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 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 426
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or failsPage 18 of 19    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19)
It's easy to never get hurt if you're perpetually single and not putting yourself out there. Part of putting one's self out there to find love and companionship is the risk of getting hurt. However, barring getting chopped up in a million pieces, some adversities can build strength, compassion and character. I'd just hope they learn from their mistakes.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 427
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/26/2018 1:37:37 PM

I'm talking about MAJOR , LIFE-ALTERING MISTAKES THAT CAN NEEDLESSLY THREATEN YOUR LIFE.

Like - crossing the street? Eating a grape? Driving to work? Daring to go out on the lawn to get the newspaper in January in your bathrobe?

People get killed for all kinds of willy-nilly unexpected, unplanned reasons. Life happens. You cannot stop it.
People who think that self-control and self-guidance is the only way to reach planned happiness are usually the idiots who get blind-sided at 9 am on some idle Tuesday morning.

Getting on a plane has risk. So does climbing into a roller-coaster. So does pumping gas at the local petrol station. People who run or jog every day still keel over from sudden heart attacks.

People who commit heinous assaults and other such crimes are MOST likely someone who is considered a friend or relative or acquaintance with which you have ALREADY exercised some degree of trust. That is NOT dependent on gender or how many risks are taken outside the normal operations of everyday life.

The high school boys in Baraboo, WI were waving at the camera last spring for a prom photo, and ten months later they are getting death threats from unknown internet trolls - along with their classmates, girlfriends, teachers and even local law enforcement. Who the hell saw THAT coming? You? Yeah, sure - riiiiiight. Hind sight being 20/20 makes that future prognostication a piece of cake to figure out.

Life-altering events happen ALL THE TIME. I can decide right this second - that a year from now I want to look like Schwarzenegger did in his Mr. Olympia days. I might die tomorrow trying to achieve that goal - or I might succeed. But it won't EVER happen if I don't accept the risk. Too many idiots out there spend their lives avoiding risk and pain and not enough time realizing it takes a lot of aches and pains to succeed at damn near anything. Sitting online on these dating sites is a lot like sitting on a street corner waiting for a handout - and then getting mad when someone gives you a quarter instead of a $20 bill. Realize your own absurdity sometime.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 428
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/26/2018 5:09:43 PM

And of course, the big reason women end up with jerks is the attraction to the bad boy

You keep throwing this comment around....
Not all women are attracted to bad boys....
Not all bad boys are jerks....
and most definitely not all jerks are "bad boys".

I married a college educated man with a great job.
He rarely drank, smoked a little weed now and then and so did I...
Never been arrested and was raising his two sons along with his ex-wife whom he got along great with.
Treated me with respect and compassion....until the day he got laid off from his job and went back to work for his farmer father.
He suddenly became angry at the world....and I got to take the brunt of it.
 calliopedreams
Joined: 11/21/2017
Msg: 429
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/26/2018 5:11:40 PM

Msg 425: People who look down on or judge others for bad decisions really shouldn't.


So, it is hurtful when people look down on you, but you had no problem going into a relationship thinking you were the superior person?


Msg 336: when I met my second boyfriend, I knew I didn't love him so I figured he couldn't hurt me. I figured I could just grow to love him and because I was better than him I was in control.



And of course, the big reason women end up with jerks is the attraction to the bad boy, something really played up in romance movies and books.


You really have some odd beliefs about what "women" do and it is unfortunate that you rely on media intended for escapism as a barometer of what is "normal."
 julystorm22
Joined: 6/15/2018
Msg: 430
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/26/2018 5:49:23 PM
Ms. Micki, did he have a mental illness that was suddenly triggered by the job loss? Sometimes suddenly a person's personality changes when a certain hormone spikes in the brain, activating a genetic predisposition for a particular mental illness.
 fullmoonguy2
Joined: 6/14/2017
Msg: 431
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/26/2018 6:13:58 PM

Like - crossing the street? Eating a grape? Driving to work? Daring to go out on the lawn to get the newspaper in January in your bathrobe?


No, Einstein, more like this:

"A Christian missionary was killed last week during an attempt to contact the inhabitants of North Sentinel Island, a remote Indian island in the Bay of Bengal. That missionary, John Chau, was a native of Vancouver, Washington."

"In a statement after Chau's death, Covenant Journey referred to Chau, who broke Indian law by trespassing on the island and attempting to contact the tribe, as a "martyr.""

" On Saturday, November 17, the fishermen returned to take John back to Port Blair. They reportedly saw that John was shot by arrows but kept walking. He was killed by the Sentinelese. The tribals placed a rope around his neck and dragged him along the shore where they would bury his body. The fishermen turned their boat around and informed authorities upon their arrival in Port Blair. Helicopters dispatched to North Sentinel to investigate John’s murder were unable to land.

Chau, according to media reports, knew what he was doing was both dangerous and illegal—the Sentinelese have a reputation for shooting arrows at people who try to land on their island and have not accepted any attempt at contact from the outside world.

The Sentinelese are one of the last uncontacted populations of humans on Earth. Their territory is protected by Indian law, which prohibits anyone from going within 5 nautical miles of the island. The people are thought to have been in the area for over 55,000 years, and their language is completely unknown to outsiders.

There are only an estimated 15 Sentinelese left on the island, according to the Indian government's 2011 census, and because they've been completely isolated, any contact with outsiders is an existential threat. They just don't have the immune systems for outside contact. John Chau may have thought that bringing the word of Jesus to the Sentinelese people would save them, but he wasn't a savior, he was an intruder. His death, of course, is tragic, but even Jesus couldn't save John Chau from himself. "

Another article said one of his last messages to friends before going was, "I don't want to die".

Then I would suggest that you forego visiting an island whose inhabitants are known to kill all strangers.

Of course people die unexpectedly every day, but if you deliberately put yourself in known harm's way, you're just helping things along yourself needlessly.



Like - crossing the street?


That depends.
Are you waiting until all the traffic passes by, and there is no chance of getting hit by a car, or are you just walking out into moving traffic and expecting them to stop just for you?
If you're walking out into moving traffic and expecting them to just stop for you, you're taking an unnecessary risk and being an idiot.

Another SMH moment.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 432
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/26/2018 7:00:54 PM

Ms. Micki, did he have a mental illness that was suddenly triggered by the job loss? Sometimes suddenly a person's personality changes when a certain hormone spikes in the brain, activating a genetic predisposition for a particular mental illness


Not that I know of.
Always seemed to be "booze related". His new wife says he's a changed man since he quit drinking.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 433
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 4:02:24 AM
Thank you Ms.Micki for replying to my post 343. Your reply gave me a lot of insight and understanding about your thinking. My apologies for my post being so harsh but it seems to be the only way I can write these days though it also accomplished what I wanted, It changed the topic at hand. After my post it took another 69 posts before someone criticised July again.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 434
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 4:15:48 AM

My apologies for my post being so harsh but it seems to be the only way I can write these days

No....it's not....you CHOSE to be "harsh".
This post proves you are fully capable of the opposite.
and remember, July starts these threads....so she is fully aware that she will be told the truth whether she wants to hear it or not.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 435
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 6:27:08 AM
Geez....talking about taking chances, etc.
There was an article online about a guy that went hang gliding
for the first time and the pilot neglected to attach him to the
glider. They took off and he had to hang on by his hands for
over 2 minutes until the pilot could land sort of safely.

I get super flutterbyes in my stomach so not sure I could hang
glide...pretty sure I won't try that.
 Carnival_Fishing
Joined: 10/2/2018
Msg: 436
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 7:05:42 AM
It sounds like the pilot wasn't very bright, if he forgot to attach the guy to the glider. That's like learning how to sky dive, and the instructor forgetting to tell you to strap the parachute to your body. I'm not the daredevil type, to see if I can defy death or serious injuries, so I wouldn't do it as well. Another thing I certainly won't try is bungee jumping. I get the vision of the one time the cord snaps and free-falling to the ground.
 Natey2
Joined: 7/4/2011
Msg: 437
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 7:33:52 AM
Msg: 431

His death, of course, is tragic, but even Jesus couldn't save John Chau from himself.

Ask any real Christian, and they'll tell you there are more important things than their life on this earth.
(Real Moslems and Jews understand that too)

If Peter, Paul, etc (in the Bible) valued their life on earth more than what they had to do, they wouldn't have been executed by the Romans they way they were:
Paul: Beheaded.
Peter: Crucified, upside down.

And Jesus did save them.
 BaldwinMotionPhaseIII
Joined: 10/15/2018
Msg: 438
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 7:54:51 AM
there's nothing wrong with taking a calculated risk. sometimes we just react instinctively to a stimulus, and if it goes wrong, then we've suffered a "learning experience". If we commit that same fault again, then its a mistake--we should have learned. the third time, however, and its a pattern--we're doing it b/c we get some gain from it, and are willing to pay a price.

bad boys get the most traction with immature women looking for an emotional roller coaster ride, so they can feel emotions in life. they'd be better off with a job in emergency rescue--they'd have so much drama they wouldn't need to invent any.

as for the missionary...there's a reason it was illegal to do what he did. he was self centered to think he was somehow going to be different. its hard to save people from themselves. and that's my missionary position.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 1/17/2018
Msg: 439
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 8:14:06 AM

as for the missionary...there's a reason it was illegal to do what he did. he was self centered to think he was somehow going to be different. its hard to save people from themselves. and that's my missionary position.


(I see what you did there! )

His friends say he knew it was illegal but that he thought it was his mission to bring religion to the tribe.
I'm not sure he'd think it was a mistake even dead, I think he really believed he was doing the right thing and that
somehow he'd be protected. I'm at once amazed, envious and repulsed at that sort of thinking.
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 440
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 8:23:44 AM
^^^
Yes, and so what about the people who would be exposed to any bacteria/germs he would expose them to that could be life altering? His mission was more important than their health. Disgusting. I too am repulsed at that sort of thinking.
 Spectrallight
Joined: 9/14/2018
Msg: 441
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 9:26:11 AM
I'm pretty sure the same tribe lost people due to bacterial infection in the past from western exposure.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 442
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 1:29:39 PM
.
.
... An interesting item came to light today ~ especially if you are of a religious persuasion ( which I am not ) It concerns the religious belief that humans, came in fact from an " Adam & Eve " type scenario. Seems that scientists have confirmed that ALL men & women on earth today, are directly related through the DNA originally passed on by JUST one of each ( male & female ) possibly ape - like > human beings. Like who shoulda, coulda, woulda thunk it ???

I'll be downright " hogged / aped " tied ( col )

... I have always thought that there were many ( sort of humanoid / sort of apes ) involved in the gradual transition occurring from ape, to a full fledged human being.

... Isn't life grand !!! fellow brother apes ( ou ou ou ) and sister ( ah ah ah ) apes ??? I think so !!!

... heart / papa ADAM & momma EVE / sun ( col )
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 443
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 4:52:53 PM
That's interesting, where can I read more about this research? For the past 4 years I don't believe anything I read in any media source.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 444
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 5:10:50 PM
:) ... ^ Hi Mahwah kiddo ! I heard about it on a television news channel today. So maybe if you " google " it ??? A church representative associated with the news network was QUITE pleased to hear of the study. He immediately associated it with the religious Adam & Eve ( naturally so ) But I agree with you though, nowadays I don't take anything I hear from any source, as a concrete fact.

..... Makes you think though, if people came from say ( for fun ) a human Adam & Eve ~ kind of muddles with the theory of an ape to human evolution thing-e goin' on.

~hugs ~

ps? I kind of added on my own, the stuff about evolution & the statement " possibly ape-like thing " myself. I tend to add stuff like that as often as I can, to keep things interesting ( col )

heart / sun

 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 445
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 5:34:41 PM
I was surprised when I was at Barnes and noble and they have all these tutorials... There was a book I remember "how to f*** a woman" I think humans have that one figured out.
 backcreek7
Joined: 12/2/2014
Msg: 446
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 5:41:15 PM
^^^ are you sure that wasn't a porn magazine, lol

~ you are so right about we humans though ~

& I think the apes have it figured out too ! ( ou ou ou > ah ah ah )

.............................................................. ^ VERY happy ape noises ^




col
 lnitia
Joined: 10/11/2018
Msg: 447
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 6:03:34 PM
Matriarchal DNA- one original source (LUCY) -that has been known for quite some time-as matriarchal DNA is basically fixed and more readily traced- news to me about the "adam" patriarchal DNA: interesting: so i will have to check it out.
 mahwahgirl339114
Joined: 10/31/2017
Msg: 448
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 8:31:39 PM

^^^ are you sure that wasn't a porn magazine, lol

It's a book, look it up! It costs almost 30 dollars and there's only 2 left in stock.

In order to maintain the highest quality forums you are restricted to having no more then 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.
Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 449
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/27/2018 10:41:51 PM

No....it's not....you CHOSE to be "harsh".

Ms.Micki not everyone chooses to be harsh due to other influences which can affect their behavior. My behavior has become erratic and on here beyond reprehensible though I'm trying to regain control. It's the reason I seldom post.
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 450
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A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/28/2018 12:33:24 AM

If I don't like "who" a man is to start with....I'm not going to get into a relationship with him.
Why would anyong become involved with someone that needs "fixed" into being their perfect partner???
Men aren't puppies to be trained to act a certain way!


Exactly. Falling for someone's "potential" will usually end in disappointment. If you cannot accept a person for who they are at the time you chose to be with them, you shouldn't proceed any further. They might live up to the potential you've built for them in your own head, but they might not.


Ms.Micki not everyone chooses to be harsh due to other influences which can affect their behavior.


Boo-hoo. You've been unnecessarily nasty & judgmental to numerous posters on here, myself included. Everyone on here has issues, we choose how to navigate them. By spreading vitriol, you've painted yourself in a smaller corner than you were in beforehand. Don't be surprised if those around you choose not to be empathetic.
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