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 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 101
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
NG seems to think his word is gospel and that everyone thinks like him in many topics, not just the whole "Brad Pitt" nonsense. People aren't going to respond well if you accuse them of lying because they don't think similarly to you. Not everyone follows the same standard of beauty or is starry-eyed over celebrities - that should be common sense.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 102
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 11:26:46 AM
Ohenry...

First up, he (ng456) was not talking to you, or about you, his words were part of an exchange with adventurejoe. Secondly, he was making a very broad, very general statement, which was not intended to be taken as criticism of any one person. And most definitely not you.

Maybe it's because NG is ALWAYS trying to explain why we're wrong. "We" being whoever his group de jour is at the moment (though it is usually females).


I do believe that what ng said is basically correct, and will apply to the majority of cases. But that does not mean every case, and I’m sure he wasn’t intending any reference to you or any other particular person.

Because he uses a lot of extraneous words to explain his take when you or I or almost anyone else on the board could explain in less than 10 words. Reminds me of the scene in The Great Train Robbery where the prosecution is asking him (as the ringleader) this long, convoluted question... "Did you or did you not, on the aforementioned day, with or without malice aforethought, and with the..." that goes on for several minutes. Sean Connery's response is "Could you repeat that?" Since I'm not in the stand, I simply wait for someone else to recap what NG has said.

I'm not crazy about Brad Pitt - not even in his early years but give me a young Harrison Ford, Daniel Day-Lewis, or Donald Sutherland and I'm on board. Heck, those three have actually aged pretty well.

However, it could be that women are more generally attracted to the entire person while men can forgive a vast variety of sins for what they consider a good body.

As for hottest women ever on screen -- yeah, either Barbarella or Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 103
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 11:43:02 AM
ohenryx
Women, on the other hand, seem to really hate it when someone says that “all women are hot for (insert name of movie star or public figure here)”. Yes, just another sign that men and women are indeed different. Who woulda thunk it?

We are not taking offense to his general statements....we are taking offense at the implication that we are lying when we say something that doesn't support his ramblings.

NG
-- I'd get interrupted with "Oh, I don't think he's that good looking." First, this isn't a non-Anglo country thing. Second, I call BS on it, too.


This is just one example....and we women folk are just kind of tired of it!!
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 104
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 1:51:48 PM

However, it could be that women are more generally attracted to the entire person while men can forgive a vast variety of sins for what they consider a good body.

I'm more lenient about height, income, education level etc. Things that are important to many women. However I would not have a serious relationship with a woman that is an airhead or has major personality flaws.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 105
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 3:24:20 PM

For example, I can understand someone voting for Trump because they thought he would be good with the economy or they hated HRC more than him. But voting for Trump because they liked his rhetoric could be a dealbreaker for me.

I wouldn't even go there in the beginning. Political views are really private info, that's why we go into closed booths. In recent years it became a trend to loudly declare yours, but nobody has to, at all.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 106
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 5:25:31 PM
Maybe it’s just me, but I believe there is a big difference between accusing someone of lying and “calling BS”. Kinda sorta in the same direction, yes, but a different order of magnitude, if you get my drift.

Whiterose (whom I usually agree with) first used the word “lying”, and then siisaa followed by MsMicki. Although to be fair, MsMicki did say “implication that we are lying”. I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree on this one.


2ufo
I'm not crazy about Brad Pitt - not even in his early years but give me a young Harrison Ford, Daniel Day-Lewis, or Donald Sutherland and I'm on board. Heck, those three have actually aged pretty well.

A lot of women seemed to think Sean Connery had aged extremely well. That is, until he made the comment that women needed to be smacked around occasionally. Talk about someone losing his sex appeal in a hurry! (smile)


As for hottest women ever on screen -- yeah, either Barbarella or Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C.

Raquel Welch never really did it for me. Not that she wasn’t beautiful, sexy, and very desirable, she just never really got close to the top of my list. Now you take Michelle Pfeiffer in Hollywood Knights, not only did I lust for her, but at the exact same time I wanted to cherish her and protect her from all evil. Especially men like me. Talk about mixed feelings!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 107
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 6:12:28 PM

Easy there, MsMicki! I do believe you are overreacting a bit. First up, he (ng456) was not talking to you, or about you, his words were part of an exchange with adventurejoe. Secondly, he was making a very broad, very general statement, which was not intended to be taken as criticism of any one person. And most definitely not you.

Correct. I wasn't calling BS on Everyone who thinks Brad Pitt's unattractive -- nor was that targetted at any individual. It's similar as many guys not liking an actress (due rubbing some people the wrong way by how she is IRL or particular roles she plays in movies/tv) and taking it to she's Not good looking, when, sorry guys -- there's no way on Gawd's green earth all of you think she's not good Looking at all, if she walked in the bar (or a doppleganger did).

and Henry.....it's a point....
he just refuses to take anyone's word as their truth....

I think you're the one jumping to conclusions. It was pretty apparent that it was "ko0l" to say Brad Pitt wasn't good looking. Way overdone Trend. When there is such a faux trend like that, it doesn't mean there aren't a few individuals who wouldn't find their body/face physically attractive when the rubber meats the road. But instead, I was razzing the silly (faux) trend.

NG seems to think his word is gospel and that everyone thinks like him in many topics,

I really don't know where this is coming from in this thread. Me pointing out the trend that stuck out quite apparently for gals to say that Brad Pitt isn't good looking, is a cry that my word is gospel truth? Now, if it was instead commonly said "He's nice looking of course, sure, but, no, I don't think he's some big hottie; I can name a lot of actors hotter than he" -- then that would be completely Different.

I don't know why people are taking such offense to this, me pointing out that trend to say Brad isn't good looking at all, and saying it's not accurate overall. Some people are reacting as if I'm not only talking To Them, but I'm telling Them specifically that they're still into their Ex or something - lol.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 108
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 6:14:37 PM

I wouldn't even go there in the beginning. Political views are really private info, that's why we go into closed booths. In recent years it became a trend to loudly declare yours, but nobody has to, at all.

OTOH when someone has extreme viewpoints (left, right, or other), it can be good to know that sooner than later so I wouldn't have to waste much time, money, or energy on getting to know that person.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 109
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 6:55:23 PM

It was pretty apparent that it was "ko0l" to say Brad Pitt wasn't good looking.

apparent to who??? I had no idea I was being "kool" to not think Brad Pitt is good looking....when in reality, I am pretty sure I'm the only one in my circle of friends that feels this way! Who knew it was a "trend" to disagree with with my peers- hell, they just called me weird when I said it!!
and you are proving my point for me.....God Forbid you just take a woman's word on how she feels....
Oh hell no....you have to tell her she was just following some damn trend and trying to be kool for thinking differently than the masses, as if you really know our minds better than we do....



I really don't know where this is coming from in this thread.

It's not just this thread.... that is the problem!!
It's each and every thread - you always have to find at least one person and argue some minute detail just to prove them wrong.
Your recent posts to Spot comes to mind....telling her that the marriage proposal wasn't a serious thing to consider...
You knew nothing of her situation but still had to comment...and comment again...how wrong she was.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 110
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/13/2018 9:48:32 PM
Okay, here's my recipe for saskatoon cheesecake pie (FYI, tonight it was frickin delicious):

Saskatoom Cheesecake Pie

1 (9 inch) unbaked pie shell
3 cups frozen, sl8ghtly thawed or fresh saskatoons
1/2 cup white sugar
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs
1 (8 ounce) container sour cream
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
In a medium bowl, toss the saskatoon with 1/2 cup of sugar and the flour. Pour into the pie shell. Bake for 15 minutes in the preheated oven. Remove, and allow to cool. Lower the temperature of the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a medium bowl, stir together the cream cheese and 1/2 cup of sugar until smooth. Stir in the eggs one at a time until each is blended. Pour this mixture over the fruit in the crust.
Bake for 30 minutes in the preheated oven, or until set. Remove from the oven, and set aside. In a small bowl, stir together the sour cream, 2 tablespoons of sugar, and vanilla. Spread over the top of the pie while it is hot. Cool to room temperature, then refrigerate to chilled before serving.

For those who don't know, saskatoons are small purple berries that grow on the Canadian prairies in valleys and wooded areas.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 111
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 6:20:01 AM
I thought you meant Saskatoon berries which I first and last tasted over fifty years ago. Will raisins or chocolate chips work?
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 112
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 8:15:24 AM
How do saskatoon berries compare to Toronto berries or Vancouver berries?
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 113
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Posted: 10/14/2018 8:33:25 AM
Rise_Above_This, how do you live in Saskatchewan and not have had saskatoons for 50 years? You actually live in the city of Saskatoon which was named for the abundance of saskatoon bushes in the area. I guess maybe you can't get them in a lot of the grocery stores. I believe Co-Op carries them. I either go to pick a few pails in the early part of July in the nearby Qu'Appelle valley or I go to the U-pick farm which cuts the picking time in half with less mosquitos.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 114
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Posted: 10/14/2018 12:03:26 PM
I remember picking berries when I was little along the river bank in Prince Albert and not liking anything we picked whether it was black, choke or saskatoons. I don't like any of them. As for availability we have our own private stocks growing in inaccessible places along the railway tracks. Some will eat them and some will pick them just not me.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 115
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 1:47:49 PM

OTOH when someone has extreme viewpoints (left, right, or other), it can be good to know that sooner than later so I wouldn't have to waste much time, money, or energy on getting to know that person.

It's just that it's becoming more and more difficult to identify as a centrist (leaning in either direction, if applicable). If you say you're a conservative voter you immediately get identified with the host of rightist ideas you don't necessarily identify with, and the same with the left. I share some conservative convictions and some more modern ones, based on my 40 years of life experience, and I'm not going to sit there and explain my world views to a random date at a restaurant, just my opinion though.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 116
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 2:09:17 PM
^^^Not to say that I enjoy superficial conversation - not at all, it bores me to death - but you've gotta know someone to be a reasonable person etc. before you go into sensitive subjects.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 117
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 4:43:27 PM

Correct. I wasn't calling BS on Everyone who thinks Brad Pitt's unattractive -- nor was that targeted at any individual.


I came back to just apologize. I used the wrong example and NG took it too far. Apparent;y there are a lot of women who in America say they don't like Brad Pitt and he is confusing them not liking him or not finding him attractive as meaning that "he is unattractive. That isn't what I think it means NG. I see that many posts have discussed this since I wrote it and I apologize for letting it go so far.

Secondly, I made a VERY bad example by using him since, as you said, often Ango centric say they don't find him attractive.
But the cultures that I am referring to REALLY don't find him attractive. If he wasn't a movie star they wouldn't think twice about him. You can substitute Tom Cruise or most American actors. As that other women stated it is a cultural thing. The French for example have their own media industry and find other men to be attractive and to be leading men that look quite different than Americans movie industry does. Eastern Europeans tend to have a different look they like.

So YEAH when the girls that I am talking about say they do NOT like Brad Pitt (or Tom Cruise OR any of the new feminine type actors that are in movie rolls these days) I certainly believe them. I live in South Brooklyn which is Mostly Russians, Ukrainians, etc. They have a TYPE. They watch them in their own movies , media and they look very different than Brad Pitt and the assorted American actors. My wife was Ukrainian ancestry. I know she really doesn't find him attractive nor did any of her gorgeous friends. It just isn't the type they grow up adoring. That culture in my age group tends to like more guys that look Georgian which is similar to Greeks and Italians. My Brazilian gf says blond blue eyed guys are more popular in her country. That is the opposite of Poland where the girls flock to Mediterranean guys. Different strokes ;)

As for doubting the media's ability to make men attractive in women's eyes , I will give you a few examples. SEAN CONNERY. His first role before James Bond he played a nerdy scientist/teacher type and women didn't like him at all. It wasn't until James Bond, a role he almost didn't get because they thought he didn't look the part, where he became desirable. Part of his overall attractiveness includes his famous deep voice. If he had a different, less commandeering voice perhaps it would be different?
My generation the girls were "taught" to like Kevin Bacon and Christian Slater..2 actors that the media even thought didn't fit the Hollywood image but Hollywood made them so" hot" that many generation X'ers had posters of him over their bed . Lets not forget the guys today in media tend to look more feminine and the girls adore them but the women over 40 don't find them to be as attractive.


NG seems to think his word is gospel and that everyone thinks like him in many topics,


Well you and me are friends and all but I understand why they are reacting that way. Many forum members actually REALLY don't find hi m attractive and you are , it seems, saying that is BS. When women don't find a guy attractive they tend to NOT pay him attention in that "way" unless they like other things about the guy. They don't use the 1-10 scale that many men use. I think the problem is, and I hate to say it since we are friends and such , is that you are actually MORE of a feminist then most of the guys here, or women here. You actually think most women think and feel the same as a guy does. No they don't. They are as a gender , IMHO, more different in their individual opinions of men attractiveness , than men opinions of women.. As mentioned, when you actually talk to women and see what they really like you will find they have complete various differences that are all over the place. To see this "taste", you gotta get to know them when they aren't conforming to media or their friends/family or town culture.

Now of course psych experiences have actually been conducted showing certain global features that women find appealing with certain racial differences . Deep set eyes, big brows, big jaws and even prominent noses for Caucasian men for example. Experiments have been conducted where women were just looking at separate features and the outcome was that they consistently picked the same photos of separated features.

Here is the ironic thing in the study:When looking at photo's of men's faces women didn't actually necessarily pick the faces that had those features. Tastes were consistently more personalized with more women picking men who had more feminine features.Certain women who were more older perhaps picked the more masculine men while the younger women picked the more "girly" looking features. The out come has been repeated in multiple studies so as an experiment we know that women make different decisions about what they find attractive when seeing "features" vs" the guy".

We can't, of course, know why for certain the reason for discrepancy, but it was hypothesized that women of today are looking for less masculine men as partners who will be more caring to raise children. That makes sense since our culture now puts men in positions doing stuff men didn't do before that is less traditionally masculine and this is also the look the media has pushed for decades. But when it comes to the DNA (whatever word you want to use)..women still find the features that the alpha masculine man who is built for survival would have. What that tells me is at the end of the day the caveman still is appealing lol.

Btw as one hypothesis about why Hollywood has been feminizing the looks of men over the last 2 decades has to do with a need for a lot of interchangeable actors. I don't know if it is the only factor but it was an interesting read. The hypothesis was that decades ago the leading men had character and were idols that were important role models and the actors fulfilled different roles. You couldn't just go out and find a new one everyday. TBH if you go back in time, it is true.
Today the new actors come and go in popularity like the setting of the sun. In today , out tomorrow.

Disclaimer: Now some of the stuff I have written are my personal opinions based on my experiences and observations. Others are actually my opinion in agreeing with stuff that I have read ,including psych experiments(some I actually repeated in experimental psych class). I being a man ,who thinks scientifically when observing the world, believe a lot of the hypothesis are true..until founded untrue. But unlike you I don't state my opinions is correct about how others view things .Speaking of science ,I am doing a fecal flotation with a compound microscope and centrifuge as I write this because our 2 kittens have diarrhea and I think I might succeed where my vet has failed..now that is what I mean by moving to ones own tune. Not exactly mainstream stuff!

In conclusion when a women says she doesn't find a guy attractive she is simply saying SHE doesn't find him attractive. She thinks others might/will find that guy attractive possibly.

I also have a hypothesis NG for why you think the way you do(I figured you out yrs ago ) and again it is my hypothesis based on never being in Fort Wayne so I am going to make assumptions since I don't know what other places you have lived at. My hypothesis can be completely wrong since I don't have all the facts.
Here goes:
1. you from the Midwest, which from what I have observed is VERY mainstream American values. Even the American English vernacular taught in schools is Midwestern . Therefore a lot of your personal views are mainstream. That includes who you think women are attracted to or not.
2. Your from a large city by Midwest standards but Fort Wayne doesn't have much diversity. In fact it is one of the mostly white cities in the US and except for blacks there isn't a huge amount of races. Wikipedia confirms this. That means you live in the type of city that is like a " big town" where the nail that sticks out gets hammered. A lot of your gospel isn't surprising. You actually come across like someone who is a product of your environment. I even looked on google maps and I see even having sidewalks is a luxury. People probably just drive everywhere and conform to their own niches, which there isn't much variation there.

I find that to really predict the other sex one has to actually travel and live in other places that follow a different beat. When you do that you might find that some of the things that you believed was just cultural bias..brainwashing. It is kind of like when Christian Bale in Batman had to learn to understand criminals by being with criminals and becoming one himself. To do so he traveled to the far corners of the globe. I used to think a lot like yo,u but I did the BATMAN thing.

I used the word predict because I feel we may never understand but we can at least predict. Success can come from prediction.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 118
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 6:30:55 PM
To adventurejoe, You know me well enough by now to know when I'm just havin' fun with you and when I'm downright serious, ……….right?


I want to thank you for your post ^ ^ ^ ^ ^and in my book you are absolutely correct. Very well stated, all the way around.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 119
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 7:23:17 PM
Bwah-ha-ha!

Joe just did to NG....that NG does to everyone else...
and used just as many words too!!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 120
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 8:22:38 PM
Thank you Red!
MsMicki lol..but I used qualifier's such as IMHO, I think,etc. If NG would start using qualifier's more often then actually no one can really criticize his criticisms of them.


P.S. another large difference is my opinions are sometimes backed by the so called experts in social psychology. They might be true until another expert refutes them
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 121
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/15/2018 2:20:01 AM

And even someone like CoolDog, who prefers a completely different type of woman, isn’t going to be bothered or get upset about it.


Correct. Barbara Eden was definitely quite attractive even if the Jeannie character was a pain in the ass and annoying.


Raquel Welch never really did it for me.


Raquel was very memorable in the furkini in that iconic poster. Very exotic looking. Now as for Michelle Pfeiffer, I'll take Halle Berry over her as Catwoman. Neeeyowww...
 HUMHUMA
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 122
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 11/3/2018 4:27:18 AM
While I'm not here for a full out relationship have never talked trash to any women EXCEPT when they start and think they know who I am or assumes they know....have met a few and ran from them as they talk crap about their family and are drama ridden....which in my opinion is 50% of the population here.....so in saying that it's the luck of the draw!
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 123
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Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 11/3/2018 8:42:38 AM
physical appearance is both more important, and less, than we make it. some young gals, of course, feel more frisky when ovulating and look for certain type of guys subconsciously--even tho they aren't intending to mate, their body is saying otherwise. Next week, their goal with be something else, with someone else. Bradley Cooper might get paid millions b/c his face can sell a movie in one market...but fail in another. It doesn't reduce the fact that in that market, he's hot to a majority. And we guys might be only interested in dating women in that market. If Adventure Joe's Ukrainian babes slip into our neighborhood and we can't have them b/c we aren't their Mediterrean ideal...oh well, we'll find the next lady who finds us interesting (and like the saying about a bird in the hand versus two in the bush, we may ignore the lady interested in us to invest pursuit in what we can't have. Both genders tend to be like that--we don't invest in what's on the silver platter. why should we? its on the silver platter). nice guys may finish last simply b/c when a woman is finally ready to settle down, she finds the provider guy, gets married...and doesn't sleep around anymore. so, he finished last, but he's married with a family. did he lose?

"Btw as one hypothesis about why Hollywood has been feminizing the looks of men over the last 2 decades has to do with a need for a lot of interchangeable actors. I don't know if it is the only factor but it was an interesting read. The hypothesis was that decades ago the leading men had character and were idols that were important role models and the actors fulfilled different roles. You couldn't just go out and find a new one everyday. TBH if you go back in time, it is true. "

>>>its an interesting theory. i used to watch films when i lived near a local film college, and in their lectures on films from the black and white era...said that male leads were in fact interchangable, and rented out from studio to studio. Clark Gable, Errol Flynn, etc would be tried out in westerns, comedies, drama, etc to find what the audience deemed a perfect fit with ticket purchases. once an actor got typecast and become a household name, of course, then they got the roles we now take for granted they were meant to be in. but before that time, they were shopped around. even in the age of "Harold Hawks leading women" like Kat Hepburn, it was still an age where the man ran the house, brought home the bacon, etc. women have of course, adapted more of that role for themselves since.

I agree mightly with Joe's suggestion that physical attraction can very well be regional. sometimes we find a human being sexy b/c of what they represent to us--sometimes forbidden fruit, but usually a sign of what we deem a success. not to suggest we use all our partners as trophies (but obviously, a lot do), but we tend to date for two reasons--to share life or the thrill of getting laid. Friends and family generally handle the rest of our companionship needs. its nice to have sex with a hot body, but its also ego-satisfying to be wanted by them. to be desired by someone who isn't desperate, who choose us over others. and some are just happy to get laid. and still others just want to "date" and court and be courted. Sex is nice, but they just want intimate companionship. whatever goal we want from a relationship, our partner could very well (on some level) represent that we've reached that goal, and leave us satisfied we're doing ok in life.

and if we get some nookie while that's happening, or free dinner, or whatever else...hey, icing on the cake :)
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