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 DawnNuSun
Joined: 10/29/2018
Msg: 126
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How many partners is too much?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I have never questioned any man about how many partners he's had in the past. And I have never revealed to any man how many partners I've had. Maybe that's a thing now, but I have also not asked any if they have ever cheated before. Not that they would tell the truth anyway! None have asked me that. I have found most men to be jealous enough without knowing intimate stuff about the past! To some, that would just give them stuff to throw up to you if (and when probably) you ever had an argument.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 127
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 7:22:31 AM
msg#126:
I have never questioned any man about how many partners he's had in the past. And I have never revealed to any man how many partners I've had. Maybe that's a thing now, but I have also not asked any if they have ever cheated before. Not that they would tell the truth anyway! None have asked me that. I have found most men to be jealous enough without knowing intimate stuff about the past! To some, that would just give them stuff to throw up to you if (and when probably) you ever had an argument


+1

I totally agree. A little mystery is a good thing.Everyone has their secret places where no one else should even try to go.
All this emphasis on transparency and 'ask me anything I'm an open book' is not all its cracked up to be.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 128
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 8:05:23 AM
Another side of the question...

As I got older and my numbers went up, women tended to find that attractive. In middle age, I got involved with swinging and my number of partners went from relatively few to relatively many in short order. Later in life, one woman asked me and I told her. She was astonished and became very insistent. There after I would tell everybody.

What would turn a woman on about so many partners? I know. I know. No forum woman would ever be with a man who had more than one. Maybe you have a friend that does that. What motivates her?

For men... Other guys must have noticed this phenomenon. In your opinion, how many is too few?
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 129
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 9:22:19 AM
My wife was a bit shocked at my number when we were dating, but it seemed to turn her on. She'd comment on how i had an army of women before we met . Sometimes she wants and likes to hear stories of things ive done in the past. It makes her crazy and she jumps me.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 130
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 12:25:16 PM
^^^^^ at you guys.

Some people like to call women certain names if they bragged about
that...apparently it's okei for men.

If you're to be believed of course.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 131
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 1:04:57 PM

What would turn a woman on about so many partners?

One theory - we assume that someone else has trained him correctly. Just a hypothesis (and, obviously, not always true).

Things men know that boys don't....
Socks go in the hamper or the drawer -- not the floor. So does underwear. And tee shirts. In fact, clothing belongs on you, in the hamper, or in the drawer.
She doesn't want you to fix her problems - she just wants you to listen. If you're faking it, grunt occasionally so she knows you care for her (she already knows you aren't really listening).
A made bed with clean sheets is nirvana. At least cover it so it looks made up to the untrained eye.
Sexy is doing something 'housework'y (sweep, change diaper, put up stuff properly) and NOT bragging about it.

On the other hand, maybe my OCD is just showing up.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 132
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 1:17:38 PM

One theory - we assume that someone else has trained him correctly. Just a hypothesis (and, obviously, not always true).


A follow up question... What would prompt a woman to link sexual partners with housework? The reason I ask is that even if a man were a slob to start with, it should only take one partner to train him up.
 2ufo
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 133
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 1:59:41 PM

What would prompt a woman to link sexual partners with housework?

Good question.
Maybe it all harks back to the days when women provided 70+% of the the diet by picking berries, roots, small animals near their dens, etc... while men were out hunting the big game animals which migrate a lot and rarely spending the nights in the same place so who cares about the sh*t.
So a million years of feeling secure because you knew where to find food (because everything is where it was yesterday since plants don't usually migrate - except tumbleweed which isn't edible) and the sh*t wasn't anywhere near the sleeping area may translate into keeping a clean house because everything is in it's proper place.
And a preferred sexual partner helps keep a woman feel secure in various ways.


...even if a man were a slob to start with, it should only take one partner to train him up.

Depends on how good the sex is, I guess.
 Rumours
Joined: 6/4/2018
Msg: 134
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 2:35:20 PM
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou
^^One of my favorite quotes.

I would not be turned on or want to be with a man that was the "town pump".... but not saying others wouldn't.
Each to their own.
I have had enough sexual partners to know what I like and works for me.
I would rather be with someone that was selective in their bed mates.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 135
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 4:22:58 PM

How many partners is too much?

"Partner"? That means BF/GF/FWB, or maybe a consistently on-going F-Buddy. Misleading PC terms always make my eyes roll - lol. Just because a guy stuffs some gal's turkey, doesn't mean they're "partners". No wonder you'll once in a while find someone freaking out who porked on a 1st/2nd/3rd date, when the other person's interests fade. They must have thought they were "partners" - lol.

My wife was a bit shocked at my number when we were dating, but it seemed to turn her on.

I have never experienced that. It's only been in the Negative when the # was higher than "normal" for guys of my age. If it's higher than their really-low guess, I could see that being a turn-on. More of a reversal of seeing them a certain turn-off way. But if the gal assumes you've certainly been around the block quite a few times, and you throw out a higher # than they'd assume (thus HIGH) -- good luck getting a positive vibe! I'd call it a win if it were a neutral reaction. :)

From my experience -- and granted, this is notably past college years where people can in fact have pretty low #s -- whenever the topic has come up, which has not been often, the assumed # of getting into the high range has been quite Low.

And a preferred sexual partner helps keep a woman feel secure in various ways.

I don't think guys feel so secure when they're tied down with a Non-preferred significant-other, either. :)
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 136
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 4:23:31 PM
the best vagnal excercise is clitoral orgasms-and the more you have well...second a babies head is 10 cm in circumference
-one person- very insecure- selfish partner-ask this question-on our second date- was honest in my answer..
Indeed, i have never allowed a ring upon my finger, my life choices reflect that freedom.
 oldwxman
Joined: 7/22/2018
Msg: 137
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 6:44:04 PM

I would rather be with someone that was selective in their bed mates.


Selective can mean many things. As an ex swinger as stated above, I have been with women who have had literally thousands of partners. After a few of those, you don't care how many partners a woman has had. Even a narrow minded moralist gets desensitized. Still, it is selective because swingers tend to be upper middle class and very careful about sexual health. Street walkers would likely have just as many partners but I have never heard of a male swinger that went to one.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 138
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/8/2018 11:55:37 PM

My wife was a bit shocked at my number when we were dating, but it seemed to turn her on. She'd comment on how i had an army of women before we met . Sometimes she wants and likes to hear stories of things ive done in the past.


I used to find it hot/fascinating when a guy I was dating had a lot of partners. Now, I'm more serious and relationship-minded so I'd rather them have less than more.

A lot of sexual partners and little to no LTRs? Could be indicative of commitment issues or unable to form long-lasting emotional bonds with women and just superficial physical ones. A lot of sexual partners and HAS been in LTRs? Probably a cheater. In short, higher numbers mean more of a liability. I take their age into account as well. If they're my age or younger with a high number, I'm not going to be as understanding as if it were an older man.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 139
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 6:03:05 AM
... I carry with me ( in my fine lil', muddled up bwain ) several sayings I love to " spring " on whoever is un-fortunate enough to be close by.

... One of my favs is " I'm 66 years old and NEVER been kissed !! " I'm thinking, maybe a nearby hot chickadee will run up & plant one on me, col. ( hasn't happened yet but, who knows what the future may bring ? )

... As for sexual partners or acquaintances ~ I can count on my fingers how many, as I've been in LTRS since age 17. As for the question, in general - I might could see / hear it, in " pillow talk " maybe, but otherwise I find it a bit abstract. If you want to know if someone is overly into sex, or a sexual addict ( so to speak ) > just ask them.

... Saying #2 > " my name is duck & I don't give a f*uck " < reserved for intellectual in-depth discussions with my closer friends ( or anyone else nearby, who might be listening )

heart / kiss me / sun
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 140
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 6:36:25 AM
How many partners is too much?
Message: ^^^^^ at you guys.

Some people like to call women certain names if they bragged about
that...apparently it's okei for men.

If you're to be believed of course."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


As for sex, its a lot harder for men to get laid. So its more of an accomplishment as when a woman wants to get laid she just has to say "hey i wanna get laid !" and she has tons of options.


And most of us know its a fact that women like men that other women are into. Its that competitive nature women have against each other.
So when women are interested in a man other women want to win him over instead..

With men , if a woman has a ton of men around or has been with a ton we lose interest , like a piece of gum that has lost all flavour.
 Tech30
Joined: 8/11/2017
Msg: 141
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 6:42:48 AM
A lot of sexual partners and little to no LTRs? Could be indicative of commitment issues or unable to form long-lasting emotional bonds with women and just superficial physical ones. A lot of sexual partners and HAS been in LTRs? Probably a cheater. In short, higher numbers mean more of a liability. I take their age into account as well. If they're my age or younger with a high number, I'm not going to be as understanding as if it were an older man.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think all you just said is a bunch of BS. Indicative of commitment issue? How about the person knows they arent ready for a relationship because they are finishing school and still need to travel a bit and so on.

Not wanting to commit, doesnt mean a commitment issue. It also doesnt mean emotional issues. It can just mean that the person know what they want and dont want at that particular stage in life.

Also you can date lots of women and not find any of them suitable for a long term relationship. Before meeting my wife, I had 2 long term relationships lasting almost 4 years each. In between meeting them i dated a lot.

There are sometimes a lot more weeds in a garden than flowers. Also I always knew i didnt want to settle and would wait until i found someone that i knew was perfect for me. Lucky for me I was able to have some awesome sexual exploits in my search.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 142
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 7:30:25 AM

As for sex, its a lot harder for men to get laid. So its more of an accomplishment as when a woman wants to get laid she just has to say "hey i wanna get laid !" and she has tons of options.


And most of us know its a fact that women like men that other women are into. Its that competitive nature women have against each other.
So when women are interested in a man other women want to win him over instead..

With men , if a woman has a ton of men around or has been with a ton we lose interest , like a piece of gum that has lost all flavour.
I would agree with both points. if you had 10 men and 10 women in a bar, the women could all get laid easily if they wanted but the men have more of a challenge. if a woman wanted to take each and every man to the parking lot one at a time, she would take most/all and surely be deemed a slut. an easily achieved task that only requires lowering your standards and values. now if a man tried that, it would be a major accomplishment to even get 2 or 3. the 'bragging rights' would be because he did what most men cant! if this was not true, we would not have female prostitutes, or we would have equal amount of male prostitutes and I could start charging for my services.
 SiennaBear2
Joined: 12/2/2017
Msg: 143
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 7:33:44 AM
I would find it a turn off if a man has slept with a lot but having said that I do like to hear of exploits they have had.
Usually too much of a bad sign when young guys have had an excess of partners. Also don't wanna get STDs.
You know theres something going on if the guy won't really say how many and dodges it. Like he has something to hide or is uncomfortable. Big red flag that they aren't really serious.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 144
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 8:44:16 AM
I would never ask anyone their number.
I would never answer anyone who asked my number.
I would expect that we would both be tested and have
papers before we began a relationship.

With that said, I'm also not opposed to SAFE nsa
sex.

There are so many other important things to know about
someone...their sexual prowess other than with me, isn't
something I'm interested in.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 145
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 8:48:23 AM
"And most of us know its a fact that women like men that other women are into. Its that competitive nature women have against each other."

Surprise, surprise. All women are not the same.

Some of us women are only competitive in business.

I would walk away from any man who tried to tell me how many partners he had had, or if he was to question me.

Sounds very high school to me.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 146
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 9:34:29 AM
"and most of us know, its a fact women like men who other women approve of"

>>>some ladies do fall for "social proof". like they see someone wearing a pair of shoes or a purse, and want that same material status item. its a maturity thing. young men run into it with young women, and think that it doesn't change. older men try to pick up immature peers in a bar who keep their weight down with smoking, dress sexy, are easy to get into bed etc and find...their peers are still competing with other women.

a woman who works hard to be sexy, may not represent the mindset of all women her age. some will have other goals in finding a man....or a relationship.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 147
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 9:57:49 AM
while I don't think 'all' women behave the same, I have had more women express interest when I was attached than when not. loving girlfriend glued to my side=must be a great guy, single and no date=must be a loser. this has been extremely obvious more than once after being single for a time and just starting to date someone. all of a sudden, those that had zero interest become interested. new g.f. doesn't pan out and all those potential options evaporate.
 Rumours
Joined: 6/4/2018
Msg: 148
How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 10:22:40 AM

I don't think 'all' women behave the same,

You got it and neither do men....go figure.


I have had more women express interest when I was attached than when not

I am curious....Do you mean these women would hit on you...while out with your gf...in front of her?
And how? Touching, winking, talking, grabbing ur butt...?

I know, I will talk to couples more readily than a single guy but that's just being friendly.
Gosh....I hope it's not being interpreted wrong.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 149
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 10:37:58 AM
not right in front of them usually but have had a few do just that. usually once they know I am dating, they let me know they are single/suggest dating. could be as simple as saying they wished they could find a good guy like me or outright stating I should date her instead. their not waiting on porch in large groups but it has been many subtle hints (flirting) that always increase when dating and not so common when single. my 'theory' is just that. could also be what I project single vs. attached.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 150
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How many partners is too much?
Posted: 11/9/2018 11:54:00 AM

I have had more women express interest when I was attached than when not. loving girlfriend glued to my side=must be a great guy, single and no date=must be a loser.


I've heard similar stories & read similar studies on this. A man with a wedding band, for example, is perceived to be 10x more attractive, regardless of how he actually looks. The thought process behind this was, if some other woman has him, he must be worth having! A married or attached man has already been pre-screened by another woman unlike a single man, who is an unknown entity. It also showed that he was able to commit.

I don't agree with the above but I do understand the appeal behind married or attached men.

& Tech30....I still believe extreme high or no numbers pose more of a liability. I'm not into extremes and that applies to a man who is around my age or older who is a virgin. Unless he is either asexual or super-religious, there is something off about a person in my age group or older who has not managed to have sex.
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