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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Should i delete most of my pics?      Home login  
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 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 26
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Should i delete most of my pics?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

As much as I would like to chat with others, I don't think its worth being scrutinized by strangers who are clearly more skilled at making feeling feel unwelcome on forums like this...I suppose some need to feel like a big fish in a small pond :)


Welcome to the forums section. It's always refreshing to get new faces here. Now if you feel like you're being scrutinized, it's most likely how what you're saying is being interpreted.

There's no intent to make you feel unwelcome. It just takes time to feel out our different personalities. Just hang in there and keep plugging away.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 27
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 4:11:47 AM
I realize that it has pretty much become a sport to make snarky comments to strangers on line these days. I realize things can also be misinterpreted, and some people are just looking for an argument. I appreciate some of the advice I got but think my frustration is too high to deal with what I consider lack of common sense on the dating site.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 28
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 4:26:48 AM
Just to clear up any confusion. I realize a lot of men only look at pictures, so I wondered if I only had my main pic, would it force people to read my profile?

By saying I wasn't looking for unwanted attention, I meant that I didn't post boating/bikini pics to show off, rather to catch the attention of some one who is also a boater.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 29
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 5:00:54 AM

would it force people to read my profile?

As a general rule? Nope. A few of us have done this experiment. Photos are really all that matter to most. Profile content is moot. If a person (man or woman) is what could be considered conventionally attractive they will receive contact messages regardless of what they do or don't say in the body and stats of the profile. Sad but true.

Are the messages worth a darn? Not usually. Lots of quantity and very little quality.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 30
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 5:06:45 AM
A lot of the guys will just carpet bomb with messages and not read the profiles, and give lame comments. On the other hand, some guys rarely get messages.......so some ladies get too many messages, some guys not enough - what this means is, welcome to reality........everybody has problems, lol

You need two pics....... a headshot and a body shot. The extra pictures you have won't help or hurt.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 31
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 5:46:31 AM
I guess it's just disappointing to post some interesting pictures that paint a picture of my life, and think that some one would be able to strike up a conversation based on that...nope!
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 32
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 6:02:20 AM
Here's a question...if it's established that most people only look at pictures, then why do so many men only post multiple similar selfies? It's not very interesting and doesn't make me dash to my keyboard ;)
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 33
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 8:11:28 AM
Pay no attention to the nit-pickers and those who want to find fault with everything. Your pics are just fine. And you have a valid question. However, it's my opinion that the more skin ya show, the more probability you'll get responses from knuckle draggers....it is what it is. But with your lifestyle, beach and boating, it's understandable why you'd wanna show some skin...no matter what ya look like.....after all, it's part of the boating and beach lifestyle. Doubt you would be able to paint as convincing a picture of your lifestyle standing on the beach or on a boat wearing a button down Victorian dress or a head-to-toe burlap potato sack.
 SS4544Spd
Joined: 8/31/2016
Msg: 34
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 8:13:23 AM
Captainkitty writes:
Here's a question...if it's established that most people only look at pictures, then why do so many men only post multiple similar selfies? It's not very interesting and doesn't make me dash to my keyboard ;)
But if you're viewing said selfies, aren't you already at your keyboard?
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 35
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/25/2018 8:36:50 AM
Ss4 something. I love you...yes, I'm obviously already waiting at my keyboard...just saying I'm never enticed to actually use it to respond to most messages or profiles ;)
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 36
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/26/2018 8:04:58 AM
Keep the pics. The men who write good messages will stand out from the generic ones who compliment your face or body or outfit. Someone who knows boats or the beaches in your area might include details about the boat / beach in his message, for example he might say he goes to that beach a few times a year, or how he likes your boat because it only consumes 10 gallons per mile unlike his boat which consumes 20 gallons per mile.

I pay attention to details in photos, for example the ones on the water, the more appealing ones are at the places I frequent. Some places are more likely high maintenance. I happen to prefer the "redneck yacht clubs". Same with pets: some people prefer bigger dogs or ones that are probably from a shelter. A picture says 1000 words, more efficient than writing a novel, and the picture can trigger subconscious reactions, both good and bad.

One "bad" thing people often do in beach / boat photos is keep on their sunglasses and hats. Best to remove them for a profile photo. Next time you take a good photo on the beach / boat without sunglasses, you could delete a sunglasses photo and replace with the newer one showing your eyes (or eye if your hair covers one eye again).



Here's a question...if it's established that most people only look at pictures, then why do so many men only post multiple similar selfies? It's not very interesting and doesn't make me dash to my keyboard ;)


It probably works for the best looking men. If women like his "bone structure", "symmetry", dark eyebrows, or whatever women typically find appealing, he will get responses and he has no need to have interesting photos. I know some dudes who have regular success here and on Tinder with little effort.

If she doesn't think he's good looking, or if he's not tall enough or his profession doesn't sound appealing, it doesn't matter if his photo has perfect lighting and composition in a perfect setting. These forums seem to have many gentlemen who follow all the supposed correct rules for profiles, yet have little to no success.

There's not much middle ground where she would reject him if he had a selfie, but approve if he had a quality photo.
 captainkitty1
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 37
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/26/2018 8:13:51 AM
River Rat, I understand your comments, but the last thing on my mind while having fun boating if some one takes a picture is whether this is suitable for online dating purposes...hence the selfie I took with out a hat or sunglasses just after I got my hair done :)
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 38
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/26/2018 6:16:20 PM
Looks like more than the OP's pics have been deleted...
 sun_water
Joined: 5/26/2018
Msg: 39
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/26/2018 9:59:10 PM

Looks like more than the OP's pics have been deleted.

Not surprised she deleted her profile. She sounded frustrated with internet dating based on what she wrote on various threads. She was also unhappy she didn't get the answers that she wanted.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 40
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/27/2018 4:11:10 AM
So much for captain hooker! Yeah, I get frustrated too..... but I'm still here. Help! lol

But anyway, what she was looking for was unrealistic........it's hard enough to find a normal match, mutual attraction, good attitudes and not too many problems in a person, the things that REALLY matter. Trying to find a carbon copy of yourself is a pipe dream. She was in La-la land.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 41
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/27/2018 10:08:00 AM

So much for captain hooker! Yeah, I get frustrated too..... but I'm still here. Help! lol


That was nasty. I think it's because of judgmental remarks like this that the OP didn't feel welcome here. Way to go.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 42
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/27/2018 1:04:35 PM

Given my weight/ height appropriate body description...I'm going to give up on this site and go buy a giant bag of potato chips and binge watch some tv :)





I think it's because of judgmental remarks like this that the OP didn't feel welcome here. Way to go.


I'm sorry she's gone, I was with her right up until she posted the above regarding body description and bag of chips.
That was totally unnecessary as well.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 43
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/27/2018 7:14:19 PM

That was nasty. I think it's because of judgmental remarks like this that the OP didn't feel welcome here. Way to go.


- you are right, I should not have said that, I apologize.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 44
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/27/2018 8:06:04 PM

She was also unhappy she didn't get the answers that she wanted.


She also shot down every suggestion that came her way.
 whiterose0
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 45
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/27/2018 8:34:00 PM

I'm sorry she's gone, I was with her right up until she posted the above regarding body description and bag of chips.
That was totally unnecessary as well.


I think she was just joking about the bag of chips. She did put a smiley face at the end.
 MeramecRiverRat
Joined: 10/12/2017
Msg: 46
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/28/2018 4:30:28 AM


She also shot down every suggestion that came her way.



Most if not everyone suggested she keep her photos, and I believe she kept her photos, so she didn't shoot down all those suggestions in this thread.

Her profile was excellent and didn't need any changes. She reminded me of OzSeaLady, a well liked forumite.

It's unnerving someone would delete their profile when their profile suggests they're mentally stable and happy. Some might wonder how many other people on dating sites seem healthy on their profile, but actually have issues. Might be one reason people get ghosted or ignored: the other person has a fit of depression or rage.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 47
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/28/2018 7:03:59 AM

Are the messages worth a darn? Not usually. Lots of quantity and very little quality.

Miss Spot I am inclined to agree with you. Even if a guy sends a really good message and gets a reply it may not mean much because she might not actually be thrilled with him about anything past that 1st message.
I did do the experiments:
If a well thought out message gave me a reply rate of 35%(it is the toughest market in internet dating so give me some slack here) and a "Hi There :)"gave me a 28% reply rate. Since it is 5x quicker to send the " Hi there :)", working smarter says don't waste time with messages. Even a "Wow, nice lips" will work sometimes when sincere and to the right lady.


Profile content is moot.

I agree partly with that statement. I believe it close to 100% that it doesn't matter much what women say in profile BUT an interesting profile will lead to better chats.
For men the GOOD news is a profile can make a difference. Not sure in response rates how it plays out but in having women initiate it matters IMO. Women often will start the ball rolling if they really enjoyed your profile. They won't do it just for pictures nearly as often(the top 10% those elusive creatures might say otherwise).

I tried the boring "resume" type profile. Didn't get that many attractive women initiating and when they did it was just the typical "I like your pic bs stuff".

Tried the "lets use my profession/uniform to try get girls approach(GET LAID?Nah that is wrong :)". Sure I got the badge bunny groupies who cruise my area and it is an ego boost to boot since they tend to be VERY young(no age censorship back then). But I got a HELL a lot of haters initiating just to say " All____ are do%ch#B#g(live in a liberal city). I swear for every admirer I got stalked by haters trying to take out their sad life on me. I was stressed out LOL. Should have went FD, less haters.

Then I tried the non serious, emotional type profiles. WOW, I couldn't believe it. I could say anything. Be a nut job, be sexist, it didn't really matter what I said as long as "I didn't give a hoot". It got to the point where I never sent a greeting message again. Didn't need to at all. Way more than I could handle(largest metro area in the Western world which means everything is compounded..both success and failure). Women would write me saying " I never thought I would send someone a message 1st" and a score of different versions of that message. Heck they were saying things that men are warned not to send lol.

It was a learning experience but I conferred with others that had similar profiles like Cowboy(RIP)..they had similar results. Sadly most guys still listen to Markus(pof owner) on how to write a good profile and worst they listen to what other women tell them. Women who don't attract other hetero women!

Be daring!
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 48
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/28/2018 1:39:13 PM

Miss Spot I am inclined to agree with you

Oh, Joseph you do know how to turn a lady's head.
*bats lashes and flips hair*
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 49
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/28/2018 2:01:36 PM

I guess it's just disappointing


With OLD, disappointment will be your closest friend.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 50
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Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/28/2018 4:00:35 PM

And you, Miss Spot, are a fine southern lady!

On that note, I grew up hearing misery loves company . I ended up learning crazy has company!

Yours truly,
Joey, me, myself, and I
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