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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 26
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wants to date or relationship?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

I have only went on 3 dates since ending it and 2 mentioned moving in on the first date! the third didn't ask but the writing was on the wall. you failed to include the not hardly part when quoting me, it is far from an ego boost and actually fairly depressing to keep picking hopeless people.

Okay just data from 3 dates. Still odd results, but this makes more realistic sense VS 3 years (36) months of dating, having 36 first dates, them all falling for you like crazy on the 1st date.

Still odd though that 2 out of the 3 were like that. Were you pen-paling for a while due to schedule conflicts and such? I can see how things are amped up much like you'd see on a 3rd date if the two people were wanting to meet but couldn't, and talked deep a ton for a few weeks before ever meeting.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 27
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wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/24/2018 7:39:06 PM
Hey John, I have not detected any arrogance nor do I get the impression, you think you are "God's gift and all". My take on things is completely from another angle.

I suspect you are heading in the right direction, when you suggest these women have experienced more losers than winners. THAT suggests the women who find you appealing are looking to be fixed / rescued. They seek "The knight in shining armor.".
May I suggest when contact is made / when you ask questions / when they tell you their story, LISTEN.

IF he, (whoever he was to her, her ex) was the bad guy, cheated on her, mistreated her, etc etc. THAT is your cue to move on. A woman in need of fixin' will have a sob story.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 28
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wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/24/2018 7:56:25 PM
my comments are mainly about 6 or 7 years ago, I purposely put dating to avoid a repeat. the current dates are just an amped up version of the past. not so sure they were falling for me like crazy but always moving towards relationship status instantly. the recent dates were clearly women wanting a sugar daddy while the ones from the past seemed to be more of needing a replacement husband. most met up early on and would prefer knowing right away if that is their game. why get lied to for 3 weeks?
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 29
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wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/24/2018 8:06:07 PM
ladyinred, wasn't accusing, just don't want anyone thinking it was arrogance. many guys would brag about that but I see it for what it is (or isn't) and yes, most were seeking their night in shining armor. while I played that role well more than once, past experience has showed me those needing saved will ALWAYS be needing saved from something.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 30
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wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/25/2018 5:20:38 AM
It sounds like you dated a couple of crazy ones. There are plenty of them on these websites.

But 3 dates is not very many, not enough of a sample to determine anything. Come back after you have met 20 women. If you are still having a problem, maybe we can see a pattern then.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 31
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/25/2018 6:41:34 AM
I'm going to be super honest, from what you have posted and I have read in my limited time here, you sound like a genuine, sincere person. Now I'm going to put my self in the shoes of some random woman online looking for a sugar daddy or something of the likes...I look at your pics and think...this guy sitting in his arm chair looking bored out of his skull will probably take me out for chicken wings and a beer and let me move in with him
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 32
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wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/25/2018 7:48:53 AM
better pics are needed, will get some next week when camping in the mountains. my old profile had pics of me on camping trips, mountain tops, vanning events and outdoor adventures. despite that, most had no interest in any of those activities. far from desperate to find my soul mate, but would like to weed out the users or instant relationships and date 'real' people that may or may not develop into more.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 33
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/25/2018 8:01:18 AM
My efforts on here of posting interesting pictures are pretty much useless , but still would rather make an effort just in case
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 34
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Posted: 9/25/2018 8:11:58 AM
most men viewing the bikini pics will not even notice the beach. but yes, make the effort for the few that do. I have no current pics so I will add them as I get them.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 35
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/25/2018 8:16:17 AM
I hope you enjoy the trip, and don't forget to take some pictures :)
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 36
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Posted: 9/25/2018 8:22:28 AM
forgot on the last 3 trips. might be able to get friends pics of past events but hate group photos on a public forum.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 37
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/25/2018 8:27:25 AM
Any thing would be better than you looking bored off your rocker, in your recliner...I say this as random internet aquaintence :)
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 38
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Posted: 9/25/2018 10:39:41 AM

Now I'm going to put my self in the shoes of some random woman online looking for a sugar daddy or something of the likes...I look at your pics and think...this guy sitting in his arm chair looking bored out of his skull will probably take me out for chicken wings and a beer and let me move in with him


- haha! He looks like easy pickins, huh?!
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 39
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 6:02:53 AM
It certainly isn't my mindset that John looks like easy pickins' and I'm not saying all the women he dated looked at him this way, BUT given his experiences I would do everything possible to avoid coming across that way.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 40
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 6:11:50 AM
I think there are clever and polite ways of expressing negatives that you,want to avoid.
So John wants to avoid any future experiences like his previous ones...so john could say he's an independent guy, who,enjoys x,y,z looking for an independent women to share quality time with and take their time getting to know each other.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 41
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 6:30:08 AM
John, I'm not picking on you one bit. I just learned the hard way many years ago with a man who could tell certain things about me from my profile...wooed the heck out of me on date one, saying he wanted to take care of me and how I deserved a good man.... After a restraining order, and loaning him $ which I never got back, later....lesson learned
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 42
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Posted: 9/26/2018 8:35:02 AM
a better profile may help. I am selective on who I message and only message those that (going by profile) would be a good match. the ones that are ideal, not just for me but I fit what their looking for, they never even view my profile.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 43
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Posted: 9/26/2018 9:24:36 AM
Never give them money before the third date!
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 44
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 9:29:24 AM
Hey, thanks Hemmingway...no shit, this was some one who took advantage of my situation, terminally ill mom and was my biggest fan, and bided his time to take advantage of the situation.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 45
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 9:35:13 AM
I'm only posting on Eeyore's (my new nick name for our friend's thread) because I don't want to see him taken advantage of
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 46
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Posted: 9/26/2018 10:16:09 AM
I can't wait to see what nickname you'll give me........ wow, just wow ;)
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 47
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 10:18:28 AM
You are just Hemmingway, which is a quite satisfactory and nice name for you :)
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 48
wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 10:22:42 AM
It is very impolite of me to have high jacked Eeyore's thread who I am rooting for more than you could imagine !
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 49
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wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 11:26:06 AM

I have read comments on here that 'wants to date/nothing serious' is viewed as hookups or players. is this how it is perceived?


Not to me. I perceive it as the person wants to meet someone and just see where it goes. Nothing becomes serious until the people in the relationship decides it does, and like you said, that takes more than just a few dates. I don't take those "intents" that serious anyway. There are numerous people that don't even remember what they put as their "intent" unless you point it out to them.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 50
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wants to date or relationship?
Posted: 9/26/2018 1:24:52 PM
Ok, back on topic. It is true that we "date" to find long term relationships. So, I think women saying "dating" = player is just a knee-jerk reaction. You might do better by putting "long term". However, you might also get a few more women with issues?
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