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 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 51
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Lack of effort/common sense in profilesPage 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I was reading your interests and it does list "boating", good.... but no other interests related to boating? I mean, that's all you do is drive round on the boat? I was thinking, maybe you should list other boating related interests in your profile, maybe you will turn up in some guy's search?

I'm thinking related interests might be beach, shelling, fishing, parasailing, sailing, diving, crabing, swimming, scuba, kiteboarding, etc.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 52
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/26/2018 1:24:31 PM
Any one who was a boater would get me...if I need to spoon feed some one then they aren't a boater !
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 53
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/26/2018 1:31:25 PM
Yes, boaters basically just drive around in their boats and hang out some where nice, just like bikers, drive around on their motorcycles and go to certain destinations ...
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 54
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/26/2018 1:32:35 PM
She lists several other interests related to boating: anchoring in shallow water, outrunning a storm, etc.

With the interest search taken away years ago, searchable interests aren't important. Creative long fun interests are my favorite to read, so those specific boat interests probably make a good impression.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 55
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/26/2018 5:33:15 PM
why do you bother worrying about dating site profiles? They are so often just false....
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 56
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/27/2018 1:03:06 PM
Sadly , it is more supply and demand than anything else. Due to ratio's and "thirst" men have to put much more effort in general than women. I don't look down on a women who gets a lot of messages by her lack of profile effort. Why should she? Working smart more valuable than working harder.

That being said, I disagree with Henry a bit. I think he has figured it out better than most. For example he knows being in a large metro area is an advantage for men, have decent pics, etc. But a GOOD well written interesting profile is probably the best investment of effort that a guy can make. Just good photo's will get men only so far and the type of women who would just go for photo's isn't going to have the attention span needed to form a successful LTR. After all , there will always be better photo's just around the bend, maybe!

This isn't meant bout any forum member specifically but many men who think they are putting the proper effort in writing their profiles aren't writing it based on what would actually interest a women to read it and respond. The typical "resume"-"interview" profile has ONE very limiting factor about it...(wait for it!)..it is utterly and completely boring and doesn't help form an attraction. Women will respond favorably if they feel attracted to you. They want to know what type of nut job you are and what stimulates you. They really don't respond to profiles about the fact you have 2 brothers, a dog, a job and your occupation and how you wanna a relationship. Sure they say they do but emotionally
it isn't stimulating and tickling those emotions is much more important. I say this because I see plenty of articulate, charming posters who could really do much better if they would stop the resume type profiles.
Once they figure that out they might be surprised that the hunter has become the hunted!

P.S. -men with little babies in photo's or babies mentioned in profiles actually can come across creepy to women(you know who you are lol).
P.S. # 2- When you stop the resume type profiles you can really have fun because women will have a lot to talk to you about. Women profiles that are sassy and fun also are a delight.

Those of you might remember when I had this really bad profile displayed that was a satire of me being a completely sexist misogynistic **stard. Here is a little secret...I had more women initiating with me , than any other profile I used , who totally loved it and couldn't decide if I was for real or not, but they didn't care! More your profile drags them into it, the more attachment that is formed. Attachment increases chance of attraction. I took it down due to too many death threats..LOLOLL
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 57
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/27/2018 7:18:17 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^fantastic stuff. Nice to see you here again my old friend.
 Nathan38416
Joined: 11/18/2017
Msg: 58
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 1:12:25 PM

I guess my frustration is getting the better of me. Why be on a dating site if you aren't going to make an effort or use a bit of common sense.Most of the messages I get are generic, saying they want to know more about me...Maybe read through my very long list of interests and spark up a conversation? Then I look at their profile and it says "just ask" it's mind boggling :(


I generally do make the effort to write a message using things off they're profile if it's got something on it I can use as a conversation starter and end it by saying I'd like to get to know them better. The problem is that most women don't reply to those messages, so I understand why guys go with the generic approach. I think it's a waste of time, spending ten minutes coming up with a good first message that is about taking interest in that person only for it go ignored and unanswered. So it's understandable why guys don't put in any effort. They've tried that and didn't get anywhere, so now they're taking the easy route.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 59
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:32:50 PM
@Hemingway: Thanks bud, you are a gentleman!

I generally do make the effort to write a message using things off they're profile if it's got something on it I can use as a conversation starter and end it by saying I'd like to get to know them better. The problem is that most women don't reply to those messages, so I understand why guys go with the generic approach. I think it's a waste of time, spending ten minutes coming up with a good first message that is about taking interest in that person only for it go ignored and unanswered. So it's understandable why guys don't put in any effort. They've tried that and didn't get anywhere, so now they're taking the easy route.


Exactly correct! Not only a big waste of time, in general, but the rejection probably stings more since so much effort was made. Some idealists don't wanna hear it, but it is really a numbers game for guys. Always has been even before internet dating. 10 minute messages will just leave one with less prospects.

But that isn't the worst thing. Worst thing is the "TIME VAMPIRES". If you write a really great message a women might just string you along for the entertainment or to be polite. When you send the most basic message you get the satisfaction that she really must be interested since she didn't run away!

That being said, much better time management to make a great profile since you will use it over and over.

Tip: be very descriptive. The burger doesn't taste good. The burger is juicy and mouth watering delicious. Sometimes it is just the way we use the words!
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 60
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:38:08 PM

The burger is juicy and mouth watering delicious


Ahhh spoken like a true big bad wolf!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 61
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:51:06 PM
^^^^^YO RED!!!!
 Nathan38416
Joined: 11/18/2017
Msg: 62
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 4:06:17 PM

But that isn't the worst thing. Worst thing is the "TIME VAMPIRES". If you write a really great message a women might just string you along for the entertainment or to be polite. When you send the most basic message you get the satisfaction that she really must be interested since she didn't run away!


I've had that once with someone I got on really well with and to be honest it was pretty awful when she just ghosted me afterwards. I felt like I'd done something wrong. After months of talking we finally arranged a date and a week before it she blocked me on here and Facebook. I should have checked out the second time I asked her out on a date and she said she wanted to talk for a little while longer, but she was cool and I thought I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Now I won't. If I suspect someone is stringing me along, I'll just stop talking to them.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 63
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 4:24:34 PM

be very descriptive. The burger doesn't taste good. The burger is juicy and mouth watering delicious. Sometimes it is just the way we use the words!


I don't care what words you use.

Just give me the damn burger !!
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 64
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 4:32:04 PM

I should have checked out the second time I asked her out on a date and she said she wanted to talk for a little while longer, but she was cool and I thought I'll give her the benefit of the doubt

I agree with your Monday morning quarterbacking on this one.

Now I won't. If I suspect someone is stringing me along, I'll just stop talking to them.

Yup.

Men and women will want to talk more, get to know you more, blah blah blah. They will sidestep your efforts to actually move forward and meet. Even if it is agreed that it will be 100% casual - no harm, no foul. If a person seems all gung ho but won't meet you have to ask ... why? Are they just playing around? Lying about something and an actual meeting would reveal their lies? Life is short. Too short to waste on time vampires.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 65
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/30/2018 7:18:46 AM


But that isn't the worst thing. Worst thing is the "TIME VAMPIRES". If you write a really great message a women might just string you along for the entertainment or to be polite. When you send the most basic message you get the satisfaction that she really must be interested since she didn't run away!


Well said!
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 66
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Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/30/2018 9:55:35 AM
^^^^^x2!! keep it simple, it all starts with hello. you see my pic, you know I am interested. respond back or move on.
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