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 Rumours
Joined: 6/4/2018
Msg: 26
Bit Confused...Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
^^^I get what your saying Moraima….Us women do not all think alike or as any man does.
Why do some people want to put others in a box?
So, I don't care if there has been a highly claimed author/professor/scholar who has written a book or some old forumite that claimed to be a womanizer. What one person claims as being a success in dating is not what another would call a success. Just quit making generalizations.
Just makes me laugh.

To the OP.....I sometimes will carry on a conversation on here...just to be polite.
I don't know why this woman won't meet but if that is your agenda/wants.....ask her and if she refuses...just move on.
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 27
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Posted: 10/12/2018 12:06:58 PM

Us women do not all think alike or as any man does.
Why do some people want to put others in a box?
are you not putting "any man" in a box with that statement? 'or as a any man does' implies men think differently, I believe that was the original point of the comment.
 Rumours
Joined: 6/4/2018
Msg: 28
Bit Confused...
Posted: 10/13/2018 11:35:41 AM

are you not putting "any man" in a box with that statement?

No
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 29
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Posted: 10/13/2018 6:39:21 PM

If all men were alike, and all women were alike, then there would be no need for psychoanalysis.

True. You'd just have two AI bots resolving any issues, one for each gender - lol.

Why do some people want to put others in a box?

Because people naturally lean toward Stereotyping. Stereotyping doesn't Mean being negative, either. It simplifies things, that's why. It's intellectual laziness in some sense. Many tend to steer away from certain negative stereotypes, but aside from that, we tend to stereotype/simplify and come to hasty conclusions.

The same reason many people want to believe, in say, horoscopes. Everyone in my birthday zone is alike, right?! Of course many things, like reading and being into horoscopes, can be a self-fulfilling prophecy for oneself.

IMO, aside from some key differences of male vs female, men vary more among each other and women vary more among each other than men as a whole vary from women as a whole.
 gvjanet
Joined: 1/4/2019
Msg: 30
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Posted: 1/13/2019 2:48:48 AM
It's impossible to know what she's thinking or what her reasons for not being ready.

My best advice is if you're enjoying communicating with her via email, there's no reason to stop. Keep your expectations low!
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 31
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Posted: 1/13/2019 11:32:06 AM

I have had 2 meets in the last 2.5 years since I broke my engagement.


Dating from online can be and is difficult.


At that rate, it will take you 187.5 years to match LadyinRed's total.

That is definitely going to be difficult.

(not that you're trying to match her total, but 2 live meets in 2.5 years will not qualify as "highly active" by anyone's standards, and the low level of activity among women overall now, compared to the glory days years ago, is the source of much of the disappointing results that men are experiencing now)
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 32
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Posted: 1/13/2019 1:35:37 PM

At that rate, it will take you 187.5 years to match LadyinRed's total



Lol, add 2 more. Ladyinred is back on the prowl. Meeeooow!
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 33
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Posted: 1/14/2019 12:20:57 AM
POF (in fact all dating sites really) is (are) very much like being long-term unemployed - you send off soooo many 'applications' that you get lost in the constant flood of knockbacks, forget about the people who never bother to reply (way more than 50 percent) because for all intents and purposes most of them are probably fakes anyway, and out of the sub-5 percent who do actually reply, 1 percent of those will actually have a real communication that might lead to meeting up in person.

I still have not had any contact from here turn into a real-life meetup. Had a few get to the swap phone numbers and have a few phone chats, and lots that go pretty deep into the email/messaging communication, and lots that do either a polite or very rude ' thanks but no thanks' rejection.

All dating sites open to both sexes are flooded with a huge number of male profiles, and a much smaller number of female ones. How many of those female ones are males trying to get female attention because they don't get it when 'posing' as their legitimate male self? ;-)
Women (especially those who have had failed relationships) are a lot more open to contact from other women and will connect with women much more easily IMHO because a woman automagically is afforded a higher 'initial trust' level than any guy ever will be.

How many of the female profiles are bot-generated fakes? Lots! Sites like RSVP, Okcupid, Badoo, the 'E' site, etc. are saturated with spam-bot generated profiles just like POF is.

Basically for a site like this one, I make the presumption that for every legit female profile there are going to be 10 or 100 or maybe 1000 male profiles, so every legit female profile is potentially going to be receiving masses of contacts if the pics are interesting and the profile text content is interesting and doesn't appear obviously fake/scammy.
 pfif
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 34
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Posted: 1/16/2019 2:37:15 PM
OP: A scammer will create really intense drama. Any signs of
that, take it here immediately, or to somebody who knows
how that works.

They can (and do) put a female on the telephone, even when
it's a male scammer.

Don't mean nothin' until you meet face to face. Only then does
anything matter (at all).

You can have: male scammer running all text communications,
dotted by an occasional phone call with a female.

Just sayin'.

If you are scammed, call your bank (immediately) and ask to
close your account, to reopen another. Explain why. They will
put a fraud alert in with your credit report bureau.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 35
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Posted: 1/16/2019 5:00:57 PM

……….. out of the sub-5 percent who do actually reply, 1 percent of those will actually have a real communication that might lead to meeting up in person.



LOL, Good grief!...…………….. Between last night and now, I have answered all messages in my INBOX. Have a meet for Friday evening and coffee WITH a muffin, for Sunday mornin'. So far I think I have made about a dozen men very happy. I REPLIED to them! Just think...………….. I still have an opening for Saturday.

( It's all true, even though I admit I'm snickerin' here. I am not a man, obviously,...…………. but for the life of me, I can't figure out who these women are...………..that the men complain about / whine / cry over...…….. who will not respond.
Have I NOT responded to some? Yes, When I receive rude / inappropriate / incoherent first messages, I ignore those.
I'm thinkin' about writin' that book, Fullmoonguy)
 johnfromzelie
Joined: 3/8/2018
Msg: 36
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Posted: 1/16/2019 5:24:30 PM
some guys message many to stack the odds. send out 100 and 'maybe' someone will respond. I send out very few. only to women that truly interest me and only those that realistically might be interested. that being said, I still only get 10%-20% response. most of those fizzle out after a few superficial messages.
 pfif
Joined: 8/25/2013
Msg: 37
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Posted: 1/16/2019 5:46:00 PM
LIR407: It's just that writing first is basically a cold sales call.

I wouldn't want the reverse - having to politely answer so many
inquiries, if the tables were turned.

When I was putting in effort here, I got some very nice first
replies, but with just a bit of foresight understood that they
were the first overtures of a 'thanks but no thanks' decision
they'd already made (or were near to making).

I was a lot more entertaining (I think) when I still believed
in this process (I don't; haven't in a long time). I rarely
message now, and when I do I don't think it's necessarily
coherent in the narrow context of this place.

On an open BBS (forum) sure .. no problem. But the
expectations of the dating site portion of POF are very
rigid and structured, allowing for not much playfulness
and spontaneity.

I can't even think of another venue where the primary driver
in member-to-member contact is a profile!

Imagine if that was the case in this forum: that you had to
comb profiles to initiate *every single conversation*.

What that would be like.

It's just bizarre, and very dysfunctional. Creates a surreal
environment in which to communicate (says I).
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 38
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Posted: 1/17/2019 5:56:56 PM

I'm thinkin' about writin' that book, Fullmoonguy)


Go for it.


Between last night and now, I have answered all messages in my INBOX. Have a meet for Friday evening and coffee WITH a muffin, for Sunday mornin'. So far I think I have made about a dozen men very happy. I REPLIED to them! Just think.



,...…………. but for the life of me, I can't figure out who these women are...………..that the men complain about / whine / cry over...…….. who will not respond.


They are the vast assortment of inert, unmotivated women who are no longer able to grasp the workings of the concept, as you have.
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 39
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Posted: 1/17/2019 7:34:53 PM
It has been Three months with no input from the OP- maybe he is busy with his new love!
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