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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > ghosted again, but never expected it 'this time'      Home login  
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 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 26
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ghosted again, but never expected it 'this time'Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I think it's only ghosting if you had had a date then they suddenly don't talk or block you etc.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 27
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/4/2018 1:00:46 PM
This isn't ghosting, as you were not in a relationship with the woman. It was just text, nothing more than that.

You should expect random disappearances like this and nothing as it was, every time with this form of communication and without meeting the person face to face.

My advice? Stop texting. CALL them. MEET THEM.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 28
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/4/2018 1:52:44 PM

This isn't ghosting, as you were not in a relationship with the woman. It was just text, nothing more than that.

I don't think ghosting requires you to be in a Relationship with anyone (although that's the worst form of ghosting there is that's life-affecting). I think ghosting just requires something having been established between you two, to the point where logically speaking, you should be blind-sided by them suddenly never communicating with you, out of the blue. I think several days of fruitful messaging someone is worthy of it. Or sometimes if it wasn't So fruitful, but an agreed date was set up with realistic expectations that they are (wanting) to show, and they disappeared out of existence.

But I would agree that it's not like he initially thought, where it's a good message exchange with a newbie to you for a day, then the next day they become dead-air to you indefinitely. Even though that still sucks though, good news is, he updated it -- 24 hours later she did reach out to him.
It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/6/2018 6:11:10 AM
She's already helping you wet sand a truck? You got a good one there! I'm glad this worked out for you.

I had one about a week ago. I've looked at her profile a few times but didn't think she was my type. She sent me a message about really liking my profile and wanting to get to know me. I figured I'd see what she's about so I agreed. She then wanted me to call her. I was really busy that night and didn't have time for a 2 hour long first call. And even if we said 15 minutes, it would still be 2 hours. So I said we could try to talk the next day. I got home late the following evening and still didn't have time for a 2 hour call. She was very friendly with tons of compliments and persistant about me giving her a call. It's times like this when texting comes in handy. I told her I'd definitely make time to call her the next day. Which I did later in the morning. I felt it better to block my number when I did that. The call went to voicemail so I left her a message. I also sent her a message here. Nothing... nothing at all! Went from 100 - 0. I can see that she read the message. My thoughts are either she was looking for attention and felt rewarded when she received a phone call, maybe she's a "working girl" (a lot of them on the site) or she was hoping my phone number would come up. I found this one amusing.
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 30
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/6/2018 8:43:05 AM
She might have wanted to see if you told her the truth about who you are by what name came up on the number. I will not meet a guy until I've thoroughly researched him on the internet. So many married guys pretending to be single. Plus I want to see if they have a criminal record or Facebook friends in common and stuff like that.

I think you missed the boat by waiting too long to call her. Plus you called her on a morning instead of in the evening.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 31
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/6/2018 9:04:34 AM
Either she is busy or she lost interest because she felt like she was chasing you.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 32
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/6/2018 9:27:31 AM
I look at it this way. I haven't been what you might call "ghosted" but I did get a text from a man that said he thought a planned date wasn't going to work and then I stopped answering his texts after 3 planned dates were not going to "work". Enough wasting my time.

I like the old adage "Sometimes God does for you something you should do for yourself". So if a person ghosted me I would just chalk it off as good God veering me away from drama or trouble. My guardian angel protecting me from heartache or someone deranged. It keeps it simple for me and easier to move on and let the person go.
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 33
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/6/2018 9:50:26 AM

This isn't ghosting, as you were not in a relationship with the woman. It was just text, nothing more than that.

If 2 people had at least discussed setting up plans for a date and 1 person suddenly stops contact without any notice, then it is still ghosting. It doesn't have to be a relationship although ghosting in a relationship is worse.


My advice? Stop texting. CALL them. MEET THEM.

I don't think calling someone necessarily means a person is more serious. I had phone calls with women that ended up being flakes. I also had dates with women that were set up by text.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 34
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/8/2018 7:44:58 PM

This isn't ghosting, as you were not in a relationship with the woman. It was just text, nothing more than that.
if you sent me a single message, then disappeared, that is ghosting! granted there isn't much of a bond and very common on pof/poof. many times, I have exchanged numerous superficial messages only to have them vanish like a ghost, 'ghosted'. being ghosted doesn't imply anything serious, real or imagined. as far as call them, meet them, I firmly agree! so many want to message or text until they feel comfortable while not willing to meet for a cup of coffee! I usually have a good idea if I am interested before the waitress brings the coffee!
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 35
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/8/2018 7:54:01 PM

She's already helping you wet sand a truck? You got a good one there! I'm glad this worked out for you.
we have a lot in common and "could" be a good match. however, like every other pof date I ever had, she is way to serious after just a week of dating.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 36
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/8/2018 8:05:57 PM
John, My suggestion is you set the pace, she will follow if you lead. If she runs ahead let her...……….does not mean you must ran after.
 mynycesmyle
Joined: 12/1/2017
Msg: 37
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/13/2018 11:29:58 AM
John,

She probably realized you might actually be the real deal and feared if she wasn’t up to (your) par, others might find out she was rejected. Easier to deal with without friends in common. Don’t take it personally. It was more likely about her.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 38
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/13/2018 7:08:30 PM

if you sent me a single message, then disappeared, that is ghosting!

I disagree. If I wrote a gal, which initial messages include a question, and she just said "Yes" as her whole message... then I send her another one, and she doesn't reply -- that would be silly to call it ghosting, right? :) One mine as well call a no-reply from the get-go "ghosting".

I think ghosting requires the other person to have convinced the masses, generally speaking, that they were going to do something (write back, or arrive at meetup). Guys (including myself) will get initial-msg replies from gals where it's not convincing that she'll reply, due to her first message. It's up in the air or pretty convincing that she most likely won't... or if I Had to bet, I'd say she would, but no shocker that she wouldn't reply back.

I think ghosting requires said person to have socially "owed" the other something... where that judgment call wouldn't be how You feel per se, but how people in general would assess it.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 39
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It isn't ghosting.
Posted: 10/13/2018 8:50:52 PM

I disagree. If I wrote a gal, which initial messages include a question, and she just said "Yes" as her whole message... then I send her another one, and she doesn't reply -- that would be silly to call it ghosting, right? :) One mine as well call a no-reply from the get-go "ghosting".
maybe silly, but she still vanished (ghosted) after you started a conversation. in your scenario, most would never give it a second thought as ghosting from a longer conversation is the new normal and a single response does not equate to any type of bond but you started a conversation, she responded and then left, disappeared, vanished, went away or "ghosted". a no-reply would not be ghosting as she was never there.
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