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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?      Home login  
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 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 26
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I think keep going with it. Do you enjoy that one day a week?

I have a busy life so I can't date often. I have my kids 99% of the time. I even say on my profile that I have limited time. But I still try to date because I figure there's probably guys who rarely have dates at all so maybe one guaranteed get-together a week would work for them. And if it lasts long enough and I like him enough then I could introduce him to my kids so we could potentially spend more time together
 ssm508
Joined: 5/27/2018
Msg: 27
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/6/2018 10:02:09 AM
Going out on a date once a week isn't unusual or a bad thing. When I was dating, I often saw a woman 1 or 2 times a week because of geography, work schedules, and other conflicts. Plus I feel each person should have a social life outside of a relationship.
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 28
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/6/2018 5:07:54 PM
Have you actually asked politely about what you seem to feel is a 'lack of availability'? He might have kids he has defined access to, or he might do a job where there's just no chance of availability on weekdays (or like my job being shiftwork in a full 24/7/365 business)? Maybe he's just naturally shy and feels that once a week is a good way to balance things out?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 29
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/8/2018 12:38:16 AM

Thanks everyone! I did talk about it with him and I was going to see how things go for a couple more weeks.

... and what did He say?

To your original concern -- seeing each other only once a week with little talk in-between is fine for the first couple weeks. No "sparks", but, feeling out the dating scene, especially when you're new -- it's fine. But if after a couple weeks it continues that way, you help aim to see them more and/or talk more.

You don't want LD relationships. They don't work for anyone who needs to spend a quality amount of time with someone to be content for a Relationship.

The best way to read their interest is how they come across. I can understand many people not wanting to chat a ton between dates -- but if they're Also only going to see you one evening a week and want to keep it that way for at least a good while, they're not that into you. Period. You can say it's their life circumstances... which May be true (burden is on them to show the other how that truly is) -- but that'd just be the Reason Why they're not That into you. :)

But some people are OK with that casual dating experience. They're emotionally independent, and not very emotional about the opp-sex. You do not fall into this boat, though.
 five-marie
Joined: 7/31/2011
Msg: 30
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/9/2018 6:27:32 PM
This would suit me just fine but I am not looking to marry or move in with anyone. I would be more concerned about no or little communication during the week.
 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 31
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/14/2018 6:14:31 PM
Sorry that I forgot to follow up on this, and thanks for all the help. We did talk/communicate more recently. But there are so many uncertainties in his life at this point, I feel that adding on more stress (from me) is not gonna help at all. I do want to remarry, but as long as that person keeps this option open, I am fine with it. After all, I don't want to divorce again, so I don't want to rush into a relationship either. Many of you are so right that I should be the one decides if I am comfortable or not, instead of asking if it is "normal". So, I have decided to take it slow, keep exploring other possibilities on POF, and see how things develop for me. Really appreciate everybody sharing your opinion/experience.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 32
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/14/2018 6:28:17 PM
Good luck lionfishgirl finding that which you are searching for
 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 33
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/14/2018 6:44:07 PM
Thank you so much. And you too :-)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 34
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/14/2018 10:26:18 PM

But there are so many uncertainties in his life at this point, I feel that adding on more stress (from me) is not gonna help at all.

Unless he's not on POF anymore really -- he's just giving you the classic BS line when they're not That into you. Not to say there isn't some portion of truth to what he's saying (which is why so many good upstanding people do it). Casually dating someone isn't going to bring stress to them if they have a desire to casually date. In a nutshell, that's all he's wanted, with you. IMO, most guys after 1-3 dates will just step away if they're "meh" about the girl, but, some will want to keep seeing them on a very casual basis (only) when he's pretty sure said gal isn't a fan of it.

I do want to remarry, but as long as that person keeps this option open, I am fine with it. After all, I don't want to divorce again, so I don't want to rush into a relationship either.

Yes, true. Usually when someone has an inclination to rush into a relationship (whether they're trying not to, or not) -- it's because they feel a big void, being single. One never wants to have the mindset of "insert person here in my life" as a sense of fulfillment or success. The grass can be nice and green on either side of the fence (or brown on either side too).
 lionfishgirl
Joined: 8/8/2018
Msg: 35
is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/15/2018 8:04:58 AM
Oh. He didn't say I gave him any stress. That's just me. And true, maybe he is just not that into me, period. :-(
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 36
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/15/2018 8:13:36 AM

Posted By: lionfishgirl on 10/14/2018 831 PM
Subject: is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Message: I have decided to take it slow, keep exploring other possibilities on POF, and see how things develop for me.


That is the best thing to do. Last Spring I met a woman I really liked on POF and we dated once a week and only communicated by email a few times times a week between dates. After about 8 weeks I decided this "relationship" wasn't going anywhere so I started looking elsewhere and found another a woman who is now my girlfriend.She is the perfect match for me and I love her like crazy.

You can meet someone too but you might have to cast a wider net. In addition to POF I also had my profile on O*C***d and that is where my girlfriend found me.That is also a free site so it wouldn't hurt to have your profile listed there too Anyway good luck,I hope you find who you are looking for.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 37
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/15/2018 8:21:08 AM

I do want to remarry, but as long as that person keeps this option open, I am fine with it.


What is the reason for wanting to remarry? It is possible to have a loving relationship with someone without a wedding ceremony. When I look at profiles and see "Want to find someone to marry", I skip to Next, because dates will feel like job interviews-being interviewed for the position of spouse. IMO, the divorce rate is high partly because a lot of people get married just because they like the idea of being married, and people feel being married legitimizes love-makes love legal. Finding someone who they would really like to spend the rest of their life with is secondary. When people realize that they can't mold their marriage partner into the perfect fantasy image they projected in their head to complete the fairy tale, it usually marks the beginning of the end.
 Clytemnestra
Joined: 6/6/2018
Msg: 38
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 10/15/2018 8:41:15 AM
msg#37:
I do want to remarry, but as long as that person keeps this option open, I am fine with it.


What is the reason for wanting to remarry? It is possible to have a loving relationship with someone without a wedding ceremony. When I look at profiles and see "Want to find someone to marry"


It's totally possible to have a loving relationship with someone without a wedding ceremony. without being married.
You pass by 'want to find someone to marry in profiles.'---That's an excellent way to weed out those folks not compatible with what you are looking for.
However some people actually do like and want to be married. They put the intention right out there. And why not? It's an excellent way for them to weed out folks not compatible with what they are looking for.

Not all folks who want to be married are starry eyed pie in the sky gotta find my perfect fantasy match, etc, etc. and set up dates like job interviews for their future forever spouse, or harbor any sort of weird notion that 'being married makes love legal'.
 DawnNuSun
Joined: 10/29/2018
Msg: 39
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 11/8/2018 6:37:42 AM
There is no normal for dating or relationships. That is why communication is so important. You make your own normal by talking things over and deciding if you are both on the same page in what could become your normal. Just once a week does not seem odd to me. Before I retired, weekends were the best time for dating, with phone calls in between. When you say "not much communication during the week", not sure what that means. I never had time nor the desire to talk by phone more than once or twice a week.
 Michaelisajoy
Joined: 2/2/2018
Msg: 40
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 11/14/2018 2:28:45 PM
I am so busy that once a week would be a good idea. I have a great many things I do that get in the way of my having a joyous relationship. So maybe it is ok. Maybe not. You have to discuss this with him and find out what is going on. Maybe he is just not that in to you.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 41
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 11/14/2018 4:29:03 PM
Are we talking about before or after marriage?

Once a week is OK at first, but I would think that as a relationship progresses, people would want to share more of their lives together. That's the only way to truly get to know someone. The sticky point is, does someone expect to continue the relationship via text messages the other 6 days of the week? I'm not interested in having a pen pal, so spending more time texting than meeting in person wouldn't cut it with me.
 Fascinator123
Joined: 12/22/2017
Msg: 42
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 11/15/2018 11:03:51 PM
Sorry but I don't think once a week shows he's that interested and if he's not communicating much outside of that then it's not looking great as far as I can see. In the beginning it's all new and fresh and some say those are the best days when you often can't wait to see each other again etc. Everyone is different and maybe he is super busy but no one is too busy for a few texts or a phone call to say they are thinking of you or ask how your day was. Maybe he's the type that takes his time but at any rate you need to talk about this with him. Only then will you know if you are just someone to pass the time with or if he's liking you more and more. I wish you good luck and hope everything turns out okay or you move on quickly if it's a non-starter for a long term thing. Take care.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 43
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 11/17/2018 12:37:27 PM
My boyfriend and I see each-other only once or twice a week. He is an EMT so his hours are crazy but it works for us. I have my own place so whenever he and I are both off he hangs out here. Since we don't see each-other that often, we are on Cloud-9 when we do spend time together.
 MtRushmore1970
Joined: 10/3/2014
Msg: 44
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is it normal if he wants to meet you once a week?
Posted: 11/23/2018 11:46:17 AM
Danimal is right, you figure out your mutual interests and compatibility during the dating process, not after the wedding vows have been exchanged.
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