with is; ‘Chemistry’ matches were more overtly opinionated, where ‘eHarmony’ matches were covertly head strong.

To the criticisms...

- ‘Dead matches’ one of the biggest criticisms. People who were paying members before are no longer, but they match you with them. You don’t know they are non-paying current members. They can’t communicate with you until they pay. They use you as ‘bait’ to get them to subscribe.

- Auto Renew - Close second on the b-list. You sign up for a month, three or six, and the system will automatically renew you. Automatic billing is becoming common place; Tivo, Netflix and cell bills. But, you can cancel every month, here your term is renewed. The solution...cancel as soon as you sign up, and subscription will expire at the end.

- Limited matches. Even in large cities, and even in the prime age brackets, the traffic will be far less than any open site; i.e. POF.

- Spammers/Fake Profiles. They have them there too, and eHarmony will close matches they don’t like for you. It’s gotten a little worse over recent years, and should be corrected at the paying steps; i.e. matching your address, payment method and so on.

- 'Free Communication Events’ Taking the test and creating a profile is free. They will send you matches, but if you don’t pay, you can’t communicate with them. So, they lift that during certain periods. While you can communicate during this time with people (and email right from the get go) you may not see their pictures without paying. When the event ends, all these freeloaders are in the matching system and this helps create more of the dreaded ‘dead matches.’

I don’t think you can make a judgment on one site unless you’ve tried all the majors, maybe a dozen or so. My personal experience and opinion is, after some ten years with all them, including Tinder, is, eHarmony would go at the top of my list. POF, while not the bottom, would be towards the bottom. MATCH, I was initially very critical about, as they are similar to POF, I now find far more favorable than before. The age parameters on POF, sure are limiting, but it’s more of a personal taste issue with how those sites are set up. POF and the like are more of the electronic bar scene. Emailing BS small talk doesn’t do it for me.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 73
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Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/18/2018 12:31:07 PM
Having been on and off dating sites for a few years. I was on POF, OKC, Match, and zoosk...

OKC was like the pof rejects and i couldnt find attractive women on there in my area at all.

POF was ok , i had lots of dates but it was either women with no ambition, single moms, crap jobs, no long term matches.

Match, i met one women, who was crazy and stalked me and threatened death to me .

Zoosk was IMO the best, I dont know why as teh site itself is horrible, but i met some great women on there , and that is where I met my wife.

She was new to it and pressured by girlfriends to go on. she went on reluctantly and i just signed up after being off it for a couple years. We chatted, met, and the rest is history.

The good thing about online dating is that you can meet someone that you would never otherwise meet in your day to day life.
The bad thing is that you have to go through tons and tons of throwbacks and defective products.
 bearcat44
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 74
Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/19/2018 10:17:36 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVXdxaaRiAU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pPGijYBaVE&t=95s
 bearcat44
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 75
Leaving POF for eharmony
Posted: 10/19/2018 5:18:54 PM
Time to WAKE UP:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVXdxaaRiAU&t=87s


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pPGijYBaVE




Time to WAKE UP:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVXdxaaRiAU&t=87s


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pPGijYBaVE
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